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September 3, 2017 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm in reply to: Is technology causing the shidduch crisis? #1353889JosephParticipant
“Punkt the segment of Klal Yisroel which has the disparity issue.”
Only a subset of that segment has the disparity.
“The present chachomim don’t want to rescind the ban to “solve” the shidduch crisis”
That’s merely your speculation about their motivation for not having acted yet.
“only to make a much worse sholom bayis crisis.”
That’s your opinion. (Remember, even if enacted it would still only be done by a small minority of families; and they will be selective in who chooses to, and is able to, do so.)
Everything you’re saying about this, you could’ve equally have claimed about the crazy idea of pushing for closer in age shidduchim before the Gedolim came out in support of that initiative.
September 3, 2017 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm in reply to: Is technology causing the shidduch crisis? #1353772JosephParticipantOnly part of Klal Yisroel’s chachomim forbid it. And even that ban was time limited. Just as it was later extended by Ashkenazic chachomim, our chachomim can discontinue the ban.
September 3, 2017 3:47 pm at 3:47 pm in reply to: Is technology causing the shidduch crisis? #1353735JosephParticipantHashem allows Klal Yisroel to marry two (or more) wives. That’s Hashem’s solution to the shidduch crisis.
September 3, 2017 3:20 pm at 3:20 pm in reply to: Is technology causing the shidduch crisis? #1353715JosephParticipantLincoln wasn’t the cause of the Civil War.
September 3, 2017 3:06 pm at 3:06 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1353707JosephParticipantThere’s a huge amount of evidence that there’s a very large amount of more never married 27 year old and older girls than 27 year old and older never married boys.
September 3, 2017 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm in reply to: Is technology causing the shidduch crisis? #1353698JosephParticipantAnecdotal evidence strongly indicates a correlation of those who are technology non-savy/little users are much less affected by the shidduch crisis and get married much quicker.
JosephParticipantI’m writing you in, CTL. I’m moving to the CTL compound just to be an eligible voter there.
September 3, 2017 12:40 pm at 12:40 pm in reply to: The key to ending intermarriage in the Jewish world #1353648JosephParticipantLC, who said anything about not. All I asked anon1m0us was a question.
JosephParticipantCrying to Hashem.
September 3, 2017 11:03 am at 11:03 am in reply to: The key to ending intermarriage in the Jewish world #1353476JosephParticipantanon1m0us, would you be as happy if your daughter/sister married a Bucharian Jew as you would be if she married an American Jew?
JosephParticipantI believe the OP meant does she put on top of the letter “Motzei Shabbos Parshas Bereishus” or put “Motzei Shabbos Parshas Noach”, for example.
JosephParticipantThey have an Israel reporter. Shabbos ends there before it ends in New York.
JosephParticipantDoing teshuva.
JosephParticipantDid you think it is only coincidence that I share a name with the magazine?
JosephParticipantThe Chazon Ish.
עי’ בס’ הבית היהודי
ח”י (פרק מא הערה 21 (שהביא כן בשם החזו”א הוב”ד בס’ פאר הדור.September 1, 2017 2:51 pm at 2:51 pm in reply to: What is the proper relationship between spouses? #1353005JosephParticipantI’d be interested in an answer to both (or either) of the questions. Please specify which answer is to which question.
JosephParticipantbplady: Wouldn’t Williamsburg be a better place to go to in order to understand this?
JosephParticipant“it is doubtful that most people without it are followers of those gedolim.”
And you know this, how? Why are you assuming that most of them are followers of Gedolim who support it?
“Other than that, nearly everyone is supportive of life insurance.”
You took a survey of Gedolim?
JosephParticipantMachlokes. You have great Gedolim on both sides.
JosephParticipantLilmod, I was referring to chayiv/onesh in Olam Hazeh, not Olom Haba. A gentile is chayiv misa even if he did something completely b’shogeg.
August 31, 2017 11:38 pm at 11:38 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1352691JosephParticipantLilmod, everything you just beautifully said is a) true and b) non-contradictory with taking steps to alleviate the age gap (which are steps that are appropriate that they be taken.)
JosephParticipantI don’t think a donation is mandatory anywhere.
August 31, 2017 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1352537JosephParticipantKollelman: Contact NASI or one of its directors, like R. Moshe Pogrow.
JosephParticipantI very much agree with you.
JosephParticipantDo you see a difference between indecent exposure of an adult women versus an infant baby?
August 31, 2017 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1352221JosephParticipantThe only ones signed by recognized gedolim say that there is nothing wrong with bochurim dating girls closer to their age.
These recognized Gedolim signed that letter because they wish to encourage more (than current) closer in age shidduchim, obviously.
Why do you think these Gedolim are encouraging to increase the occurrences of closer in age shidduchim?
JosephParticipantI’m looking for the maare makom. I was going off memory. There certainly are sources that men bzman hazeh should not shower after the Mikva.
August 31, 2017 1:10 pm at 1:10 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1352163JosephParticipantmidwesterner: Nothing you said demonstrates the gedolim’s statements supporting the existence and effects of the age gap on shidduchim is any less the case, even assuming your claims and interpretations thereof of their sons yeshiva structuring is accurate. At best, all it might demonstrate is that they don’t agree that the boys structuring of yeshiva years should be modified — despite their having acknowledged the ill effects of the age gap on yiddishe girls.
The same set of many Gedolim that publicly decried the age gap and called for reducing the age gap between newlyweds, did not call for changing the yeshiva system for boys. The only universal remedy the Gedolim publicly supported was to initiate change that would encourage closer in age shidduchim.
JosephParticipantThat would make him twenty-eight-teen now.
August 31, 2017 1:32 am at 1:32 am in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1351912JosephParticipantRY23, true if they all decided to do that it would lose its advantage. But since we know all aren’t going to do that, any individual girl can choose to take that advantage for herself by getting married young.
August 31, 2017 12:57 am at 12:57 am in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1351888JosephParticipantLilmod: The age gap issue isn’t the only reason anyone who is older and unmarried isn’t married. There are certainly other reasons some older boys and girls aren’t married too. And whether the age gap is the #1, #2 or #3 reason for older girls bring unmarried is also debatable. But the age gap mathematically guarantees that it is impossible for every girl to get married.
Therefore it is prudent (regardless whether it’s the main reason or secondary to other reasons) to take corrective action so that girls aren’t unwillingly swallowed up by the age gap effect denying them the ability to marry even when there would’ve otherwise been no other reason stopping them from marrying.
JosephParticipantWhat is slither?
August 31, 2017 12:10 am at 12:10 am in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1351879JosephParticipantIn the Jewish community, those who marry when younger are less likely to divorce than those who marry when older.
August 30, 2017 11:45 pm at 11:45 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1351854JosephParticipantAnalogies are never perfect. But the musical chairs describes the harsh mathematical reality. That is, once you accept the correctness of the reality of the age gap effect. If one still doesn’t acknowledge the effects of the age gap, obviously they won’t accept the musical chairs analogy.
It may be offensive, but if the reality is offensive should the reality be swept under the carpet and not discussed or referenced or described? How else should a discussion be had about the reality that mathematically not all girls will have a match? Or about what individual girls can do to potentially avoid that destiny (i.e. start shidduchim early and get married young.)
August 30, 2017 7:47 pm at 7:47 pm in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1351724JosephParticipantvestin: Historically Yidden practiced polygyny. Ashkenazim stopped because of Rabbeinu Gershom’s cherem (which originally was supposed to expire after a certain period of time) but most non-Ashkenazim (on a community level) continued polygyny until contemporary times. (Indeed there are Yidden alive even today with more than one wife.) And even though most men only had one wife, the fact that a minority of men had multiple wives, “corrected” the over-supply of girls (compared to boys) needing a shidduch that came about as a result of the age gap — that existed even in historical times — that you (likely correctly) described as being the norm among Jewish couples. Once polygyny stopped among Yidden, the age gap resulting in the issue of more girls than boys lacking a shidduch became uncorrected.
Thus the only two possible solutions to insure that a certain percent of girls mathematically aren’t able to find a match is to either a) reduce the average age gap between husbands and wives or b) reintroduce polygyny.
JosephParticipantHow can anyone answer this without knowing what your needs and usage for the device is?
JosephParticipantCan you explain in what sense you mean it doesn’t have to be serious?
JosephParticipantNursing in public without covering themselves is gaining in popularity in the perverse mores of secular society and the liberal politicians who serve these degenerates.
JosephParticipantWhich Dovid B. Kaplan?
August 30, 2017 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm in reply to: The best & worst shidduch advice you’ve been told. #1351549JosephParticipantBest advice: Marriage is like jumping into a cold pool on a hot summer day. Don’t be afraid; jump in and you’ll be happy you did.
Worst advice: The pool is too cold; stay out for awhile.
August 30, 2017 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm in reply to: What’s the difference between Torah uMaadah and Torah im Derech Eretz #1351473JosephParticipantMore from Rav Schwab:
“And now we address ourselves to our chaveirim bedeah, our achim bemitzvos of the Rabbinical Council of America. Ad masai? How long do you want to remain a branch, without becoming part of the tree? . . . We say to our achim b’mitzvos, “have Rachmonus with yourselves, and lemaan Hashem, part company with those who have given obscene semichah to to’evah clergymen” . . . Have rachmonus with yourselves, and break off your professional relationship with those who, for instance, consider Yishu HaNotzri merely a failed moshiach . . .We implore you . . . to part company with those gravediggers of Torah. I know it is a painful subject but it is unavoidable . . . We call on you to join us, the true Modern Orthodoxy [Rav Schwab is referring to previous statements of his that MO is today outdated and “anything but modern”], which is a generation of sincere mevakshei Hashem”.
(Selected Essays, pp. 90-91)
JosephParticipantAbsolute equality is not a necessity for a democracy.
August 30, 2017 2:17 pm at 2:17 pm in reply to: What’s the difference between Torah uMaadah and Torah im Derech Eretz #1351336JosephParticipantI think this question is best answered by the Rov who led the Kehila of Torah Im Derech Eretz in America. Who can be a better authority than he. That, of course, is HaGaon HaRav Shimon Schwab ZT”L, Rav of the Torah Im Derech Eretz Congregation Adas Jeshurun in Washington Heights, the congregation started by TIDE founder HaGaon HaRav Samson Raphael Hirsch ZT’L:
“However, in addition to the legitimate shitos we have discussed, there is yet another, more modern version in vogue called “Torah Umaada”. Apparently this is identical with Torah Im Derech Eretz, especially since both claim a belief in the priority of Torah over maada. Both seems exactly alike, but like two left gloves which cannot be worn together, they don’t fit! . . .
“Rav Hirsch ZT’L has inscribed two emblems on his banner. One is Torah Im Derech Eretz and the other is the so-called “Austritt”, which means severance, or total and non-recognition of any type of institutionalized heresy, “minus” or apikursus. This is also a resolution not to contribute, participate in, or support any cause which accords validity to the disbelief in Hashem or to the denial of the authenticity of Torah shebiksav or Torah shebaal peh. In other words, “Austritt” states that the Torah is our sovereign ruler, and it makes us independent of all those who deny its Divine origin…
“To summarize, Torah im derech eretz without Austritt is considered treif l’chol hadeios! Even if you call it Torah Umaada.”(Selected Essays pp.160-162)
JosephParticipantAvram, yes, more exposure is what’s being referred to. I didn’t think it needed to be spelled out.
JosephParticipantHalacha says something about this. That should be your starting, and ending, point.
JosephParticipantJournalism is a dirty profession. Many of the lowest of society are purveyors of this trade.
JosephParticipantAnd allow me to note, despite her preferring I not, that I fully agree with Syag Lchochma. (Hopefully this won’t preclude others from agreeing with Syag.)
JosephParticipantAvram, we’re taking here about the small minority of women who in-your-face do nurse in public. Not the common sense majority (including non-Jewish) that will seek a private area — and in the absence of that availability coupled with the absolute unavoidable necessity of nursing without waiting until in a more private venue, will ensure steps to hide their nursing.
The former is clearly worse than a short-sleeved woman. Just as a woman in public in swimwear is worse than a short-sleeved woman. Even though both are offensive to public morality there are surely some more severe violations than others.
JosephParticipantAvram, someone not infected with the perverse mores of secular society would consider a woman in a short sleeve shirt in public as severely worse than a woman publicly nursing in the open?
August 30, 2017 10:51 am at 10:51 am in reply to: The Age Gap and the Musical Chairs of Shidduchim👴👶🏻🎶💺💺 #1351232JosephParticipant@bk613 — Anecdotal games of whether you know more older single guys than Rivka knows older single girls is utterly meaningless. You need to check with a good number of Yeshivos and Beis Yaakovs to see how many of their graduates are still single eight years after graduation. Doing that (and it has been done) you’ll find a statistically significantly larger number of older girls than boys.
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