Shlomo HaMelech tells us in Koheles (7:2), “Tov laleches el bais aivel mileches el bais mishteh.. v’hachai yiten al libo.”
Two things of enormous consequence have happened this week. Reb Shalom Mordechai Rubashkin, after nine long years, has been released. There is euphoria in the streets, and justifiably so. A nais has happened. There is also a mi ka’amcha yisroel element to it all. Usually, only brothers and sisters celebrate. The celebrations throughout Brooklyn, Monsey and many other areas show the unity of Klal Yisroel.
But there was a second event that happened this week, just a mile or two from where Shalom Rubashkin’s parents live. A terrible tragedy, where a thirty-nine-year old mother, and three of her precious children – an eleven year old, a seven year old, and a three year old girl – rachmana litzlan passed away in a tragic fire. There were three other children and the father. The father tried to save as many as he could, but he could not save them all. The father and two children remain on life support.
Normally, when such tragedy happens within our midst, we take it as a sign toward introspection. This has been our tradition since time immemorial. What is happening, perhaps, is that we are allowing our euphoria over the modern nais to set aside what we generally do when tragedy strikes.
The Seforno explains that the shvatim – when they saw that they were facing extremely difficult circumstances they searched themselves for what could possibly have caused them this punishment. They ended up attributing it to the fact that they were heartless in ignoring the pleas of Yoseph – their brother. They did not make the final step of admitting that they erred in the decision itself, but rather in their feelings of apathy after they had made the decision.
This was a pattern of the Jewish people since that time – to see tragedy and difficulties as a sign for Teshuvah.
Where are all the Kinos? Where are the gatherings and the Rabbis speaking exhorting us to this close-to-home tragedy and make changes within ourselves?
Is it because we cannot do both at the same time? Are the Kinos visibly absent because it is hard or near impossible for a person to have opposite emotions simultaneously? If this is the thinking, then this is probably wrong.
In Yeshiva, an older Rebbe told us of a time when there was both a funeral and a wedding the same day in the Yeshiva of Slabodka. The Alter of Slabodka spoke to the Yeshivaleit at this time and said that Hashem gave man incredible abilities to both rejoice and to be sad on the same day.
The statement of Shlomo HaMelech above tells us that we can gain more from the tragedy than the simcha. So, please – shtadlanim, arrange a Tehillim session. Rabbonim, we need your guidance – now more than ever before.
Thank you,
Rafoel Ben Tzvi
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42 Responses
And don’t forget Harav Shteinman Zt”l
Dear Rafoel Ben Tzvi,
Shlomo Hamelech does NOT tell us “that we can gain more from the tragedy than the simcha”.
He tells us that it is better to go… Tov laleches.
‘Better’ and ‘gaining more” are not the same.
They are also not mutually exclusive either. So if you havea raya then please bring it.
While nobody would ever, chas veshaom, belittle the tragedy of the Azzan family, for most people this was the first that they heard of them.
Sholom Mordcha Rubashkin became a household name in Frum circles and this simcha was very personal for most, as they were somehow involved in the saga for the past decade – from the time he was first arrested.
The personal simcha of each individual that Hashem has been shomea kol amo yisroel berachamim and released SMR is a much more personal simcha.
Let’s not find reasons to be farbissen and critical.
this the metzios. a person has a easier time feelings someone elses simcha than pain.
Sorry but this is an unfair comparison. These two events are NOT mutually exclusive! In other words, the people that danced with The Rubashkin Nais also shared the pain and grief of the terrible loss in Flatbush a few days earlier.
(Although there is a lot to discuss in general on this, like how can one enjoy Chanuka after the fire? (Indeed many couldn’t, but is it correct?) Or if someone married yesterday, can he be happy? Can the guests dance? )
But the Rubashkin Nais is different! This issue has touched klal yisroel for many many years, and we all felt connected. We all davened and donated and…. nothing positive happened. Or so it seemed. We were all encouraged by the Rubashkin resilience and beetochon, but bottom line…27 years? And so many sad news stories, especially the fire – some wondered if Hashem is really upset with us c”v.
Then – outta nowhere – it happened!! On Chanuka! The JOY WAS SPONTANEOUS! Anoshim, Noshim, veTaf! All age groups jumped for joy – automatically – . The brain didn’t have to tell the heart “simcha! dance!”. The hearts of klal yisroel erupted with joy. Like ONE HUGE HEART. This ruchnious phenomenon might be explained by Gedoile Yisroel as to why with Rubashkin. Maybe he has a neshomo keloli. Maybe Hashem saw our pain with the fire and injected us with a dose of real hope and anticipation for Moshiach. -Kinderlach- any moment now – hang in there.
A gut Shabbos!
Maybe your commentator “shimen” in his “infinite wisdom” can explain all this away and maybe shimen can also explain why he wasnt so passionate when Jonathan Pollard for example was released.?
I am not sure how many you want but check out Page 25 of the FJJ announcing an asifa on Sunday night at 8:00 PM in Rabbi Bergman’s shul, 2701 Avenue N.
For one of the most powerful divrei hisoreirus, check out the video of the grandmother, Mrs. Azan, at the levaya. Even if you don’t know ivrit you will understand her message.
A thought I heard expressed was that this was Hashems nechama to His nation”I still love you”
Another thing ,celebrating was done in public but we are all mourning and davening in private…
As a person who was there with the Azan family, I ask….
Maybe Hashem saw that it was too bitter of a pill to swallow, so he gave us a simcha to lessen the pain.
Maybe we ”got used to” tragedies…
Maybe not that many were invested in to the Azan Family, as they were crying for Rubashkins the last ten years….
Think before you talk negatively about klal Yisrael
As quoted we can switch emotions. That’s exactly what happened.
We mourned a very very sad situation that befell a beautiful family. We did not forget them. People express sadness differently in public (it’s hard to cry in public).
Scroll down a few articles, there will be a kinnus.
The happiness of the release was only celebrated publicaly less then 24 hours.
Please don’t dampen the actual simcha and as quoted keep it two seperate events.
The title of this article is shameful. It is shameful.
Wow. I was so surprised to see this as I’ve also been thinking about klal Yisroel’s reactions to these 2 major events and my own reflection upon looking at the exact same thing is exactly the opposite of yours.
I do not know the Azans at all but I cried as I read the news, looked at the pictures, watched the clips of the hespeidim, and read each update. I keep coming back to yeshiva world hoping there is a positive update on the conditions of the remaining family members. They might not be part of my “community” but they are my brothers and sisters. I cannot speak for the rabbonim and your proposed ideas do seem beautiful.
However, let us not forget about what bought about the destruction of the bais hamikdash. It wasn’t lack of tehilim and assifas organized by rabbanim….
2 days later we heard about Shalom Mordchai rubashkin. How klal yisroel rejoiced! Every stripe and color! The simcha was palpable! And the unity??!! I have never seen something more beautiful or been more proud to belong to klal yisroel! We all know shalom Mordchai from the news. But that’s it! I never met him or heard his name before. He’s not from my community either. Yet he is my brother and all his family are my siblings! My first reaction was “thank you HAshem!! We so badly needed something like this to happen this week!!”
And then, a few hours later, I broke down and cried. It was the same flood of happy/ sad/confused emotions I felt when I lost my 10 year old sister a few days after I found out I was having a baby after years of infertility………..
Yes we can feel both happy and sad and one does not compensate for or mitigate the other.
There is nothing at all wrong with klal yisroel rejoicing with the rubashkins.
THIS is precisely what HAshem wants! We all carry the Azan’s pain in our hearts and perhaps just perhaps Hahsem was giving us a perfect opportunity to show him we are ready! The kabalas panim we gave Rubashkin and the unity displayed surely can’t compare to the kabalas panim we will give mashiach when he arrives. But watching this all unfold sure has fired up my imagination! Is this a tiny little glimpse of what it may feel and look like?!
Let’s just say that today I recited ani Mamin with more desperation bearing in mind the Azan’s, more excitement recalling rubashkins kabalas panim and a LOT more hope!
There is kinnos scheduled in Shaare Zion 2030 Ocean Parkway this coming Sunday from 9 am -12 pm. Tehillim, Selichos, half day Taanis and Divre Chizuk at 11:45 from Harav Shlomo Diamond.
Everyone has been crying, but tshuva and introspection are not done in the street. Dancing is.
One lesson that we could learn from this is how a Yid could go from sadness and pain to happiness and rejoicing in an instant. How we could not always be stuck in sorrow. If this was the level of rejoicing that we had seen by Rubashkin, then when the ultimate geulah will come and we go m’yagon l’simcha k’heref ayin, how much more so will our rejoicing be.
@shlepper – you mean to that the people who mourned the tragedy also shared in the simcha of rubashkin, but those who mainly celebrated the release of rubashkin didnt necessarily mourn the tragedy? That makes more sense.
I don’t like the tone of this article AT ALL.
This is not a fair comparison.
It doesn’t have to be public when we mourn such a terrible loss. How many people (including myself) have since the unspeakable tragedy have the names of the father and injured children in Refaeinu. Yes we have all been davening for Reb Shalom..but it was a tragedy on a different level. B’H Reb Shalom (Ad meah v’esrim shana) is chay v’kayom. All the time he was unfairly in prison, it was possible that yeshuas hashem keheref eiyan…which is exactly what ended up happening. For those for whom the final gezar din was given…it is beyond what we can do here…but we still daven for those who may hashem allow to be saved with a refuah shleima.
Don’t misjudge good yiden
This op-ed borders on the blasphemous. No one can possibly know the thoughts and feelings of another. The accusation against Klal Yisroel cannot be said unless someone has Ruach Hakodesh. That is highly unlikely for someone posting an opinion via internet.
Next – In the derech of the Torah, we find that simcha is celebrated with flair and publicity. We dance in the streets, as Dovid Hamelech did. Celebrations are to be observed with publicity. No so with mourning. Levayas are public affairs, and they need to be publicized appropriately. But the aveilim sit indoors, and are not even permitted to sit outdoors. There is a “beis aveil”. The Muslims make outdoors tents to bring their aveilus to the streets. Not Klal Yisroel. With that established, the feelings in people’s hearts regarding the Azan tragedy cannot be assessed as they are not known. The absence of additional publicity does not indicate anything that allows for comparison or contrast.
Lastly, I would recommend the author of this piece do a bit of introspection. There is a serious internal cheshbon that is warranted here. Dear author – can you not fargin that people are rejoicing? Why? Are you perhaps depressed about something, and cannot even swallow that another Yid is happy? These questions sound a bit clinical, and maybe they are. But I will tell you something that all the sifrei mussar highlight, and is found in Divrei Chazal countless times. The simcha we experience (either simcha shel mitzvah or simcha with others) contributes greatly to the cumulative zechusim of Klal Yisroel. Aveilus of the individual, while a halacha, and certainly a mitzvah for the aveilim and the menachamim, does not carry the same weight. No one is belittling the tragedy. That it is not all over the streets is because tragedies do not need to dwell n the streets. Simcha does. Yes, every tragedy needs to lead to tikunim in Klal Yisroel. Rav Shteinman ZT”L responded to a terror tragedy a few years ago noting that everyone needs to self-examine for an area that requires improvement, and that the general pronouncements (lately about technology, tznius, etc.) are not warranted. I would not be excited to hear anyone tell me what tikunim are needed. I need to find my own, as does everyone else.
שבע יפול צדיק וקם. No matter how many times a tzaddik falls, he gets up. You belong dancing with the rest of us.
The silent majority cares more about the Azan family than Rubashkin.
Sure you can celebrate big with drinking & dancing etc… & be very happy for the release of SMR but then if C”V Tragedy ever strikes (may it never) YOU need to be in grief at the same high level & feel the pain of the Azan family & many other families (7 innocent children niftar R”L this past week since Harav Shteinman was niftar) who are crying in pain over their tragic loss of precious loving children or many other kinds of tragedies etc….
the 7 death in less then ONE WEEK R”L include
1)boy-of Beit Shemesh Israel-fell out from a 4th floor window & died-December 17 2017-4
2)Esther Malka Friedman-daughter of Nechemia Dov of Lakewood-fell ill Suddenly & passed out-December 17 2017-4
3)Moshe Azan-Son of Yosef of Flatbush-Burnt with mother in House fire on Chanukah-December 18 2017-11
4)Yitzchok Azan-Son of Yosef of Flatbush-Burnt with mother in House fire on Chanukah-December 18 2017-7
5)Henrietta Azan-Daughter of Yosef of Flatbush-Burnt with mother in House fire on Chanukah-December 18 2017-3
6)Boruch Dov Edelman-son of Chaim Zev of Lakewood-Passed away suddenly at home-December 19 2017-4
7)girl-of Beit Shemesh Israel-suffered injury when table fell on her in carriage at event-December 20 2017-6 weeks old
SO ARE YOU TREATING HAPPY & SAD EVENTS AT THE SAME LEVEL? if you can honestly say yes then you can party & celebrate at this high level.
May we allwake up & FACE REALITY to do Teshuva ASAP so the tzaros in klal yisroel can come to a halt & Mashiach can finally come.
i’m very happy for SMR but not partying & drinking like crazy
We should 100% remember and do everything in our power to beg Hashem to heal the Azans, and the appropriate thing to do is cry, daven, tehillim, hachlotos tovos etc.
At the same time there is a huge hashgacha protis here. It says “Simcha poretz geder” (joy breaks all boundaries), and there are many stories of nissim that happened as a result of simcha. (I personally have a relative who was critically ill… Family told by the Rebbe to make a seuda and be b’dingbat amidst their pain… They did and had unbelievable miracles b”h…)
Obviously it would be completely inappropriate to be happy after hearing such a tragedy. But perhaps we were given this huge opportunity to have simcha and unparalleled ahavas yisroel in the Azan’s zechus! Let’s not limited our joy and unity SMR brought out, instead let us scream out to Hashem, “Look at the incredible achdus and simcha your children are displaying. In this zechus give a complete healing -both physically and emotionally to the Azan family. Let these zechusim be channelled to them, and all yidden needing a refuah!
Hashem, look how much unity and simcha, all types of yidden have displayed with the release of SMR!!!
Hashem, we have proven we don’t need tragedies to unite us, yeshuos can accomplish even more!!
Hashem, heal the Azans!!! Imagine what joy that will bring to klal yisroel! We will take to the streets and dance ten-fold!
Hashem, heal all the sick yidden, and give a yeshua to all those who need it! We have proven we are one. We are ready. All of us yidden, whether modern or yeshivish, satmar or lubavitch, chassidish, litvish -Hashem we are ready for the geula now!!!!!!!!
Neville ChaimBerlin
December 22, 2017 2:51 pm at 2:51 pm
The silent majority cares more about the Azan family than Rubashkin
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You hit the nail on the head..
The blind rubashkin sheeple are just too blind to notice that.
I think many people davened and are still davening for tha azan family and incredibly klal yisroel has raized almost half of million in 2 days for them! Mi kiamcha Yisroel! Maybe for this reason hashem made this miracle of rabashkin.
RUBASHKIN IS NO HERO!
WHAT THE GEHENOM IS WRONG WITH ALL YOU YIDDEN???
Without being callous to the Brookyn tragedy, it would behoove the oilam to take what mussar we can safely discuss. There is a dangerous attitude of ignoring deredh hateva. If you live in an old wooden house be very careful with shabbos and chanuka lict. This is not the first time there are horrific results from lack of awareness. If one must be mehadrin to the limit, let it be in smoke detectors.
Trust me. Kal yisroel go to a lot more Shiva homes and saw tehillim for cholim then what you saw celebrating with Rubashkin.
And mind you, many more people were davening for his release from jail and writting/calling the white house then you think.
there are unfortunately so many tragedies. it weighs on our hearts, — the headlines every day seem to be filled with them.
our neshamas so badly need simcha…
I find it difficult to believe that the same depth of feeling wasn’t experienced in both situations. I personally couldn’t bear to watch the savta’s speech at the levaya, or look at one more photo of the deceased and injured, because it was too painful. Does that mean I don’t care or mourn, or say Tehillim for the survivors? Because I was jumping for joy at the Rubashkin case, that means I am thoughtless or insensitive?
The writer is comparing apples & oranges. What’s more, you really don’t know what is in people’s hearts.
Terrible comparison.
We are living in a bitter galus. We have become numb to tzaros because they are everywhere. Older singles,sholom bayis, parnassah,cholei haguf vihanefesh, Children OTD, etc. We simply find it harder to be moved by more tzaros.
The freeing of Rubashkin is an unexpected chessed Hashem in this
difficult time for all of us. It gives us hope for the ultimate geulah when we will all be freed from this long galus.
There was a kinos for the community on Thursday night. You can listen to it on learntorah.com
5 big Rabbis spoke and at the end there was a video of the mother’s father, Rabbi Hamra speaking.
BE”H Klal Yisrael should see mashiach speedily
I read a comment here that evokes a severe reaction. I copy and paste it here:
chareidi amiti December 23, 2017 10:50 am at 10:50 am
RUBASHKIN IS NO HERO!
WHAT THE GEHENOM IS WRONG WITH ALL YOU YIDDEN???
Firstly, this was written on 12/23 at 10:50 am. In America it was Shabbos. If this commenter is in America, this suggests chilul Shabbos. That would explain the disgusting attitude reflected in the comment.
No one here ever proclaimed that SMR was not guilty of any crime. But he did spend the 8 years in prison being a maamin in Hashem, utilizing his time to learn, write, and give others chizuk in emunah and bitachon. This commenter prefers to deny the positive about another Yid. Or is Mr. Chareidi so stuck on the negative that he can’t see anything else? I really feel bad for you, sir. SMR packed in 8 years of caring for Klal Yisroel. How many people have gotten chizuk from you during that time?
Mods: Comments like chareidi amiti should be blocked. He is entitled to his opinion. But this is over the top. If he wishes to be against Klal Yisroel, there are many other locations in cyberspace that will welcome him.
Shlepper,
Ditto. Thanks
You should have more of an ayin tov. Thousands have donated to the azan family. https://www.gofundme.com/official-azan-family-fire-fund
The target amount has been raised from 500k to 750k.
Hashem should send the surviving family members a refuah shleimah.
Many of us are still in shock. Should we all go out and walk around in sackcloths. We are mourning the loss of these very special people in our homescand in our shuls.
There are several threads about SMR where a very small number of posts have raised the question of SMR being treated as some type of “hero” and citing the many political leaders from all ends of the spectrum supporting his release. However, as a few have noted, this support was based on an excessive sentence relative to the crimes for which he was convicted. Very few believe this was a totally innocent man being jailed simply because he was a frum yid. However, the refusal of the appeals courts to remand the sentencing decision to a new judge is troubling.
Yasher Koach, to Gadolhadorah & The Little I Know.
I guess being mechalel Shabbos is OK, but supporting the release of a Yid from a ridiculously excessive sentence isn’t.
As I have said publicly…. no one really disputes the conviction, since being ignorant of the law is not an excuse. It was the SENTENCE that sent us all into overdrive. I worked on his campaign in the early days, & I have been saying daily Tehillim for him for close to 10 years. So have millions of others around the world. To us, he IS a hero…. not because he did something illegal & “got away with it because of pressure”, but because he used his experiences to empower others, & never lost his Emunah. A Chassidishe Yid locked up with hardened, violent criminals, yet his decency inspired others.
But you guys just don’t get it. You never will.
we dont understand what exactly this OP-ED wants…
should thousands yidden come out on street and…?
Money..throw mony into street so katan hador, chareidi sheker
&Co can count it??
Rejoicing for Rubashkin does not diminish the extreme pain of the Azan family and the pain Klal Yisroel feels for them. There has been an outpouring of help to the family and we daven for their swift and complete recovery. Rubashkin’s saga has been a unifying force for Klal Yisroel. We have davened and rallied for his freedom across the board! Seeing the Yeshua is very Mechazek the Tzibbur and there is no question that we are euphoric about it. While it might have been prudent to keep the celebrations low-key because we are surrounded by Shivim Zeevim, if anything, the tangible results of our fervent Tefillos will spur us to daven harder for the welfare of the Azan family, may H-shem send them a Nechoma.
GARTEL says:
Many of us are still in shock. Should we all go out and walk around in sackcloths. We are mourning the loss of these very special people in our homescand in our shuls.
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Absolutely you should go woth sack cloth. If satmar and co can go into manattan wearing sack cloth demonstrating e. Yisroel and comparing e yisroel to yhe nazis then surly u should be wearibg sack cloth when almost an entire family + has died from a tragic fire.
דוחין את המת מפני הכלה
Milhouse
December 24, 2017 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm
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Firstly no one is discussing being דוחה anyone or anything. Also, last i check there is no choson or kallah here. Also why pray tell did z Brenner have sm’s brother in law, the head of bais yakov miltin balkany speak when we all know that he spent time in the big house for his own shenanigans?
takes2-2tango gadol hador
which yidden do you identyfy with? so we cAN UNDERSTand your religious beliefs
we identyfy with all 4 part shulchen urech believers
It is very disheartening to read this Op Ed. If this person would know Yosi Azan then they would surely know that he is someone who always had a huge Eyin Tov and always did everything with Ahava. Yosi would not be pleased with this Op Ed piece at all. It goes against his way of talking and behaving. He always found great joy in the good of Yidden. He always looked for the best in people and was not ‘Hokking’ bad מחשבות. For this reason alone, stop this type of talking and just say Tehillim and do Maasim Tovim for the Zechus of Yosi Azan and his children to have a Refuah Sheleima B’mharah.