yungerman1 – Even according to the Star K it doesn’t have to have a Star K.

I just got a mad craving for Cheerios, so I ate two bowls.

I believe R’ Ovadia Yosef paskens that it is mutar for a “Rabbinic” Jew to marry a Karaite.

They say it because they pray five times a day, dude.

Toi – That’s exactly my point. Maybe it’s because of all the other things he did that you saw this as such a callous thing, but had he been a great person otherwise, maybe you would’ve brushed this off and said it’s normal. That being said, I wholly empathize with you, as I’ve had similar experiences myself.

uneeq –

First, even if there is an issur with a woman having lewd thoughts a man who is an ervah, that doesn’t mean that she is as likely to have those lewd thoughts simply by looking at men, as men are by looking at women. I’m not saying they aren’t, but if you want to make issurim you have to prove it.

Second, the three sources you cite are not generally regarded as the most authoritative sefarim when it comes to halacha. How about a Gemara, a Rif, a Rambam, a Rashba, a Rosh, a Mechaber, a Rema? Is this halacha missing from all those places?

cherrybim is a major machmir

hello99 – heh heh

Wolf – GREAT answer.

zahavasdad –

Why is Boy/Girl relationships bad but MURDER is good?

That’s a fair question, but has a pretty simply answer. You see, in most novels murder is not made out to be a good thing, while boy/girl relationships outside of the prospect of marriage are. So when you’re judging what the kid will learn from more, it’s likely the answer is the latter.

Besides, where did you get the idea that a non-kosher thing has to be repulsive for it to be mutar to consume, even if it’s b’ein? It simply has to taste bad enough that most normal people would not want to eat it, and then it is ???? ???? ???.

marbehshalom –

First, they don’t have any flavor – essentially what Health was saying. The point of being dry is that there shouldn’t be any flavor.

Second, even if they do have flavor, once they have become nifsal mei’achilah through the chemical process they cannot become assur again because they are panim chadashos, even if they now produce a good flavor, as R’ Chaim Ozer writes.

Third, even if the above metzius is not applicable, which is not likely; in a case which the non-kosher part is less than rov and the pill does not have a good flavor – not that it has a repulsive flavor (read: it is not better than a piece of kugel that needs salt) – then it’s fine anyway.

OneOfMany – Nope. Can’t promise it isn’t nerdy though 🙂

cinderella –

I don’t believe in forcing kids to be frum.

Aha, but the Torah does. Back in the day they used to stone someone who was mechalel Shabbos. They would beat someone who didn’t want to eat matza on Pesach, until he did. Sure, we don’t do that nowadays, but not because the Torah has somehow changed. We don’t, simply because we are in galus and can’t. But in principle, it is clear that the Torah does not agree with your belief of not forcing people to be frum. This may not agree with your sensibilities, but I think most people will agree that it is the most honest reading of the Torah and halacha (without adding any “theoretical fluff”).

I will do my best to instill in them a sense of pride and appreciation for Judaism.

That is fine and good as a matter of pragmatism. Not as a matter of principle. There’s a huge difference, and you seem to be blurring the distinction.

At first I LOL-ed (L-ed-OL?). But now I’m thinking that it really is a pretty good question.

The Gemara tells us some classic cases of Geneivas Da’as. They all share a common denominator – they cause someone to be grateful for something you really didn’t do for him. One example: Someone comes to your house and he sees you run to the wine cellar and come up with a rare, expensive bottle of wine and open it up and pour him a glass. He thinks you opened it in his honor, and he is grateful and feels honored. What he doesn’t know is that you open up a bottle like this every week. “Taking” his gratefulness is therefore Geneivas Da’as.

From here it would seem that “recycling” shalach manos is a problem, or as marbehshalom put it – unethical.

However, the Gemara also says that when the person receiving the honor is simply fooling himself into believing it, then it’s not your problem. So, let’s say it was a normal bottle of wine, and it’s pretty common for someone to open a normal bottle of wine on Friday night, then you don’t have to worry about the fact that this guy has a big head and will think that you are doing it special for him, because as the Gemara says, “he is tricking himself.”

I think that it is fairly common for people to recycle gifts, but in a certain context. You might recycle to a regular friend an extra special shalach manos that you got from someone else, but you probably wouldn’t recycle shalach manos for a teacher you are especially close and grateful to. It really makes a difference who you are giving to.

My official CR p’sak: If it is someone to whom people would consider it normal to recycle, go for it. Just make sure they won’t find out (because that would be awkward). But for someone like a teacher or a really close friend, someone whom if you would tell people you recycled shalach manos to him/her, they would give you a look, to such a person it is quite possibly geneivas da’as to recycle to, and you shouldn’t. And it would be nerdy too.

squeak – It’s actually quite commonplace for Jews to lease the public space. I know someone who went to some random hotel for Shabbos and wanted to do so, and he was wondering what to say to the manager. As soon as he walked over to her though (and obviously he looked like an observant Jew) she said to him, “Oh, you’re here to give me the dollar?”

cinderella –

Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know because I was never the sheltered person with no real choice.

You think you have a choice because you weren’t sheltered, right? Ha.

1) You, cinderella, were sheltered. I’m guessing here, but I don’t think you were exposed to real idolatry, or to things which every American kid isn’t exposed to and is illegal, were you? But if this un-sheltering is for such a holy cause, why not go all the way? I suspect that this has more to do with wanting to be like everyone else, than an honest debate of which is the better way of life. And yes, wanting to be like everybody else is a factor of consideration when raising kids – which was the second point you made on this thread – but it has nothing to do with the question of which way is inherently more valuable.

2) Even had you been exposed to all those things, you think you would be choosing? There are a million other factors which influence your choice. Do you know how difficult it is to leave your family? To disappoint everyone you know? To take your entire life and leave it behind? You think that just because you were exposed to a few movies you suddenly have so much more of a choice than the most sheltered chasidim? It’s an illusion, my friend. If you decided to let it all go it would be as crazy a decision for you as it would for the sheltered girl. You simply think you have a choice, and that is due to the way you were raised – which again, speaks to your second point but not your first.

Thanks, Menachem. I concur with your assessment.

The Doubletree Hilton in Somerset does.

However the poskim disagree if…

Which is why you should have a rabbi, or become one.

Ask your rabbi. If you don’t have one, get one.

There is a Gemara (Shabbos 32a) which says:

??? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ????? ???? (????) ???? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ?????? ???? ???? ??? ???????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ????? ?? ??? ????

There is a lot to think about from a philosophical standpoint with regard to this Gemara, but I think that the main thing it teaches us is that whenever a tragedy occurs it is not for us to point blame at one party and vindicate the other. Everyone involved is at fault, because if they were not, Hashem would have directed the circumstances so that anyone who was not at fault would not have been involved.

Cinderella –

Think about it this way. When you outdo someone in some way or win something, you feel happy, right? Your ego is fed, and you feel a strong sense of self-worth. Someone who has had to overcome trials and tribulations in order to do what is right and good may have had the pain of all those trials and tribulations, but their ego might be soaring through the roof. Then you have someone who grew up that way. Do you feel like you just achieved a major accomplishment when you daven an entire shemoneh esrei? Maybe yes, but if not – this is my point. Someone born into it does not have the added help of ego in the most basic things. The tzadik ben tzadik is the one who goes to daven, doesn’t get prodded on by his ego, and works to do it lishmah anyway! That is greatness. Of course, the ba’al teshuva can achieve greatness in his/her own way. But there is a huge possibility for true greatness to be achieved by someone born into it as well, precisely because it “means less” to them.

I am enjoying this thread. Thanks for starting it, Naisberg.

Doswin – Wikipedia. Search “Mukachevo.”