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Just found this in video section on YWN. Same tune that I was referring to above. Go into the ‘video’ page. Moshe Mendlowitz singing with Shira Choir. Gorgeous.
While he sings this tune to the words of Mi Adir, I’m sure the words of Mi von siach can be used. This tune completely blew me away. Had I heard of it when I got married, I would’ve insisted it be used, instead of the ones you hear all the time. I can’t post a link, so ckeck out Yaakov Lemmer Chupah “Mi Adir” Aaron Teitelbaum Productions on YouTube
Yes!! Us!! it bothered both of us that while relaxing together, instead of schmoozing, we were both busy on our phones. I honestly believe that our marriage was slowly going down the tubes as a result. BH we had the strength to say ‘dayenu’ and while it was difficult for a few weeks, we’re so much more at ease now.
Derech HaMelech, we were told the same thing. It’s def not wrong halachically, so our Rav wasn’t stopping us, but he did quote a passuk how there’s more bracha in things that are hidden.
Caleefornia, honestly I felt that if I don’t grab this guy, I might seriously regret it because if he wants me so badly, like come on, in my circles (yeshivish) the guy has so many options that he could just brush me off (yes he had lists and lists of eligible girls lined up). I definitely saw that in the few years I dated, guys wouldn’t even give me a second date cuz, well, they felt I just wasn’t the one (how can you possibly tell after one date? something i don’t understand). So the fact that he seemed so enthusiastic made me stop and think and really consider what I’d be giving up had I ended things. As far as me maybe dating another month or two, I didn’t see why I had to. We got to know each other, he had a great reputation, I just didn’t hear bells.
I sort of was in the same situation as you. My husband was ready to get engaged after 2 (!) dates. I understandably needed more time. We dated just about a month. I saw that he was a wonderful person with a shem tov, middos, maturity, etc. I definitely did not feel the romance while dating. Yet I gave myself that push (I didn’t see what dating another 2 months could do) and we got engaged. Did I have doubts throughout the engagement period? Yes. I believe that most young couples have some sort of doubts, definitely cold feet. Yet I was very excited to see him each time (while engaged). Bh we’re happily married now for a couple of years and I have no regrets 🙂
I know someone who was there. She said there were 1500 seats set up. She said the gist of the event was tznius. Was supposedly given over in a very beautiful, non threatening way. (uh oh. here come all the negative reactions to tznius….)
If you’re considering Dairy, Garden of Eat-In has a beautiful party room. It’s def a good option because food is great, and being that most sheva brachos are fleishig, this is a good alternative. My husband and I had a sheva brachos there, so it broke things up – we didn’t feel like meat was coming out of our ears by the time the week was over 🙂
Mindy Frankel is the latest craze!! She’s incredible!! She was trained by Dini from Dini’s wigs, which def says a lot. Also great prices.
As a woman who just had a run-in with my mom-in-law, i can advise you to ask your wife to call your mother (even just 1ce a week) – but it should be coming from YOU. Don’t say ‘my mother says you never call.’ as for any mothers-in-law reading this, do NOT confront your DIL on the matter if you have such a relationship with her!! (unfortunately my MIL confronted me, and let’s just say i was extremely hurt and didn’t speak to her for a few days. we’ve bH made up since then.) I have a personality where I’m more to myself – I don’t want to share EVERYTHING with her (which is something she expected – she basically wanted a mother/daughter relationship – NOT a MIL/DIL relationshiip). But she learned the hard way – she didn’t have experience with DIL until i married into the fam, so she was basically clueless on the matter. Now she’s accepted the fact that THIS IS WHO I AM.
I went there. Was so, so happy. Besides for the great teachers, there’s a certain warmth that you just don’t find in other places…
My hubby thinks heels are ridiculous. The first time he told me, “Don’t wear them – they’re probably so uncomfortable,” I was shocked. I told him I’m the luckiest girl around because don’t all guys like when their wife wears heals? He couldn’t believe that was true – like why wear something so uncomfy. But now I’ll have to show him this ridiculousness right here in the Coffee Room. Since I had a baby, it’s been difficult to wear heals, so I don’t. And I don’t have the worries of ‘Maybe I should force myself to, because if not, my husband might not think I’m attractive.’ This takes the cake!! Look at the more important things in life!!
That’s correct, golden mom. Only for those two weeks. Some women like wearing perfume for themselves – not necessarily to attract attention. That being the case, they can wear outside the home – something with a soft scent.
Laker, well said.
It really depends on your hashkafa and where you’re coming from. If you come from a home/background where this is totally the norm, it might be something you can’t understand – you’re probably thinking, ‘what could be wrong?’ I made it very clear to my hubby after we got married that I wouldn’t be willing to eat out by other couples for Shabbos meals, albeight loads of invitations from couples in our neighborhood. At first, he didn’t understand what the big deal is, but I explained exactly what bothered me about it (as mentioned in some posts above). He agrees with me 100%.
I had the same question. And I’m not a “tznius nut”; I like dressing trendy. When I was engaged and going to kallah classes, I discussed with my kallah teacher the doubts I had about pony shaitels. She told me that while many Rabbonim will pasken that they’re ok, it’s a sensitivity which I (& some others) have toward wearing that style. So while I’m tempted to buy a pony shaitel now for the summer months, something is holding me back. Deep down inside it bothers me. If deep down inside you feel it might not be proper, don’t buy one (sometimes easier said than done).
I highly recommend “Yesterday’s Child” and “On a Golden Chain” by Ruth Benjamin. Incredible.
Orange juice; onion roll or sesame roll with egg omlette; soup (mushroom/barley or vege).
I believe that many girls become turned off – there are some teachers/mechanchos who don’t know how to give over the beauty of tzniyus – all they do is yell about this and that – and they accomplish NOTHING. I remember when I was in high school – if you got through all 4 years of h.s. without being blasted by the ‘tzniyus teacher’, you were quite lucky. People don’t listen to yelling – maybe they will temporarily (just so that they don’t get on anyone’s bad side), but once they finish being scrutinized by authority (post h.s.), they might just let loose. I’m not excusing this behavior. However, I feel that those who are in the position of authority have to give over tzniyus in such a way where girls should WANT to keep it properly – not because they’re being FORCED.
Well what kind of community are you looking for?
I went out with a boy who related a story about a certain Rav (he even told me this Rav’s name = no regard for shmiras halashon) – he started talking about how fanatic and “farfrumt” he was. This was a red flag for me – because unfortunately in today’s day and age there are so many people who put down Rabbanim because they don’t agree with them in different areas. This isn’t something that I wanted in a husband – because da’as Torah is so important to me. I also didn’t want my children to see how their father is always putting such great people down.
Shloimy Daskal. No question.
Find out if he’s even-tempered.
Eclipse, yes, that is true. My father, who is a close talmid of Rav Scheinberg shlita has confirmed that.
I’ve heard that being that the deceased grandparents and family members are present at the wedding, it is a big eis ratzon – a tremendous time for tefillah. The chosson and kallah are actually supposed to be davening at the time – not chatting with each other.
Well, sounds to me like you know what’s truly important in a wife. If that’s the case, and you also know that going to E”Y is not a MUST, look into Machon seminary girls. Obviously, there is learning – chumash, navi, etc., but the lessons are given over very, very well. I also found that the teachers there always added hashkafa to their lessons. I for one didn’t want heavy learning in sem. It was a great decision for me, as I gained tremendously from that year.