Dear YWN readership,
I went shopping today in Brooklyn at Bingo, and parked in the Bingo parking lot using a handicapped parking spot with proper identification. I am multiply handicapped and the fact that in Bingo they have handicapped lines that are not dedicated to the handicapped, and that they do not pack for a handicapped person, even when asked, is the subject for another post.
As I was packing my car with my many purchases, a car pulled in to the handicapped spot next to mine. The couple got out without placing a handicapped placard in the windshield, and without handicapped plates. They were not elderly, nor did they appear to be infirm. I told them that they were using a handicapped parking spot. The woman responded with an “oh” – and it sounded like she was surprised. Her husband, however, said “so?” I responded that the next time I needed a spot and one was not available, it would be because someone that didn’t need it would have taken it. He reiterated, “so?” With that, they took a cart and exited the parking lot.
I should add that there were numerous spots available in the parking lot
It is disgusting that a Yid could be so selfish as to deny a person with a handicap an opportunity to park close to an entrance.
Imagine if someone not from our community witnessed such a thing? What a terrible chillul HaShem this would be.
People need to respect each other.
We teach that to our children with the hope that they will apply their lessons when out in the world. Obviously, some have chosen to ignore the basic foundation of respecting each other as well as the law. I hope that the people involved see this, or hear about it and recognize themselves. Perhaps they will be a little embarrassed. That would be a good thing.
Name withheld upon request.
YWN notes that according to Hagaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, if someone parks in a handicapped parking space and davens Shacharis, is “oiver” a “mitzvah ha’baah b’iaveira”.
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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48 Responses
Unfortunately there are many with that attitude and that way of thinking It’s me and nobody else that’s all they see
Welcome to Brooklyn
Stuck up people
Not everyone with peyos is fully shomer torah umitzvos. I think we all know that by now.
Poll: on a scale of 1-10 how bad is this assuming no one was actually waiting for that spot and being a Frum store
I do feel that once the handicapped lady said something they definitely should have moved
Why is anyone surprised? Just because a guy is dressed in Yeshivish lvush or a woman is wearing a sheitel and long sleeves, that doesn’t mean they will act with respect for either daas torah or conform to Dinah d’malchusah. We can all cite instances where goyim acted with greater respect to another yid than some of his/her fellow yidden. Likewise, would you be surprised of some reform yid who constantly invokes tikun olam drive an SUV or use chemical fertilizers on his lawn. Hypocrisy has sadly become pervasive in our tzibur going BOTH ways.
Here is what I leave on their windshield –
You are parked in a Handicap parking spot.
I hope that you never have to really need one.
Some people do.
It is illegal to park in a handicapped spot unless you have a handicap card or license plate. Those people were callous and uncaring, and deserve to be ticketed.
I figure that it is a mitzva habaah b’avera because when he is davening shacharis he is parked in a handicapped parking spot and thereby not allowing truely handicapped parking close to the store.
How She Was Treated By A Frum Couple That couple by definition was NOT frum, but are Frei creatures.
This letter should be removed. It ruins the narrative that all actions are caused by deep-seated Jew hatred, and that it’s Ossur to even think some of it may be caused by the way some Jews act.
First, I want to commend you for reaching out to the community on this important matter. A person should never park in a handicap spot if they are not handicapped – even for a moment.
That said, I want to encourage you to be dan l’chaf z’chus the couple in question. Not all disabilities are visible to outsiders. Some people have a handicapped placard because of the pain of walking, the possibility of falling down, severe fatigue, they have c@ncer, or any number of possible reasons. It would be wrong to assume that neither the husband nor the wife was disabled in any way. Their reactions to your questioning does not indicate anything regarding their health status, as most people would not divulge their personal health details to a stranger.
Regarding handicapped lines not being reserved for handicap people only, I assume it works like handicap bathroom stalls. Stores are obligated to provide handicap stalls in the bathrooms, but people with handicaps have a privilege and not a right to their use. Legally, these stalls are not exclusively for handicapped people only, unlike handicapped parking spaces which ARE reserved exclusively for handicapped individuals.
Neither is a store obligated to do a handicapped person’s shopping for them, although I would hope that anyone and everyone would be happy to help if asked.
I wish you all the best.
You are so right. Shame on them. Wish they would have more cops giving tickets to unauthorized cars in handicapped parking spots. You did the right thing.
Why is everyone here so quick to assume that neither the husband nor the wife is disabled?
Not every disability is visible to outsiders. A person undergoing treatment form yenem machla, for example, gets very tired quickly and can get a handicapped placard to minimize their walking.
You can’t look at a person and “know” whether or not they are handicapped, and neither are they obligated to tell you because you accuse them of faking it.
Didn’t you all learn to give the benefit of the doubt?
And what happened to judging thy fellow Jew favorably?
I’m sorry about your plight but puhleeeez enough of the bashing and hate.
P.s. you found a parking in boro (no) park. Now THATS newsworthy 😊
you should have taken down the plate number,and called police to have the car ticketed or towed away,if it would have been me in that situation,i would have waited for them to enter the store and proceeded to slash all four of their tires
Call the cops . It’s not mesira!
Just to make things clear…
1) not all disabilities may be visible, but if you need to use a handicapped spot, then you should have a permit or license plates that attest to the fact that you require it
2) even though no one may have been waiting for the spot at that particular moment, who knows if the next car entering the lot would have been denied the access they need
3) I am trying to point out that there is a legitimate reason that those spots have been designated. Many times, I have driven to a store that has a single handicapped spot which is occupied by a vehicle with no authorization to park there. With documentation, it is not difficult to secure the plates, placard, or permit. When it is a non-permanent or temporary situation you must renew with appropriate proof of an ongoing condition. If the spots weren’t meant to be used as intended, why are summons issued if police note that a vehicle is using a spot without authorization?
4) I agree that lines can not always be used exclusively for the handicapped customers because b”H there wouldn’t be enough work to keep a cashier working throughout a shift. That being said, when there are three non-handicapped people in front of you, don’t you think that the dedicated handicapped line should allow you to move forward, giving the others in the line the opportunity to change to another line? Of course, you would never ask the customer who already has her items on the counter to move. This might be annoying, but isn’t this what a true service to handicapped customers should be about?
B”H, relatively speaking, there aren’t all that many people who find themselves in situations where parking spots and placement in lines would make a major difference in their lives. But for the few that need it, the difference can be monumental.
Amazing
So there was a couple who acted in in not nice fashion (perhaps. We are only hearing one side of the story here.)
How and what does that have to do with their Jewishness????????
To all you posters reacting with negative comments against religious Jews or even just against this couple,
I ask you,
What is worse?
To park in an empty spot, designated as reserved for handicapped by some random government official,
Or to make nasty comments about אחינו בני ישראל
I’ll give you a hint,
One is probably a לאו
The other is borderline lack of middos
(and there were no handicapped spots by מתן תורה )
Will bet they were chassidish, those guys park in my driveway while taking care of errands in the neighborhood selfish people who think they own the world. Sorry but only have problems with people in “chassidish ” lavish. Maybe it’s just a coincidence.
Okay my mistake – I apologize! I thought they DID hang a handicapped placard in the car. I read the letter again and they did not. Shame on them for parking in the handicapped spot without authorization.
Think about this
Bingo is in boro park. Around the corner from 13th avenue.
The avenue is completely full of stores from 39th to 60 th and even beyond
There are about eight stores on a block
Doubled by the same block on the opposite side of the avenue
So 21 (blocks) times 16 stores (average per block) gives you 336 stores without a single handicapped spot available that I am aware of.
Yet somehow because bingo uses their property to give its customers parking, instead of enlarging their store, THEY must provide designated spots for someone who is handicapped, but still capable of navigating around a huge supermarket with groceries.
Interesting.
And somehow that becomes as if that spot is enshrined in halacha , to the extent that we call someone ”not religious ” for ignoring the sign.
But at the same time we find nothing wrong with denigrating whole segments of religious people.
How skewed are priorities of some people
YWN- Whatever happened was a chillul Hashem already – posting it online & multiplying it is wrong. It’s not news -it’s L”H or MS”R (we didn’t hear the other side)
please be careful what you post. Readers come here to see the news not to fall into an aveira trap.
Thank you
Comments, if the couple were truly in need of the handicapped space, their reaction wouldn’t have been “So?” It would have been, “Oops, let me put out my handicapped placard.” No need to divulge why they have one.
All u have to do is make sure they see u write down thier plate number or tell them your calling the cops and most likely they will move.
There is no reason to post this only to cause more hatred ????? Why
the extreme reactions in the above comments shed light on the vast differences culturally between neighborhoods . there is a concept of minhag hamakom meaning that when you choose to live in a neighborhood you are accepting on some level the ” culture” . the pluses & minuses of congestion… as a few examples ; i am thrilled to have 5 wedding halls within a 1/4 mile of where i live , & it means that i walk to mariv instead of driving … and the luxury of big supermarkets & being able to get diapers or razzles at 1am comes with some big trailers on the block – & the smoke of the matzah bakery, and kaporos,… & biur chometz on every corner i feel its well worth it so a handicapped spot in bingo … i give this woman credit who with her limitations is able to shlep out to bingo – I wouldnt take a HOUSE IN TOMS RIVER for FREE
I would have called 911 to have them come and write a very expensive ticket. And, please, I don’t want to hear the mesirah nonsense. There is no danger of the Czarist police sending them to Siberia, and too many people use mesirah to get away with bad behaviour.
Hold on a minute!
Let’s chill the emotions about the sympathy for nebech handicapped persons and step back to see the big picture:
Parking illegally. Parking in a place reserved for another.
Would the writer cry out when seeing someone parking at a hydrant – creating not merely an inconvenience but a potential danger (of blocking firetrucks access to the hydrant)?
Would the writer cry out when seeing someone – a non-customer, parking in a lot that is reserved for customers only?
These are EQUALLY illegal and inconsiderate (plus the latter is gezel/trespass on private property) but lack the emotionally charged nebech-factor. Yes, they are all wrong, but we do no more then tisk-tisk in disapproval of the latter.
That is the response deserved to parking in a handicapped spot or ANY other illegal parking: tisk-tisk.
So chill.
All of you people who are so callous to the realities of someone living with disabilities (Rabbetzin golden, klugeryid, and meir g), you are extremely insensitive to the sufferings of other people.
I truly hope you never become disabled, but try to think what it must be like to navigate the world from a wheelchair. Picture getting yourself into the chair, wheeling it to your car, getting yourself inside the car, and getting to a store, only to find the spot reserved for handicapped people occupied by a selfish able-bodied person who is too lazy to walk a few blocks, and too insensitive to think that a person in a wheelchair has a greater need. You make it sound like a bad thing that they “managed to get themselves to Bingo.” Are they supposed to sit home and starve? Or wait for someone like you to remember they exist and have pity and deliver them groceries?
The secular government has more compassion than you! The secular government understands that a disabled person struggles and is deserving of a few extra conveniences to help them, but you are less sensitive and do not agree. Wow.
Grow a heart!
When I see someone parking in a handicap spot without a permit I give them a brocho that they should be zoche to be able to use it it legally.
“Bunny76 December 16, 2019 8:24 am at 8:24 am
YWN- Whatever happened was a chillul Hashem already – posting it online & multiplying it is wrong. It’s not news -it’s L”H or MS”R (we didn’t hear the other side)
please be careful what you post. Readers come here to see the news not to fall into an aveira trap.”
Thank you so much for stealing my thunder. I am also frightened to give tochacha, but it seems that the cat is out of the bag already…I am just aghast at the idea fact a “frum” person would come on-line to say lashon hara against Kllal Yisroel. It is too easy to comment online anonymously. As noted above, not all disabilities are obvious. I am quite ill from immune disease, cancer, etc. I look just fine much of the time, although quite often, I am just holding on by the skin of my teeth from terrible chronic pain, etc. My dear wife had a prosthesis that enabled her to walk. You could not tell. People often yelled at her for using handicaped parking (although she rarely did excpet when pain was almost unbarable.” We must be careful of what we say about kllal Yisroel. Furthermore, after being called out for his misdeed, this fellow mostly likely promptly did teshuvah after he had time to comtemplate his actions…
Meir G: So if “minhag mamokom” is to block your neighbors’ driveways, leave trash on the street etc. that means if you move to such a neighborhood you must go along with those violations of law?? I’m sure the ehrliche yidden of Toms River are in a state of shock and depression that they will not have the good fortune of having you as a neighbor and bringing down their property values.
Really? Do you think it is easy going around and collecting the things I need when people are so inconsiderate of others? Have you ever had to negotiate around carts that people leave in the middle of an aisle while they are off looking at something? You never heard of moving your cart to the side? How about trying to reach things that are on high shelves when you are walking with two crutches and and people are blocking you? It takes me two or three times as long as most people to get my shopping done. Just because someone can get around the store does not mean it isn’t overly fatiguing, especially for someone with severe respiratory problems. Just because someone can get around a store doesn’t mean that they aren’t exerting so much effort that just getting into the car and driving home makes one want to cry. Just because someone can get around a store doesn’t mean that they aren’t suffering with each step. And it doesn’t mean they aren’t handicapped. The law says that if a store or other public facility has 25 parking spots, then they MUST have handicapped spots available. A store has no say in the matter. Physical handicaps are very difficult to deal with, but also very hard to understand unless you’ve been there. Don’t minimize the frustration that a handicapped person goes through when they drive through a parking lot with many handicapped spaces and all are taken with only a fraction having proper authorization to use those spots. I fail to understand how people can think that posting this as an informative way of letting people know they should be respectful of the needs of handicapped individuals is Jew bashing. I hope that none of you ever have to experience being dependent on others to do the right thing.
How about t
Trachtgeet: “Will bet they were chassidish, those guys park in my driveway while taking care of errands in the neighborhood selfish people who think they own the world.” Yep, those “selfish” chassidish guys are the guys you call for Chaverim, and many in Hatzolah wear the “chassidish ” lavish, and stock the food pantries at bikor cholim in hospitals, but all that means nothing if your driveway is blocked! Your sina to these Jewish heroes blocks your vision from seeing anything besides problem from them. If such words were said by a goy, we would call it antisemitism.
Godolhad: must go along..” mimic weak behaviors who advocated for that pls reread my post
Let me start by saying that unfortunately I have more that one person with special needs in my life. One of whom has a legal handicapped placard. So I am well aware of the challenges.
But emotional responses are not really getting to the Crux of the issue.
Again I ask you, were bingo to build out their parking lot and make their store bigger, there would be no handicapped parking spot. Yet none of the law championing posters here would have any issue with the lack of handicapped parking, because the law doesn’t require it.
That makes sense??
Do the handicapped need that extra help?
Then the law should say any store that meets certain guidelines must make sure to have handicapped parking available whether they offer general parking or not.
Let every fifth spot on
Coney Island,
Avenue j
Avenue m
Kings highway
Thirteenth avenue
Etc….
Be for handicapped.
Don’t they need it?
As a matter of fact, wouldn’t it make more sense to demand a handicapped spot in front of your corner grocery so the handicapped person can do their shopping in a smaller store and will not need to exert themselves so much navigating a huge store.
And maybe explain something else to me once you are at it.
Hypothetically,
I have a house full of small children, many of whom are home with a virus.
I run out to get some nourishing food for them but there is only one spot left in the lot.
It’s a handicapped spot.
So now I need to go home without getting my sick kids food because MAYBE a handicapped person will show up and use that spot.
That makes sense?
What is the solution?
I really don’t know.
Would I park in a handicapped spot? No.
But let’s not pretend that it’s such a simple sensible thing.
To call someone a ”non religious ” key because they don’t pay homage to an anonymous civil servants random decision, is truly to not understand anything about Judaism.
Unfortunately I don’t really expect any of the excitable emotional posters to even bother to try to answer but maybe someone else can
klugeryid, laws are not “an anonymous civil servants [sic] random decision,” but are rules we collectively agree to follow unless the law is evil and oppressive. We are required by the Torah to obey the laws of the land we live in as long as the laws are not evil. Asking able-bodied individuals to reserve parking spaces for the disabled is the opposite of evil. So according to the Torah you ARE obligated to obey this law.
If everyone did as you, picking and choosing which laws they personally like to obey versus which ones they personally do not like, creates a lawless society (…Boro Park?). Sometimes in life we have to go out of our way and be inconvenienced to do the right thing. Is that hard for you? Do you lack self control?
P.S. If you wait a few mintes, someone will leave and you can park legally.
For your further knowledge, I have spoken with the mayor’s office on the handicapped over the years regarding on street handicapped spots. Most big cities, ie Philadelphia, Washington,DC, Boston, etc, do have on street handicapped spots. I was told that New York has too many cars. I invite you to educate yourself about handicapped parking spots and how they are determined in New York City, and read about the penalties for abusing the system. https://dmv.ny.gov/more-info/parking-people-disabilities
Comments,
To paraphrase you, is reading comprehension hard for you? Do you lack those basic skills?
If everyone did as you did and picked and chose which parts of someone else’s comments they would make believe didn’t exist where you’re that leave discourse? (yeshiva world coffee room maybe?)
I wrote
‘I personally would not park in a designated handicap spot ‘
How is that picking which laws not to follow?
I phrased it as arbitrary anonymous to contrast it to halacha. Which is given by the creator and contains infinite truth and depth.
Does דינא דמלכותא really always apply?
I don’t know. If they passed a law that everyone needs to wear a green tie on Tuesday’s, would you be required to listen?
I don’t think so.
I presented a case showing how the law is senseless (how does a handicapped persons needs change based on the amount of real estate a store allots to parking? )
Your response, shorn of all animus and disparagement , is non existent.
Answer to the substance of what I’m saying, namely
Why is there no handicapped spots on major shopping avenues?
Wouldn’t the handicapped be better served by facilitating ease of their shopping in small stores?
Why should I have to sit in my car waiting for parking, longer than my whole shopping trip would take, while staring at an empty two or three spots, held open because maybe a handicapped person will show up???
How come this bingo shopper is able to navigate the whole bingo store, with groceries, but can’t navigate an extra ten feet in the parking lot??
(yes I saw the response of one poster here, that every step is tremendous effort. Sounds weird to me. If it’s really so much effort go shop in mega 13 around the corner. It’s way smaller. So much less walking = effort You can get access a ride there and back for free.
But you want to shop in bingo for whatever reason you choose. כל הכבוד but don’t make it out as if someone using the handicapped spot is preventing you from getting your groceries
I will just say one more thing. A very big reason for handicap spaces is that many disabled people need space on the side of their vehicle for the wheelchair to roll out. That is why there is extra space on the side of each handicap spot with stripes.
“Neither is a store obligated to do a handicapped person’s shopping for them” Well said!
“Call the cops . It’s not mesira!” Would you be so kind as to explain how you got to this Halachik conclusion?
Tzippy,
I’m not being insensitive to your challenges but really I’m befuddled here.
If it’s really such a struggle each step, why are you shopping at bingo?
Wouldn’t it make more sense to shop in one of the many small stores? Go to rosners, they are much smaller, have a great selection and decent prices.
But to go to bingo where you need to walk a mile at least by the time you are done shopping, and then to complain that you needed to park twenty feet further from the door of the store, sounds to me like plain old lazy. But you figure the law allows you the spot, might as well use it.
I live n Flatbush. I go to Bingo four or five times a year because they DO have a parking lot and their prices on certain items are well below what I have to pay locally. I stock up. I am an almana and friends often offer, but I don’t like to be dependent on others. I value every day that I can walk out my front door and accomplish something on my own.. I am not complaining. I like being able to do for myself to the extent that I can. I know the day will soon come when I can’t. I drag myself around Bingo knowing that I am saving a substantial amount of money and try to ignore what it takes out of me. Those handicapped spaces mean the world to me, and it really ticks me off when people who are not entitled to the spot show absolutely no concern for others and hog it for themselves. If someone is legitimately entitled then regardless of what the handicap is, he should park there. I do not think that you have any idea how difficult being handicapped is, and I hope you never have to know. I would use my wheelchair when I go, but I don’t have anyone to push me around and load my cart. Yet, I am happy to say, that when I get home, even if I have to go to bed with my ventilator for two or three hours, every step is worth it because it makes me feel whole. People like you will never understand how that twenty feet, as you say, makes such a huge difference. Let me assure you, it does.