zush12345

I once heard a beautiful explanation of the meaning of mechila. The popular understanding that everything is forgotten and the relationship between the two parties reverts back to where it was is obviously wrong, especially in cases when lasting damage has already occurred. The true meaning of forgiveness is that when a person harms another human being, a certain negative connection is formed between the offender and the victim which is the cause for all the pain and anger. The offender has shelita, a certain control over the victim. Think about it, when someone offends another person, it only really hurts when the person has some connection to the victim, some kind of bond that is now fueling negative feelings. So mechila is to CUT that negative bond, to say that you have NO control over me anymore and I am not bound by you at all. Now, after that painful process of disconnecting and being able to face the offender without feeling that “feeling” of control, the victim can now determine if this relationship is worth pursuing or not.

This is the true meaning of mechila.

I always get a kick out of people that whenever someone just remotely says something critical against their “gedolims” view,the first reaction is kofar beikar.Seriously?Thats the best you can do?

Are you really so immature and stupid?I think the reason why these guys go so nuts is the fact that allowing a conversation would mean listening and acknowledging another opinion thus maybe even weakening their meager existences thus its just much easier to put on the ever so bullying line of “my gadol is bigger then your gadol”line.Way to go guys.Just do your kids a favor and save money for their therapy.

hi evryone,

I am sitting here reading this thread,and since i am really new at this site i find it quite interesting,how bnei torah are discussing a topic,quoting their rabbanim,chafetz chaim and so forth.

I wanted to add,that this whole thing reminds me of a story with the chazon isch.the chazon isch once wrote when confronted with the question why he usually does not argue with people even in halacha.

his answer was as follows:

“everyone that paskens has there own approach,based upon their feelings,emotions and experiences in learning and life.nothing i say will change anything.”i find this attitude highly interesting.because some of you really want to hear and be heard,maybe even change their opinion.ashreichem.some of you though have their own agendas and they will NEVER change.as a test,everyone should lean back and think about their emotions about one side(abadi)or the other side(more “mainstream” )those honest among you will feel a certain netiah.and thats the key here.if you are trully honest and objective about halacha and doing the right thing then you will suddenly be able to understand the other side and give them a certain amount of credit even though you may no agree.and yes,there is a certain amount of loshon hora in this thread,subtle underlying tones.we must make sure to stop and listen to the other person if not you are not listening or talking to someone else you are trying to win a fight,and that never works.