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First of all, Rabbi Brody has never said that psychiatric medications should never be used. In extreme cases and as a last resort, it’s likely he’d approve of it.
Second, it’s important to understand that there is a lot of controversy within the medical community on the effectiveness of anti-depressants. A recent meta-analysis claimed to show that most anti-depressants don’t really work at all (I think this was in Time or Newsweek). There is a significant amount of corruption within the pharmeceutical industry — they do something like commission 10 studies on the effectiveness of their drugs, and hide the results of the 8 studies that show no effect. Several books and films have appeared on this topic. In addition, many of these pills have serious side effects, including even such things as an increased risk of suicide attempts.
Third, there is a large amount of research showing that certain behaviors or dietary changes — exercise, praying, volunteering, being thankful, writing in a journal, dark chocolate, even cold showers — can improve mood and decrease depression just as well as, or even better than, anti-depressants.
Fourth, Rabbi Brody has counseled many people whose children were on medications like adderal or whatever, and through parenting and lifestyle changes helped them stop using the drugs. So some of what he’s saying comes from his counseling experience (as opposed to just his beliefs or whatever).
For these reasons, in all but the most extreme cases (for example, with lots of suicide ideation), I think it makes sense to pursue other avenues — such as hisbodedus, increasing one’s emuna, getting more sleep and exercise, eating healthier food including dark chocolate, increasing social contact, etc. — before resorting to medications.
I agree with those who said you should agree to get a housecleaner.
You seem concerned that she doesn’t want to take care of the house. But even if she has a housecleaner, even one that comes let’s say more than once a week, there are still so many things she’ll have to do herself. A housecleaner can’t do everything.
Most importantly, read and put into practice the teachings of the book Garden of Peace by Rav Shalom Arush. I won’t describe the teachings here because the book is supposed to be read by men only, and that’s for a good reason. But I strongly believe his teachings are truly the key to shalom bayis.
Shalom bayis is not a common sense matter of doing what seems right to you at the time. You need to understand the underlying principles, something the book does really well (and unlike any other shalom bayis book.)
I have realized I was doing many things wrong, and whenever something goes wrong with shalom bayis I realize it is because I failed to fulfill the teachings of that book. Conversely, whenever I do what the book says, my shalom bayis problems go away just like that. It’s that good!
I don’t have one personally, but here are a few ones recommended historically:
1) the Yerushalmi says that one should always have on one’s lips the phrase from Tehillim, “Lord of Hosts, happy is the man who trusts in you.”
2) “Gamzu l’tovah,” as mentioned in Talmud Bavli in the story of Nachum Gamzu.
3) The Shulchan Aruch rules that one should always be in the habit of saying, “Everything the Merciful One does is for the good.”
4) Rebbe Nachman of Breslov recommended that people repeat the phrase “Ribbono shel olam,” when they find themselves unable to practice hisbodedus in his preferred sense of talking to Hashem in your own words.
It’s possible that you really need all that food. More likely, you’re eating too many carbs and not enough fats and protein and fiber, which make you feel more full. Try eating a big healthy breakfast with carbs (whole grains) but also a lot of fat and protein and fiber. The meals in the rest of your day won’t be as big, and you can avoid snacking as well.
The chassidic sefer Likutei Eitzos has some mystical interpretations of the phenomenon of eating greedily. In case you’re interested, here are some of them.
“Be careful not to gulp your food down hurriedly like a glutton. It was Esau who said, `Let me swallow some of this red pottage’ (Genesis 25:30). Get into the habit of eating at a moderate pace, calmly and with the same table manners you would show if an important guest were present. You should always eat like this, even when you are eating alone. Happy is the one who achieves this! (Chayey Moharan, Avodat Hashem, 69).
Whenever you feel a sudden strong impulse to eat it is a sign that there are forces which hate you. This sudden appetite for food is caused by the animal part of your nature. You must break the animal impulse. Then you will be free from the clutches of those who hate you (39).
Gluttony leads to divisiveness and strife. The glutton is an object of contempt. Other people look down upon him: they have no wish to help him, on the contrary they put all kinds of opposition in his way. But a person who succeeds in breaking his greedy impulses will find peace. And peace will also reign in the realms above. A profound and wonderful contentment will reveal itself in the world (Ibid.).
When a person manages to break his desire for food, God works miracles through him (Ibid.).
When a person eats greedily it is a stain, as it were, on the honor which is due to God’s holiness. The more disrespect that is shown to God, the more the arrogant start to assert themselves. The nations of the world abrogate to themselves all the glory that is due to God. They flaunt themselves and boast, and receive the world’s respect and deference for it. God hides His face from the world and the Divine aspect of severe justice prevails. But when we break the desire for food, God shows favor to the world. The aspect of severity is withdrawn. The honor due to God’s holiness is restored. The arrogant are humbled and lose their power and influence (67:2,3).
Never eat more than you need. If you eat unnecessarily it can be very harmful. Even the food which the body needs is then joined with the extra food and causes great damage (257).
The time when we are eating is especially suited to working on ourselves to develop the fear of Heaven. We should be careful to take advantage of the moment and cultivate this fear in our hearts (Ibid.).”
Yes, of course spouses should discuss it, but sometimes it’s nice when one spouse (particularly the one who is more detail-oriented and conscientious) is in charge of paying the bills and such. That’s just my own thought. I don’t remember exactly what R’ Arush says — I recommend you read his book to find out more.
Leeba, thanks for sharing and welcome to the CR! Even if the less strict MO do not have a lower OTD rate than charedi Jews (as people on this thread have claimed), there still may be merit to your views and advice about how to prevent people from going off.
Rabbi Lazer Brody and Rabbi Shalom Arush, in their books and lectures, have often chided parents for being too negative with their children, using a harsh or demanding approach rather than a more positive approach focused on love and setting an example with true emunah/bitachon and joy in mitzvos.
In fact, many OTD Jews who were turned off by their parents’ harsh approach have come back to Yiddishkeit with R’ Brody and R’ Arush’s encouragement. Although they are chassidic, they have never spoken a negative word about MO — that is not their way. (As an indication of their attitude, R’ Brody often features, or even performs with, MO musicians in videos on his blog.)
Rav Arush is speaking (with R’ Brody as translator) tonight in Queens, at Youn Israel of KGH — I highly recommend you check it out if you’re in NY!
Rav Shalom Arush, an Israeli chassidic Rosh Yeshivah and author of many best-selling books, recommends in his Shalom Bayis book Garden of Peace that the wife be put in charge of the family’s finances.
Some interesting passages on this topic in a recent post on Torah Musings:
RebDoniel, well I think it’s interesting that in the Pew study, the MO were the most likely of all to say living an ethical life was important for their Judaism.
You’re right it’s a big challenge — and I think what makes it really hard is the issue of emunah. People think, Oh, I don’t really believe G-d wants us to do all these little details, so why should I be anything more than Reform? People need either to come to believe that adherence to traditional halacha is actually required, or to at least believe that it’s better to affiliate orthodox regardless of their beliefs.
Perhaps it is emunah after all, as people have said. Rebbe Nachman predicted a great wave of atheism, writing over 200 years ago:
“Great atheism is coming to the world as a test from on high. The world’s many sins are causing a terrible lack of faith. Happy is the person who stays firm in his faith in these times.
The fact that I am predicting this will not prevent the increase of Godlessness and confusion. Long ago Daniel and others made it known that this would happen in the days before the Mashiach. ‘Many will purify themselves and be refined, and make themselves shining white. But the wicked will do evil. and only the wise shall understand'(Daniel 12:10 ) .
Knowing that this has already been foreseen, it would seem that it should not be such a great trial for people to remain strong and firm in their faith. But the truth is that even though the prophets made this known long ago, it will still be a great trial. Many will fall by the way , and that is why it is written: ‘the wicked will do evil.’
I am revealing this for the sake of the few pure souls who will remain firm in their faith. They will certainly face great battles even in their own minds. But when they see that this has already been predicted, it will give them greater strength and encouragement.”
Sichot Haran #35
“Likewise, just before Mashiach comes, there will be a flood of atheism – not a literal flood of water but one of strange thoughts that will cover all the ‘high mountains’ even in the land of Israel, which was not affected by Noah’s flood. The rains will teem down with such force that even the ‘mountains of Israel’ will be drenched – even the hearts of the pure will be affected.
Wisdom and sophistication will be of no avail. The only ones who will hold firm are the simple Jews who recite Psalms simply and sincerely. That is why, when the Mashiach comes, they will be the ones who place the royal crown on his head.”
RebDoniel: I see what you’re saying, but I think it depends on the individual. For some people going to restaurants is a big part of their lives, so if they’re making the transition to becoming Orthodox, or if they’re Orthodox-but-not-totally-committed-to-100%-observance, then it can be a big struggle for some people (even if other issues are relevant to larger numbers of people). For other people, they’re content with hechshered foods from the grocery store and they don’t mind eating out.
One of the biggest challenges nowadays, I think, is the problem of how to attract larger numbers of non-Orthodox Jews to Orthodoxy, at a time of a lot of negative publicity and loosening moral standards. Orthodox Jews need to make a big effort to project a better image, and do more effective outreach, in order to make larger-scale teshuvah more likely. Some of R’ Alderstein’s recent essays on Cross Currents (the ones in response to the Pew study) are a good step in this direction, I think.
For people who were not always frum or who aren’t yet completely frum, keeping kashrus out of the home is a big challenge involving a lot of sacrifice. People are used to eating out at restaurants and at friend’s houses as one of their main pleasures in life, and much of international travel is about eating new things in exotic locales. Unless the person lives in and only wants to travel to NY or Israel (where there are tons of kosher restaurants), all this must be sacrificed.
Because of the internet, we all have a big challenge both in guarding our eyes from forbidden sites, and using our time wisely. Just think how much more time people could devote to prayer, Torah and mitzvos if they didn’t spend a few hours surfing on the web each day.
Given the extreme cleavages among the charedi, dati and chiloni communities in Israel, I’d say the main challenge there is Ahavas Yisroel and achdus.
I just wash the skin and cut it up and boil it — it cooks pretty fast, within a few minutes. I remove the skin if I’m feeding it to a baby or small toddler, though, since babies don’t do well with skins.
Voldemort = an evil leader bringing people away from Yiddishkeit to a wicked secular philosophy like that of Sodom (rampant selfishness and immorality) or Communism.
Harry Potter = potentially the gadol hador or even Moshiach, with the bravery to lead all Jews and potentially all humanity back to true Yiddishkeit.
Hermione = someone who escapes obstacles in her background (being Muggle-born, being a woman) to become a great Torah scholar and a strong positive influence on the potential gadol hador Harry.
Ron = someone who escapes obstacles in his background (poverty, insecurity, dominant older siblings, average intelligence) to play an important role, as a trusted friend and confidant, in the rise of the potential gadol hador Harry.
Hagrid = pious and good-hearted but eccentric and relatively unlearned Jew, who because of his kindness and bravery is greatly valued by the potential gadol hador/moshiach Harry. (Much like the Besht greatly valued pious but unlearned Jews.)
The Ministry of Magic = the rabbanut, the charedi political parties, the rabbinic establishment at the time of the Besht — the would-be leaders who aren’t leading.
Witches and wizards = observant Jews (praying, studying Torah and doing mitzvos is really magic — it changes the world in a supernatural way).
Muggles = non-Jews and non-observant Jews (they don’t understand the magic of Torah and mitzvos).
The Dursleys = anti-Semites, militant atheists and anti-Orthodox Jews.
Slytherin = those for whom Torah is a deadly poison (Yoma 72b), because their ulterior motive is for power and domination rather than serving Hashem and improving their character traits.
Gryffindor = those who are brave and bold as a lion in doing Hashem’s will, fighting evil and making a kiddush Hashem.
Hufflepuff = those who are kind and humble in doing Hashem’s will, who always do acts of kindness but are not known to take the initiative to spread Judaism or lead people toward teshuvah.
Ravenclaw = those who are righteous Torah scholars but lack the bravery to intervene and push for positive changes in society (such as more unity, etc.)
Dumbledor = the greatest tzaddik of the generation.
Belief certainly matters in Judaism, and several mitzvos require us to believe certain things. If we don’t believe we should strive to believe, and pray to increase our emunah.
However, the fact is that not everyone is perfect in their emunah, and it is good that we don’t police this. It is much better for an Orthoprax person to be in the frum community, as long as they are not attempting to spread doubt and kefirah to others.
As for teachers, we should ascertain if they are doing a good job. If they are making the children less (rather than more) enthusiastic about Yiddishkeit then they should be replaced, regardless of what their personal beliefs are. That is, let’s focus on results.
Depends on your hashkafa. Everyone is meant to serve Hashem, and part of each Jew’s purpose is to study Torah and fulfill mitzvos (including such “spiritual” mitzvos as loving and fearing G-d, and trusting in Him). But chassidic and kabbalistic thought teaches that each person has a particular soul correction they are also meant to achieve in this life. If a person has a strong interest in a particular mitzvah or good deed, whether it is tefillin or feeding the hungry or achieving worthwhile goals in public policy, it is possible that their life’s mission is to concentrate on that to some extent. Or if a person has a particular weakness, such as a tendency to commit a certain kind of sin or a negative character trait, then part of their purpose in life is probably to correct this behavioral pattern.
Each group within Yiddishkeit has different emphasis, leading to a different vision of what is our life’s purpose. For example, if you read the works of R’ Shalom Arush you will get a sense that attaining emunah and bitachon, and thus true happiness and character refinement, especially through hitbodedut (personal prayer in one’s own words) is one of the main purposes we should all be striving towards.
To address your original questions,
1) Sam2 may be right about the book you mentioned, but in general your assumption is correct that one should avoid reading books by non-Orthodox Jews. Even if it is just a translation, there may be heretical material in the introduction.
2) Original kabbalistic sources in general are something to be studied (if at all) when you have more background. However, there’s no harm in learning chassidus on a basic level (some chassidim describe chassidus as kabbalah in a more accessible form), or perusing easy-to-read kabbalistic texts such as Tomer Devorah (which one can access online for free). For example, you could read the commentaries in the (Chabad) Gutnick chumash, peruse the (Chabad) website sichos-in-english, read articles on Chabad.org and study The Essential Rabbi Nachman. Anything by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan would also be good to read, whether we’re talking about his mystically-oriented works or not. R’ Yitzhok Ginsburg’s website inner.org also contains a lot of interesting and accessible articles on kabbalistic topics.
There are many stories and anecdotes (from doctors as well as non-doctors) about advanced cancer just disappearing for no explainable reason. There is much we don’t know about why cancer goes into remission (in the absence of anti-cancer drugs and therapies.) It is possible that diet can cause cancer remission in some cases.
In fact, I did a quick search on Google Scholar and found this: a study called “Case Report: Spontaneous Remission of Metastatic Endometrial Carcinoma Through the Lim Lifestyle,” in the scientific journal Nutrition and Cancer, discussing two cases in which cancer had gone into remission apparently as a result of the Lim Lifestyle, which involves a vegan diet. (There is even a book called History of Alternative Cancer Diets.)
That said, although I am familiar with a vegan diet being prescribed by some doctors to treat heart disease, I have never heard it touted as a surefire treatment for cancer, and I would be very surprised if it works in all (or even most) cases.
There are people who think homeopathy can cure cancer but there’s some vast conspiracy covering up this knowledge to benefit cancer drug companies or something. Be careful — people have died because they refused regular treatments in favor of ineffective alternative treatments. That’s not to say alternative medicine doesn’t ever work — I’m just advocating skepticism of any claims that such a therapy always works or is unpopular only because of mysterious dark forces controlling the world.
This thread should be shut down. Whenever there are threads consisting mainly of attacking Chabad, there are shut down. Then why should this CR tolerate all the insults hurled at Breslovers on this thread?
WIY, since you mentioned R’ Arush, I just wanted to point out he’s visiting the US soon (for the first time), visiting various cities sometime in November.
LAB, here is a translation of the passage which you seem to think means Breslovers can’t go to heaven, c”v’s.
“Halacha 7
Five individuals are described as Minim:
a) one who says there is no God nor ruler of the world;
b) one who accepts the concept of a ruler, but maintains that there are two or more;
c) one who accepts that there is one Master [of the world], but maintains that He has a body or form;
d) one who maintains that He was not the sole First Being and Creator of all existence;
e) one who serves a star, constellation, or other entity so that it will serve as an intermediary between him and the eternal Lord.
Each of these five individuals is a Min.”
Breslovers don’t believe any of this. On the contrary, they simply believe in the power of a tzaddik after death to influence the world through the tzaddik’s prayers. That the departed pray for the living is mainstream hashkafa. The Gemara actually notes that tzaddikim are more powerful after their death than before. (Chullin 7b). It is also very mainstream to visit the graves of tzaddikim.
WIY, while I have a strong interest in Breslov chassidus, I’ve never wanted anything to do with NaNach (which is in any case a very small proportion of today’s Breslovers). That said, the idea that they’re all drug addicts passing off aveiros as chassidus is preposterous and slanderous!
Please avoid using mothballs. They smell horrible, give many people headaches, and their main ingredient is a known carcinogen. What’s worse, once you take them away the smell does not go away. Peppermint, on the other hand, smells great! Hatzlacha!
A certain percentage of the Conservative and Reform Jews identified in the study are not halachically Jewish, either because they’re patrilineal Jews or because they consider themselves Jewish through an invalid conversion of their mother or maternal grandmother. The survey researchers could have asked about whether their mother is Jewish and whether she converted, but as far as I can tell they didn’t. It would be nice to know what percentage of each movement, and what percentage of non-affiliated self-identified Jews, aren’t Jewish at all under Jewish law.
The sample of Orthodox Jews, and especially MO Jews, is very small, and because of this small sample size it’s hard to know whether the results are valid.
There are some oddities in the results that suggest the sampling was inadequate. A pretty large percentage of self-described Orthodox Jews (including ultra-orthodox) indicated that they didn’t refrain from handling money on Shabbos.
The survey found that only 50% of those raised Orthodox were still Orthodox, which contradicts the idea that the Orthodox are so good at retention. However, the numbers are much higher for the younger Orthodox groups, and these numbers are only good if the sample was truly representative. I have a feeling that the more frum families, especially chassidim and those with many children, refused to participate in the study when contacted, because they were too busy or just not interested.
The 1% and 4% kiruv numbers might be correct, but they might underestimate rates of making teshuvah, if a significant amount of BTs make aliyah or if the survey for whatever reason ended up undersampling BTs. Even so, given the anti-Orthodox attitude of Reform and Conservative Jews, and the anti-religious cultural context in which we live at this time, these numbers are not insignificant. They mean there are thousands of new observant Jews, marrying other Jews and raising observant Jewish children.
Ralph, to respond to your first comment, gilgulim are mentioned numerous times in the Zohar. What kabbalists after the publication of the Zohar disputed reincarnation?
Just my hapence, Hamsa means five in Arabic. I don’t think you can accuse Jews of making it up to sound less jain. Ahimsa means compassion or something in Hindi, I think — not sure if it’s somehow related to the word Hamsa.
OhTeeDee, I see what you’re saying. The Zohar was according to tradition written by Shimon Bar Yohai in Talmudic times and published for the first time in Spain in the 1200s. I’m not familiar with the cultural context of the time, but I’m fairly sure Hinduism and Buddhism were not popular there at the time — my guess would be that they would be completely unknown. Hinduism was traditionally confined to India, and Buddhism never became popular further West than Afghanistan. The Ramban’s mention of gilgulim had to do with his explanation of yibum (marrying your brother’s widow), and I don’t see any connection of this to Eastern religions.
It’s true there’s no obvious reference to gilgulim in the Torah, Tanakh or even the Mishnah or Talmud. However, it is conceivable that belief in reincarnation was passed down from teacher to student in small kabbalistic circles, and only revealed in the 1200s when someone (Hashem?) decided that it was time to reveal these teachings to the world. It is also conceivable that gilgulim are real, but that they weren’t part of the original belief system of Jews at all, until by ruach hakodesh and other spiritual experiences great tzaddikim like Shimon Bar Yochai or later figures realized that gilgulim is part of how Hashem runs the world.
Keep in mind that many things that are part of normative Judaism today are not found in the Torah or Tanakh (detailed descriptions of gehenna, olam haba, lighting shabbat candles). We rely on not only the Oral Torah, but also the teachings of the gedolim and tzaddikim in all the subsequent generations. If gilgulim is heretical or not true or whatever, then why did virtually all rabbis come to accept it within a few hundred years of the publishing of the Zohar? Just a thought!
Sam2, I don’t know about that — I did a bit of research and it seems that reincarnation was mentioned in Hindu texts starting around 2600-3000 years ago.
Regardless, though, it still could have come from Judaism, or even from pre-Jewish adherents of the Noahide derech. There is a teaching that Avraham Avinu’s brothers traveled east (which I think is mentioned in R’ Aryeh Kaplan’s book on meditation). So it’s possible all Eastern religions were influenced by Judaism.
The fact that Jainism uses the Hamsa does not prove that they used it before us, or that it’s not an authentically Jewish symbol. Not that it matters — the Hamsa has a long history in Judaism and we don’t need to establish we’re the first or only ones to use it to have Hamsa symbols in our art and jewelry and such.
OhTeeDee, You’re welcome! Yes, it is not mentioned in Tanakh, or even the Gemara, though I’m sure someone has tried to interpret pesukim as referring to gilgulim in some way. Ramban mentioned gilgulim, but the main way it was introduced into mainstream Judaism is with the publication and popularization of the Zohar (and the teachings of the Arizal and his contemporaries as well).
True, it’s not necessary to believe in gilgulim to have the right motivation. It’s just one possible source of extra motivation.
I guess another practical benefit could be that in some circumstances, a great tzaddik counseling a person with a lot of problems might be able to help them by figuring out that the problems derive somehow from previous gilgulim. (Perhaps like past-life regression therapy.) The Arizal did something similar, I believe (he was known for telling people who they were a gilgul of, and such things).
These are really just some random thoughts — I’m not a chosid or kabbalist or an expert on this topic by any means.
RebDoniel: 1) sefiros do not relate to chassidim in particular, but rather are a core feature of all kabbalah for at least the last 500 years, 2) pulling someone out of gehinom by his peyos was not meant literally (and anyway it is consistent with the statement in the Zohar that tzaddikim are more powerful after death than before), 3) I personally use money, but I don’t see why kapparos with a chicken (which by the way is not limited to chassidim) is any more Xian than the original Torah version of pushing the “scapegoat” off a cliff, 4) the Gemara itself says the death of tzaddikim atone for the sins of the generation (maybe Shabbos 133), so this is not far-fetched, 5) this is a very recent belief, so can’t be used to judge all chassidus, 6) many ancient rabbinic commentaries also associate Yeshaya 53 with moshiach — Xians aren’t the only ones, but that doesn’t prove they’re right.
Aside from the meshichists I don’t see any significant similarities with Xianity in what you wrote. Even in the case of meshichists the similarity is coincidental — they don’t believe the Rebbe died for their sins to atone for humanity’s sin and enable us to be saved, as Xians believe about their alleged savior.
OhTeeDee, Yes, Judaism believes in such things. However, as I mentioned, it’s not absolutely required to believe in them, because there were some rabbis (mainly before the Zohar) who wrote against the notion of reincarnation, and also the Rashash, who lived less than 300 years ago.
The reason you didn’t hear about it in your MO education is because MO Judaism in general (like most of the Litvish world) stays away from kabbalah, and kabbalah is where the teachings about reincarnation come from.
However, that’s not to say there aren’t major modern or Yeshivish rabbinical authorities who have openly discussed it. For example, the Vilna Gaon wrote about gilgulim in his interpretation of the book of Yonah.
All or most chassidim are probably familiar with the concept of gilgulim, because unlike other groups, the study of kabbalah (through chassidus) is normal and widespread. However, even among them, the topic doesn’t come up all the time.
In my view, the main practical consequence of believing in gilgulim should be to provide further motivation to perfect yourself in this life (eliminating negative character traits and fostering positive ones, as well as following mitzvos and studying Torah), because if you don’t fulfill the mission of this gilgul, you may have to live again (and your life might not be that pleasant next time — you never know.)
Another thing is that there is a teaching I’ve heard from various sources (I don’t know the original source), that if you die without Hashem having forgiven you for a sin between man and God, you will have to spend some time in gehinom, but if you die without having a person forgive you for a sin you committed against them, then you will have to have another gilgul to atone for that.
Certainly, you can find pesukim suggesting that Hashem hates sinners (rather than “loving the sinner and hating the sin”), but there are certainly good sources showing that Hashem loves all Jews, and indeed all his creations (though not necessarily equally.)
The Besht taught that “G-d loves every Jew more than parents love an only child born to them in their old age.”
The Lubavitcher Rebbe commented:
“This teaching of the Baal Shem Tov applies to every member of our people without distinction. Even a Jew’s failure to observe the Torah and its commandments cannot detract from this love, for it is rooted in the very essence of his being and that of G-d, as it were. The essence of every Jew is his soul, which is ‘an actual part of G-d from above.'[8] This defines his fundamental personality.
A person’s failure to manifest this dimension in his actual conduct does not affect this essential connection. A Jew always remains a Jew. Thus Maimonides rules that every Jew, even one who protests the contrary, ‘wants to be part of the Jewish people and desires to fulfill all the mitzvos and separate himself from sin, and it is only his Evil Inclination which forces him [to do otherwise].'[9]
What does a Jew really desire? — To fulfill G-d’s will. And if he does not conduct himself accordingly, we should realize that he is momentarily not in control of his behavior: it is his yetzer hara which is forcing him to act contrary to his true self.
G-d Loves Every Jew as He Is
It is therefore utterly out of place to belittle the virtues of those of our people who do not yet fully observe the Torah. Moreover, unloving rebuke is likely to break their spirit and dampen their innate Jewish zeal. With a more positive approach, however, the response is heartening indeed. In the last few decades, thousands of individuals and families have chosen to return to a lifestyle inspired by the Torah. In overwhelming proportions, the immediate reason for their choice is that someone reached out to them warmly and lovingly; a fellow Jew showed them how the practice of Judaism can infuse joy and meaning into their lives — because it attunes them to their innermost selves.”
Squeak, you are mistaken. Hashem certainly loves all Jews and indeed all of his creations. There are various sources for this. Let’s see what I can find.
“As Hashem is compassionate, so you also be compassionate. As He loves and cares for all his creatures, because they are His creatures and His children, and are related to Him because He is their Father; so you also love all His creatures as your brethren.” (R’ Hirsch, Horeb 72) (The Gemara says basically the same thing).
“Hashem loves His creations, and wants to give to them.” (Bilvavi).
I think there is also a discussion on Mi Yodea (StackExchange) documenting that Hashem loves all Jews individually.
Wasn’t the Rashash the only gadol in the last several hundred years to cast doubt on gilgulim? Because of the Rashash and those opponents from several hundred years before him, it’s probably not kefira to deny gilgulim, but believing in gilgulim is totally mainstream hashkafa. It’s just something most people don’t like to think, talk or learn about. I recommend R’ Yaakov Astor’s book on evidence for the afterlife (which has a chapter on this topic) — it’s really interesting.
You might have him check out the biography of the Baba Sali, by his personal assistant, who witnessed many instances of ruach hakodesh and miraculous happenings. Aside from this book, many people have reported seeing similar wonders from the Baba Sali.
Of course, there are also hundreds of such stories, many of them first-hand accounts, relating to the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
Even the mechaber was visited by angelic beings, as documented in his journal. For those (less rationalist) people who do not have trouble believing in such things, the fact that R’ Caro was a kabbalist and had mystical experiences could strengthen their emunah in the halachic system.
Everyone has their own tastes — I’m personally drawn toward certain teachings, such as those of Breslov chassidus and the Ramak (as in Tomer Devorah) but some other mystical things, like complex meditations on permutations of the Divine name, don’t appeal to me at all. Re: that line in Tanya, there are many (non-offensive) interpretations of it by modern-day Chabadniks that are worth looking into.
One of the writers on Cross Currents recently described himself as a Hirschian, in the sense of being in favor of work and not just Torah study, and I think he would describe himself as Yeshivish. So it’s possible.
Re: chassidic seforim, I recommend perusing Likutei Eitzos and other more modern compilations of similar works (google “Set aside time each day to meditate and pray alone” and you’ll find a chapter from one such compilation online for free.) There is a lot of interesting practical advice in those books. Even non-chassidim, such as well-known rabbis in the Mussar movement, have recommended them as mussar.
Of course everyone can choose their own derech and mystical things aren’t for everyone. I would just think an open-minded and intellectually curious person who wants to grow in their own Avodas Hashem would want to open a more mystically-minded sefer now and then to see if there’s anything useful.
As for the core values and daily study schedule for a Yeshivish person, I’m not the best person to ask. Keep in mind that not all the posters on this site would describe themselves as Yeshivish.
You can devote yourself to Torah study, full-time or part-time, no matter what kind of Jew you are. Plenty of Modern Orthodox, Centrist Orthodox, “frum but not yeshivish,” and Chassidic Jews are serious about studying Torah.
In practice being Yeshivish means dressing in a certain way (black, usually velvet kippah, black hat, jacket while davening, white shirts), having a certain hashkafa (focused on the Yeshivish gedolim) which is not particularly mystical (kabbalah study is uncommon) but is certainly not rationalist, going to certain shuls and sending your kids to certain schools, and studying Torah in a certain way (focusing on Gemara and, maybe, halacha, while chassidim study chassidus too, or even focus on that, and more independent-minded people study whatever they want to study.)
It’s fairly common for Yeshivish women to work to support their husbands in full-time Torah learning for a few years (or even for their lifetime, though that’s less common outside of Israel), but it’s probably more common for men to work full time but study at a fixed time each day.
To me your hashkafa sounds most consistent with Modern or Centrist Orthodoxy. However, if you wear a black velvet kippah and/or other aspects of the Yeshivish uniform then at least some people will think of you as more yeshivish or at least “frum” between Modern and Yeshivish.
Some say that the kippah has to be visible from all sides, but I’m not sure that is is widely agreed upon. Perhaps that is the reason why some put their kippah on the top of the head instead of letting it rest on the back top part of the head (which looks strange to me but whatever, to each his own.)
You’re right! It might be because, even though dozens of major poskim have ruled smoking is assur, some poskim allow smoking because of a (empirically very dubious) claim that smoking causes less than a 50% chance of death from smoking-related diseases. I don’t see how such a consideration is relevant. Playing Russian Roulette only involves a 1/6th chance of death but no posek would allow that!
You’re welcome! For further information, contact your local Orthodox rabbi. You might also want to consult general halachic guides to everyday observance such as the book Shaarei Halacha.
For someone without a comprehensive Jewish education trying to use an Artscroll siddur, it can be very confusing, because the siddur includes many things that are not really obligatory or at least not said by everybody. If you want to do the minimum basic required morning prayers (shacharis), say the morning blessings, baruch sheamar, tehillim 145-50, yishtabach, the shema and its before and after blessings, the amidah, tachanun, ashrei/uva l’tzion, and aleinu. If you do it quickly you can be done in 15 or 20 minutes. But as people have said, the shema and the amidah are the most obligatory, so you should start with those and do only those if that’s all you can make time for.
Thanks for sharing! Hatzlacha!
As you probably know, in many Modern Orthodox girls’ high schools the girls take several Gemara classes, and women can get masters’ degrees in Talmud from Stern/YU. (In Israel there are some women known as Torah scholars, whose opinions are given some weight by Modern Orthodox organizations like Beit Hillel.) If you are in NY there are bound to be opportunities for you to learn Gemara (if you want to take a class or learn with a chavrusa rather than learning on your own.)
You may be interested this quote from the Lubavitcher Rebbe. It parallels what you are saying about your own life. Chabadniks don’t teach Gemara to women as far as I know, but they are encouraged to learn Ayn Yaakov, and the Rebbe taught that their obligations in studying chassidus (which is quite conceptually sophisticated) are equal to those of men.
A similar concept applies regarding the subject matter studied by women. Initially, on the whole, women were not exposed to those aspects of Torah study which were not related to their actual performance of the mitzvos. At present, however, the sphere of subjects women study has been expanded and includes even abstract concepts that have no immediate application.
This is also a result of sociological influences. Within the context of our society, women are required to function on a more sophisticated level than ever before, occupying professional positions that require higher knowledge. To prepare themselves for such activities, they should develop their thinking processes in Torah, training themselves to think on an advanced level within the framework of Torah. This will set the tone for their behavior in the world at large.”
Breslovers don’t eat raw onions. This is based on Rebbe Nachman’s family tradition (mentioned in one of his seforim) from the Besht (his great-grandfather) that one should not eat raw onions.
Don’t hate yourself! Once you’ve done teshuvah — felt remorse, asked forgiveness, resolved not to do it again, and really didn’t do it again — there’s nothing to be ashamed of! Teshuvah actually rectifies the past. It is even taught that it turns sins in merits. So the effect on your neshamah really has been reversed. When you remember what you’ve done or seen, don’t beat yourself up about it — just remind yourself that everything has happened for the good, and thank Hashem for allowing you to do teshuvah. If you like, pray in your own words (including doing teshuvah and asking that any potential lingering negative effects be eliminated) for a few minutes each day, and then as (as Rebbe Nachman teaches) be happy the rest of the day. Here are a couple relevant quotes:
“God’s greatness is unfathomable: that is why Teshuvah has such power. No matter how far you may have fallen – be it to the lowest depths – never despair, because you can always return to God. With just a little effort you can turn even your worst sins into merits. No matter where in the world you fall, you can easily come back to God. This is because of His unfathomable greatness. Nothing is beyond His power. Just never give up! Keep crying out, praying and pleading to God at all times.” Sichot Haran #3
“You should tell God everything you feel, be it contrition and longing to repent over the past or requests and supplications to come truly close to God from now on, each person according to his level.
Be very careful to get into the habit of spending time every day on your personal prayers and meditation. Fix a regular time for this and then be happy for the rest of the day!” Likutei Moharan II 25
There was a similar thread on more or less the same topic. This is part of what I wrote there:
“Many gedolim of recent and ancient times have had two names. Among them are the Tur (13th century), the Kli Yakar (16th century), the Minchah Belulah (16th century), the Baal HaTanya (18th century), the Degel Machane Efraim (18th century). Not only did Rav Elyashiv have two names, but at least one of his own children did (probably more — I just couldn’t find their names).”
It sounds weird but there are some recent studies suggesting that sitting itself is rather harmful physically. Google the words sitting and dangerous to health and you’ll get a bunch of news stories discussing this topic.
Internet addiction may not be deadly (though I read of a couple whose baby died because they were compulsively playing video games and didn’t take care of the baby), but it can be very destructive and should be taken seriously.
In the 1950s, the Conservatives issued a “takanah” cancelling all the marriage restrictions for kohanim. Of course, these are Torah, not rabbinic mitzvos. So while I’ve never heard of a Conservative shul having havdalah on Shabbos morning, I wouldn’t be surprised about it based on the fact that it’s in violation of a d’oraises.
What does bother me about many of these organizations is that they actually kills thousands of animals. If the cats or dogs aren’t adopted within a few weeks, they are often killed (“euthanized.”) It’s like holding the animals hostage — adopt this puppy now or it’s dead [cue throat-cutting hand-motion]!
A growing movement, however, of “no kill” shelters has emerged, which only kill the animals in very unusual circumstances, such as when the animal is extremely aggressive or is about to die anyway.
Popa, some poskim (I believe R’ Ovadia Yosef is among them) permit spaying and neutering, though you’re correct that it’s generally prohibited.
I think the basic assumption behind Curiosity’s posts — that it is somehow wrong and against the Torah to promote gemilus chasadim against animals — is wrong. We may or may not be actually required to go out of our way to be kind to animals and help relieve them from suffering, but I think there’s no question that it’s a praiseworthy act. I don’t think you can find a single major rabbinical statement saying that it is wrong to rescue abused or neglected dogs and cats and take them in as pets.
On the contrary, the rabbis have always acknowledged that compassion for animals is an admirable trait. There are many stories of great tzaddikim assisting animals in various ways.
As the Ramak said in Tomer Devorah, one’s “mercy should extend to all creatures, neither destroying nor despising any of them. For the Supernal Wisdom is extended to all created things- minerals, plants, animals and humans. This is the reason why we were warned against despising food. In this way man’s pity should be extended to all the works of the Blessed One just as the Supernal Wisdom despises no created thing for they are all created from that source…”
Of course, it would be absurd to spend all of one’s time helping animals and neglect to help any people, as if only animals were worth helping. But there’s nothing wrong with specialized organizations dealing with particular issues like animal welfare. Your assumption that this has something to do with animal rights is incorrect — a concern for animal welfare is different than animal rights.
Actually, Orthodox Jews in Israel, among them a well-regarded rabbi who was responsible for a lot of Israel’s privatization, recently started an organization dedicated to promoting compassion for animals in Orthodox communities. I think this is a great thing, despite all the other important things people should be working on, because whenever there’s a neglected mitzvah or area of concern, people need to be paying attention to it and working on it. We are supposed to follow the whole Torah, not just the parts that happen to be most fashionable to focus on in any particular generation.