Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Time to start a Coffee Room Jr. There’s nothing good to read here anymore.
Tomche:
You sound like you’re either still in your teens or a stubborn old man.
Here is the OP’s mistake,
While it may be true that percentage wise, the same percent of the jewish population getting married or not getting married is the same now as it was 70 years ago, however the fact remains that our population has B”H grown tremendously, and there is a higher number of people that are not married. In other words, today, that same percentage equals many, many more people. Hence the crisis.
cshap-
Are you sure there are 3 h’s in ughh, I always thought it was one, maybe 2.
Stay away, God runs the world.
There was once a family in Bnei Brak that had 1 or 2 mentally unstable children. The parents went to the Chazon Ish and said that when people ask information about the other kids for shidduchim the neighbors always say it’s a crazy family. The Chazon Ish replied, “When the right one comes, the neighbors wont be home.”
The bottom line is, every person has an oppurtunity to do their checking, and Hashem puts people together. We don’t know the cheshbonos and for sure once their engaged (Hashem has done his work) everybody else should stay out of it.
I don’t understand the question. The guy needs the diaper, um, are you lending him the diapers or not?
As far as Hilchos Shabbos goes, what does that have to do with the poor kid who needs a diaper change? Don’t mix into your neighbor’s business, he has a posek.
What exactly is your question?
Yente,
You sound so frustrated, & rightfully so. You write that you’re on the street with a bunch of chevra that you are aware are not your friends. It’s so good that you are aware of where you’re holding in life and you know that these guys are no good for you.
Please, please, try not to hang with them, you don’t want to be brought (down) to their level. Try to stay where YOU are at, and things will be better for you. When people see that you have an opportunity to decline, and you pass it up to stay at a higher level, they will take notice & RESPECT, yes I said RESPECT you, & then life will start becoming a bit brighter for you & you will slowly climb from your low point.
Serious therapy in order.
ZeesKite,
What are you talking about?
CP2 –
2 Advil will make it all go away. It doesn’t need to be exactly Advil, the generic brands are just fine.
It is because of the lack of tznius in today’s era that the OP is mistaken. Skirts and dresses are SUPPOSED to hide the outline or ‘tzuras haguf’ of a woman. Unfortunately today’s skirts do just the opposite. They accentuate the woman’s figure, hence the OP’s conclusion that pants would be more tzniusdik.
What I personally don’t understand is the tayvah of a pregnant woman to wear tight fitting clothing. I mean, like, hello? (If somebody could explain that, greatly appreciated.)
Aries,
You’re right on the money.
Let kids be kids, what do you expect, they’re kids!
I understand why my post was deleted and I was probably a bit harsh, but when someone says “I want out,” that is a bit over the top for me.
OP says that he has four beautiful children and a wife and he says, “I want out. But the rest of the family wont’ agree?” What kind of talk is that? He complains that his current job doesn’t have a 401K? Well, like, Hello? Who has a 401k? I don’t and so do many other “regular Joes” in the street! Many people including myself work upwards of 50+ hours a week just to keep their head above water! Do you know how much tuition I owe?
My point is that I don’t think his situation is that different than MANY, MANY, PEOPLE these days, so what does he mean when he says “I want out?” Does he want to stop being frum and send his kids to public school? Does he want to give his wife a get and tell her, “Bye bye sweety, your on your own now?”
I understand his position, I’m right there with him, but A responsible adult doesn’t say, “I want out,” he gets his act together & gets with the program. His kids love him and rely on him, don’t even THINK of any other way.
I hope I’ve explained myself.
trim,
It sounds like your from the “instant potatoes” generation. If everybody would get divorced over a nagging wife, there would be no married men left in the world!
Men are different than women, that’s a fact of life. Try listening to her, see how that works. Try sending her to work (or whatever you do) for 1 week and you stay home with the kids, I guarantee, you will have a greater appreciation for her, and all of a sudden her nagging will sound to you more like, “I’m so happy your home, I didn’t see a whole day!”
All of the above, is not to say that your needs don’t count, but you need to think of ways to take care of yourself. For example, I can’t stand coming home from work on Friday, the end of a long week, and suddenly being told, “We need this done, that thing fixed, and please kill the cockroach in the girls room.” I need a bit of space to transfer between work & home. Do you know what I started doing? I started taking care of myself. Every Friday, without fail, I stop off at some local takeout place or some bakery on the way home from work, I pull over somewhere and sit in my car for 10 minutes with a coffee & a danish or a cholent and a soda, and I completely zone out. I walk into the house on Friday with a big smile on my face, ready to tackle anything.
Please take care of yourself and try to see the world through your dear wife’s eyes, and I think you’ll start being happy.
Hocker,
You need to get away a bit. Or maybe sit out on the back porch with a tall glass of ice cold lemonade & watch the sunset.
I have two words for your whole story. BIG DEAL.
Additionally, do you think that maybe it could be that it’s possible that the cashier like, maybe, like had to go to the bathroom, like , you know. I mean, like, you know what I’m saying, no?
Adorable:
From where?
Adorable,
I’m not new here, I follow it all & I don’t comment unless I have something really brilliant to say. (clearing throat)
BMG locker 39 downstairs
Ladies & Gentlemen:
Unfortunately this problem is RAMPANT.
Yes, I said RAMPANT.
Let me say it again: The problem of kids being mechalel Shabbos is RAMPANT.
Stick your head in the sand if you want, but it’s the truth.
Hey Poster,
Why are you doing the thinking for her? Whether she likes you or not is her decision, NOT YOURS! Enjoy the ride!
(By the way, from your whole post you sound like the type of guy who is afraid to make a commitment, i.e. bad news)
She needs your help now and that’s what counts. She may have hurt you in the past but you put so much into her that you probably feel some level of kinship to her, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking this question.
Ignore the detractors and help someone just for the sake of helping them, not for any other reason. You’ll feel liberated that you overcame your personal grudges just for the sake of helping another human being.
I think you need to rise above the previous disagreement and help her out. She hasn’t called you until this point, but now it’s quite obvious that she NEEDS your help because she values your input.
She’s probably going through hell right now, and yes, it would be callous of you to shut yourself off from her in this time of need.
(Remember the whole thing with the Bais Hamikdash being destroyed because of sinas chinam and all?)
People need to be more patient. Patience is what kept my marriage together during a very rough & tumble period. And now we’re both happier than when we first met. Sometimes you need to take a deep breath and relax.
In 1997 my doctor told me the same thing. I went out and bought a bike. I started biking to work and being a bit careful about my weight and just generally what I put in my mouth. When I went back to the doctor a month or two later, he told me that if everybody did what I did, he would write 1/2 the prescriptions that he’s writing and he would probably be out of business.
Do yourself a favor, listen to him. Once you get used to eating like a mentch and excersizing a bit, it’s not so bad and you’ll feel really good about yourself. (That in itself can help stave off the diabetes.)
Weasley,
A lot of Hatzlocho on this endeavor.
One suggestion: It’s better not to wait until your parents ask what this is all about. I think your case would be better served if you approach the subject before it becomes an “issue.”
At the Seder, where the Matzah plays somewhat of a dominant role, we don’t want to “dilute it” with anything else. For example, the Matzoh is simple bread, adding salt takes away from its simplicity.
No matter what angle you take with the matzah, you want it to be just that, and nothing else.
Avram,
Yours should be the same, as should everybody’s.
Fedup,
Wow! That is really good. It’s something I could only hope for at this point. 3 weeks ago mine was literaly off the charts, it was so high that the machine didn’t even register it.
But don’t worry, I’m working on it really shtark.
Why should the amount matter?
I’ll tell you why. It’s not only the money, there are real people’s feelings here, too. Go make the guy pull out his ishur for a measly dollar, I don’t think so. You said your self your heart breaks for her.
How much were you going to give her already $500.00? If you’re just going to give her a dollar or two (or 5), what’s the big deal. If your heart breaks for her, so give her the money, what, do you think you’re going to get zapped or something?
It’s degrading for a person collecting to have someone scrutinize his Ishur and then give the guy only a dollar. How many collectors do you think are frauds anyway, 10%, 20% or even 30%? In business you wouldn’t take a 30% risk on your investment?
If your writing a check for a substantial amount, fine, scrutinize the ishur, the Meshulach is proud to show it to you.
Unfortunately, these days they have to think of creative ways to “pop the question,” because the boys these days don’t have the guts to ask it by thenselves!
Guys, if you’re ready to get married, you need to be able to say what’s on your mind, you can’t always get someone or something else to do it for you. Communication is the foundation of ANY relationship.
Hey poppa,
Get out of this room. You have no idea what you’re spewing.
My Rosh HaYeshiva told me TWENTY YEARS AGO, when I was dating, “You and I cannot understand the yetzer hora to dress with the style, but it doesn’t mean she’s a bad person.”
My Rosh HaYeshiva, who is a talmid of R’ Aharon Kotler Z”TL told this to me 20 years ago when I was going out.
Please poppa, stay out of this one.
Did you ever see one of the Gedolim that signed on the takonos NOT go to a wedding because the takonos were not adhered to?
That’s why the takonos never worked out.
Hey all you fellow Camp Agudah campers from the 70’s:
Do you remember the geshmakeh dancing by Shaloshudos?
How about Mrs. Lankry’s Shabbos morning Kokosh cake?
What about R’ Ephraim Israelowitz’s cocoa club?
Ah, this is the stuff that memories are made of!
I don’t know why people don’t take the “Chashash Kidushin” more seriously. Would you play with a light switch on Shabbos? Of course not. Kiddushin is 1,000,000 times more serious. If you are proposing, stay away from the ring or anything that remotely looks like you are making a real kidushin. Please, don’t mess up, the ramifications could be for generations.
About that story, yes it’s true, it happened MANY years ago, and I think it was Rav Moshe Z”TL who paskened that the boy has to give her a get to remove all Chashoshos.
Boys, if your man enough to get married, then “man up,” and ask the question, “Will you marry me?” You can get videos and get the waiters to do all types of things and spend lots of money, but you’re not a man unless you ask it yourself.
Any good places in Lakewood?
For all you young ones who “remember” Essex on Coney, do you have any idea where the name Essex on Coney comes from?
Let me enlighten you.
In the good old days there was a really good restaurant called Bernstein’s on Essex Street. For those who were zoche to have a Bernstein’s Romanian Pastrami Sandwich with a really, really good pickle on the side, there is NOTHING around today that comes even close.
Hence the name, “Essex On Coney.”
Many of the problems start in offices where the men & women call each other by their first names. Calling each other Mr. or Mrs. or Miss so & so, keeps that bit of space between the genders.
Stay far away from it, lady.
You need to tighten up your act. Do your michutanim know that you’re discussing this on a blog?
I mean why even bring it up here in the first place?
A woman once went into the Chazon Ish ZT”L and said that she has a problem. A couple of her children had psychiatric issues and when people would ask the neighbors for shidduchim info about their other children, they would get the impression that it’s a crazy family and would look elswhere.
The Chazon Ish ZT”L replied, “When the right one comes, the neighbors won’t be home.”
Rabbosai,
I stopped smoking about a year ago. Life is so geshmak now. I can actually do something for an hour straight now, without having to run out for a cigarrette.
(Please post if you agree, to encourage people to stop)
oomis –
Whatever.
Chutzpah?
Gee, I’m sorry if I hurt you but don’t slink back from your answer. If you say something, stand behind it!
Did you ever walk by a bakery on Tisha B’av afternoon and tell yourself not to smell? The women are out there showing stuff that they shouldn’t be, and all you can say is “look away?”
Of course men have to be careful where they look, but I’m talking about regular everyday activities. If I was to be “careful” by your definition, I would be bumping in to light poles and getting hit by cars trying to cross the street!
oomis –
Is that the best you can do? “Look away?” What kind of ‘cop out’ answer is that?
Of course we look away, but why are you dressing/acting that way in the first place?
As a male I will stipulate that women dress to impress women and not men.
HOWEVER, when I’m in a bagel shop in Lakewood and a (Yeshivisha/regular) women is sitting at a table and leans over to help her daughter with her ice cream and she exposes 6 inches of her back because her shirt rode up, THAT is a problem.
And when I’m having pizza with mt 8 year old daughter and EVERY women is sitting in the store with knees and more visible for all to see, THAT is a problem.
And when I’m walking to my car in the parking lot and a woman opens a car door to get in/out right in front of me and in the process bares it all, THAT is a problem.
I live in Lakewood and trust me, I can go on and on and on and…
No, men are not perverts, but if you stick this stuff right in front of us, what would you like us to do? We’re trying to mind our own business but some women are trying to make their business, ours!
As a male manager of a store that about 80% of our customer base are women, let me say that it is a bit of a balancing act sometimes to provide nice pleasant customer service and on the other hand not to appear too friendly.
That having been said, I don’t understand the question. If your wife feels uncomfortable shopping there, who is forcing her? Convenience? Please, if the cashiers were terribly slow, it would stop being convenient and she would shop somewhere else. Same here, if the manager disturbs you, just shop somewhere else.
If it aint broke, don’t fix it.
What was wrong with the old one?
If I’m correct the officer is a rookie and probably has not had his “sensitivity training” class yet!
Reb Daniel is a real mentsch and it is no surprize to me that he was calm & acted with utmost respect.
Isn’t the letter writer guilty of exactly what he is writing about?
Most of you guys are skirting the issue. He’s right. They shouldn’t be showing non-kosher cooking in national TV.