We’ve all laughed, but what was once a harmless joke is just not funny any more. Today, with the explosion of social media, there’s really no such thing as a “private” joke. Nothing is private and a joke is no longer just innocent.
Sadly, it’s not us but the times we live in. A cute or semi-insulting picture or WhatsApp post often finds its way onto social media and is immediately misconstrued as frum Jews as being racist, xenophobic, or worse. The unthinking actions of one individual cause many of us to shake our heads and hide in shame. We can & must do better.
It’s no longer just a “Frum” thing. By now we really should understand that every action, big or small, has a potential reaction. A harmless prank or an insensitive costume on Purim, once no big deal, can have serious repercussions for our broader community putting Jews in harm’s way.
We’ve seen it all too often. Don’t take my word for it, ask former Assemblyman Dov Hikind, who meant no harm several years ago when he dressed up in blackface as an NBA basketball player.
No longer is a private joke just a joke. Social media has changed all that. Nothing is private if it’s posted on Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram, Facebook, etc. The secular media has hungry reporters and individuals looking for negative stories to post about us. There’s no shortage, unfortunately. Don’t become the story. Think how the outside world will view your fake dreadlocks or your Purim turban. Think!
I specifically point to the centuries-old custom of hanging an effigy of Haman. Today, unfortunately, we are living in a time of unprecedented antisemitism. Jews know how it feels to be singled out for harassment & hate. Be it a bomb threat, knockout attacks, or swastikas, we understand hatred, and we understand intolerance. But we don’t have a monopoly on those feelings. Other communities, particularly minorities, suffer discrimination too. They, like us, know how it feels to be targeted and we need to be sensitive to that reality.
Outsiders don’t understand the harmless symbolism of the hanging Haman. It’s just not funny in the current environment. It is cruel and yes, dangerous. Think how outsiders will view you. If it doesn’t pass the smell test, it likely stinks. The world has its own interpretations of us, and it is not farfetched to see our harmless Purim fun misconstrued in a very sinister way. It happens every day.
Think about how your actions will be viewed. Please just think before you do.
Look, I love Purim and I absolutely hate political correctness. But we are in galus, and we must be sensitive to the world around us. Double parking, public drunkenness, and bad behavior is something normal people can all agree is not appropriate, even on Purim. We have neighbors, Jews and non- Jews alike, who need to considered before vomiting on their lawn or blocking their driveway. It’s just not cool or Jewish to run around all night screaming at the top of your lungs, disturbing sleeping neighbors.
Please, by all means, go out, collect tzedakah, and have a blast, but remember who and where you are. Enjoy your private party, but try to keep it private. Let’s enjoy the concept of ‘live and let live’ by not blaring loud music that disturbs everyone. It’s Purim, not Mardi Gras, and this year, in the current climate, let’s be extra sensitive.
It’s not a joke. Many of your gentile neighbors don’t understand how such special people could behave so un-special. Show some humanity from those you expect the same from every other day of the week. Think about it.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Who does this guy think he is?” Please don’t go there. I’m you and you are me. We are both trying to live our lives peacefully in an increasingly unpeaceful world. Don’t look for reasons to criticize this article or the writer; instead find reasons to embrace the opportunity to make a Kiddush Hashem.
So, to review: If you think dressing up as a member of a minority is a clever idea, think again- it’s not. If you feel like hanging up an effigy of Haman in dreadlocks, please reconsider the broad ramifications of your actions. Resist the urge to do anything that can be used against us. Giving haters and anti-Semites the opportunity to accuse us of being racist is preventable if you just think.
We are lucky to live in America, and this land still provides us with the incredible right to practice our religion how we wish. But nobody has the right to act in a way that insults, disturbs, or demeans anyone. We are a great people, so let’s try to act like it. Just think. Have a happy and safe Purim.
Sincerely,
Mordechai Hayehudi
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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19 Responses
Lol I just love how he signed his name as Mordechai hayehudi
He makes great points. Thank you for sharing
Another “Woke” leftist article on this Jewish website trying to import goyish values upon the frum community, all the while the author posing and impersonating himself as a member of the frum community.
I agree with this article 200%, it is truth.
But please let me take it a step farther:
We now live in a time when there are video cameras EVERYWHERE:
inside all stores, outside all stores, inside all office buildings, outside all office buildings, inside all residential apartment buildings, outside all residential apartment buildings, in subways, in busses, in taxi-cars, in uber-cars, in restaurants, in medical offices – the cameras are EVERYWHERE, and they are working 24 hours every day, 365 days each year.
When people catch Jews doing something wrong on-camera, [or even not on-camera], they rejoice more than if they had won a lottery for $300 million dollars. PLEASE DO NOT give them the ammunition they need to propagandize against Jews! Remember that you are ALWAYS being watched by the cameras, and in many cases, you are being watch by MULTIPLE CAMERAS, all at the same time!
Additionally, neo-Nazis read a newspaper called HAARETZ, and they use what they find in it to propagandize against Jews.
Last-but-not-least, I beg of you to never commit the fatal mistake of speaking to news reporters. No matter how nice they may seem, the news reporters are NOT our friends; they consider Jews to be their enemies, and they forever search for ways to propagandize against us.
Even the most innocent statement that you make to news reporters will be distorted and used against us by these shameless liars.
If you want to avoid making a BIG Chillul HaShem, then NEVER say even one word to news reporters, not even one little word!m And NEVER allow them to take your picture!!
I agree with this article 200%, it is truth.
But please let me take it a step farther:
We now live in a time when there are video cameras EVERYWHERE:
inside all stores, outside all stores, inside all office buildings, outside all office buildings, inside all residential apartment buildings, outside all residential apartment buildings, in subways, in busses, in taxi-cars, in uber-cars, in restaurants, in medical offices – the cameras are EVERYWHERE, and they are working 24 hours every day, 365 days each year.
When people catch Jews doing something wrong on-camera, [or even not on-camera], they rejoice more than if they had won a lottery for $300 million dollars. PLEASE DO NOT give them the ammunition they need to propagandize against Jews! Remember that you are ALWAYS being watched by the cameras, and in many cases, you are being watch by MULTIPLE CAMERAS, all at the same time!
Additionally, neo-Nazis read a newspaper called HAARETZ, and they use what they find in it to propagandize against Jews.
Last-but-not-least, I beg of you to never commit the fatal mistake of speaking to news reporters. No matter how nice they may seem, the news reporters are NOT our friends; they consider Jews to be their enemies, and they forever search for ways to propagandize against us.
Even the most innocent statement that you make to news reporters will be distorted and used against us by these shameless liars.
If you want to avoid making a BIG Chillul HaShem, then NEVER say even one word to news reporters, not even one little word!! And NEVER allow them to take your picture!!
Square,
What a sad, desperate way to go through life especially because almost all you wrote is not true.
What if people’s sensitivities are merely false narratives foisted upon them?
Black people weren’t lynched any more frequently than other groups; it was a public execution… statistically Asian immigrants were lynched at a rate almost as high as black people, and they somehow aren’t offended when they see a tire swing which can be seen as a noose if you look at it at a 40 degree angle at sunset.
There was nothing racist about the method of execution, rather the fact that black people were killed due to discrimination, is the issue.
It would be like saying that guns are racist, or swords.
It’s ridiculous and we don’t need to pander to every nonsensical feeling that everyone finds reason to be offended by.
There always are people who are less considerate of others. You make a good point, however I find it slightly insulting to generalize as if we all go around vomiting on people’s lawns.
Please don’t compare to Mardi Gras cellebrators, I shudder to think what the results of that community’s version of purim would look like.
We are a holy nation who knows how to get drunk and stay holy, it’s a beautiful scene to see drunken yidden in the streets on purim.
Of course there are always some who’ll misbehave and cause a scene, but I don’t think any article or anon mailbag letter will change them.
Enjoy the beautiful Yom tov and stop hiding in the name of galus.
Lechaim
This is the first smart thing that I’ve ever read in the YWN Mailbag.
It’s a slippery slope. While I agree we do have to be careful, unfortunately we are living in a hypersensitive society where every little thing is taken as personal offense and direct insult. Even having someone ride a horse in bigdei achashveirosh with a Haman dress up leading could be offensive to some (glorifying the downtrodden, enslaved enemy…etc). Though it does seem far fetched, many of the presumed insults are. I don’t know how things would be teased out for what is or isn’t ok.
The Kli Yakar says in Devarim (2,3) on penu lachem tzafana that in galus one should be inconspicuous and not create our own anti-Semitism.
Excellent article, thank you. Kol Hakavod.
All the best,
Tuvia
This comment by UJM “Another “Woke” leftist article on this Jewish website trying to import goyish values upon the frum community, all the while the author posing and impersonating himself as a member of the frum community.” is what’s wrong with many frum Jews currently. Because someone espouses different cultural sensitivities than you, you are claiming he isn’t frum. You’ve so thoroughly ceded your identity to sociopolitics (conservative in your case) that you are throwing someone out of yiddishkeit because of it. You’re the leftists you decry, essentially.
A Purim Thought for the *Galus Jew*
The message is fine. The title is mis-leading. Our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisroel are also Golus Yidden until the arrival of Moshiach. And this article applies to them Equally. every Sonay Yisroel looks for something THEY consider Evil to attach to yidden, and especially FRUM Yidden. It is just not worth it to do anything that will disturb the hornet’s nest full of Soney Yisroel that look for innocent actions that they can blow up into an incident. Trying to fly below the radar of the Soney Yisroel is not being “Woke” It is just living among those that arise in every generation….
Aveira,
Why not put your money where your mouth is? Show up at the MO school where you teach in black face on Monday and let us know how that goes for you.
The writer is 100% correct.
I just heard from a director of a large summer camp that they once had an effigy hanging on camp grounds. It wasn’t dark colored, it didn’t have dreadlocks, and couldn’t be identified as any minority. Yet some utility workers who came on grounds saw it and commented about it to the director, for the simple fact that they felt it was inappropriate to celebrate a hanging of anyone. The director had the effigy removed.
I just saw a “haman” hanging from a porch in an outer area of Boro Park, one that is still full of gentiles and a block away from a public high-school. The figure looked dark skinned. My first thought was that the people who hung it up are certainly unaware of what such an innocent (to them) item might provoke…
Yes, we are watched constantly and are on camera all the time. But that’s not really a new thing. חז”ל tell us that עין רואה ואוזן שומעת וכל מעשיך בספר נכתבים. The Chazon Ish once said that if it was hard to understand this concept in the past, Radio and telephones show us אזן שומעת, TV shows us ען רואה, and the telegraph shows us בספר נכתבים. Today the internet shows us all three, and the speed at which this is done.
We need to be mindful of the physical cameras out there through which we make a kiddush HaShem or, chalila, a Chilul HaShem. We also need to remember the invisible cameras, those that report our behavior up in Shamayim, and make sure we always act appropriately in that regard as well.
Well said.
Thank you!
Sometimes the obvious has to be said, because as they say, common sense is not so common.
Excellent points!!! Thank you!
Avira,
This one of the few times I’m going to disagree with you. Strongly. It’s important for us to keep aloe profile and avoid doing things that will incite the ire of the Unos HaOlam , regardless of whether their ire and sensitivity is based on a false perception or upon the truth.
Not doing things in public that can create problems for us is common sense.
And it probably goes into the idea of:
אין שוגג ואין מזיד בחילול ה
Celebrating Purim ke’Hilchata can (and obviously should) be done without hurting anyone. Isn’t sholom one of its themes? Hanging effigies is a problem today for us Yiddin and should be avoided. Unfortunately there are people who seeing a hanging effigy will have an emotional reaction, perhaps they know someone who has tried to hang themselves etc. There is no mitzvah to hang a doll outside but there is a mitzvah of v’ahavta lerayacha. Why choose a costume that will elicit a negative response?
The custom of getting drunk and then roaming the streets is unsafe, a chillul Hashem and doesnt honor Mordechai, Esther, or anyone.
Drinking is part of the day, but do it responsibly and safely. Stay in a safe place till you return to normal. I have heard of too many people who serve alcohol but get rid of the bochorim before they are throwing up on the couch. Ayzehu Chacham… If you dont want to deal with the drunk , dont serve alcohol or limit the drinks. Do you want it on your conscience if something happens??
May this Purim be celebrated properly, keHilchata and promote sholom (איש לריעיהו) as its intended to.
maskil – If it actually would put Jews in danger, then I agree, since it’s not a halacha or even a strong minhag(as far as I know). Whether it’s a chilul Hashem or not…on the one hand, it doesn’t in itself show us going against Torah values, but it might make people think that we hate black people, so i dont know.
dofi – i never advocated for blackface. It is understandably hurtful to black people, who were belittled and mistreated by a culture which was against them years ago. I do not, however, think that nooses are in any way associated with racism, but maskil is making a good point.