Stay with it. Can get better.

This whole idea is idiotic. Hashem decides who gets married and when. this initiative shows a tremendous lack of bitachon.

sorry wrong we have the country

Want to get engaged but nobody to get engaged to 🙁

Call pcs

First time I ever went out I was in the house for 40 minutes, had a farher, exchanged family histories, played Jewish geography with the parents, etc. I told my rebbe, he was shocked and told me this is usually not done. The next girl I went out with I spoke 5 minutes with the parents and the father saw us out and said have a nice time. I think the first way is better for two reasons, the guy gets a feel for the family and the parents get a feel for the guy.

I remember my first time I was nervous to mess something up so I didn’t really say anything. I didn’t even realize that you are supposed to talk to the girl when you are driving in the car. When I was in shul the next day her father asked me why I didn’t talk to his daughter in the car, I said I wasn’t sure if it was tznius and also wanted to save something to say for the lounge. I say you should give it another shot no matter what because chances are both of you were nervous.

Lomed: what the modernishe velt does is try to rationalize their krumkeit by saying that halacha doesn’t say anything to the contrary. They are wrong and silly though. Halacha does not say you should not have a tv or unfiltered internet in your house explicitly obviously because TV didn’t exist but it does say that you shouldn’t waste your time, it does say you should be shomer einayim, therefore you should not watch TV.

What would you say if someone said he was frum but has to go to McDonalds once a week and have a cheeseburger. You wouldn’t think of him as frum and I bet you wouldn’t eat in his house. This is the same thing. Texting is being mechalel shabbos just like people who drive. They should institute here like they have in Israel the KosherPhone and rabbanim here should insist that everyone who must have a cell phone get one of those then there would be no texting or internet on phones at all. That would solve the problem.

Also why do yeshivos and seminaries in E”Y not only allow but insist that the kids have phones. I hear how you could say its for safety but if this is the true motive you can have them rent pagers instead.

I’m T-mobile samsung flip phone its a good deal but i was much happier with verizon but i can’t afford verizon.

I am by no means a top bochur but I got a farher before a date once. Actually was quite fun. It was my first time going out so I thought it was protocol. She didn’t want to go out again so when I saw her father in shul the next week he said to me: well, at least you got to chazzer shiur.

You can get nice looking gifts for really cheap sometimes. I know there’s a store in E”Y that sells discount siddurim and machzorim sets and things with the name on it for about $10. Also, you can get nice looking but cheap challah covers and put a name on it. Then everyone thinks you spent a lot but it was actually cheap. If anyone you know is going to E”Y ask them to pick up some siddur/machzor sets from you from the discount outlet store (where they have these things that are printed slightly the wrong color or something else usually not noticable).

I’m suprised how many people don’t know this… the ikkar kiddush hashem is by other yidden. Its a machlokes whether it is possible to make a kiddush hashem by doing something nice for a goy. It is obvious what you should have done.

It is definatley appropriate to potch at certain times but admonishment of children should not be done in public. This is embarrasing for the child. Best to wait until alone and then punish as neccesary.

why would drinking from a small bottle make it better? From a can is even worse, do you know how dirty the tops of cans are and you are going to touch it with your mouth? You don’t know where its been. You might as well lick the top of a garbage can. Also just to clarify there were other things about the shidduch that I broke it off but I have to say that this really bothered me. Even if you do drink from bottles when you are trying to make an impression why do something so disgusting? Even if you are on a picnic or at the zoo whats wrong with using a cup?

aarts. which means you can go from this degree straight to law school or a master’s degree.

so either sit-ins or cabs. if you think about it a cab is actually cheaper than renting a car plus someone else is driving. The first time I did a sit-in I was extra nervous but truth is I have come to find them more enjoyable than going out. There’s no pressure on me to decide what lounge to go to and all and you don’t have to spend $20 on stupid drinks that you could buy from a machine for $2. Its also more tznius as you are guaranteed not to run into anyone you know. Although the one drawback is when people hear that you don’t drive they seem to think like you are from another planet or something, fathers have called all my references and asked them what was wrong with me that I don’t drive. I just never liked driving never needed to so I never bothered to learn how. That’s all.

she started giggling a lot told me some interesting stories and then threw up. Actually she was more interesting and fun when she was drunk. She then said no to a third date. I figured she would. Also to clarify the hotel lobby was also the bar (I didn’t know this as the bar was on the other side of the room) that’s why you had to buy a drink. But this date is nothing compared to my first shidduch date ever (not with this girl) where the shadchan called me to tell me the father wants to talk with me. I said fine. The father called me up after to tell me what a bad impression I made. He said “I didn’t know it was possible to make such a bad impression”. He then gave me some really good pointers and I put them down in a notebook. well you live and learn. Still looking.

Even the best of systems is not going to work for everyone. The frum yeshivish community did manage to find a very good system that works for the overwhelming majority of us. What’s left for the people who can’t learn? I don’t know but they are a minority and while everyone is important the most importance goes to the klal. There’s different things everyone doesn’t like about the system but as a whole it does the most good for the most people. By the way there are alternative yeshivos like Lancaster that do teach trades.

if friday is mutar then is thursday night mutar too since the day starts at night or not?

haircuts too? what about Thursday night?

I’d like to marry someone with yichus but it depends on the person. Some people don’t care about yichus. If everything else is good it shouldn’t be meakev.

Forgive me for being naive but why should girls be allowed to wear makeup in shidduchim anyways? L’masseh they all do and it seems that the frummer they are the more makeup they tend to wear but the torah says that a woman should look good for her husband and not other men. If you say it should be muttar because they are potentially going to get married while that is true the chances are not in their favor as evidenced by the large shidduch crisis and even so if the shidduch worked out it might be a mitzvah haba baverah because the makeup was gorem the shidduch. if the makeup is not gorem the shidduch or doesn’t help then why wear it at all?

Ask his rav. This is something you must know.