(Click HERE for photos) On Monday night, Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski spoke together with Rabbi Meyer Yedid at the Bnei Yitzhak shul in Flatbush on the dangers of winter break – how it affects parents and students alike – in a program run by the SAFE foundation, which helps people with drug, alcohol, and gambling problems. They have a 24 hour confidential hotline: 1-866-569-SAFE
[Photos Credits: Yehuda Boltshauser]
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43 Responses
For a normal & emotionally healthy family, “NO BREAK” is even worse.
Maybe we should leave our kids in school all year, from morning until night? Let’s see how many burnt out kids we can make. It will surely bring Rabbi Twerski alot of business.
sayitlikeitis—-admit it, there is danger and any “normal & emotionally healthy family” can fall in to that danger, so have your break but be careful.
Everyone needs a break!!!
There’s bnothing inherently wrong with a bein hazmanim break that is constructively set up and utilized by talmidim. Local shuls should have a (late) shacharis (9 am??) followed by an hour or two of learning b’chavrusa followed by a small shiur by a local rav. Then, the parents of these children need to set up something for the kids to do in the afternoon, perhaps with the parents rotating taking off a day of work to serve as chaperones?
It’s not the break that is the problem, it’s how it is being utilized. Beni hazmanim is not supposed to be hefkeiros, just a break from the routine.
its nice to hear so many know it alls. How much experience have you had regarding kids going home for a break with ero structure and lots of opportunity to undo any accomplishments from their couple of months in yeshive. anyone ever hear the story of rabbi akiva who after a 12 year absence did not even stop in to say hello to his wife so as not to interrupt the momentum of his learning. today 3 seconds of no interuption probably qualifies you to be the next gadol
I don’t remember as a child having winter break.
# 1 You write For a normal & emotionally healthy family, “NO BREAK” is even worse.” WHY??? WHY???
If the family is normal than the child shouldn’t feel stressed out and shouldn’t need a break!!!
What were the particular dangers discussed, for those of us that missed the discussion.
Ofcourse, everything in life has a potential for success or failure, safety or danger,,,,,,now the newest ruling will be: Those who partake of ‘Winter Break” are engaging in dangerous behavior…
Wow did all of you miss the boat on this one. They’re talking about the dangers of letting your kids run wild and do whatever they want during winter break. I know what goes on because I’ve been there. Any parent who lets their child go down to florida during winter break and thinks that nothing is going on is in denial.
I would like to praise the DRS high school and especially R’ Willig who brings their students to Israel on a school trip during winter break. And R’ Willig’s talmidim sit and learn in the Mir for a week and a half. I think more schools should start doing things like this. And don’t say that the kids won’t want to come, because only one school has tried it and a good percentage of the kids take part.
But no one is saying that there shouldn’t be winter break, just that parents should know what goes on during this period.
I never had any breaks other than Yom Tov way back in Yeshiva and there were no “at-risk” situations. This constant coddling of our kids are going to turn them into lazy people.
I think that it’s the teachers that need the vacation and the principals are too overwhelmed to find substitutes for them, so they close shop for a few days. How convenient for them.
This society has really become meshugeh!!
I THINK IT WAS FOCUSED ON LETTING KIDS GO HEFGER FILLING UP TIME DURING THE BREAK SHIPPING THEM OFF TO FLORIDA OR EVEN JUST ROAMING ALONE IN NYC. KIDS AND TEACHERS NEED A BREAK VERY BADLY AT THIS POINT IN THE YEAR, BUT THAE DAYS SHOULD BE FILLED SMARTLY
Might R’ Twerski have been addressing the winter breaks not taken as family, where children travel on their own, or possibly excessive vacations that leave people spent, not refreshed? I wasn’t there so I don’t know.
Rabbi T – hes right. Its a polite way of saying Christmas vacation.
So we are smarter than the Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva who don’t understand the modern world. And now we are smarter than the professionals who deal daily with that modern world.
Web sites are being forced (not only by Torah observant families) to become more safe and secure. Public schools are banning cell phones and encouraging self-bans on TV. And we are smarter than they are as well.
Who are the shofteinu and yo’atzeinu we ask for three times a day?
The American school system, it is well known, “enjoys” one of the shortest school years, if not THE shortest, of all countries where education is mandated. Is this the system we want to emulate?
Among other ways, we are different than the nations of the world in the way we tell (and appreciate) time. See for example the Ramban to Parshas HaChodesh or the Maharal to Perek 4 Mishnah 3 in Pirkei Avos. We already have two week-long breaks in Tishrei, month-long breaks in Nissan, and two month-long breaks in the summer. We, as Jews, value time.
The mitzvah of kiddush haChodesh teaches us we control time. Are we using this gift appropriately? Are we teaching our children the value of time?
My computer froze, and I could not tell if the comment was transmitted. Sorry for any bother if this is an unnecessary repeat.
So we are smarter than the Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva who don’t understand the modern world. And now we are smarter than the professionals who deal daily with that modern world.
Web sites are being forced (not only by Torah observant families) to become more safe and secure. Public schools are banning cell phones and encouraging self-bans on TV. And we are smarter than they are as well.
Who are the shofteinu and yo’atzeinu we ask for three times a day?
The American school system, it is well known, “enjoys” one of the shortest school years, if not THE shortest, of all countries where education is mandated. Is this the system we want to emulate?
Among other ways, we are different than the nations of the world in the way we tell (and appreciate) time. See for example the Ramban to Parshas HaChodesh or the Maharal to Perek 4 Mishnah 3 in Pirkei Avos. We already have two week-long breaks in Tishrei, month-long breaks in Nissan, and two month-long breaks in the summer. We, as Jews, value time.
The mitzvah of kiddush haChodesh teaches us we control time. Are we using this gift appropriately?
“HabaToloh MayVeeAh LeyeDai SheAMum.”–Idleness brings mental disease!–Talmud KeSubos
I did not attend the speech, but I as I understand it, the term “Winter Break” refers specifically to the equivalent of the goyishe “Spring Break”. It unfortunately often involves unsupervised kids going to Florida, etc. alone or in groups where they hang out at hotels, pools, & the beach, with all that comes along.
IMHO, It does NOT refer to giving the kids a break from school work, per se, rather to what the kids do when the break is long and parents let the kids be on their own in risky environments.
I suppose everything depends on appropriate family activities, proper supervision, just like we expect during the rest of the year. However, I don’t understand the personality changes some otherwise responsible parents have during Winter Break when they let their teens go to Florida, supposedly to Bubby & Zaide, with friends.
Often, grandparents have no clue & no control over these kids. That’s when the trouble starts. I’m sure this was the point Rabbi Twersky was trying to make.
I agree that people shouldn’t have breaks we were brought to this world to do AVADOS HASHEM not to take breaks. After a 120 years everyone will get a long break.
It is not the break that is dangerous.Vacations are not dangerous per se. Bad choices are made even when not on break. On the other hand, vacations, like shabbos and yom tov, allow families to be together and bond. This is vital in preventing children from going off the derech.
Also, a rest allows better studying during the regular school year. That is why businesses allow vacations and coffee breaks. A rested worker (student) is a better worker (student).
why dont we cancel recess while we are at it?
My Rebb said that vacation is VAKAISH NUN – the nun sharrai of tuma
#6 englishteacher
You talk about know it alls, It is people like you that feel you have a mitzva to put pressure on kids to just learn learn learn…… until they pop, and then people like me come in to help them just so they stay frum. If you make them learn when it is time to play… They will play when it is time to learn.
Dont get me wrong, Sending ANYONE to Florida unsupervised is a Major Danger.
Perhaps YW could write an article clarifying exactly what was discussed at the forum. The comments appear to be based on speculation.
Do the boys have winter break too? My boys don’t.
And the girls have a long weekend like till Tuesday. Enough to have a break but not long enough to be hefker or go on expensive vacations.
That is the way it should be.
This seems to have touched a raw nerve.
We all agree that everyone needs a break once in a while. And kids certainly do.
But, I think the final say should go the yeshivos. Let the Hanhola decide for their own yeshiva. They know all the maalos & chisronos that everyone is saying. Let them decide.
#20, …and you doven/learn/do chesed/work 6 days a week with minimal time for sleeping and eating EVERY-WEEK and on Shabbos/YomTov you doven/eat and spend the rest of the time learning round the clock with minimal time for sleep? after all breaks aren’t needed until 120 or longer.
kids (yes we are dealing with kids and not esquires) need a break – the question is, what WE do with THEIR time off.
As a high school student, i am fully aware of the dangers that vacations pose to a yeshiva bocher. However,
1) whether you like it or not, breaks are neccessary for students, especially ones with the long school days (13+) hours that we need in order to do both Limudei Kodesh and Chol.
2) Just in case anyone doesn’t realize, most of the stuff that happens over vacations will happen at night after yeshiva, or at the “hangout spots” (you know what they are) on motzei shabbosim
3) If there is enough FUN activities being provided for kids, (not just 3-4 hours of learning, which is what the kids that you are worried about can’t generally stand[sorry lawman]), then they will have other stuff to do, so they wont do what you don’t want them to.
In conclusion, although the winter break does have its dangers, it is a neccesity (don’t pretend otherwise) for students with the workload that they have. Instead of protesting it, how about trying to find constructive (e.g. sports,paintball etc.) things for us to do that will allow us to enjoy our needed break in a halchikly proper manner
What goes on during the “break” and what needed to be discussed was issues of excessive drinking, gambling, partying, and far worse things by children, who often are even younger than 16. Hop on down to Aruba/Puerto Rico next week and take a look for yourself.
winter break what a goyishe zach, feh!!!!!!!!!1
The speeches were directed to the Sephardic-Syrian community in Bklyn where hundreds of families during a two week intersession break make a mass exodus to places like Aruba Florida and exotic islands in the Caribbean, and many of the high school kids frequent beaches they shouldn’t be on and nightclubs that have all types of temptations. Every year there are stories of kids getting into serious trouble. This was the unique situation that the speakers were addressing. In their community this Intersession business is a major social pressure that everyone must go away and its almost embarrassing to stay home. The speeches were very important and halavy they made a roshem.
maybe the kids need a break bec.the school/yeshiva is too much pressure , too much competition!!! learning is to be enjoyed!! its not[just] supposed to be about high marks, too much & too difficult home work. our schools /yeshivos competing with each other for a top name, while too many of their kids are the karbanos of their fake success. but the hanhala/staff will tell u its the parents that want it [the super high level etc.]!!
Send ur kid to the yeshiva thats good for HIM not to what will impress ur [potential] mechutan!!
Also the kids believe that [perhaps] the good life is the fun life! they value vacations bec. they are[subtly] taught by adults that u are considered more succesfull if u are able to take more vacations.
The point of the shmooze was probaby for the parents to realize that when your children are home -TAKE CARE OF THEM! the point of the break is to take off and recharge, not to run around and come back exhausted. If you’re going to let your kids go on unsupervised overnight trips – don’t compain when something happens – where were you? whether it’s taking off of work and going with your kids or spending the extra money and sending a driver/supervisor along with your kids. Do what you think is right – just do something! Letting kids run around by themselves can not be conducive in any sort of way!
I met a bunch of NY High school boys yesterday in the Mir Beis Midrash, they are on their vacation…..and learning each morning at Mir. they seemed to really be enjoying it
“Let the Hanhola decide for their own yeshiva. They know all the maalos & chisronos that everyone is saying. Let them decide”.
This is a decision that needs PARENTAL IMPUT, not just schools’ administration, childrens & teenagers desires and needs for active engagement, extra curriculum activities (museums, nature walks, music, crafts, painting, sports) has become a NEGLECTED part of education. The talmud torah that my grands attend in E”Y, are out of school at 3pm, the latest, the kids have time to ‘go, move, read, do, explore, play’, etc…here in USA the earliest they are released from priso..I mean school is 5pm..
Stan the man – you may be making a mistake. Perhaps you think parents know their kids the best. But, the truth is that the Hanhola of the schools have a better idea than you give them credit for. You don’t have to agree, but at least give them credit.
lkdfellow – I wrote the decision needs ‘Parental Imput’ not to be made by Parents.
vacation?? halevi by my boys in my kneck of the woods its school school and more school
but… after reading all the beautiful stories about rav shmuel birnbaum zatzal maybe thats the way it should be
Different strokes for different folks…#40
Here’s an idea. What if the school sponsored an optional week of trips? Think of it as a day-by-day- optional day camp, but elevated a notch. With the rental of several yellow school buses, there are many options for fun trips (sports, etc). If its under the guidance of the particular school, we can assume it meets the hechsher of the school while at the same time allowing kids to have an kosher, fun time? Family members could be invited as well.
We have a tremendous power in our numbers. Let’s use it! Look what summer camps do. They actually rent out water parks, amusement parks, ice skating rinks by JOINING TOGETHER and GUARANTEEING a given number. It MUST pay for these people to do business with us, otherwise, they would not do business, it’s just dollars & cents to them. Think HERSHEYPARK on chol hamoed.
Giving establishments confirmed attendance can allow us to ensure that these studious kids have a well-deserved recreation time as well as in a good environment.
Will it cost extra? yes, but that’s details. With large # of attendees, group rates apply..
stan the man – you are right that the parents should have some input. But, the final say goes 2 the Hanhola. They know best.