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iluvbeingjewish: There’s good Jewish fantasy out there, check out Avram Davidson or (if you’re Hebrew’s any good) “Ha’Leviatan shel Bavel” by Hagar Yanai.
I think I’m going to head over to Tumblr and commiserate about all these thinprivileged men.
There was a shaila brought to Rav Chaim Kanievsky a few years ago where a girl had the entire pasuk that assurs tattoos including the Shem Hashem tattooed on her arm. She was becoming frum and wanted it removed. I don’t remember the psak.
I know someone in the private sector who deals with Asian imports and travels to Indonesia and China several times a year. If he’s going to be there over a weekend he spends Shabbos in Shanghai or Tokyo.
- HP: Fun series to read, although a bit untznius in later books.
- Discworld: Great series that doesn’t get enough love on CR
- Jewish “novels” that are not by Marcus Lehman: Hated each and every one of them. The contrived plots. The stilted conversations. The predictable “guy becomes frum” tropes. The even more predictable “The Rav was right from the beginning”. The bizarre characters who are super geniuses, know the president personally and work as top secret advisers yet never went to college and learn all day. After years of reading Tom Clancy et al before The Spiders Web started the whole “Jewish technothriller” thing, reading these books is an exercise in pain management.
- Twilight: A girl reading Twilight is roughly the equivalent of a man looking at unb’tznius material. The show a fantasy world of perfect people who can never exist and only serve to make the reader disillusioned with what the real world has to offer in terms of a soul mate. A guy reading Twilight is either funny or sad.
Better question: What does CR feel about the alleged incident where a group of Yeshiva bachurim held a barbeque near Yad V’Shem yesterday?
There already exists one major elementary school which is exclusive for kollel yungerlites children. Even if you have a job as a Rebbi it is difficult to have your children accepted. It can only exist because there is a very well to do family which sponsors it.
There a quite a few very good board games out there that aren’t well known in mainstream communities. Check out the “Strategy Games” section in Barnes and Noble. I play Carcassonne with my wife on long Shabbos evenings. There are others out there that I haven’t necessarily played. Most of these games take no longer than an hour.
- Ticket to Ride: Build train tracks across the US. Very easy to learn and a lot of fun to play.
- Agricola: Every player plays a family of farmers. Every turn you need to ensure that your crops and animals are being tended to, structures are being built and everyone gets fed.
- Alhambra: Compete against the other players to get your palace built bigger than theirs.
- 7 Wonders: Card game involving players collecting cards and using their effects to collect more cards, resources or points in order to build your medieval empire
- Race for the Galaxy: Similar in description to 7 Wonders but with an outer space theme but plays like a different game
- Dominion: Same idea again. Also a vastly different beast
- Kingdom Builder: Players need to build villages by placing houses on a map of a kingdom. The fun part is that how the game is scored, what the map looks like and what special powers there are is basically randomized via picking cards in the beginning.
- Pandemic: Fun co-operative game where everyone needs to work together to stop diseases from spreading across the world. Each player has special abilities that they can use to help one another.
- Small World: Kind of like Risk where each army has different abilities and fights are determined more by strengths than die rolls so there is less of a luck factor.
Most people I know have a graduate degree. I’m not certain what your metric of frumkeit is but the only one I can point out who is less frum is the guy who gave in to his hashkafic issues and went off the derech entirely.
I find what you said to be more offensive than much of the anti-Semitism that I’ve read online. That’s not to say I’m offended. I’m not. I just find it offensive that people are so ignorant that they automatically classify college grads (like myself) as less frum.
I’ve disliked nearly every modern book on Emunah that I could find and read. They almost invariably try to “prove” that the Torah is emesdik using what is mostly junk science. The problem with that approach is that as soon as someone comes up with a way to invalidate that science or logic, the Emunah goes pop!
Emunah comes from within. The only way to strengthen ones Emunah are through personal actions and thoughts. If one is having difficulty with that, speak with a Rebbi or teacher as he/she will be infinitely more helpful than a simple book.
Stay at the Milon Ron. It’s the nicest place that you can get Mehadrin meals and is not a far walk from the Old City.
Friday night keep away from the Carlebach minyan, it’s ridiculously packed and you may end up standing outside on the street.
The real Breslov shul next to the Bais HaChaim is very nice and there is a lot of nice Chassidish singing during davening with a minimum of meshuggenas.
The Ari z”l shuls are also beautiful.
I tuck mine in because my father tucked his in because his father tucked his in because his father tucked his in etc. And not one am ha’aretz in the bunch. Several were big city Rabbonim and at least one major sefer.
That’s simply untrue and “feel good” teenage pseudoscience. Find me a single girl who is considered very overweight that did not trim her weight down when she goes on a diet and sticks to it.
Diets and weight loss/gain are about one thing and one thing only: self control. It’s not your “metabolism”, it’s the jar of cookies that you keep sneaking into for comfort food!
Because nobody wants to eat matzah once there is no mitzva for it. So people run to get the first chametz thing that they can, and it’s usually pizza.
My father was over 50 and very overweight. His father was overweight and had diabetes for the latter half of his life. The doctors told him that he’s going down the same road, so he lost over a hundred pounds in a few months. He simply stopped eating junk food altogether, limited his carb intake to two slices of bread a day, stuck to only diet drinks and stopped eating sugar and oily foods altogether, including salad dressings. He also started walking five miles every day and ten on weekends.
If a fiftysomething year old man very busy and very set in his ways can do it, so can a twentysomething year old girl.
That being said, the shadchan has some serious issues. You should demand that she ask you mechila. It’s simply assur to insult someone by calling them fat.
Going back to my original statement, you still have to work on yourself. If your weight is causing you to have trouble in shidduchim you simply have to ask yourself what’s more important, comfort food or getting married? My Mother in Law always says that there’s no excuse for a young single girl to be overweight.
I’m the default gabbai in a small ba’al habatisch weekday minyan. Finding someone to do glila is the fourth most difficult thing. The three most difficult are, in ascending order:
- Pesicha
- Hagbah
- Mussaf on Rosh Chodesh/Chol HaMoed
This is entirely due to the fact that pretty much everyone books once kedusha is done.
In Europe many years ago, the Kaiser Franz Joseph wanted to know how come the Jews are always so up to date on the news and know everything almost as soon as it happens. He calls in a small town Rav who tells him that the Yidden get their special knowledge from going to the Mikveh in the morning. The next day, he disguises himself and heads to the Mikveh. He toivels and dries off, but no knowledge seems to come to him. As he’s getting dresses on the bench, the guy next to him says “Nu, du hut geherdt? Der Kaiser kimpt!”
Worst. Horoscope. Ever.
??? ??? ??????
Agreed. Coraline was super creepy. His comics are even creepier, but they are very “adult” so not exactly appropriate.
My other favorite Gaiman work, though, is probably his first short story collection (called Candles and Shadows or something like that) that has quite a few non-horror non-fantasy stories which were hilarious and touching.
If he doesn’t change, he will grow up cheating on his taxes and business practices, borrowing more than he can pay, end up either being forced to “make Aliya” or sitting in a “kosher” white-collar prison whining about how the government is anti-Semitic.
I started reading Gaiman after reading Good Omens. Interesting author, my favorite book so far is American Gods.
yentapesha: We started playing the blame game when we opened this thread and read the first post. Sure there are things that bachurim do that are wrong and could easily be corrected. But I hear it all the time “Boys just need to understand…”. Maybe for once we can talk about all the things that girls do wrong and the problems it causes in the Shidduch world.
To be non-PC I believe that the bachurim get a ridiculously unfair share of the blame thanks to the fact that most Shadchanim are women and mothers are usually more involved in shidduchim than fathers.
Then we can move on to the problems that Shadchanim and parents cause that contribute to the Shidduch Crisis. Because believe me, they deserve 10 times the blame that the bachurim are getting.
Let’s give a better hypothetical: Let’s suppose that there is a bill in the Knesset that would allow a person after five years in Yeshiva to enter into a Chareidi version of National Service for a year and then be patur. Will the Chareidim support the bill or will this be an uproar with people claiming that the Evil Zionists are ripping Talmidei Chachamim from Yeshivas?
I’m sick and tired of shadchanim and other well meaning people blaming all the issues on the boys. Why don’t we come up with a list of common maidlechkeit things that we would like to see in girls?
- The girl come down not more than five minutes after the boy enters the house. No bachur is that interesting that the parents need to speak with him for a quarter hour before introducing their daughter.
- Girls should not be dishonest with the boy. If there is something that they want, they should ask him instead of getting upset about it later. He’s not a mind reader and he probably hasn’t been married before, so give him a little leeway in figuring out what you want.
- Girls should be honest with the shadchan. If something bothers her, she should say so. The shadchan must pass this on to the boy. Obviously if there is something that he needs to improve upon himself, he’s not going to get any better unless someone tells him.
- Girls should not be so into looks. Shaving with a kosher shaver can be difficult. Just because he has a scab on his face and bits of hair in his nose, doesn’t mean he’s a slob.
- The boy may have driven far to pick you up. Have a bit of derech eretz in what he wants to do. He may not want to drive far for the date and he may want to go to a place where there are drinks.
- This is crucial: Listen to everything your mother says, but take it with a grain of salt. She wants the best for you, but often times a normal mother can turn into Mrs. Helicopter when it comes to picking out the perfect guy for you.
- He may want to go to work right away with no time in kollel. There is nothing wrong with that. Same goes with college.
- If there is something about him that would be a deal breaker for you (i.e. Not interested in going into Chinuch or parents are Ba’alei Teshuvas) find out before you go out and waste everyones time
- Did I mention communication with the shadchan? Communicate with the shadchan. If you feel uncomfortable communicating with him/her, then he/she’s obviously not a good shadchan for you and a better one should be found.
WIY: And get the band name wrong.
Please. Everyone knows that Sushi was invented by two Yidden who opened up a restaurant on the Lower East Side but couldn’t afford an oven.
According to the other parts of the Gemara which you apparently have not yet gotten up to marriage is a very big deal, enough that the mere simcha is a D’Oraysoh and can be docheh a mitzvas loh sa’aseh in several circumstances.
If it’s treated like a business contract, then the marriage itself is treated like a business partnership.
[redacted] feel that [redacted] when [redacted] doesn’t the [redacted] with a hedgehog who cannot be [redacted] at all. So [redacted] feelings that [redacted][redacted][redacted][redacted].
[redacted]
Brooklyn and Manhattan are ridiculously expensive, but I’ve heard that there’s a significant sized frum single community in Queens and Five Towns.
???? – Shalsheles (from the second album)
(I think I’m going to follow the Way of the Wolf and sign my postings from now on because I just love myself too much)
The Yserbius
Agree on (1) and (2). I see no reason that the Knesset should be geographical based, I think the current system is fine.
Real peace with the Palestinians. Let them have Gaza and declare it a Palestinian State. It’s not like Israel wants it anyways. Come up with some sort of plan to give them the West Bank and Natzeret but keep Gush Etzion and Beitar. (We don’t need the rest. Set everyone up with cheap housing in the Negev.) Get the US to agree to send troops over to keep the peace for the at least next decade until all terrorists are dead or in jail and there has been no violence for three years. Put the Old City and surrounding area under UN control.
I have a weird degree of confidence in a Chareidi Knesset. Once there is no longer the need to have a “Jewish State” due to the unpopularity of religious and secular Zionism in the Knesset there should be less of a problem giving up settlements.
I think 3 out of the first 5 posts were censored. I even had a 100+ comment topic closed. Then I learned the rules, no outside links and keep controversial opinions to yourself.
Eragon was a fun series of books but I wouldn’t compare it to HP. It used too many cliches and followed the standard “Hero’s Quest” of fantasy books a little too closely. Also, a big chunk of books 2 and 3 were dead boring.
“I Do Not Believe In Gods” said Dorfl “I Challenge You To A Debate.” A bolt of lightning stuck him directly on the head, melting his watch badge. “That Was Cheating”.
“You’re insane!” Said Rincewind to Twoflowers in his native tongue (A poor translation. What he actually said was “You are one who wears wet copper armor and stands at the top of a hill in a rainstorm saying that Umquorra the Goddess of Lightning has a face like a beet root”)
Thunder rolled. It rolled a six.
Lightning cracked. Three darkened figures stood over a boiling cauldron. “When shall we three meet again?” one cackled. “Tuesday’s fine with me, I have babysitting tomorrow” said a perfectly ordinary voice.
I wonder if the European Yeshiva bachurim had a similar conversation when seforim became cheap and you no longer needed a different bachur to memorize every mesechta.
Find me an app that can explain what the machlokes the Shach and the Taz had and why it relates to a sugya in Nezikim.
Rule #18: Never ever forget rule number one!
Small Gods, Men at Arms, Reaper Man, Interesting Times or Masquerade. I’m old fashioned like that with my favorites being one of every series that I’ve read in high school. I’ve also read The Long Earth more out of loyalty than anything else. Let’s do a favorite quotes thread!
- Why the platypus?
- “It’s a rhetorical question, like what’s the sound of one hand clapping!” “CL. THE OTHER HAND MAKES THE AP.” “Yeah, er, wot?”
- Wait, was that store that was always there for as long as you can remember, always there for as long as you can remember yesterday?
modchebp: Maybe you should start on the mothers, telling them that they don’t need a daughter-in-law with “perfect” Barbie-like proportions and putting unrealistic ideas of a “perfect” girl into their sons heads.
Or maybe shadchanim should stop catering to those same mothers and start treating boys and girls equally with no regard to yichus, money and looks.
Because what’s to discuss? A terrible tragedy happened. If someone wants to start a Mishnayos initiative for the Niftarim, then gezunteh heit!
snowbunny3318: Did you look into other seminaries that may be more accommodating, or is your decision made? I believe Nevei has a lot of experience dealing with girls from all sorts of backgrounds, both financial and educational.
Whatever your decision is, I wish you all the best!
Kanoi: Of course more Yidden died in Israel since 1948 than the 100 years before. There were more Yidden in Eretz Yisroel!
What everyone is trying to say is that the myth that Jews and Arabs got along hunky dorey before the evil Zionists came along is just that, a myth. It’s generally perpetuated by sonei Yisroel to “prove” how the Jews are the cause of their own suffering. Needless to say, have you ever noticed how the original neighborhoods of Meah Shearim and Geula look like forts? There’s a reason for that. Arab marauders were fairly common when they were built and nobody had any fantasies about them leaving the Yidden alone.
As a kid I’ve always hated sports. Still don’t play. I regret nothing, but it sure is a lot of fun and good health if you aren’t lousy like me!
Mobe613: If you think that whatever problems people are having with Facebook involves people from other walks of life, you are severely naive.
haifagirl: I feel like I’ve started a fight on something that I don’t really understand.
Health: Thanks a lot. I guess I didn’t realize how prevalent the issue is. Still, I believe that if a person wanted to do an aveira 15 years ago, he didn’t need the Internet. It’s possible that it’s common to use Facebook as a heichi timtza, but I doubt that the divorce rates are any higher because of it.
The problem with the shidduch/dating world is our attempt to apply a “best fit” practice to something that nothing will really fit.
In an ideal world, dating won’t really exist. Everyones’ parents and rebbeim will know them nearly perfectly. Dates will be determined via parents speaking with the other set of parents. The guy and girl will meet for an hour, or so, and the shidduch is decided.
In close knit Chassidish communities, criticize them as you may, this actually works out very well as the people in those communities are generally more products of the community than your average Yeshiva Bachur or Bais Yaakov girl. Meaning, that once a Chassidishe boy or girl is adequately described, you can get a good enough sense of what type of person they are and what type of person they would be good for. In most communities, though, this is far from the case as there is much more variation in what people are doing and want to do with their lives along with variations on Hashkafa.
Unfortunately, due to that high amount of variation, it’s not always so obvious what a guy/girl needs and what they want to do with their lives. This requires a ridiculous amount of investigation and interview which often goes way further than required leading to the problems we face today.
(On a side note, I’ve rarely heard of the legendary boy who wants a Barbie doll in a Bais Yaakov uniform. They don’t really exist as much as people allege they do in most Yeshivas. The mother who wants a Barbie doll as a daughter-in-law is a whole nother ball game)
Health: So people on Facebook do what exactly that leads them to divorce?
Mayonnaise, lemon juice and a single garlic cube.
Can someone explain to me, as if I were a 80 year old Luddite, why Facebook causes divorce?
I consider myself rather tech and Internet savvy. I work in computers, and spend an unhealthy amount of time on the Internet. I can fully understand how looking at and reading inappropriate material can lead a person to very unrealistic expectations in a spouse. (This is not limited to men and pornography. It has been shown that women have similar sorts of expectations that come from certain kinds of “romantic” fiction.) But I just cannot figure out what the deal is with Facebook. I am near-completely ignorant of “Facebook culture” and “Facebook social circles”.
I have a Facebook account, which I check maybe once day. Most of my friends are pretty boring, so I’m not exactly one to talk. But I just cannot understand what people see in Facebook that makes them so unhappy with their lives. You see pictures of your friends going to Israel, new babies, Channukah pictures, you’re chatting with old classmates. I’m not trying to criticize the idea, I’m just trying to understand it.
Bottled water.
I’m looking at you, my wife whom I love and respect very much.