By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com

It is a remarkably inspiring story involving mesiras nefesh, tefilos at kever Rochel, and a seven day yartzeit candle.

It began with a knock on the Rav’s door that came out of the blue, this past Motzei Shabbos. One of his mispallelim, Reuvain we will call him, was at the front door. His aunt had passed away on the west coast. The aunt’s instructions were that she should be cremated, rachmana litzlan. Reuvain had three brothers, and they did not know what to do or how to approach things.

THE BACKGROUND

Reuvain’s father was a chozer bitshuvah years ago. His side of the family was entirely unfamiliar with the loftiness of what a tzelem elokim represents. It was a family that did not yet know the beauties of Torah minhagim.

The four brothers did wish to demonstrate their sense of family and to be noseh b’ol chaveiram. They just didn’t know what to do and how to go about things. And so there was that knock on the Rav’s door.

The Rav got in touch with Rabbi Elchonon Zohn, of the Queens and Manhattan Chevra Kadisha. Rabbi Zohn carefully encouraged and instructed them as to how to approach it.  They must, at all costs, proceed with darchei noam and with kiddush Hashem in mind. He also called the legendary Yanky Meyer and asked for his man on the ground on the west coast. That man on the ground was a remarkable Chabad Shliach.

Everyone realized that the only way to change the course of what was about to happen was if they all flew out to the west coast. The four boarded the first flight that they could book.

OVERWHELMED

The daughters of the deceased aunt were overwhelmed by what they saw. Here were their cousins from New York who had flown out to be with them. And all this in the middle of the Delta-Variant flare up. The brothers, their cousins, had purchased food; they consoled; they were figurative shoulders to cry on; and, interestingly enough, they had also purchased a seven day yahrtzeit candle.

The aunt’s daughters were curious about the candle. They asked when it was supposed to be lit. The brothers answered that traditionally it is lit in the home – after the burial.

THE DOOR OPENS

A door was opened. The daughters asked and inquired about more and more of the wonderful Jewish traditions of mourning. There were also delays in the cremation procedures. The daughters initially agreed that it would be best to go through the traditional route.

WE DID IT!

Some of the brothers expressed to themselves how they had felt, “Wow! We did it.”  Later, they realized that this may not have been the correct feeling to have.  On some level, they were perhaps missing a deeper understanding of the yad Hashem.

THE MONKEY WRENCH

A short while later. one of the boyfriends of the woman’s daughters got involved and so did some other family members.  A monkey wrench was thrown into things.  The changes were undone, and the cremation arrangements went back into place.

The brothers placed the dilemna on the family chat.  Tehillim were recited by the two sisters in Eretz Yisroel and by kvarim of Tzaddikim in Eretz Yisroel.  People from New York to Eretz Yisroel were davening.  And a video appeared on the family chat of people davening for them at Kever Rochel.

Rochel mevaka al baneha.

Then a nais happened. The daughters were torn.  Some family members were encouraging her to stick to the plan.  One of the daughters said to the family members who were encouraging the cremation, “All I know is that they, the cousins are here.  No one else showed up.  They cared to come and console us.  We will go the traditional route.”

Still there were hurdles.  The Chabad Shliach made phone calls, and true Nissim happened.  The aunt’s original plans were discovered.  She did arrange for Kvurah and tahara, but something had come along and convinced her to change those plans.

Two of the brothers remarked afterwards, “It was clearly a message from Hashem.  Ain od milvado, the hishtadlus that was done in going out helped make the change – but it was all yad Hashem.”

But then another problem came up.  The cost of the Halachic arrangements was some $6000 more than the cremation costs – even though most of it, including the plot was already paid for in her first pre-planning arrangement. The cousins had already spent much money on the tickets and had taken off work.  The six thousand was a substantial hurdle. Where would this extra money come from?

THE SHUL CHAT

They reached out to the Rav, from the Motzai Shabbos knock.  He gave them interesting advice. The Rav told them to put the story on the shul chat. They did.

One might think that the $6000 was raised within days, or within hours.  But this was not the case.  It was raised within a few short minutes.  In fact, this is untrue.  It was actually raised in less than one minute!

Indeed, this was perhaps the first time in millennium, that a message had to go out – “Stop!  We appreciate everything and enough has already been raised.”  The brothers had felt bad putting a stop to the flow of chessed – but, of course, it had to be done.

She received a fine Jewish burial.

This is a story of Emunah, bitachon, inspiration, and proper hashkafos all wrapped in one.  But it also tells us of something else that is most inspiring in this holy month of Elul.  It demonstrates a lesson in Mi Ka’amcha Yisroel!

The author can be reached at [email protected]