Leon, as desperately as you are looking for work I am looking for some part time help… in writing and some administrative as well. I don’t know your skills, but wanted to post my email [email protected] (if moderator allows) so you can contact me and we can discuss. Either way, you should be matzliach soon. Don’t buy into the economy is bad panic. Hashem runs this world and your parnassa comes from Him and only Him. When you really get that, you will see that you will get many offers. I am not judging your feelings, because I know that it is extremely hard struggling with this issue … I have been there too in my life, as most people have. Hang in there, for the majority it is only a temporary situation.

um there is a profession called “doctor” it’s actually been around for a long time. It’s true it is not always a full proof method, but seeking a doctor’s advice might be good in this case. I know it’s a crazy idea and asking about a hundred people whom you don’t know is of course the wiser thing to do ( i do it myself sometimes because I am afraid of doctors)… but still maybe consider it.:)

On a lighter note (or rather a deeper note), Tehilim also works. Ask Hashem to take it away from you, do teshuva for whatever you think that you do is causing this (it is min Hashamaim after all…) the pain should be a kapparah for everything that you ever did, or your family ever did, and the pain should go away immediately and you should live to a 120 in perfect health! (don’t forget to say Amen)

p.s. i couldn’t resist on commenting on your post because it reminded me of myself (though I have never actually gone to extreme to post it in CR…I might have if I had thought of it) anything to avoid visiting a doctor.:) they do actually learn something in their years of medical school and residency, etc. (I hope)

mytake, as a woman I certainly understand…but if you are already asking and care to serve Hashem the right way, you are almost there. It is a hard nisayon but from personal experience, this is what helps (in every type of behavior, taiva, anything you don’t want to do or should not do…) just daven to Hashem, talk to Him and ask him for siata d’shmaya. He will answer your tefillos 100%. So, if you want to dress like a bas Melech should, AND not like…. I don’t want to say what…than He can certainly help you, give you understanding and inspiration, chizuk to do the right thing. This “simple” method so works!!Period.

mms601: thank you for posting the letter. You can’t imagine how much I needed to read it:)

The homogenized milk is garbage anyway and has no benefits at all. It is probably harmful if anything. There is Cholov Yisrael milk that is straight from the cow (not pasteurized or homogenized) that comes from Monsey straight to your house or apartment door. It costs $5 for 1/2 gallon but is definitely worth it. You can also get a few half gallons and freeze the milk. My son has been drinking it since he was a year old. It tastes delicious and has many health benefits. the number to call is 845-425-4559 (Mr, Frankel? I think)

my heart goes out to anyone who is struggling and I just wanted to offer some (maybe helpful) advice that has always served me well. Start locally, think about a need in your community or a community that you have connections with (anything that people need in terms of a service)and start a business offering it (depending on your experience and qualifications in case you need a license… etc. you should obtain all that you need,possibly including unpaid volunteer/intern experience to familiarize yourself with this area or to gain expertise…etc) in case you have no skills/experience in anything…)

Once you have a business idea, reach out to retired businessmen or someone you know who is in business but with whom you will not be in competition and run the idea by him (very important). There are prob. community resources of retired businessmen that can meet with you — where I lived before they had an organization like that, check into it.

Put the word out with everyone you know… especially your Rav, shul, local stores, in other words … network. Invest little and advertise in a local paper — don’t invest a lot of money right away… I’YH if it goes you can then invest whatever you need.

Most importantly: After you do your hishtadlus, daven to Ribbono Shel Olam to give you the parnassa you need so you can live like a mentsch and serve him properly…because if you are worried about parnassa it is exceedingly difficult. Say a kapittel Tehiliim before any phone call, any meeting, anything you do throughout the day. (so says Rav Shlomo Brevda shlita)

Just wanted to share what I have found to be true for myself.

If anyone is available please join us in saying tehilim as the Krasny family who suffered such loss already need our tefillos as their children are recuperating from very serious injuries sustained in the fire…

Are you familiar with the term “doctor”? they are people who practice medicine… maybe you can consult one of them rather than the experts in the coffe room. C’mon!!!

my friend, can u do 101-110? please let me know and check out my email address above. I am assigning kapitlach as people email me so we can keep reciting the sefer.

frumlady, your sincerity really touched my heart. we are also a baal teshuva family that is meiser nefesh for Torah and Hashem’s mitzvos. Only another baal teshuva knows what we go through and how strong we have to be. Our child is still small but I already daven that he should find his bashert … Your post brought tears to my eyes but whatever we go through I really think it is a kapparoh for us (because of the past … etc.) and we have to accept it. I know that our Avinu B’Shamaim hears our tefillos and collects every tear we shed on behalf of our children. May your daughter find her bashert and be zoiche to build a bais ne’eman b’yisroel b’korov!! And you should have much nachas from her and her family and the kindlach she will bring into this world!!!

Wow! we so need this right now. Ogromnoye spacibo! Tizku L’Mitzvos!

In my opinion there is nothing like Chaim Berlin the main Beis Medrash… when you hear the entire Yeshiva davening, sing Kedusha…. and then after Yom Kippur sing Hallel. It sends chills. How can anyone not cry?! I think about it all year in difficult times and it gives me such chizuk. Everyone is so respectful and quiet, and you can really concentrate. It is amazing!! Of course, it is one of the longest davenings also. Still, this is only for me and I believe that each person has a shul/yeshiva where their neshama feels most connected/uplifted. This just happens to be mine and I wanted to share the info with you. Before I started davening in Chaim Berlin, Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashana were not the same for me, especially if the they davenened fast. Now I look forward to it. K’siva V’chasima Tovah!

I rarely comment on this forum but as I sat procrastinating in my work I stumbled to the CR. WHat a wonderful thread!! I thank the person that started it from the bottom of my heart because I will truly have a different day today. The stories that everyone shared are amazing!! I just want to share one of my own(I have many).

We are a baal teshuva family and although we know many many wonderful people I can’t really say that before our son was born we had a community per say. Anyway, when he was born I did not think that we would have a shalom zachor because it was so hectic and …who would we invite… etc. etc. It was ok, I was just so happy at the time nothing could ruin it… Anyway, our Rav asked my husband if we were having one and he said well, not really… and besides we lived in a building on the top floor… it would be difficult logistically. And the Rav said, “What???? YOu have to have it!” And,

He got together a small army like an hour before candlelighting and everyone ran around and ………the shalom zachor was held in a shul near us. It was such an act of chessed you can’t imgine. All these people came out of the woodwork with Mazal Tovs, etc. My not frum father was there and he could not believe what he saw. It was such a Kiddush Hashem. What I can say. A Yid is the greatest treasure! Because I lived around goim most of my life I can truly appreciate it. We should always remember it (Especially in these days) and (although it is hard) try not to judge each other but focus on the fact that we are one. We can daven for people, but not judge. Whatever may be on the outside, on the inside is pure gold. I have seen evidence of this so many times in my life. Sometimes someone who seems self-centered or whatever else can turn out to be the most giving and sensitive person … you just never know. In the merit of all the acts of chessed by yidden everywhere (which are zillions upon zillions of acts of chessed) we should finally merit to see what we are all crying and davening for — the geula sheleima bimheira v’ameinu. Amen.

I usually don’t post in coffee room but this post touched me deeply and I read every comment. The one from EstherH stands out the most because I just can’t believe that someone could say that. The words we say can so affect others. since this is anonymous I will say that a very close relative of my husband’s (very close) said that he was bad and if I married him i would be crying a lot… anyway, because this is an anonymous forum I can say that although I did not believe her and dismissed her mostly, it stayed in my head and everything he would do that was less than ideal I would remember her warning. Well, her words so affected me until i realized after almost a decade of shalom bais problems that subconcsiously i was holding on to that statement, even though intellectually i knew it was ridiculuous.

A very insensitive remark was made to me when I was finally pregnant with my son after many many years of davening. A “hosheve” Rebbetzin said, see, so many people started davening for you (she included) and now you are expecting… Sure it was true but it made me feel that all those times I begged Hashem for a child and cried so much i had no tears left meant nothing. Maybe this is silly, but I still felt that way.

as i glanced to see if there were any interesting topics in the coffee room or new recipes, i came across this topic. I thought it would be interesting… a discussion about the halacha of cosmetics, etc. Very nice, I thought, that is until I read some of the comments. I have never seen such a bunch of idiotic drivel, do you people have anything better to do????????

Dear Shoshana Miriam,

the reason that there is a shidduch crisis is because everyone wants to marry according to their list, no one wants to put any effort into a marriage. What about encouraging a working boy to learn. I don’t know what you have been taught but a woman can make a great impact on a man … that is why she is in this world in the first place. Everyone wants a finished product, a cooked turkey, and there is no such thing. Just because someone is learning, you think that is going to make him a mensch and a good husband for you. I will daven that you get the proper guidance before you waste precious years waiting out for Mr. Perfect. It is really really wonderful to become together, remember that, and Hashem has nachas from it.

lesschumros: thank you for your perhaps warranted criticism. I assume you are concerned because of your ahavas yisroel and not simple distaste for anyone who says the truth that touches on of your raw nerves. I don’t want to be doing anything by rote, especially because I (and my family) are baalas teshuvas and chose to serve Hashem although we grew up in an environment very far from it. Anyway, I definitely will think about what you said and do not deny that in some aspects of my observance I am quite possibly guilty as charged. I live in Flatbush and the complete lack of tznius (and not only in the area of dress) is very disappointing to me especially because I think we should expect better from women who were fortunate enough to have attended B.Y schools (i.e. assumingly had a Jewish education and were taught tznius)

davidbader: I think that many people are doing teshuva and trying to fix their lives, but we are all responspible for each other, and just remaining silent is not an option. These women who parade the streets looking sometimes worse than goim are creating a hazard b/c they are taking RSO’s shmira off the streets. These women could be to blame for the fatalities we see from traffic accidents,etc. I think there are many groups within klal yisroel… There are people, who maybe they are considered “orthodox” don’t get it at all.

This is not about pushing the envelope, bec. RSO is always watching you … you will have to answer for ALL your actions one day. Too many people are just marching along, keeping Shabbos, performing mitzvahs but they have no kesher with Hashem or understanding of their role as a Jew. Too much of what I see looks like rote actions, rather than a struggle (which is what it should be) to emulate Hashem and to subdue one’s base instincts. who in America even talks about the fact that we are supposed to be kedoshim, not gourmet gluttons, just thinking about new ways to bring pleasure to our bodies? Try to catch a shiur by Rav Shlomo Brevda, if you can handle the truth, of course.

BTW: why doesn’t anyone talk about sheitelach? Hashem wants to see a Jewish woman with her head covered AND not covered by someone else’s human hair. In the Gemara it mentions fake hair as an enhancement for the woman’s appearance AT HOME, in front of her husband ONLY. This was only for a woman whose own hair was thinnning, etc. Then in Europe when women wanted to blend in with the goim and would not cover their hair at all,prob. for safety reasons, the tzadekkeses among them opted for the sheitel because at least it covered their own hair, BUT it was done because of the extreme circumstances. WHY ARE SHEITELACH ALLOWED NOW? THEY ARE A DISGRACE TO US!! I asked one hosheve Rebbitzin who wears a “tzniusdik” sheitel why Rabbonim do not speak up about sheitlach and she said ” because if it were not for sheitlach, many women would not cover their hair at all.” I refuse to think like that of our noshim tzidkonius. This same Rebbitzin suggested that wearing a sheitel makes one look mentchlich. You see, now to look like a mench you must look LIKE A GOY! Such comments discourage women who MUST feel inside that the sheitel they are wearing are far from Yiddishe tznius, but the pressure is too much to withstand. Looking acceptable or even impressive to the goim, dressing to kill, smearing your face with five pounds of make-up is not A MITZVAH. A jew is supposed to live for OLAM HABA, NOT BE COMPLETELY FOCUSED ON MAKING A HIT IN OLAM HAZE. For us to be a light onto the nations, we have to have spiritual goals. We have to remember WHO WE ARE!!