Chortkov

The main thing is to be real. If she actually is a close friend, she will be able to tell if you are putting on fake attitudes around her, and that will make it ever so much more awkward. Be yourself, give her brochos for her own success, ask your chosson if he has any friends for her. Obviously don’t shove it down her throat, but include her as you would any of your friends. And the most important thing is – DONT BE PATRONIZING.

And ignore everything I just wrote, because nobody could possibly advise you without knowing you, the girl, and your relationship. This is one of those Every Case Different situations.

Joseph – It is definitely assur to commit suicide, but it isn’t necessarily the issur of ?? ????. I don’t remember the specifics, but there definitely is a ?????? about it. I think the Rambam doesn’t bring suicide under ?? ????. Could have been somebody else.

(Only the ??? of ?? ???? is ???? ?????? ?????)

How many times in history have we tried to predict the End of Times, and been sorrowfully wrong? I don’t mean to give up, ?”?; of course we await and pray for the Redemption every day. But to keep on predicting the passage of events is foolhardy at best. We don’t know what is or isn’t happening.

Syag – Good point. I’m with you there. But obviously, one man’s pleasure is another’s poison. Nothing is interesting to everyone. But as was explained on the KTCRIM Thread, the Movement inspires people to write uncliched, original thoughts from a rationalistic viewpoint in an intelligent, well written fashion. The Movement recognizes any person’s interest, as long as it is written in a way that is thought provoking – be it an inspirational piece, be it a puzzle, be it an original angle on a news report.

NE – I’m not going to argue with you, because I agree with your point, even if in this scenario I believe you to be wrong. But the principle of the matter is definitely correct – “Tell me what you know, and how you think you know it?”

Popa – were you the Rebbi, the wife or the sister? Or perhaps the baby?

Free parking – don’t remember the sugya well, but isn’t there a ?????? ??? ????’ whether something free is included in ??? ????? ??????

??? ????? ?????… Was it a free parking space? Or is it considered a ????

When a Muslim would prostrate himself in the street to Daven, the Maharil Diskin wouldn’t walk within 4 Amos, as is the Halachah regarding one who is davening Shmoine Esrei – because he said the Shchinah was there during thier Tfillos.

Yishmoel has the Koach of Tefillah like we do. We daven to the same God, and although our religions are diametrically opposed, we still have very much in common with them.

This is the reason why Golus Yishmoel isn’t recognized in the 4 Golius – the other 4 are battles with our antagonists. Eisav is ?? ????? ??; neither can live while the other survives. We are always in a see-saw matzav where one will profit through the other’s degradation.

Yishmoel is not our antagonists, however, they are our competitors. And they often, unfortunately, do our job better than we do it.

Is a vampire even Jewish? Is it considered to be human?

There was a story last year in Yeshiva Gedolah [Gateshead]:

A bochur had a dream that R’ Leibish {phevorsk} and gave him a rope, telling him to go up to the attic and tie it around a Dibbuk hiding there. He also told him to take two boys with him. In his dream, he went up with the rope and tied up the Dibbuk.

That night, the two boys who R’ Leibish told him to take with him found him lying in bed, still and unmoving. He was rushed to hospital, and was very close to dying for a few days, until after Tisha Be’av.

He went to R’ Leibish, who told him to leave the yeshiva. He went back in to fetch his stuff, where he promptly collapsed and fainted.

Only a week later, R’ Avrohom Gurwicz, Rosh Yeshiva of Gateshead, went to visit R’ Leibish.

[Story heard from 3 different boys in Gateshead Yeshiva at the time]

–> Fact: The boy was almost dead and the whole yeshiva almost had to take tablets on Tisha Be’av because of whatever he was diagnosed with.

–> Fact 2: He left yeshiva then.

–> Fact 3: The Rosh Yeshiva went to visit R’ Leibish {Although he gave a shiur bein hazmanim in Antwerp}

Did the rest really happen? Dunno. Will never know. But it is a good story anyway!!!

I asked Reb Avrohom Gurwicz shlit”a about it, and he chuckled and said that he didn’t speak about that at all with R’ Leibish.

On behalf of the #KTCRIM, I would like to announce the unanimous vote to present PBA with the Knight of Motze Shabbos Troll Threads, hoping in vein that He will honor us with a couple of outrageously controversial threads in the near future.

@Joseph: The question is whether it is considered ???? ????? ??? when the end you are trying to reach cannot be achieved by any other means. Is “?? ????” defined by the means or by the end? By ??? ???? ?? ????, the Rishonim write that wearing tzitzis with kilayim may not be considered ???? ????? ??? to say that you should wear a shirt of different material, because you want to wear this shirt. Once I am wearing this shirt, it is ?? ???? ????? ???.

Of course, this may be chalk and cheese – the two things are not remotely connected. But the definition of “unnecessary” doesn’t have to mean “can you live without it”.

I understand (or rather: I hope) the OP was speaking in jest, but in honour of the #KTCRIM I will respond in seriousness to promote discussion.

There is a massive distinction between “mingling freely and conversing with whomever they please” and posting on the Coffee Room. Mingling and conversing are the first steps to familiarity, loosening boundaries and lack of reserve, and therefore prohibited between unrelated singles. Besides for the fact that anything public is automatically less intimate, and therefore less likely to cause any awakening of improper feelings or improper behavior, there is a second difference which makes the Coffee Room unique.

A normal conversation is merely a platform of communication between the participants. The mere fact that you are conversing creates a connection, and at least for the duration of the conversation, you are equals, you are friends, and there is a [albeit weak] emotional bond. You can be talking about nothing of importance, but it makes no difference. You can instantly strike up a connection with someone by discussing the price of milk in a grocery queue; even someone you have never met. (Obviously, something digitalised has less of that, due to lack of eye contact, body language and other factors that are credited to the visual aspect of the conversation)

?? ?? ???? on the Coffee Room. The fact that it isn’t instant, and the fact that everything is carefully moderated means that you aren’t really having a conversation with another person, you are just having a conversation about something. Pretty much anything personalized about the conversation is removed; the entire conversation is only what is said – not anything more. The conversation has become a discussion limited to the topic of discussion rather than a springboard for familiarity.

Therefore, by definition, there is no “mingling” happening, nor any casual conversation. Everything is simply WYSIWYG.

@Charlie: Hard to avoid scantily clad women in the hot summers. I always have a sefer and or an audio shiur with me when I take subways and buses to keep my mind on the kadosh rather than the chol.

Actually, you have to be careful learning in front of something that may be considered an ervah. I know somebody who learnt every day on the subway, and was told by his rav that in the summer, he should make sure to stand and face the wall rather than sit across from an ervah, and not just because of Shmiras Eynayim; you may have a problem with Hilchos Talmud Torah. I advise you to ask a rabbi.

@Gavraatwork: mw13 – AYLOR

@Apushateyid: doesnt sound like OP is actually asking a question.

You apparently missed the point of the thread. #KTCRIM (+1 to mw13!!)

mw13 – Of course, there is chiyuv lehalachah – not just a nice minhag, but a chiyuv – to avoid any unnecessary interaction with immodesty. Going to a mixed beach where there is certain pritzus is assur for any Jewish male. I think the only hetter is going to be ?? ???? ??? ??????; if it is possible to order clothes without going to a shopping mall in the summer, you may well be mechuyav to do that.

I know quite a few people who take off their glasses in the streets in the summer. Not gedoilei yisroel, not chassidishe kedoshim, but regular Litvishe balabatim who don’t see the need to see everything that crosses their path. If your eyesight is good enough that you won’t bash into lampposts, you can do that.

As for cleaning ladies – I don’t know the American industry, but in London it isn’t such a problem. The majority of cleaning ladies are Romanian, Polish or otherwise European, and a lot of them are religious (in some way or another). They often dress more tzniusdik than many frum ladies. And the ones that aren’t are generally sensitive enough to know that they must dress modestly whilst working.

I don’t see how anybody would be able to draw a line, as you asked. At least in principles, any self respecting Yorei Shamayim will tell you that he wouldn’t compromise standards. In practice, however, it is easier said than done.

TC: I dare say that not every speaker out there needs the money to pay a mortgage or tuition. That is an inaccurate statement.

I haven’t concluded my study of the correlation between mortgage payments and speeches in public, so I can’t comment on that yet. I can’t guarantee that all speakers haven’t paid their mortgages.

My point – which was pretty clear – was that public speaking is a job like any other, and the speaker is entitled to be paid.

Since the time of Hillel, there has been a charge to attend shiurim.

Remember, most often, the money goes towards covering costs (paying the speaker [who has a family to support, a mortgage to pay, etc], renting a hall, producing the video presentation etc.), or to tzedakah.

Nobody (save for seminaries, which is a whole separate discussion [#ktcrim]) charges to make profit.

??? ??? ???? ??? ?? ??? ??? ?? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???? ????? ????? ????? ????? ???? ?? ???? ??? ????? ?? ???? ???

Abaye: Anybody who doesn’t know R’ Yitzchoks Halocho is not a Gavra Rabbah? If it would catch him in his logical prowess, you’re right, but catching him out on his knowledge is irrelevant.

??? ?? ?????

CRL: the problem is that they think i can do better than what im going for…

One of the most important things to work out is why your parents want you to marry a ben torah. Is it because of their own standards and social pressure, or is it because they believe you are frummer* than you really are? They think you can do better or they think you should do better?

If they have a wrong picture of you, you need to sort that out immediately, before you start anything to do with shidduchim. Your parents have to know who you really are. You have to speak to them, explain what path you have chosen, and hope for the best. It would probably be advisable to have a mentor or teacher who knows you well contact your parents, who can explain from an adult perspective who you are.

Summary of Q: If everything a person does is motivated by some purpose, how can anything truly be lishmo? Surely every motive can be traced back to personal gratification? (Based on the Rambam’s definition of ???? ???? ???? ???? ???)

A: Clearly, the solution will have to divide various motives into two categories, and find an underlying factor that will be a defining point whether a motive is considered ulterior or otherwise.

Here’s an attempt: Every action can be split into two categories – Instinctive and Deliberate. An animal only acts instinctively, whereas humans have the ability to use intellect to make conscious decisions. But a humans actions can be split further. Even the conscious decisions can be split – either a response to an urge or external drive, rendering it more of a reaction than an action, or – more rare – a conscious deliberate decision to do something for another reason.

For example, on Shabbos in the winter, after a long Shabbos-Rosh-Chodesh-Chanuka-Bar-Mitzvah in Shul, you come home famished, and tuck into your wife’s steaming cholent. This action falls into the first category – although you decided to eat the food, it was a response to the hunger pangs assaulting you.

An hour and a half later, however, it is almost shkiyah, and you have to wash again for Shaleshudos. You cannot eat another morsel, yet you force a kzayis down. This is not motivated by any selfish reasons; you are doing it purely because Hashem said to eat.

Perhaps that is ???? ???? ???? ???? ??? – If the motive is because you feel it is the right thing to do rather than for personal gratification, you have hit lishmo.

(Although I understand that this does not answer PAAs question entirely, it could be pshat in the Rambam. PAA agreed that you can redefine lishmo to answer the question, granted that it works in the Rambams loshon.)

Thank you, DY.

It could theoretically be included in “????? ??????”, as quoted in Kiddushin 33a – As Rashi explains the Gemara:

????? ???? ????? – ?? ?? ???? ?? ????? ????? ???????? ???? ???? ??????? ????? ??????

What’s up with 147’s subtitle?

147 – 102 = 42.

Somebody seems to have suspected 147 as being an alter ego of Mod 42.

Alternatively, Zionism could be the answer.

29 – Trust me, you don’t want to know. I’ve been on the receiving end a couple of times. 🙂

DaasYochid – I’m not looking for sources that there is such a thing as zilzul shabbos. I would look down on anybody who felt a need to make things muttar which were previously assur. I don’t like the whole attitude.

But once the technology is out there, and it is viable to install; granting that it is halachically permissibly (which is far from simple), why shouldn’t one use the technology because of the “spirit of Shabbos”? I wouldn’t use it, and I wouldn’t appreciate anybody else doing it. But I still can’t place my finger on the exact issue, and that bothers me.

I haven’t read this thread at all, so if my questions have been addressed, please link to the relevant post:

a) What use is the random-factor, if it is a certainty that one pulse will connect? It must be mathematically guaranteed to turn the light on, or else it wouldn’t sell. If so, does it make any difference at all that some pulses won’t go through?

b) Granted that it is muttar – Can we discuss (preferably with Halachic/Hashkafic sources from previous generations) exactly what the problem would be with using such technology? People are talking about the “spirit of Shabbos” and the “sanctity”: Does “spirit” have any place in Yiddishkeit?

Disclaimer: I know nothing about Hilchos Shabbos; I am not presenting an opinion, merely questioning.

There are many many halachos about how to tell Loshon Horo which is ltoieles, and “Wall of Shame” is definitely not something the Chofetz Chaim would have approved of. Let that statement suffice.