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Let me preface this by saying I am chareidi, ashkenazi, and live in israel. We have friends who are sephardi of all types and nationalities. My kids go to school with many lovely sephardi children from beautiful sefardi families.
However, there is a type of person who can be ashkenazi or sephardi, that exhibits a type of negative behavior which is referred to as being ‘sefardi’ (or worse). That type of behavior is not limited to sephardim. Americans will have a hard time understanding this if they haven’t experienced it themselves.
++1 Health
GAW: “Hopefully. As I discussed earlier, any “Gadol” who worships money and is willing to give up on their principles for the sake of money is not a Gadol”
I agree with you on this point. I’m not even sure which gedolim you’re referring to that are compromising? And its not clear what you mean by compromising, either. Please do not specify any names, however – It may be lashon hara.
GAW: So why do you take anythong now?
I think my point should have been clear to you. You are just trying to be inflammatory.
I pay full taxes,bituach leumi, mas briut etc. – should I also not take my D’mei Laydah When I have a baby? Maybe I should insist on paying for my doctors visits as well?
“More so, your “Gedolim” insist on taking the money!!”
Very disrespectful. Do you have different “gedolim”? I’d like to know who they are?
mdd: tax credits, child allowance and havtachat hachnasa are for all. its nothing specific to chareidim and is not income dependent. Now, you want to ask if its hashkafically correct to take havtachat hachnasa? Thats a difficult question which I don’t want to get involved in. i will say this, though; I don’t think its prevalent to take it. I personally only know of one family who does take it.
At least i can see you have some value for talmud torah which unfortunately is glaringly missing from some of the other posters here. Gadol sinas am ha’aretz l’talmidei chachamim – and it shows.
gavra_at_work: let me tell you a story, When I got married, my parents b’shita said wouldn’t give us a penny of support – and they never did. And guess what – It’s great! You know why? becuase then i don’t have to feel beholden to them and justify my choices to them. I can live as my own independent person. I believe it would be the same with the gov’t. If not for the pittance they gave us, we wouldn’t have to answer to anyone for our choices.
mdd: quite a few actually – have you heard of matrix?
Personally I don’t work there, but it is a system set up completely for chareidi women to work in hi-tech and it has several branches. The salary there is not competitive with the hi-tech sector, but for families who live simply, it is enough.
Mine was just meant to be a case in point that kollel families can be self-supporting.
Maybe you didn’t see part of my post: the gov’t stipend is approximately 700 nis/month – less than $200! Why do you think that this is the kollel system’s lifeline?
There are many poor who benefit from gov’t programs in israel, and I wouldn’t be certain that the lomdei torah are the majority in that group. Have you done a statistical study on this?
zahavasdad – enough of your ignorant hatred.
Many people who learn in kollel support themselves quite well without the paltry stipend from the government (approximately 700 nis/month – less than $200!) and pay taxes as well.
I can give you endless examples of people like this. I’ll start with myself.
My husband has been learning in kollel for about 13 years. I work as a computer programmer (as do many of my friends). We have rental income – which many do as well. we pay income tax, property tax, bituach leumi, mas briut and vat.
Most of us live much more simply than those who aspire to higher incomes. We don’t have a car or go on vacations or buy luxury items. We have everything we need b’h. It will not be the gov’t which will break us – we rely on hash-m for our parnassah.
Lapid is a sly character who is trying to charm the chareidim and he will never succeed with the majority.
I believe you are not allowed to have a ‘mean’ dog which may include certain types of dogs like pit bulls maybe?
There is a lot of leeway in this recipe. The basis is the oats, but all the extras are optional.
Granola:
3 c oats (whole oats)
1/2 c coconut (if you don’t like coconut can leave this out)
1 c (100g) nuts/seeds of your choice (can do without this too)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
2 Tbsp oil
1/4-1/2 C honey/maple syrup (i personally put in 1/3 of a cup and usually use either maple syrup – the cheap kind, or date honey because its cheaper than real honey. not sure what is cheaper by you)
1 c dried fruit (optional. raisins/dates whatever, or, you can chop up an apple and it dries up nicely in the oven)
you can throw in some flax seed or wheat germ if you like it.
mix e/t and bake 25-30 minutes on 300 degrees F stirring periodically
Enjoy!
One food which is really healthy, filling and inexpensive (I think so at least, I live in Israel so I’m not sure how much it is by you). (and all my kids love it) is Oatmeal. We can eat it every day. You don’t need to eat it with milk; you can cook it with just water + flavors. Or bake the whole oats into granola (I can give you a recipe).
I wish you much hatzlacha in your current matzav and hope the future holds good things for you and your family.
double thumbs up to farrocks! The girls who think they are better than the boys because girls have more secular knowledge have a completely krum and twisted hashkafa.
(And for the record, this comment is coming from a well educated highly intellectual female who works in the secular world – and whose husband learns in kollel)
postal, Its not our job to make these types of cheshbonos, in my opinion. If it is the right thing for a person to get divorced, that doesn’t change later. If they rashly decided to get divorced, they shouldn’t’ve done that irrespective of their new ‘chances’ to get married. Most people don’t get divorced thinking about their new marriage prospects. Its a neccessary evil to get out of a problematic situation. For the record, i know personally many divorced women who did get remarried, as well as divorced men who never remarried. The bottom line is that a person has to take each challenge in their life as is comes and handle each one with thought and da’as torah. With that you can’t go wrong.
please use spell check – the word is frightened. freight = cargo fright = fear
popa,
you are right that there are 2 sides to every story. I personally know of such a case (maybe its even the case you are referring to right now). one should never malign another jew unless he personally knows all the facts first. Women (as well as men) can do some pretty nasty things to each other in such situations.
it is assur for a man to smell the perfume of a married woman other than his own wife. In this light, I find this to be a topic which is inappropriate to be discussing in this company.
The problem is not what the guys are looking for. Its much more basic than that. What they are looking for is only an outward manifestation of who they are. The reality is that many people are shallow and these guys are just proving to the world who they really are. Many girls are also shallow. May the shallow guys find their shallow zivug and live happily ever after shallow lives.
I think that what you want to do is possible and many have successfully done it, but you need to be clear on what is involved, and what the implications are. Assuming you are planning on making official aliyah, If you are learning full time, you won’t need to go to the army. But in that case, how will you support yourself? If you are working, you will need to go the army, unless you get an exemption for a health or another reason. Making aliya is a prerequisite for getting a job. No one will hire you otherwise.
The other possibility is to work for an american business (telecommute). Then you don’t need to make formal aliya, and won’t have to go to the army. Additionally, you won’t start losing your aliya rights before you’re ready to exercise them. Ideally, it would be best to make aliya when you’re actually getting married.
Yes, people do get married in Israel, but you will have to be your own advocate to shadchanim since you are on your own and won’t have your parents to help you out with this. Of course a rebbe/good friend/family member in israel can be your advocate too.
The most important thing when coming to Israel on your own is having a support system. Without this, you won’t last long. This can come in many forms.
Good luck!
women definitely dress for other women. there is so much social pressure to dress well and be in style.
then there is the matter of convenience – finding clothes that fit, and the price is right etc., too bad if its a drop off from the rules of tznius for whatever reason. it takes inner strength to ‘say no’, which many girls don’t have, or care to develop.
I like the sewing idea. If it would be easy to fix things, many people would do that.
aries2756 – you are so right than should men tell their wives. how many women will say – but my husband likes me to wear (fill in the blank). women instinctively (whether they will admit it or not) want their husband’s approval. some just use their husbands as a heter – if he doesn’t object, it must be fine. most husbands are subjective about their own wives.