I believe that that Rambam (or another classic source) says that it is forbidden to be angry at all, but one can pretend to be angry if needed, for example to properly discipline children.

From Mishlei to modern rabbonim, there are countless Torah teachings on how important it is to avoid getting angry, and how to do so. We should all review them on a regular basis and work on ourselves to eradicate this evil trait.

Uncle Ben, Chavakuk refers to people who don’t belong to a single chassidus but instead focus on studying Breslov and Chabad chassidus, as well as the teachings of Rav Kook. (Sometimes people include Carlebach in there too.) Popular among some dati leumi in the West Bank. Similar to “neo-chassidus” discussed recently among ba’alei teshuvah in the US.

Avi K, Rebbe Nachman never claimed to be moshiach or greater than Moshe Rabbeinu. People accused him of saying things he never said. At first he had a lot of opposition but for the last few generations Breslovers have been accepted as mainstream charedi Jews.

Breslov is less centralized than other groups because Rebbe Nachman didn’t believe in hereditary rebbes. So there are a number of groups. All are basically normal frum Jews, though one (very visible but small in numbers, probably less than 1% of Breslovers) group is a bit different…

A flip-phone is just a phone. You can text with it, but it’s cumbersome, and there’s not much else to do with it.

A smartphone is much more than that — the entire Internet is there for you to explore, for good or (usually) for bad.

Most people with smartphones waste hours of their day on social media, texting and Internet browsing, which they could be using for important things they’re neglecting, like Torah, davening, tehillim, mitzvos, chesed, sleep, exercise, getting your work done, paying attention to your children, etc. The same goes with people with constant access to the internet due to laptops, etc.

LU, about the untznius images everywhere on the internet, fortunately there is a partial solution for those of us who need the internet for work — you can find browser ad-ons (like Wizimage for Chrome) that automatically block all images.

Libertarian socialism is leftist because its goal is to replace capitalism (that is, the ownership of the means of production by elite capitalists) by the collective democratic ownership and management of capital. It is basically an anti-authoritarian version of capitalism (as are many anarchist philosophies.)

OK, communists suppressed free unions, but if you look at the most leftist democratic countries today, like in Scandinavia, 80% of the working population is unionized. Free unions and economic equality are a major part of leftist economic ideology. So Nazism was leftist in one economic respect but not others, and was rightist in terms of nationalism (and for that matter, social conservatism — they were against toeiva and were anti-feminist and pronatalist.)

People who identify as mainstream conservatives should not feel hurt when people point out the threat from far-right extremism. They have almost nothing in common ideologically (perhaps aside from liking Trump). But for some reason they seem to want to minimize the threat (just as nonviolent leftists are reluctant to acknowledge the real threat from left-wing extremism). It’s a psychological thing, I guess.

We should focus on Torah and mitzvos and our avodas Hashem this world–timeless things of eternal value–and not focus on identifying with and debating all these transient political movements and ideologies.

We would all benefit from reading Koheles every day, not just once a year. Debating politics all day, as many people do nowadays, is truly havel havalim. It is like obsessing over palace intrigues. How much Torah could we have learned instead of squabbling about meaningless details? Rachmana litzlan.

Just as many of the details of tznius are considered dat yehudis instead of dat Moshe (women should dress according to the tznius standards of the community in which they live), it makes sense to adopt the levush of your community, if the vast majority dress a certain way, unless you have a specific levush you are already particular about. “Do not separate yourself from the community.” Avos.

I live in a diverse area, but if I lived in an area where everyone dressed in a certain style I would probably do so as well. It’s not that hard to wear a hat (and velvet kippa, or whatever), as long as it doesn’t bother you and your family. Just a thought!

Hatzlacha with your move and finding the right shul for you!

Health, certainly, anarchism and vigilantism are against the Torah. We need government, and we should criticize lawbreaking and ideologies that encourage it.

But far-right radicals such as neo-Nazis are very violent too, and they actually want us all dead, which is kind of important, because ideas have consequences, and at least sometimes people act on them. They believe in government, but they want to get in power and use it to kill and oppress everyone else. There’s no reason in the world why a frum Jew should defend these people or minimize the threat they pose.

I don’t think Trump is actually a white supremacist, or means to help them, but he is, by (against all available evidence) claiming that the protest was fine moderate people, when in fact it was organized solely by white supremacist groups. He is helping white supremacist groups look more mainstream. For this reason, they are optimistic and overjoyed, and not unreasonably, see a bright future for their murderous ideas.

The mainstream media is also helping them, and has been since the campaign, by giving white supremacists more attention than they deserve.

We should stand with reasonable conservatives like Cruz, Rubio, Shapiro and others (such as the staff of National Revicew) who have the moral clarity to criticize Trump when appropriate and condemn racist groups without equivocation.

It doesn’t say anywhere in the Torah not to criticize the government. In fact, we are told not to get too close to the government, because they only have their own selfish interests in mind and won’t stand by us in our time of need.

Joseph, you are completely wrong. First, the alt-right is made of various groups, many of which are explicitly white supremacist. Second, the rally was organized by white supremacists (both KKK and alt-right “white nationalist” groups.) Look at the wikipedia page. Tons of neo-Nazi groups were involved in organizing the event. The main organizer, Jason Kessler, identifies as a white nationalist. The official poster for the event is full of Nazi imagery.

Joseph, it is not true that the far left has killed more than the far right. A few police officers (such as in Dallas and Baton Rouge) have been killed by people influenced by the more extreme elements of Black Lives Matter. But other than that, there have been no deaths from left wing radicals since the Unabomber in the 1990s. The last time an anarchist killed somebody was decades ago.

By contrast, far-right radicals (sovereign citizens, neo-Nazis, militant pro-lifers) have killed dozens of people since 9/11. (Don’t forget the OKC bombing as well.) You can find lists of these killings on many websites, including the ADL. Examples include Frazier Miller (a white supremacist who shot people at a JCC), Dylan Roof (a white supremacist who killed 9 black people to try to start a race war and bring fellow white supremacists to power), and Wade Michael Page (a white supremacist who killed 6 Sikhs.) Sovereign citizens (anti-government extremists fueled by bizarre conspiracy theories about the history of American law) have killed a number of police officers in recent years, motivated by their radical anti-government ideology.

It’s kind of unfair to call them far-right, because they have almost nothing in common ideological with mainstream conservatives, or even the far right of the Republican party (deporting illegal immigrants is a lot different than killing them all.) But they’re called that for the sake of convenience, because they have some similar ideas (being against some immigration), but simply more extreme. Mainstream conservatives shouldn’t rush to defend far-right extremists, as if they’re somehow on the same side.

Thank you, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, for being 100 times more reasonable than our President. See their recent twitter feeds. Orthodox Jewish conservative media personality Ben Schapiro — thank you as well for being a conservative voice of reason, even though you’ve been the target of so much anti-Semitism.

I would thank Trump for his nice statement denouncing the Klan, neo-Nazis and white nationalists, but the problem is that his statements before and after that statement have made him look like an alt-right white-supremacist-sympathizer.

The fact is, the Unite the Right rally was organized 100% by radical anti-Semitic, racist far-right extremist groups. It wasn’t organized by any “fine people” who are simply concerned about tearing down monuments because of a concern that it could lead to taking down monuments to slave-holding founding fathers like Jefferson.

By strongly implying that most people there were fine people, Trump is giving legitimacy to racists and anti-Semites, and everybody knows it.

The radical left is a real threat, but only far-rightists are likely to commit hate crimes or terrorism against us. We need to be very careful that people in power (like the President!) are not legitimizing them, and helping them recruit more people into their hateful ideologies. Rachmana litzlan.

I think CTLAWYER is right — a lot of OOT schools, especially in small communities, will accept pretty much everyone, regardless of how much you can pay, your level of observance, your academic aptitude, etc. (unless there is a severe disability they can’t accommodate or something).

Chabad community schools are known for taking everyone. Perhaps this is a task for the next generation of shluchim looking for something new to do — start high schools that will accept those who get rejected elsewhere, but which are run in a way that is acceptable to Yeshivish and other non-Chabad families?

Rabbi Shais Taub’s column in Ami last week was about this issue, and if I remember correctly he basically suggested that schools should accept everyone, even if it seems they might not have the room or the resources needed to help that students, since after all schools are meant to help individuals, not to help the institution itself.

This is fake news. Turns out the DOJ is suing about claims universities discriminate against Asians, not against Whites.

1. How many carjackings and home invasions have there been? If there have only been one or two or a small handful, then it may not reflect overall crime trends. People have a tendency to make faulty judgments about overall facts based on one case.

As for the home invasions, did they occur when the homeowner opened the door to a stranger (as happened in at least one case)? If so, don’t do that and the chance of it occurring to you are very low. Home invasions are relatively rare. If there were home invasions on my block every week, I would certainly get a gun, but if the risk is far less than that, the risks may outweigh the benefits.

Overall, statistics show that people with guns in the home are far more likely to die from suicide or being shot by others in the house than to shoot an intruder. Think about it — even if you had a gun, how likely would it be that you had time to grab it during a home invasion, unless you wore it on a holster at all times (not recommended!) or had several guns planted in various locations throughout the house (not recommended!)?

2. Think about moving elsewhere — there are many frum communities with far less crime than Baltimore. Anyway, you can check the block by block crime stats — perhaps you’re already in a safe area of Baltimore.

3. Take normal precautions applicable everywhere, like always leaving your house and car doors locked, avoiding dangerous areas, not going out late at night, not getting in disputes with people in public such as while driving, staying away from places with people who are drunk or on drugs, etc.

RebYidd and Moshe, it is certainly possible to get drunk on beer, as countless people can attest. Depending on your weight, how fast you drink, what you’ve eaten, your alcohol tolerance, your personal sensitivity to alcohol, etc., it is possible to get drunk on much less than 6 beers. We should be less worried about alcohol poisoning per se (which is rare anyway unless people are chugging vodka or something), but rather getting drunk and committing aveiros or doing something dangerous and getting hurt.

Thanks for this series, Joseph. I like his answer on vegetarianism. Here’s another one on vegetarianism (by the Sdei Chemed):

From R. Chaim Chizkiyahu Medini, Sdei Chemed, Inyan Achilat Basar (translated by R. Dovid Sears – The Vision of Eden, Orot 2003):

On the subject of eating meat nowadays, our master [R. Chaim Benveniste] in his Knesses HaGedolah (Yoreh De’ah 28) citing the Rashal, states that we may rely upon the Ri and the Ran, and eat meat for the sake of bodily nourishment, and not afflict ourselves at all. However, the Chida [R. Chaim Yosef David Azulai] in his Chaim Sha’al, 43:6, states: “It all depends upon the nature of the individual. If one can afflict oneself in order to atone for one’s sins-for ‘there is no person free from sin’-that is well and good.” As for ourselves, what can we say to this, in such an orphaned generation when the number of our sins is beyond calculation and our plight is almost unbearable, may God forgive us.

This view is shared by [R. Raphael Pinchas Yehoshua DeSegura] in Os Hi L’Olam, 63c. Here we find support and justification from a well known sage, may the Merciful One protect and sustain him, who for many years abstained completely from eating meat. Heaven forefend that anyone disparage him; happy will be his lot. He abstained even from wine, except when performing a religious precept (e.g., Kiddush, Havdalah, or the Four Cups of the Passover Seder meal). It has been said that all of a person’s labor is for the sake of food; therefore, gluttony often leads to transgression. We have already cited the words of the Ari [R. Yitzchak Luria], “Happy is the person who is able to abstain from meat and wine all week long.” Also note [R. Yehudah Tiktin] in Ba’er Heitiv on Orach Chaim 134:1, sec. 3: “There is an accepted practice not to eat meat or drink wine on Monday and Thursday, since the Heavenly Court is then sitting in judgment… Happy is the person who is able to refrain from meat and wine the entire week.” Also see Yakhel Shlomo on Orach Chaim 529:2.

It is true that [the Talmud states] that on the Sabbath one dines on meat and wine. However, that is a person’s right, not his obligation. Our sages taught, “One should eat on the Sabbath just as on a weekday [in order to avoid taking charity]” (Shabbos 118a). [Therefore, the consumption of meat cannot be construed as obligatory.] This is also the ruling of [Rabbi Moshe Isserles] in Darkei Moshe on Yoreh De’ah 341. In Reishis Chochmah [the classic introduction to the Kabbalah by R. Eliyahu de Vidas] (129b) there is a lengthy discussion that concludes that one should not consume the flesh of any living creature. And [R. Eliyahu HaKohen of Izmir] in Shevet Mussar, 192a, states that meat is only permitted to a perfectly righteous person. However, all this only pertains to the devout, and a common person is not actually forbidden to eat meat. Nevertheless, we have learned that it is correct to refrain from doing so if one is able to endure privation. Such an individual is considered mighty and holy. Also note Kerem Shlomo on Yoreh De’ah (chap. 1), which explains at length that there is no actual religious duty to consume meat and wine even on the Sabbath or Festivals.

I have recently seen the Kabbalistic work Shiur Komah by Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, and one of my students, who shall always remain dear to me, has shown me page 84c regarding the transmigration of the soul into the vital spirit of an animal. [There it states,] “Thus a conscientious person should avoid eating meat, as it is possible that the soul of a wicked person may cleave to him – sometimes hastening his death.” The editor adds: “In the light of this, one should never eat meat unless the divine mysteries have been revealed to him, and he knows that it does not contain the reincarnated soul of a transgressor. Similarly the Ari in Sha’ar HaMitzvos, in the Torah portion Eikev, cautions us not to eat much meat for this reason. He adds that certainly one must never consume the heart of any animal, beast, or bird, as therein dwells the life force”.

It is definitely not prosecutors’ “job” to overzealously seek convictions — that is just the messed-up macho culture that results from our system. Their actual job, as defined by the relevant laws and codes of ethics, is to seek justice (that is, decline to prosecute if you don’t think he’s guilty, or seek only the punishments the person really deserves and that would be most fair or best for society.) A Rav told me that the reason he’s against the death penalty in America is because prosecutors see themselves as having a stake in the outcome and getting a conviction and the sentence they want. This is great contrast to the Torah system, in which there is no prosecutor and the court (which is neutral and has no stake in the outcome), is in charge of determining the facts.

Haimy, from what you’re saying it sounds like it’s very important both for the underperforming rebbeim themselves and children that they are fired. A multi-million dollar fund may be unrealistic. So perhaps the solution is 1) make sure that menahalim know it is important to fire them, 2) encourage the community to help find them new employment, such as through an informal network of frum employers who can set them up at least with temporary jobs while they look for a new profession. The fact is, there are plenty of jobs that pay at least as well as rebbi positions that don’t require any college degree or more than a few months of training. Many frum people without college educations are very happy working in kashrus, business (including starting their own), real estate, computers, office jobs, various government jobs, even the trades. It completely normal nowadays to switch careers mid-life; few non-Jews nowadays work in the same field their entire career.

A multi-million dollar fund is not needed at all. There is a simple solution: to have the guts to do what’s right and fire the underperforming rebbis.

What do you mean they have no place else to go? Surely Hashem will provide for their livelihood somehow. There are hundreds of schools to apply for other teaching positions, and there are hundreds of other potential jobs that do not require a college degree.

Maybe Hashem’s plan is that a rebbi is fired and then goes into business and is known mainly for his tzedakah rather than his contributions to chinuch? Maybe he will then become independently wealthy and become a full-time learner? Everything Hashem does is for the best, even going into a line of work that one is not suited for and having to switch careers at midlife.

“I sometimes find it very difficult to justify asking for anything when my very existence is the result of not following the mitzvos and that, because of this, I am a completely wicked person with no opportunity to actually go back and correct matters.”

I don’t understand. Your father was a non-Jew, or your parents didn’t observe Taharas haMishpacha? Why would you think such things make you a wicked person? Every person has the potential to overcome their yetzer hara and become close to Hashem. After all, each person is judged according to their deeds (Tehillim), and according to the effort is the reward (Pirkei Avos).

“God takes pride even in the most insignificant Jew, even in the sinners of Israel, so long as they go by the name Jew. There is a special pride which God takes in each individual Jew. One should therefore never despair of God’s help regardless of any wrong one may have done. God’s love for him will never cease, and he can still return to God. T he main thing is to be attached to the Tzaddik and his followers, because they possess the ability to uncover the goodness and glory which is present even in the worst people and return everything to God” (Likutei Eitzos).

“When you consider the utter greatness of God and His unfathomable exaltedness, the merest movement, the merest glance of ours which is slightly out of place in relation to the glory of God, should make us liable to whatever we should be liable to, God forbid. But He is filled with love and the whole world is filled with His kindness. God desires this world very greatly. So my beloved friend and brother, my very soul and heart, take courage and trust in God. He will not abandon you. Whatever you experience is all for your good. Rely upon God’s abundant love, which is absolutely without end. There is no limit to the greatness of God. Somehow everything will be transformed to good. Even the intentional sins will be transformed into merits. Only remain firm” (Ibid)

“Prayer helps for everything. Even if a person is unable to study Torah he will be able to do so if he prays for it. Everything good can be attained through prayer: Torah, devotion, holiness… everything good in all the worlds. Amen” (Ibid.)

Ubiquitin: Your comments illustrate my point — that it would be very difficult to overturn, given disagreements within conservative (even charedi!) circles on this point.

There is no official definition for conservative. So the idea that no true conservative would support these laws is false. In fact, nearly every state had such laws before a few decades ago. According to your definition there would have been no true conservatives until recent times.

Lawrence should be overturned because each state should have the right to make its own decisions about how to treat controversial issues. If Lawrence and Obergefell were overturned, then some states would have toeiva marriage, some would have civil partnerships, and some would have no civil partnerships and actually outlaw toeiva practices. I would guess that about 20 states would have toeiva marriage, 20 states would have civil partnerships but no marriage, and maybe 5 or 10 states (Alabama, Mississippi, etc.) would make toeiva illegal again (while of course it would be rarely if ever enforced).

It is not true that laws are only to be enforced. According to some Tannaim in the Gemara there are laws in the Torah that were never enforced, such as the rebellious son. The Gemara also makes clear that even the death penalty was rarely if ever applied, strongly suggesting that the purpose for the various death penalties is to show us the importance of the mitzvah rather than to actually require us to carry out executions.

RebYidd, the halacha is that non-Jewish governments are required to outlaw toeiva. It is one of the Seven Noahide Mitzvos. In any case, nearly all laws involve morality and ethics.

It’s extremely unlikely Lawrence will be overturned, and it isn’t all that important (though the symbolism would make easier for Torah values to flourish in this country.) What’s important is overturning Obergefell. Immediately after overturning it (which could easily be done with one or two more conservative justices), half the country would be in toeiva marriage states and half would be in traditional marriage states. This would be good because the general media and politicians would be at least somewhat less likely to treat this as an issue in which you have to agree with the “progressives” or you are a bigot and deserve to be destroyed. Obergefell makes it much harder to live as a Torah Jew and raise children to have a proper hashkafa, because it is hard to hermetically seal ourselves off from all influence from popular culture. I have no doubt many MO and charedi teens are finding pro-toeiva views online in mainstream news sources and social media and it is turning them against Torah values.

Joseph, unfortunately I believe it’s also considered unconstitutional to enforce laws against adultery. Not that we should actually enforce them most of the time. But think about the case of the horrible website that is meant to facilitate extramarital affairs (millions of people have signed up). A few decades ago the US government would have shut such a website down (if the web had existed back then) in no time. Now they do nothing, and lives are destroyed.

Sorry to hear about the difficulties you’ve experienced, and I hope we hear good news soon! It’s a good idea to find shadchanim would work with special cases, but I would not limited yourself to that — definitely make use of frum dating sites (while of course being guided by your Rav). There are a lot of BTs, gerim and FFBs out there who are single and don’t fit the typical mold — even major family and health problems are fairly common. May Hashem help you find your zivug soon and without difficulty, and give you the emunah and bitachon to get through the whole parshah without getting stressed out!

Sarah, which MO rabbis have put in writing that married women are not required to cover? I was only aware of R’ Broyde’s essay tentatively proposing the potential basis for a heter but not actually paskening that it’s not required.

A rav privately telling a married women not to cover her hair for shalom bayis reasons does not mean it’s not required. When you’re dealing with shalom bayis and especially the issue of married couples when one but not the other is becoming a ba’al teshuvah, leniencies on all kinds of issues (Torah or rabbinic) abound. This is because as a practical matter, if a new BT who had already been married to a chiloni demands to follow all the mitzvos 100% right away, the marriage is over, while if they take things slowly and play their cards right, they can become completely observant by waiting patiently for their spouse to get on board when they’re ready.

Right before a ger finishes their gerus, they are asked if they accept as binding on themselves all the mitzvos, or the entire Torah without reservation, or some such language. If they say yes and mean it, as a normal sincere ger will (and they’re not really thinking at that precise moment, “No, I don’t accept them all, I just accept the mitzvos that people in my community normally follow” or “I don’t really believe in this stuff, I’m just doing this to fit in with the community or get married” or “I only accept those mitzvos I personally believe in” or “I accept all the mitzvos but that one I don’t like”), then the gerus is valid even if they are not 100% observant right after they emerge from the mikvah.

It is possible to accept all the mitzvos as binding without doing them right after the gerus. How do I know this? Because that’s the way gerus was always done in the past! They were taught a little, about a small handful of mitzvos, and then they converted and became observant afterward.

If a ger converted while being confused about what is required and what isn’t (like with headcoverings or whatever), again no problem, as long as they had the sincere general intent to accept all the mitzvos as binding upon themselves.

Of course, normally a ger today should be completely observant after gerus, and if they aren’t it reasonably raises doubts about their intent at the time of gerus. But if for some reason he’s not 100% observant right after gerus for whatever reason, like lack of willpower, lack of knowledge, confusion about what’s required, conforming to the community or spouse or whatever, then that’s unfortunate and wrong (he should have the guts and responsibility to find out what’s required and do it!), but as long as he sincerely accepted all the mitzvos as binding upon himself right before gerus, then his gerus is still valid. Accepting the yoke of the mitzvos doesn’t mean that you commit never to do a single aveira in your entire life — it just means you accept all the mitzvos as binding on you just as they are binding on any born Jew.

You might ask, then why aren’t Conservative gerim valid? As Avi K implied, the main reason is that the rabbis are actually apikorsim and thus are not kosher witnesses.

Neville, it’s not true that the Rabbanut requires all conversions to go through RCA batei din. If you look on the Rabbanut’s list you’ll see there are some independent (non-RCA) charedi-oriented batei din like Toronto and Milwaukee.

LB: “Yeshivah world” is often used to mean “the Yeshivish community.” So, yes, overall it is meant as a Yeshivish website, though they do sometimes have news (like photo essays) about Chassidic rebbes and the general Jewish community, and it seems that many Coffeeroom posters are MO, dati leumi, chassidic, etc. rather than Yeshivish. That is because there is nothing like the Coffeeroom for other non-Yeshivish groups, at least in English.

Today is the yarzheit of R’ Chaim of Volozhin, in effect the founder of the modern Litvish Yeshivah and the ancestor of the Soloveitchik family. Reb Chaim was the author of Nefesh HaChaim, a very mystical and kabbalistic sefer that quotes extensively from the Zohar and other kabbalistic sources that informed chassidus. Although his philosophy focuses more on Torah study, it also includes considerable material about kavanah in davening, meditating on Hashem’s oneness and the fact that “ein od milvado” (there is nothing but Hashem.) So he is an illustration of what I and others were saying — many of the same themes found in chassidus have long been found in non-Chassidic Orthodox Judaism (including Sephardic, I might add) for centuries.

Avram, there are definitely a lot of social conservatives who agree with you and would be more than willing to increase social spending in some ways if that would decrease abortions. A lot of Catholic groups have argued for that, for example, as has a group called Feminists for Life. The Republicans in power may be socially conservative (some are, some aren’t), but other things (like cutting taxes and increasing military spending) are important to them as well, so when they contradict each other, and they don’t want to alienate the “fiscal conservative” part of the party, you’re not going to see extra spending to help with social conservative issues. For example, if the government made sure all poor young men had access to decent jobs, the marriage rate would go way up. But no Republicans want to pay for that…