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Why did I go off the derech?
Hmm, spent 12 years in a prestigious yeshivah in flatbush. Spent those same 12 years getting yelled at, berated, humiliated and critized for the size of my yarmulka, the length of my “chup” and the fact that I was “spotted” by a spy going into a pizza shop on friday (gasp) – There is only so much parents can infuse into a child, when 90% of their waking day is spent at school. During those 12 years, I was given 0 (thats ZERO) reason to love Hashem or the Torah, but given 1,000,000 reasons why I was going to gihenim for all my mortal sins, such as eating cholov stom.
Oh, and I know this sounds silly, but in 8th grade, my rebbe started talking to us about the power of saying “amen”, for weeks, he facinated us with stories about how a single person saying amen could change the world, bring moshiach, etc. We really believed it. Then, he announced that we were going to the siyum hashas in madison square garden, and that there would be 40,000 people saying amen at the same time! We were ecastatic, surely moshiach would have to come, if one person saying amen could do that, imagine 40,000. I woke up at 4 AM that morning, I was so excited. When it came time for mincha at MSG I answered “Amen yehay shmay Raba” with the most energy and kavanah I ever had, along with 40,000 other people. Then I waited, and watched, and nothing happened, and I was let down more than you can imagine.
Yes, thats just one story, but as a young impressionable child, you can understand how that disappointment stuck with me.
But more so, why did I go off the derech? Because I was sick and tired of being called a shaygetz for using a bobby pin to keep my yarmulkah on my head.
muchcommonsense – i am glad you bring this up, but sadly, that was not an uncommon event. In areas like boro park and flatbush i routinely see baby carriages outside stores, with the baby’s strapped in, and the parent shopping inside. Sometimes its to place a large order, other times it is to “run in for one second”
Clearly, this is inexcusable. This is child abandonment and reckless. I would not hesitate to call the authorities if i see a baby abandoned outside a store. there is NO excuse, ever. The amount of damage that can be done to a child who is taken far exceeds any commandment to not report a Jew to authorities, or any “embarrassment” for the parent involved.
This is just one of many serious behaviors I have seen from jewish and non jewish alike. We can add this to the list of driving with children not strapped into car seats, driving with a baby on your lap, allowing children to hang onto shopping carts in store (40,000 children go to the ER every year from shopping cart injuries) – just to name a few. How can you claim to love your child, and yet not do everything in your power to protect him?
Children are innocent and not able to protect ourselves. If you wont leave your pile of cash outside the store while you shop, please don’t leave your baby outside either!!
itsprivate: thats the top of the line, it is blazing fast, you will not be disapointed with how well it handles photoshop, dreamweaver and any other program your school requires you to use
Macs are far superior for many reasons. The price argument is false. Would you say a Kia is better to purchase than a BMW since it costs less? A premium product has a premium price. Some people need a computer to do simple tasks, browse the web and balance a spreadsheet. They dont care of the interface, the way the machine looks, or operates, and thats fine.
Some people though want a computer that is a reflection of themselves. They want a computer that looks good, is intuitive and responsive. Look at a dell or hp with its rough edges, unfinished ports and many seams. Then look at a macbook, its flawless design, smooth surfaces, it is almost a work of art. And yes, that IS important in a computer just as many of us want a car look is shiny and new, and would not want to drive around in a “klunker”
As for the intel chip, Max OS X was written for that chip. I have owned a mac for years, and never once has it crashed. Compare that to my pc, that freezes on a daily basis anytime i install something, plug in a peripheral, or run a windows update. If the computer looks good, I also want it to run well. The mac is a pleasure to use. Everything is intuitive. Programs open quickly, features are easy to locate, and its nice to know the operating system and the hardware were made by the same company! The built in webcam in my macbook was made by the same company that wrote the video conferencing software on the computer.
+++++Compare that to the logitech camera you attach to your PC, try to have it communicate with the Microsoft operating system, on a dell USB port, using logitech drivers, and AOL video conferencing software+++
Here is an excerpt from an article from lubavitch on this practice. Can anyone confirm the accuracy of these referencs, and if so, how can we continue to use the chickens if these two great leaders condemn it?
“””Some Rabbis Condemn It
The practice of kapores has created a certain amount of controversy amongst rabbinical scholars. The Ramban, also known as Nachmonides who lived from 1195 to 1270 CE criticized it as a supersticious practice of the Emorites, one of the neighboring pagan peoples to Israel. Later Rabbi Joseph Karo (1488 – 1575 CE) also criticzed the practice in the Shulchan Aryuch (Code of Jewish Law). While there have been communities that do not practice the custom, many of the Rabbinical authorities did support it and encouraged its practice. Despite this controversy, kapores is practiced by many in both Sephardic and Ashkenazic communities.””
Here are some general guidelines for choosing and using a car seat:
1. All car seats sold on the US marke are safe, they all pass strict government guidelines. You should choose a car seat that is easy to use, to ensure it is used properly.
2. Chose a seat that is appropriate for your child’s weight and height.
3. Always follow the installation and usage outlined in the manual. Every seat is different, so do not assume you know the correct way to use and install it.
4. The center of the back seat, facing Rear is the absolute safest place for a baby. Keep the baby rear facing as long as the seat allows. Even though technically, you can make the child forward facing at 1 year and 20 pounds, it is MUCH safer to keep the child rear facing up to the weight limit of the seat. The reason for this is that the most common crashes involve head on, frontal collision. When the child is rear facing, the impact causes the baby to be forced back into the seat, thereby cushioning his body. If the baby were forward facing in this type of collision, his body is propelled forward into the straps. Since a toddlers breast bone is not yet developed, this can cause serious internal injury. So in short, Keep your child rear facing as long as possible, as inconvenient as this might be!!
5. NEVER use any attachments or add-on to the seat unless they came with the seat. This includes toys, straps, cushions, etc. When the car seat is tested for crash worthiness, it is tested without anything interfering with its strap and impact systems. There is no way to know how a car seat will react in a crash with ANYTHING extra on it that could affect how it reacts. Why do they sell them then , you may ask? who knows, but all car seat manufacturers will give you this same advice
6. Never use rear facing view mirrors that attach to the back seat or around that area. In a crash, the rear facing seat is actually lifted off the cars seat and propelled towards the rear of the car. This places the baby in a “cocoon” to prevent being hit from flying debris. If a mirror is on the rear seat, the baby’s face can impact it, causing serious injury.
I hope this helps and feel free to post any questions you have regarding car seat usage.
As an EMT, i can never emphasize enough the importance of properly securing your child into an age appropriate restraint system every time the car is in motion, regardless of how short the trip. To my horror, i have seen mothers with infants on their laps driving around the complex. That borders on child neglect, if it isn’t full blown abuse.
Our children cannot protect themselves. They rely on us to keep them safe. I am also a certified child seat inspector, so if you are unsure regarding the use of a car seat, please post your question and I will be glad to provide you with guidance, so that our most precious possessions can remain safe!
Should African Americans not purchase anything made in america since we enslaved their ancestors? not trying to make a comparison or say we should buy German, but at what point do we not hold the sins of the fathers against the children?
Cantoreq makes a valid point. A yeshivah bochur should dress respectfully based on what the current population considers neat and professional. In this decade, its nicely pressed shirt and pants. 30 years ago it was shirts with giant collars and grey suits. There is no model or guidance in the torah for the color, fabric type , or layout for jewish clothing. Moshe rabeinu probably wore a long colorful robe as was common in his desert living times.
There is a great support site for that on the web http://www.trich.org/index.asp
hope this helps!
Some guys in lakewood have a similar problem when it comes to yarmulkahs, is it leather, suede, velvet, nylon, is it 4 panel, 6 panel, 1 panel? Is it size 5, size 1, bobby pin, metal clip, one layer, two layered. Do you wear it perched near the front of your head, off the side, or on the crown? does it have a rim?
Be careful which model you chose for there will certainly be someone who will not agree and look down on you
Joseph – you are ignorant. I hope i am on a boat with you and another woman, so i can save her and toss you overboard
Maybe the whole shidduch system is faulty – 5-6 dates and an engagement is announced! Making a lifetime commitment takes more than that brief period of time,
Joseph “it is usually a fair assumption that the goy hates the Jew. “? It is ignorant comments like that they make SOME non jewish people resent jewish people like you.
As for the tickets. Were you polite to the cop, or did you pull a “dont you have real crime to fight” and “are you just doing this because i am jewish” and “why dont you go eat more donuts” – if you are rude to a cop, he will give you every ticket he can that is technically a violation. if you are polite, they will more often than not try to be reasonable.
Of course there is a drug problem in the frum community. The frum community is not immune from any problem that faces the general population. Unfortunately, the leaders of our community refuse to acknowledge it, so it gets brushed under the carpet, while those suffering are left without aid, and are coined the “nebachs” and the ones who “left the derech”. Until we are willing to get off our high horse and agree that we are not anymore immune to these problems as anyone else, it will continue to worsen,
You raise an excellent point Yoshi. I too am a lakewood resident, and whenever i drive through various complexes, i see 2 year olds wandering, completely alone on the streets. It baffles me that the parents are irresponsible enough to allow this to occur. This isnt a bungalow colony. These are public roads with vehicle traffic. Any parent who thinks its ok to let toddlers wander the street should be arrested for child neglect
I think the bigger question is, can anything be done about people worrying about such insignificant things like the happenings at wal mart.. wal mart is a public store and if kids want to hang out and socialize so be it. it is up to the parents to monitor their children, not us. The real problem here is turning everything into a “crisis”. The “shidduch crisis”, the “tznius crisis”, and now, the “wal mart crisis”. Dont you realize that your classification of this as a major issue is what turns these kids to trouble in the first place?