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EDITED Don’t buy a home? And then, when these folks get old and need to retire, and have nothing to live on, you’ll yell, why didn’t they contibute to a retirement account. Well, many people consider their home to be their retirment funds. Their kids are married by then, they sell the house and move into a small condo or apt. and live off the extra money. So you can’t have it both ways. Don’t yell now that they’re spending too much money and later that they didn’t spend enough. Besides, how many apts are there that are large enough for 7+ kids and how many landlords are willing to let large families live in (and wear out) their apts. Moving every 2-3 years is an added expense. I think that the smartest thing is for a family to buy a house – not an upgraded mansion if they can’t afford it, but a home to live in.
My son’s friend got married in Chicago recently and provided him and 8 other bachurim with tickets to fly in to the wedding. My son said that was the best money that was spent at the wedding; to quote: “Ma, we didn’t stop dancing for a minute. They didn’t need fancy flowers or even food. We bachurim are the ones who made the wedding for the chassan.” So, when you look at it in this way, the car fare for bachurim to come to an out-of-town wedding should be included in the wedding expenses.
The previous posters hit the nail on the head, though inadvertantly, by asking “do you want to go to the wedding or not?” Of course they want to go, but each chasunah that yeshiva bachurim go to, and, B”H, there are many, takes a toll on them – money, time and lots of energy. (They look like they are having a great time dancing non-stop, and they are, but you gotta admit, it’s exhausting.) If they have to invest $100-200 each week to go to weddings, how many do you think the average bochur will attend.
And yes, it may be difficult to come up with the gas money on a bachur’s “wages” Don’t forget, they’re dating during this tekufah-i.e. renting cars, paying for drinks, and of course, paying hte dry cleaning bill so the suit they danced in at those weddings is presentable at the date.
So don’t come down so hard on these boys. They are learning hard and working hard at being mesameyach their married friends. give them a break, please.