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To me, yes, kind of British sounding. I’m sure there were a lot of White Anglo Saxon Protestants with that name…
Joseph, that may be another reason why Jews a couple generations ago used names like “Norman” and “Sidney” and such — they are unmistakably WASPy but at the same time have no specific Xian connotation, like Patrick or Peter or Paul.
Sorry, I meant “I wouldn’t think it’s forbidden or a horrible thing to do.”
Avi K, the reason Jews used such names (Norman, Morris, Arnold, etc.) is that they sounded sophisticated and upper-class to people at that time. It probably helped with upward mobility (and assimilation as well).
To answer Lightbright, I don’t know any gerim or born Jews who have done that, and I wouldn’t think it’s a good idea (for the identity-related reasons you mention), though I would think it’s forbidden or a horrible thing to do.
Nowadays, when there is no little anti-Semitism compared to the past, and so much assimilation, Jews should give their children Jewish names, instead of having two names, as people did in the past.
Chabad has the minhag to specifically eat mezanos before davening. Other chassidim may be lenient as well; I don’t know. But traditionally Breslov has been strict — Rebbe Nachman and Reb Noson were careful not to drink even water or coffee before davening.
Some people probably daven Shacharis at home and make kiddush and then have a snack before coming to shul on Shabbos, but then of course you don’t get to daven with a minyan for Shacharis.
I think I’ve heard people say you’re allowed to eat before Shabbos davening if you would get weak without food, but I don’t know if there’s a non-chassidic posek who rules that way (for a regular healthy person.)
Another independent Breslover here! I know you said you’re not affiliated with Chut Shel Chesed, but I recommend calling up R’ Lazer Brody anyway and asking his advice about where to move. He knows all of Israel very well and may give you a good idea of where you would fit in.
Since you work full-time and are independent-minded, I wonder whether you might enjoy being in a mixed dati-leumi/chardali/charedi area (as opposed to a mainly charedi area), perhaps with some baalei teshuvah and Chavakuk (Chabad-Breslov-Kook) types. Not sure where that would be. Just a thought. Hatzlacha!
You can see the website for yourself, but from what I remember it was about RBS, not BS, and it basically said nobody’s making aliyah to Bet, so it’s unclear if they included Bet (or Gimel). I don’t know where they get the stats — it could be off the top of their head.
According to Nefesh B’Nefesh, RBS is only about 20% Anglo.
Of course, you can daven for someone to do teshuvah; one famous example of such a prayer that was successful is mentioned in the Gemara (Brachos 10a.)
It is become common nowadays to learn Torah, recite Tehillim, give tzedakah, or do another mitzvah on another’s behalf. (This has a logic behind it, but it seems to be a recent invention without ancient sources, and some question whether it works.) So you could dedicate a certain amount of Tehillim or learning to a person, with the prayer that the merits of your actions prompt Hashem to accept your prayer that the person repent.
Trust me, this book is completely different. Don’t worry whether she will read it — regardless, read it yourself (the men’s version, called Garden of Peace.) It is amazing. Simply by following the advice of the book you will likely find that your shalom bayis problems are soon over and she is no longer requesting a get (even if she never reads a word of the woman’s version.) The same has happened to many people. It may sound too good to be true but it is not — I am 100% serious. Hatzlacha!
First–and I mean this quite seriously–drop everything, buy the men’s and women’s version of Rav Shalom Arush’s shalom bayis book The Garden of Peace, give the woman’s version to your wife, and both of you read and implement the book as if your life depended on it. This book truly works wonders and has saved many marriages. If you do this you won’t have to read on to number two…
Second, think about what you’re doing. You’re “not religious,” but you want to use the weapon of withholding a get to force your wife to stay with you?
I don’t know your situation, but in general it’s highly unethical to refuse for years on end to give a get when the wife is disgusted with you and is not going to change her mind. Many halachic authorities would say it’s required to give a get under such circumstances.
You want us to help you manipulate the halachic system by forum-shopping so you can prevent your wife from leaving or remarrying? Why would we do that? The Torah tells us to free the oppressed. Even an “unreligious” person can understand the enormous moral value of that.
Just because something is not legally required (according to some opinions) doesn’t mean it’s the ethical thing to do.
Some chassidim, such as Breslovers, are makpid about davening before zman tefilah. Rebbe Nachman taught that it was important to abide by every word of the Shulchan Aruch. For that reason, when the Chofetz Chaim’s son became interested in chassidus, he counseled his son to associated with Breslovers.
I don’t see why it wouldn’t be acceptable to pray to Hashem for a husband with healthy eating habits who is not overly dependent on his wife to eat healthy.
The fact is, a certain number of men 1) have no clue about cooking, and/or 2) are extremely picky and only like a few foods, like ones associated with men like meat and potatoes. However, nowadays there are many men who like to cook, including vegetables, and who eat all kinds of vegetables all the time. In fact, there are even frum vegetarians (or near-vegetarians.)
You can try to find a husband who loves veggies and knows how to cook, and I’m sure there are many such men out there. But even if you don’t, as you mention, perhaps that is something you will contribute to the relationship — healthy food and other habits.
Unfortunately, many men today eat a standard American diet and have little exercise, resulting in shortened lives through cancer, heart disease, obesity and diabetes (and, I would, add, a less sharp mind and earlier mental decline, damaging one’s ability to engage in Torah study and prayer to the best of one’s ability). It is alarming how many men have large pot bellies by the time they’re in the 30s or 40s. But many men are more health oriented and realize they need to exercise and eat differently.
In Judaism we are commanded to take care of ourselves very much (“meod meod”), so it certainly makes sense to eat a lot of vegetables and exercise, as previous generations always did before the last century or so. May Hashem find you a match that is compatible with you in every way and who lives a long healthy life with complete shalom bayis!
Mazel tov! There is a custom to recite the entire book of Tehillim on your wedding day, so reciting it in the few days before would also seem to be a good idea.
In addition, some have the practice (not just before weddings — all the time) of constantly reciting certain pesukim having to do with bitachon (such as Tehillim 84:12, the recitation of which is mentioned in the Yerushalmi (Berachos 5:1).)
I heard my Rav say one should be consistent between nusach and tefillin (at least in terms of ksav). But assuming Torah is the Best is correct about Rav Moshe, then it’s OK.
In general, it’s not unusual for gerim and baalei teshuvah to end up with inconsistent minhagim. It’s best to have one consistent set of minhagim, but sometimes exceptions happen, especially during the process of becoming observant.
What? Telling someone to “get a life” is not an insult? That’s pure negativity.
Thank you for clarifying which post.
lesschumras’ posts in this thread should be deleted, since they are insults. Would a comment like “[Commenter X] is a jerk!” be approved?
That is not what his post says and no, such a post would not have been approved. Being naive, as in underexposed, is hardly an insult.
Not their ideas, but the idea that ruchniyus is important.
Another consideration is social liberalism. In the NY area the goyim are mainly social liberals, who think traditional religions like Yiddishkeit are “bigoted” because of our views about certain things. The goyim in CA are even more socially liberal.
This may not be a problem in frum neighborhoods so much, but I might worry about raising children in a region of the country that is even more prejudiced against traditional religions, because by osmosis the children could absorb it and have less enthusiasm for Torah-True Yiddishkeit. It’s possible to have socially liberal political positions and be a frum Yid but it’s kind of a contradiction, so I’m sure it’s not easy.
Yes, but it’s interesting that they dropped R’ Slifkin’s books (one of which was recently published by OU press, by the way, which shows his views are considered normal within MO) but kept other material about an ancient universe. Aish HaTorah is a charedi yeshivish organization. If the only permissible charedi Yeshivish view was that the world is literally less than 6k years old, Aish would be acting much differently.
The only way you can tell is by spending time there and getting to know people.
That said, on the West coast the goyim are more open-minded and more into the idea of spiritual growth and things like that, compared to the East Coasters. So it’s conceivable that influences the Yidden as well.
It’s still Rav Moshe. 🙂
R’ Kaplan is not the only one to sanction belief in an ancient universe (or to believe that the six days of creation were not literally six days). These include, for example, Rambam, R’ Eli Munk, and R’ Dessler.
In addition, in reaction to a controversy regarding Dr. Schroeder of Aish HaTorah, R’ Sternbuch and R’ Weinberg both concluded that belief in an ancient universe was not kefirah. Indeed, Dr. Schroeder’s articles remain on Aish’s website.
R’ Weinberg (and other Aish leaders) were well acquainted with R’ Elyashiv. If the latter held that the ancient-universe view was definitely kefira, then how could they have continued allowing teaching these ideas in Aish? One is certainly not allowed to teach kefira for the sake of kiruv. It must be a valid or at least permissible shittah or the gedolim would have stopped (or denounced) Aish.
benignuman +1
If Rav Elyashiv wanted to do something so momentous as declare a huge percentage of Orthodox Jews as heretics, and a huge percentage of gerim as non-Jews, then he would have done so directly. He was fully capable of speaking for himself.
That’s who I was talking about. R’ Eisenstein backed EJF (he wasn’t the head — that was somebody else). I’ve seen R’ Eisenstein quoted as saying that about gerus in R’ Elyashiv’s name but I’ve never seen independent confirmation that R’ Elyashiv actually said that.
There’s no hard evidence Rav Elyashiv actually held that, but a rabbi associated with him (who backed a conversion organization that dissolved after a disgraceful scandal) has sometimes made that claim supposedly “in his name” or something like that. Sounds like it may be his extrapolation based on what he thinks R’ Elyashiv’s views were. Anyway, even if the rabbi explicitly claimed he heard that from Rav Elyashiv’s mouth we are not obligated to believe it. There is no rule to trust every askan.
Anyway, to answer DM’s question, we don’t know if the gerus was valid at the time so we should err on the side of loving him (does that mean deleting this thread? probably), while at the same time not compromising on the truth. Think about it: if frum Jews were to befriend him, or at least treat him kindly, and speak to his heart and influence him to change his views, and he actually did so, this would be an enormous Kiddush Hashem. He needs to understand that he can engage in idealistic activism to improve the world (his biggest passion, it seems) without abandoning traditional Torah hashkafah. The same applies to other OO.
Few employers advertise in the newspaper anymore (though certainly respond to ads that are relevant to you). Try websites like Craigslist and Indeed and respond to ads for jobs you’re qualified for.
LB: Good point about internal/external!
LU: You’re welcome! Chocolate does have caffeine (and the stimulant theobromine), so I personally would never eat it at night, but if you’re a coffee drinker you might be used to so much caffeine that the amount in a little chocolate wouldn’t disrupt sleep.
The funny thing is that men should eat a lot of chocolate too (as I’m sure many do), since men are at higher risk of a heart attack, which chocolate seems to help prevent.
Smoking is assur for men, according to nearly all authorities, and is in fact taboo in many communities.
Men’s alcohol consumption is way higher than women’s, for Jews and non-Jews alike.
It’s possible women eat more chocolate, but it’s actually pretty good for you (especially dark chocolate.)
AJAnon: I’m sorry to hear about your ex’s abuse, but I’m glad to hear you’re remarried. May Hashem bless you and your family with shalom bayis and refua shleima from the abuse you all have suffered.
Regarding the title of your post: I highly doubt there are rabbis who regularly post in this forum who are asked shailas in real life (offline) — such people are too busy to be posting here. Consider asking your Rav or someone like R’ Shais Taub this question, if you feel you need an answer from someone qualified to answer it.
That said, I agree with LU’s second post. In any case, hatzlacha rabba!
If someone smoked for a year or two and then quit I wouldn’t worry so much about the long term health repercussions (though I’m sure they are real). What I would worry about is the possibility that they will smoke again.
If you marry someone who has never smoked, what is the chance they will start smoking later, after getting married? Very unlikely, probably 1% or less.
If you marry someone who used to smoke but quit years ago, what is the likelihood they will start smoking again later after getting married (perhaps when they start getting stressed out with their job or growing family)? Much, much more than 1% — a significant chance.
If you marry someone who used to smoke but quit relatively recently, what is the likelihood that they will relapse and start smoking again? Very high!
Ohio already has school choice. The Jews there are very happy with it. I’m not sure if it influences people to move there, but I bet it does for at least some people. Cleveland has a big frum Jewish community with several schools to choose from and extremely affordable real estate.
You can try taking ibuprofen and buying a pad to put in your shoes. But simply resting and staying off your feet for a few days is probably the only thing that will really cure it. Refuah shleimah!
A non-Jewish neighbor recently used that phrase while talking to me and it didn’t bother me at all. I think it is a commonly used term by religious goyim to describe someone working really hard (based on their exposure to Shemos in their religion).
You’re welcome, Tirtza. I wasn’t suggesting there is sockpuppeting on *this* thread. Instead, I suspected sockpuppeting on this disgusting comments section, full of lashon hara and motzi shem ra which should have never been allowed by the Mods:
LU: You have a point, but the comment section on one of the YWN news articles about Turx is 1000 times worse than anything said in this thread (and it even seems like people are sockpuppeting there, using several accounts by the same person to say more or less the same insulting and/or false things over and over again.) Those comments all need to be deleted, if they haven’t been already.
No known sock puppets in this thread
Eh, in the case of the original Joseph, Yosef haTzaddik, it turned out quite nicely…
Chocolate lentils are just candies — they call them that because they’re shaped like lentils and they can’t say “m&m’s”, not because they have lentils.
Turx knew people were blaming him (someone had asked the anti-Semitism question in an accusing way the day before), and phrased the question explicitly to make clear he was not blaming Trump. But Trump didn’t listen to the question (or let him finish it) and instead assumed it was blaming him, like the question from the day before. That’s one reason why Turx refused to criticize him — he sympathizes with Trump for being falsely accused of anti-Semitism in the past.
It was not a Chillul Hashem. On the contrary, it raised the visibility of the issue of growing anti-Semitism as an issue of national and international concern, highlighted the growing prominent of frum Jews in America, and gave Turx a chance to make a Kiddush Hashem by responding to Trump’s non-answer/attack with good middos, refusing to criticize the president even though he needlessly humilitated him.
People shouldn’t let their pro-Trump partisanship or personal aesthetic preferences cloud their judgment and make them want to publicly heap scorn on a fellow Yid.
YWN should be ashamed of itself for allowing so many hateful comments against Turx on the comments section of its news article about him. There’s no way all that lashon hara and motzei shem ra is appropriate for a frum site. Maybe the gedolim who tried to ban the Internet were right.
LU: I agree with you (about non-Jews’ olam haba), and thanks for mentioning the rabbi’s opinion. I think this is one of those things that is not set in stone, and a range of opinions is possible.
Rambam seems to suggest that someone who doesn’t believe in Hashem will have no afterlife whatsoever. But Tehillim says each person is rewarded according to his deeds, which is the principle on which our Olam Haba is based, and it only makes sense that a just and merciful G-d would do the same for non-Jews.
In addition, I don’t know Rambam’s source for his opinion, but it’s important to point out that for many of the statements in our tradition in which a tanna says “Anyone who does X has no share in Olam Haba,” it is impossible to take it literally, because in that case hardly anybody would have a share. (Who hasn’t embarrassed someone in public at some point, even accidentally?)
Of course, it is also possible that there are additional complexities that we don’t understand (for example, perhaps a non-Jew who violates one of the Seven Mitzvos will have to have another gilgul in order to fulfill it before obtaining an eternal afterlife during which they will be rewarded according to their deeds.)
LB: To answer your question, Presidents like to have high approval ratings because it helps them to advance their agenda. If Congress knows the public is behind the President they may be more likely to pass the President’s preferred legislation, for example. In addition, if the President’s ratings are high, this could prevent his party from losing seats in Congress (or losing control of one or both houses), which often happens at midterm elections, or from losing races at the state level.
As for the specific strategy of having rallies, I don’t know if they’re a good way to increase or maintain public support. But I think the optics of it all may help, since if the public sees him in front of adoring crowds perhaps they will jump on the perceived bandwagon and decide they like him too, despite what they hear from the media.
I actually am not a DT supporter. I’m just trying to answer the question. 🙂
Children, even teenagers, should not have unsupervised Internet access at all. Filters are not perfect. That means no smartphones either. Otherwise they WILL access inappropriate material. At least some will. In the non-Jewish world most have been exposed to such things by the time they’re 10 years old. It’s just too easy to find. Rachmana Litzlan.
Well, yes, it gets over 100 degrees in Texas fairly often in the summer, but everyone has very good AC, and you can still spend a lot of time outside in the summer, especially in the shade, if you plan and dress accordingly.
The Arizal used to tell people who they were in previous lives. The Baba Sali (according to his biography) asked another kabbalist whose neshama he had, and after “looking into it” the rav said it he had Chizkiyahu’s. But I’m not aware of rabbonim who do this now or say we should go to non-Jews for this reason.
We believe in gilgulim so in terms of hashkafa it might not be a problem if it’s done in a secular way (if that’s possible). But the potential to be confused or mislead or tricked by charlatans (or hypnotists who can get you to believe something is real when it’s not) is so big that it would seem to be a really bad idea. Perhaps if someone feels like they have a really good reason to they could get a heter from a Rav.
Maybe Dallas? I’ve heard good things.
There are some frum veterinarians (do a bit of Googling and you’ll see.) I don’t know how they can do it. But I’ve heard some poskim allow spaying and neutering nowadays.
Anyway, I think WinniethePoo is right, that it’s not really a problem in practice; by the time they’re old enough to seriously think about careers they will no what’s not appropriate. There are few non-frum careers anyway that a small kid would know about.
A 2014-15 poll by Pew found that 98% of Charedim agreed that any Jew in the world should be able to make aliyah and become a citizen. 65% of Charedim said that the existence of Israel was necessary for the long-term survival of the Jewish people, and 97% of Charedim said that Israel should give preferential treatment to Jews. 86% of Charedim believed halacha should be law in Israel, and 59% believe all Arabs should be expelled. All these suggest Charedim are happy Israel exists.
The vast majority of Orthodox Jews are pro-Israel, in the sense that they are happy it exists, visit it when they can, and disagree with the people who are criticizing its existence or claiming that it is horribly oppressing the Palestinians.
As to whether they like the government, or think it speaks for them, or has special religious significance, this depends on the individual and the group.
Only a small proportion of Orthodox Jews wish the state had never been created and think that it’s overall a bad thing for Jews and non-Jews.
LB: ZD is right. The Rabbanut only accepts Orthodox conversions, and generally only ones from a certain list.
Litvos: Welcome to the Coffee Room, and I wish you success with your spiritual journey, wherever it leads you. Gerus is often a long process and can be very difficult. Have faith that if it is indeed the right thing for you to convert, Hashem will allow it to happen at the right time. Of course, your own efforts and determination will also make a big difference.
It’s true that some gerim or their children experience discrimination or lack of acceptance, but this doesn’t happen to everyone and depends very much on the community. I personally know gerim who have never experienced discrimination after converting. Gerim often (not always) end up marrying other gerim or Baalei Teshuvah but this is to be expected, as they tend to have more in common.
Rebbe Nachman actually didn’t believe in the concept of a hereditary/semi-hereditary chassidic dynasty. That said, there have been respected Breslov leaders in every generation, which in some respects are similar to the position of a rebbe.
About the Hertz, since it’s an old Orthodox Chumash I don’t think it’s that strange to find it in an MO shul. It’s different than modern chumashim because it’s more academic or literary, with references to Shakespeare and such. The author was probably trying to present Yiddishkeit in a manner that would seem sophisticated to an educated person living at that time period.
I’d be surprised if the shul didn’t have some Artscroll chumashim too, so you might want to see if you can find one and use that instead.