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I remember when I was becoming dati at a Chabad house outside Boston the Rabbi said that it was a fairly common thing for families as they move to greater observance that driving to shul would be the last non shabbos thing that they would give up.
It kind of makes sense if you think about it, if you are a family out in the suburbs somewhere with nothing in walking distance and you decide to become religious you will need to move to be in walking distance of a shul, but of course moving house can not in most cases be done overnight, it takes time.
And just to be very clear the rabbi was talking about the case of a family transitioning from secular to shomer shabbos and being somewhere in the middle for a time, nothing else.
We have a cat
Just remember that you are not buying stuff from ebay, ebay doesn’t sell stuff, they provide a market for normal people (like you and me) to buy and sell stuff. You can get good deals if you are careful and know what to look for.
I have an android HTC desire as well as an ipod touch (long story). and I really like the android phone. I also have some issues with the way apple treats customers on the iPhone and the fact that to write an app for my private ipod I would have to pay apple, while google has some very cool tools to allow non programmers to create apps for the android.
I would say that the easist way to find out would be to call them and ask.
Don’t tell your hosts all the things they are doing wrong. Really, we had a guest once who was more black hat then we are and he spent all of shabbat telling us what we were doing wrong (and did the same to a few of our friends).
Watch them very carefully. Watch how they treat other people who may be percived as “inferior” socially. How a man treats his rabbi won’t tell you as much as how he treats the janitor.
Also watch in terms of stressful situations. While not everyone is perfect under stress (G-d knows I’m not) its still a good indicator.
Also look at who his friends are.
I write software for a company in Ramat Gan, and I am writing a book for O’Reilly in the USA and sometimes I tech review books for them.
When I’m not doing that I can be found with my telescope.
ummm, poor people have just as much right, and even obligation, to get married as not poor people!!True, but you should still act your wage. If you are broke fine, do something you can afford. There are a lot of things you can do on a date for little or no money in NYC. It may just take a bit of being creative. (I won’t give ideas as I am not a new yorker)
For most of Jewish history most Jews have not had “Jewish” biblical names. In the Jewish community of Rome in the 1550’s the most common name was “Perna” (http://www.s-gabriel.org/names/yehoshua/rome_article.html) at least according to
the records of the Beit Din of the community. (I actually wrote that article and did the basic research myself)
I don’t recall ever taking along test tubes or a bunson burner when I was dating.
(Sorry bit of nerd humor)
Its important that a couple be attracted to one another, I mean two people could line up perfectly on paper but when they meet there is no interest. Its not like buying a car the intangibles matter.
A very good book is “Head First HTML with CSS & XHTML” which you can find at http://www.headfirstlabs.com/books/hfhtml/ they also have a sample chapter there.
Disclamer, I write for O’Reilly though I had nothing to do with that book
I figure anything I can’t put my name to I probably shouldn’t say on the internet. (And yes that is my real name)
Ok the only way he will change is if he wants to change, you can’t do this for someone else. If you want to know if you have a problem look at these questions:
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/20questions.html
You can also find a list of meetings on that site.
Hope that helps
I would like to point out that the quality of the ring and the quality of the marriage have nothing to do with each other! When I got enganged I was not able to afford a diamond so I got my wife a silver ring that I knew she would like and that I could afford.
Also you can always upgrade the ring later if you are in a better shape!
On the other hand telling her that a ring is real when its not is a really bad start to things.
I like what I am doing now, computer software and writing books. But I am thinking about the idea of starting up my own biz.
There are a lot of jobs in High Tech, but you need to have skills. Customer service jobs about, but the hours tend to be lousy.
If anything the Israeli economy is better than that in the USA.
I’ll Second the Salk Polio Vaccine
It should be pointed out that a very small percent of people who come out of any yeshiva (Lakewood, YU etc) will ever be “Gadolim”. If we say that every student at a given yeshiva will become a gadol the term has been watered down to the point that it is meaningless.
Glad I could be of help.
I don’t particularly think that Yiddish is holy that being said I spent a summer living with my grandparents when I was a teen and I will say that I regret not having them teach me some yiddish.
They are secular but like most Jews of that generation in the USA they grew up speaking Yiddish at home and English at school (My grandfather also learned German, Latin and French)
The amazing thing is when a year or two ago a doctor asked him to write a sentence for some form of test he wrote out the first line of the Aenied, which he had learned in High School. He will be 99 this march!
Let us leave aside the broader question of is it OK in general to stay in touch with friends from before you were religious and focus on the specific question of the original poster and the specific friend.
You have from what you have said known this person for many years. And therefore we assume have some in site into who she really is. Do you feel that she has or may try to do something to turn you away from the path you are following or otherwise harm you? Or has she been supportive of your choices in life? If she has been supportive keep being friends.
Show her the same level of respect for her life as you would like to see shown for yours and I think you will be fine.
This is just friendly advice from a fellow BT, take it for what you think it is worth.
I agree with Charlie, I have many friends who are not frum, or not Jewish. We get along fine, I don’t tell them how to live their lives they don’t tell me how to live mine.
Oh and Aishes Chayil, Sorry to hear about your fear of dogs.
if you want to get over your fear of dogs maybe start with very small dogs (Something like a yorkie or a pug)
We don’t have one, just because the work involved with keeping a dog would be a bit too much for us (we do have a kitten)
That being said, if we had the resources I think we would get a dog. A pet can be a good way to teach kids responsibility, and a dog can make a nice addition to a family.
Of course I have always been one who doesn’t care much what other people think.
I hear your pain but there is not much that the white house can do. You might have better luck with folks in Albany
Smartcookie the problem is that a lot of the folks who win 1-4 million think they are suddenly very rich, they are not. If you win 1 million its not like they give you a check for $1,000,000 you get a yearly check for say $50,000. Now $50,000 is a nice chunk of cash but its not millions. If you take that money and pay off your house with it that is pretty smart, if you take it and then go crazy and buy a million dollar mc-mansion you are going to go broke (not you personally)
As close as I get to the lottery is working for internet startups. (so far I have had 1 of 4 pay out, and it was a lot less than a million)
I would suggest changing things one at a time and keeping notes. That way you know what worked and what didn’t. It may take a few tries to zero it in on exactly right.
Just one more point,
There have been studies done about people who have won the lottery, in a vast majority of cases within 4 years they are divorced, not talking to half their families and broke.
I mean it would be nice to have a few million bucks, but not at that cost!
From what I have heard (mostly on Dave Ramsey) having 0 credit history as long as you pay your bills on time and have a good work history causes no problem getting a mortgage.
Remember the FICO score tell you how much you love debt, not how well you are doing.
Um hate to break it to you but global warming acutaly predicts that there will be *MORE* snow globally. By warming up the tropical areas there will be more water vapor in the air, which has to fall out somewhere, and if it is cold there, well you get snow.
Actually no one doubts global warming, some people argue over weather or not it is a result of human activity.
personally I would say its a really bad idea. CC will tempt you into buying things that you really can’t afford. I got rid of my credit card ages ago and have never looked back!
My parents are divorced and i am rather glad that my wife didn’t care about that. And yes it does mean that my kids have an extra set of grandparents ;).
FWIW the major causes of divorce in the US are
1) Religious Differences
2) Money.
(There are 2 others but I forget what they are)
If a couple can be on the same page about those two things then they should be OK.
If you are in the USA or Canada and the sky is clear that night make an effort to see this. A lunar eclipse is very much worth seeing. You don’t need anything special but a pair of binoculars would be nice. If you can get a telescope use the lowest power eyepiece.
To bad it won’t be visible from Israel
The suggestion of having a picture of your family on your desk is a good one if you want everyone to know you are married. It could be a wedding picture of just a nice photo of the whole family.
Hate to break it to you, but being a computer programmer requires personal interaction too.
Some years ago I was given a copy of that book. I think I got about 5 pages into it before I realized that the writer had clearly never been in a modern office, and definitely not in high tech. If I were to follow the instructions in that book I would probably never work again.
And I have to say at my workplace I don’t even know half my co worker’s last names. (And no one is called “Mr” or Mrs or whatever)
WIY I have to say your behavior to the Wolf has been down right rude.
And yes it appears that his memory of that was incorrect, It happens, and when you showed him he was wrong he admitted it and moved on. You seem to think it is a character flaw to admit that you made a mistake. I will admit that I don’t understand this. People make mistakes, memory is faulty, at least mine is.
I will also state that for the record I have met the Wolf and consider him a friend. Oh and I also can not think of any set of events that might convince me that young earth creationism is correct.
Work, but I live in Israel where the work week is Sunday to Thursday. Of course what do I do on Friday, work. (And help my wife get ready for shabbat)
Eat healthy diet, a HUGE dose of Vitamin C will not do you any good, your body will just dispose of 99% of it. Yo are going to literally be pissing your money away. I would also suggest some physical activity such as running.
I did make aliyah on my own, 7 years ago! I met my wife 3 weeks later when she was trying to found a club.
Many people who make aliyah with NBN are modern orthodox, but they are happy to help any Jew who wants to make a life in Israel.
I made aliyah as a 30 year old single, and met my wife 3 weeks after I got here, kind of by accident.
As for if you can find work in Israel it depends on your skill set. There are jobs here, but of course the better paying ones require you have the skills, same as anywhere.
In sort don’t expect moving to Israel will solve all your problems, it won’t! But do move to Israel because for 2000 years we have been saying “Next year in Jerusalem” and its time to do what all your ancestors would have given their right arm to do… Live in Israel!
If you want to say that women shouldn’t go out of the house much then the man must give up learning and get a job to support a family.
Though in our family we both work.
My wife says right now they are not hiring, but try google, there are other firms that might be. Also it should be said, I would not want to try to support a family off of her income doing transcriptions. For us we have my salary which is quite good. The extra money from my wife’s job is going to allow us to cash-flow a wedding. My Step Daughter is getting married next summer so we want to be able to do it without any debt.(we don’t borrow money)
Well speaking as someone who got married at 31 Let me make a few points.
1) It can be very hard to keep your hope up, esp after the 432nd person tells you “Don’t worry you will find someone” or the like.
2) Don’t marry the wrong person just to “get married” I almost did
3) Cold showers
4) Actually after the 823rd person says “Soon by you” there is an urge to deck them, try to not do that. (OK that one is a joke, well mostly)
(Disclaimer wasn’t shommer shabbat until I was 27 or so, though I still wanted to get married before that)
It can be good, but there are pitfalls. First of all don’t hire someone who is family if you wouldn’t otherwise hire them! And its probably a good idea to not have them be a direct report. Also family members have to do the same work as anyone else. It will kill morale at the company if the boss’s son is a total slacker and everyone else has to work.
I forgot how she heard about the job. It might have been on a mailing list. But I think you need to be a US citizen living in Israel to work at this particular place.
My wife just started a job doing court transcription. She really likes it. She works from home and it seems like she will be making decent money. It should really help our family budget!
I would disagree with the idea of the parents fronting the money as a loan. I think kids (and adults) need to learn to delay pleasure until you have the money.
I would agree on the specific idea of a trip to Florida. But the more general idea that a kid should earn their own money I am all in favor of. It will teach them the value of a dollar (or shekel) and teach them that sometimes they are better off saying “no” to something.