We must get with the program.

From my perspective, which admittedly is less experienced, the Yeshiva system as a whole is doing many things extremely well. Our insular society has done an impressive job at incorporating all sorts of curricula, developing the skills of our school faculty, and in general, combining all the various elements that make for a good school and incorporating them into our myriad mosdai ha’torah. We can proudly look at these structures of impressive architecture and boast that they are far more than brick and steel – these edifices are spiritual fortresses, designed to mold and fortify the next generation. Our leaders, with tremendous mesiras nefesh, have created these holy halls to be places which are conducive to producing well-rounded, wholesome, productive b’nei torah.

Mechanchim will readily tell you that the challenges yeshivos face in today’s world are the most complex and challenging they have ever been – certainly on the shores of the United States. The level of difficulty our children have in accessing the filthiest aspects of humankind is often not much more than a reach into their pocket. The most addictive drug substances are easily accessible to any boy who may be going through a rough time. And to many of our precious sons, the pleasantness of a toisfos pales in comparison to the appeal of a shot of Jonnie Walker.

I remember the day when reading an Archie comic was frowned upon – when following sports too closely and being a diehard fan, was a favorite topic of mashgichim. How appalled our rabbeim would have been if they only knew we snuck in an episode of the Cosby Show or I Love Lucy during night seder. What a different world we live in now. How many parents only wish that their children’s pastime was an obsession with professional sports? Who wouldn’t rather their child go skiing or play pool or read Harry Potter rather than taint his pure neshama with the real grime our society has to offer?

And so, what have we done to keep our most precious commodities feeling happy and fulfilled?

Have we been offering them fun and engaging activities that can even begin to compete with all that they have readily available? We all try to provide a fun, happy and exciting atmosphere for our children, both at home and in our schools, but what we often fail to realize is that today’s children have an entirely different interpretation of what “fun, happy and exciting” means.

With the guidance and backing of our gedolim we must be courageous and meet this reality head on. The times we live in demand us to offer vastly more wholesome activities in safe environments. And yet, the mold we expect our youth to fit into keeps getting smaller and smaller. By the day, more and more activities are becoming “treif” and off-limits, which in turn makes our charges feel increasingly more restricted – in essence forcing them to look elsewhere.

I am convinced that we can dare to dream of an institution which provides nightly activities and healthy outlets, where teenagers can come and do what many regular teenagers want to do with their free time (i.e. swim, play ball, workout, learn karate, an instrument, etc.) Are we, collectively, that stubborn that we rather some of our children be in unknown locations, with unknown peers, doing who-knows-what rather than releasing some energy with the proper oversight and supervision? Are we prepared to have an honest conversation with ourselves about whether or not our children are feeling adequate fulfillment from their daily learning? Are we brave enough to do what needs to be done to give those perfectly normal children a feeling of success and contentment?

How many mosdos and organizations exist that are geared towards at-risk-kids? Shouldn’t we have one, exceptionally funded, overarching organization that’s main goal is putting those other mosdos out of business?

It has been said about numerous philanthropists that what they enjoy donating to most, is kiruv. Well – in the brand of kiruv that deals with children who have left the fold, I can’t imagine there could be money spent better anywhere else.

How many psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers spend day and night dealing with children with every conceivable issue? Can’t we find some talented, committed visionaries to provide us with that proverbial ounce of prevention? Shouldn’t every good doctor’s most fervent wish be that he comes in to work to find he has no patients?

There is a story told about Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky z’tzl. Reb Yaakov was approached by a man and his soon-to-be bar mitzvah son. The man asked Reb Yaakov which arm his son should be putting teffilin on, since his son is ambidextrous and there are differing halachik opinions. Reb Yaakov turned to the boy and asked “which hand do you throw a ball with?” The father, wanting to show off his son’s holiness, quickly responded “by us, we don’t play ball”. Reb Yaakov turned to the boy and insightfully replied “ah ya? So which hand do you fight with?”

To Reb Yaakov, it was clear that if you limit a boy to that degree, he’ll find other ways to release his energy.

We all daven fervently that our children should be talmidei chachamim and pray to Hashem that they enjoy the unparalleled pleasantness of a blatt gemara, but the time has come when we stop buying into the philosophy that a boy is only successful if he finishes masechta after masechta. The time has come when our yeshivos begin to care less about how they are perceived and care equally, if not more, about how they are engaging and nurturing each and every talmid.

If we keep fifty percent of troubled teens off the streets, wouldn’t that be worth it? 25 percent?

What saddens me is that this is something that is not likely to change. The numerous discussions I’ve had with various michanchim leads me to believe that this is not a new issue and will be difficult to change. The coming of Moshiach does seem that much more exhilarating when we can count on him discrediting the absurd mindset that a child in the alef shiur has more to offer klal yisroel than the one in the gimel shiur.

We need every one of our precious children to stay engaged in the fight. We need every position on the battlefield to be filled. We need the Generals, Lieutenants, Marines and the Navy of Hashem’s army working together. And we need to stop trying to produce only the generals. Lest I be misunderstood, allow me to be clear: in no way am I belittling the thunderous, sweet, kol torah that emanates from our cherished batei medrash, and we should all have great admiration for the level of hasmodah displayed by some of our bochurim as they apply exhaustive effort to plunge the depths of shas. But we mustn’t give them a greater feeling of belonging to the am segulah than we do any other child in our elite club.

Every parent and Rebbe knows this, but very few of us consider that maybe our children are meant to be the ones “cleaning the army tanks”. It is far more effective in bolstering our family or Yeshivah image to say “My child/talmud fights in an elite unit”.

We can have confidence that what will bring the most satisfaction to Hashem is if we make an honest calculation of how we’re doing with the gifts He’s entrusted to us. And after that assessment, it is essential we take the bold steps to keep our youngsters happy and mold them into frum loyal servants of their Father in heaven, regardless of what capacity they serve Him in.

It is time to make this crucial change in our chinuch minset.

Rabbi C. S. Zackst

The author can be contacted at [email protected]

NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.

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