yummiest cupcake

would it help if i also mention that I’m not looking for a full time learner, but rather someone who is a solid frum guy (ppl tend to think that by working i mean modern- which is sooo off) with middos tovos, someone caring, sensitive toward others, responsible…all that good stuff. when someone asked me what makes me different from all the girls out there, my answer (with confidence to show) was that i’m looking for an earner/learner. they were kinda taken aback, but i was like “does that make me any less frum?????????” i want to be happy in my marriage. i can’t support alone, and my parents can’t afford to support me- even if they could, i wasn’t brought up with such a gross attitude as to expect support from them. i know that if they’d have the means, they would love to support. of course i’ll help support. but i can’t do it alone and be expected to remain so cool calm and collected as i take care of a household, have children…and have to be the supporter myself. it’d stress me out and i wouldn’t have a happy calm household. I think it’s great if a guy realizes that he should help with the support (and did i mention that i also want someone who is machshiv Torah and will set aside time to learn every day? Did i mention that I’m actually frum and want a Torah home, and that I want to bring up children who will grow up having a love for Torah?) I’m looking for you learning guys too. I’ve found a few of you, barely a handful, but i know ur out there so i’m gonna keep looking…

oy- smile19 i feel for you! i’ve been going thru something similar…so i was close with this girl (and she felt rlly close to me, and told me so many times over, in many diff ways-ex: little gifts, notes, emails, shmoozes…so this wasnt just a one way relationship) and same thing suddenly she wants nothing to do with me- she has major emotional issues (i only noticed after we stopped being friends), but i see her almost every day…every time i see her is like another slap in the face. especially when i see her being so nice and acting so friendly to ppl- it hurts me so much.

now, we became friends a little over 2 yrs ago. stopped being friends last november (2012). i can’t seem to let go. it’s so annoying. i feel the same way- i just want shalom. i don’t have to be her close friend anymore- but she’s not just not talking to me- she stares me down, she’s rude to me (now, remember i just mentioned she’s not talking to me…she’s being very rude in other ways. she won’t say thank you to me if i open the door for her. she won’t open the door for me if she sees me standing outside in the freezing cold weather…a bit childish…)but i still can’t let go!

we both tried talking to each other, we started talking nicely…then a few times later it was just nasty. it’s so annoying. i (not often) sometimes come home in tears if something happened (or didn’t happen) b/t us. and the weird thing is this summer she saw me somewhere (we hadn’t seen each other the whole summer) and she was like “hey yummiest cupcake!!!!! what’s up?? how was ur summer?? what’re you doing this yr??” and all that, with a huge smile on her face- then all of a sudden she’s not talking to me again after that. when i asked her about that she said she spoke to me that way totally unintentionally and i have to stop harassing her (her definition of my asking for an apology for all she’s done to hurt me.)

smile19 i feel so bad for you! wish there was some other way we could get in touch and spk abt this privately, but i guess for now this’ll have to do…

i daven for my ex friend every day still, that she’ll become emotionally healthy very soon and that she should be able to lead a genuinely happy healthy wonderful fulfilling life. talk to Hashem, like someone suggested above. I talk to Him very often, and even if i don’t feel like He’s answering me all the time, it makes me feel His presence so much more in my life in general. good luck and keep me posted…