Dear Klal Yisroel,

I write this because it pains me to be witness to holy Jewish mothers and fathers being insulted and denigrated.

I am talking about my sweet little nephew Dovi* and his future.

I am talking about all the sweet little boys and girls, who are sitting at home today and unbeknownst to them, they have been rejected. Even though pre-school or first grade has started.

The way our Yiddish mamas protect their children is like none other. They have led their child to believe that they are not in school because of a virus. Indeed it is true, they are home for another virus.

A virus that unlike Covid-19 that spares children entirely, this particular virus affects our precious children first and hardest.

It is the virus regarding the handling of acceptance of our precious and pure children into school. These children gifted to us from Hashem, full of potential and yet nowhere to actualize it.

It’s a virus that has many side effects and there are thousands of cases in our community’s right now! These children are all in quarantine and there is no end in sight.

As Yidden, we are Am Hanivchar, we are fair and honest. We do chessed like no other nation, and we raise our kids to be the best servants of Hashem they can be.

I have tried to think of areas, where the world on a global scale does a finer moral job then Am Yisroel. I can tell you, it’s hard to find!

Where in the world is there a volunteer ambulance company that responds in 19 seconds to save a life, of course besides Hatzalah?

Where are beggars afforded a dollar by half a room of 50 people at shul or a wedding?

Where is there an organization that goes to all ends of the world to bring new children into the world? For free, besides Bonnie Olam.

The list goes on and on.

All because we live by a Torah, a living Torah that guides our morals and values. To say we are ten levels above the world’s morals, I think that would be an understatement.

Except, when it comes to accepting our precious Neshamas into school.

In the United States and across the world, a similar acceptance process exists to get accepted into colleges.

The U.S. Department of Education has thousands of pages of case law regarding acceptance discrimination of all kinds. Besides the many initiatives that top Universities have enacted to give opportunities and acceptance to less prime candidates.

Most importantly a safety net exists where tangible tests or a goal can be met for acceptance or not.

A majority of our Mosdos’s acceptance system is riddled with unfairness. Yet no safety net exists, to prevent it.

It’s the wild west and it happens that acceptance decisions are riddled with favoritism, politics and a lack of transparency.

I am no fool and I understand the need for an application and rejection process. Let’s not kid ourselves, these rejections happen to good families and great kids. Some might not have a well-known last name. It could be an honorable family that may have less means than the average family. It may be an ehrlich family with a smaller social circle that has less “pull”, or a growing family formerly from out of town that recently moved to be part of a frumer and larger community.

Our tradition has it that Bnei Yisroel are held to a higher standard than the umos ha’olam. We need a safety net for acceptance and our institution heads need to curb favoritism when it comes to accepting our children.

We should all be on board for this and want to play by the same rules.

The Gemorah in the first perek of Mesechtas Shabbos points out that it is improper for parents to have a favorite child, and how the Torah clearly implies that all of the trouble surrounding mechiras Yosef and galus Mitzrayim came about because Yaakov Avinu treated Yosef differently than the other brothers.

We are all a family according to our tradition our Rabbiem and schools take on the responsibility of a parent.

The epicenter for this virus not in Whuan or in New York City. It’s unfortunately in Lakewood, New Jersey, and other communities.

I have personally seen multiple wonderful Lakewood fathers go to all the ends of the world this year. In order to attempt to get their children accepted into a Yeshiva without luck.

Downtrodden, these parents continue the process of finding an institution that will accept their child.

I have heard countless stories, where rejections came with false accusations, leveled at good parents. Without being afforded communication lines to fight for their child, name, and integrity.

I have seen a wonderful Torah family rejected on the grounds of being “too modern”. Though this particular family lives a robust frum life including high levels of tznius, chinuch, learning and without internet in their home.

When these families fight back for their dignity. Critical responses I have heard this year range from “you are saying this now only in order to get your kids in”, or a push-off in the form of “we are going to send someone to watch you for a few months, and then we will decide”.

In the words of a recent shiur that went viral by Rabbi YY Jacobson, he says “very often we Jews become judgemental – we go into are little cacoon”

“If you look like me, if you dress like me, if you daven my nusach, if you believe everything I believe – I love you.”

“But the moment I see that you deviate from my path in the smallest way, my mahalach, my chalois, my geder, my inyan, my nekudah, my type of machashava, my nusach. I am already uncomfortable with you.”

“Narrowness is not the name of the game anymore, we need expansive Jews – not tunnel vision jews. We need the ability to be able to celebrate every Jew – the ability to see that what connects us is far more important and far more vital then what divides us.”

We as a community and especially our trusted heads of our institutions need to become expansive. They must realize they will have to give Din V’cheshbon to the one who knows the truth about every applicant.

Practically, there is a need to find a system that fairly looks into applicants. To focus on what they are really about inside and out. Finally to see that what brings all applicants together is the desire to educate our children in the finest ways of Torah.

Only 60 years ago this idea that parents wanted to educate their children in great Chedarim and Bies Yaakov’s was a major source of Nachas for our leaders.

With the Yamim Noraim just around the corner, its time a reckoning be made in the offices of our institutions. So these small children from great families are given the chance they shouldn’t have to be begging for.

In the words of my small nephew currently sitting at home, “I want to go to Yeshiva to learn Torah”, let’s let him learn!

Name withheld upon request.

Ps: I would like to publicly thank all the Askanim who are working tirelessly for this cause. I have seen you work around the clock for families you do not even know. Giving your time, connections, and resources as if it was your own child.

NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.

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