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Hi,
Can I start by saying, if you are struggling, you are alive. Life is a constant battle. I know you want you nisyonos to be in other areas, we all wish they were, but that’s not how life works.
Hashem has given you, and many others, these challenges and tests for you to work on these areas. Hashem likes us to be super strong when it comes to our relationships. Same as when going to the gym. If you decide to work on your biceps, then the biceps is an area which will hurt. You will have to push yourself harder than you can imagine, you will have to work out on days that you don’t want to, or days when you aren’t feeling well enough, you will suffer injuries, pulled muscles and more. But if the goal is to end up with big muscles, then that’s the way it is. Same with your yetzer harah. If it is to get stronger, it has to be pushed up to and past it’s limit. And it has to be done hundreds and thousands of times. There’s no other way to grow in a certain area other than be bombarded with tests over and over again.As far as the feeling of challenges, I’m with you on that one. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming and that you just don’t have the tools to fight the battle. I’m with you on that. There’s no ignoring it. God put us in this world and said, I want you to improve dozens of things. You may only actually succeed in one or two areas, but the pressure has to be there. It’s rough out there. The challenges are many and from all angles.
May Hashem help you through the challenging times.
Gadolhadorah:
Did Obama have a long term strategy of regime change in Pakistan (btw a US ally) when he sent his men to kill Bin Laden?
The reason it was done now is twofold.
One is in retaliation of the embassy attack (some US presidents, not all, dont allow the enemies to attack their embassies)
2, he showed up in Baghdad where the US has eyes on his whereabouts so they were able to easily find him and deal with him.yiddishemishpacha
Again, I fail to understand the doomsdayers.
Where are you getting from that we need to be in Eretz Yisroal.
While I don’t doubt that greatness of living there, many great huge Talmidei Chachamim, including Tanaaim and Amoraim did not think that the only important Mitzvah was to live in E”Y. They lived in Golus and did not say that we all have to move to E”Y.
I’m not trying to criticize, just to understand.
As far as my previous point, people were saying that since there are tzaros, it MUST be because Moshiach is coming, I was simply pointing out that this Dor has had the most comfortable Golus of any Dor since the churban. Be it in anti Semitism, acceptance from the surrounding nations, or financially.
To say otherwise is complete ignorance.
Don’t say that 1939-1945 wasn’t worse than this.
“well labavitch has had so many deaths in the past 2 months and because it says he is coming in nissan, they are all convinced of it that he is coming this month!!”
I never understand these predictions.
So because some people die (I’m not saying that it isn’t painfully sad) therefore Mashiach MUST be coming?
I just don’t get it.
On a side note, we live in a time where as bad as the Arab terrorism is, there is veritable utopia for Jewish people.
Never in the history of the Galus, have Jews had it so easy.
We hear stories or we know people who suffer (young people dying etc.) however this does not compare to what life was like 100 years ago.
Most people here had great great grandparents, who very likely lost a few children. Infant mortality rate was around 20 or 30%.
That means that for every 4 children, one of them died.
Many many women died during childbirth.
Progroms were rampant.
Blood libels and massacre were normal day to day events.
But yet today when one or two or three people die, we say, “Oh It MUST be because Mashiach is coming”
I want to understand it. I simply don’t.
You can see videos of Mordechai by searching on a popular video sharing website (rhymes with Jewtube). You can never be sure, but it looks like a man to me.
IAK KFB. Sometimes I get a headache processing the dribbling bumbling nonsense coming from people’s mouths.
Are you seriously suggesting that because a Yeshiva wanted to open on a snow day, that is because they want to save the children from their own homes? Have you been bitten by a mad dog?!
For a minute I thought you were Popa with one of his humorous posts (Popa that’s a compliment btw)
So please explain how those schools give any vacation! Surely even one day of vacation is so called ‘destroying the kids’
As I said, I’m getting a headache from your lunacy and sheer extremism.
And then someone said something about socialism!
not make a zecher lechurban in my house
As J. said so correctly, echoing the words of Dayan Westheim, there is room for a baal nefesh to be machmir however that is for a baal nefesh who is machmir in all areas.
Again, we still don’t get to hear the responses of those that are against the Eruv.
My first issue is as above.
Secondly, the Rabbonim of the Yerushalayim Eriv have declared that this Eruv is better. Now even if you do not carry there (many don’t) I have never heard opposition to it.
So please answer these questions.
Do not give us a list of the Rabbanim who assur it. We all know this already.
Yes, virtually all the Poskim in Manchester who are involved in Eruvin have said that the Eruv is Kosher.
There was one person who misquoted an old Teshuva from Dayan YY Weiss but that was dealt with easily.
Ken Zayn, #2. The status is ‘not checked’ because it is for the following shabbos. On Friday it was green and as soon as Shabbos ended, it went back to “not checked’
One of the Rabbanim who was involved in the construction of this Eriv, was also involved in the Kashrus of the Yerushalyim Eruv.
He said that the Manchester Eruv is better than the one in Yrushalayim. So if you use that one then you can definitely use this one.
There are many aveiros that people do that are way worse than carrying in an Eruv.
Lets not get carried away here.
As far as what people should do, they should just ask their Rav. Why oh why do people feel the need to make a huge deal about something so tiny. (As someone said above, no one questions what other people do when it comes to Koreis shailos)
jewishfeminist02 But you had no problem believing the OP’s version/speculative guess of the story! (knowing that the OP was doing a whole load of judging)
What really strikes me as funny, is that no none here actually saw or knows what really happened. We don’t have any hard facts other than there was a suitcase, an airport and a girl. Yet you have 70 comments! Does this make any sense?! Why doesn’t someone find out the facts, then we can try to be objective.
I love all these ‘naturals’ on here who bow down to ‘natural’ medicine and reject conventional medicine.
I’m sure that if someone has a heart attack, they will be calling a ‘herbal ambulance’
or
“Oh no, I’ve chopped my leg off with this chainsaw!”
“Don’t worry about it, I have some herbs you can sprinkle on it”
!!!!!!!!!!!
Its all baloney!
Yeah and we should stop calling those things that girls have-resumes! They are not resumes. They are bios!
A resume tells me strengths, capabilities, qualities and experiences of the person.
A document that says
School: same as 300 other girls
High School: Same as 250 other girls
Seminary: Same as 90 other girls (in my year)
IS NOT A RESUME!
I read through so many of them and the only thing different is the name.
It tells you nothing about the person at all! They are dumb, boring, and absolutely ridiculous.
I heard there’s a place in Manhatton (non Kosher-Kosher style) of same name that sells a “Rav Ahron Cutlet” and a “Brisket Rav”.
I kid you not.
Appropriate? NOOOOOOOOO
It could be that the reason Rabbi Bender is more concerned about the Drinking than the smoking, is because clearly smoking is becoming less and less of an issue (you don’t need to be a genius to see that far fewer bochurim smoke these days than 20 years ago) and drinking is fast becoming more and more of an issue.
“Oh Shreck! One more point (I hope mod let’s it in) HaShem gave us a fiery holy Torah as a tavlin to battle a most fiery fleshy yetzer”.
Here is a little conspiracy theory-who doesn’t like them?!!!
But since the women really want to learn Torah, and according to some people on this site, they get the same sechar and Mitzvah as a man(www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/oh-they-just-wanna-be-like-men-1) , then maybe they will now get the same Yetzer Horah/Taivoh as men!!
For the women who think that wearing a skirt that covers the knees is comparable to the same Yetzer Hara (in this area) as men, picture the following.
Imagine not wanting to shop. Now I don’t mean imagine not shopping. I mean imagine not ever WANTING to shop.
(let us assume that we are talking about someone who is single just to make this example easier).
Imagine never ever wanting to shop, this includes averting your eyes when passing a shop window, never going to the mall, never talking to other people about clothes, never thinking that you should ever be buying clothe. Imagine preparing for your sister’s wedding but not talking, thinking, discussing, dreaming or anything regarding what you are going to wear.
Imagine just NEVER thinking about any clothes EVER.
Now we are beginning to understand!
Health, Why me Mevatel it, why not try to encourage people to work harder on their Bein Adam Lechaveiro.
I myself am looking for a book that goes through the 48 ways based on the days of the sefiroh (as was done in many litvishe pre-war Yeshivos, where they tried to improve one middoh every day leading up to Kabalas Hatorah)
Repharim:
I would like to address your point, especially as I am ‘one of those Kiruv people who sugar quote Judaism’
I will ask you a rhetorical question, and obviously my words will be backed up by ‘proof’ as you say!
Here goes. For the benefit of the readers, please tell us how many times you spaced out during Davening today. (please don’t say a number, but unless you are on an extremely high Madregah and spend countless hours working on your Davening, probably you space out MANY times)
How about learning? Do you space out during learning? Have you ever forgotten something that you learned? Chazal say that someone who forgets something he learned is ‘Keilu mischayev benafsho’
Should I keep going through all the Mitzvos or are you ashamed enough. (shemiras einayim! For example! You ever looked at a women and thought she was pretty!)
Hashem does not ‘need’ anyone’s Mitzvos! Not your’s, nor mine, nor the greatest Tzaddik! Hashem does not get upset or angry if every Jew is Mechalel Shabbos 5000 times every single Shabbos.
He has pUt us on this world for one reason and one reason only.
(if your school taught you that your purpose in life is to ‘avoid hell’ as you call it, keep on reading)
the Mesilas Yesharim, or as you would call it, the Really-scary-you-are-going-to-Gehinom-Mussar Sefer’ says, Veha’adam Lo Nivrah Elah Lehisanag El Hashem, man was only created to take pleasure in Hashem, and to benefit from His presence for that is the greatest pleasure and truest pleasure greater than any other pleasure in the world!
The Rambam at the end of Hilchos Teshuva says that our Tachlis is to come close to Hashem and love Him and connect with Him, with a hugely deep and beautiful connection until you are so involved and close with Him that you are ‘love-sick (nafshi cholas ahava)
That is the Rambam’s opinion on what Judaism is all about!
We were created to have pleasure, to enjoy this world to the max!
We can have this pleasure if we desire Hashem, and if we think all day about getting close to Him and loving Him.
He doesn’t need anyone’s Mitzvos, He merely gave us the opportunity to have the most pleasurable experience.
(He doesn’t stand with a clip-board checking off, “So who has been doing My precious Mitzvos today)
So let me ask you, who are YOU to start judging who is and who isn’t keeping the Mitzvos?
Your Mitzvos are the chosen ones?
As far as ‘telling people to only take on new things slowly”, Rav Schwab writes that the reason why there were no steps on the Mizbeach, is because in your Avodas Hashem you should be moving very slowly upwards. No jumping up steps.
Here’s the proof. Last year by Yom Kippur, you probably said, Hashem this year I’m going to be so good! I’m gonna Daven like Reb Chanina Ben Dosa, and I’m going to learn like the Vilna Goan and I’m going to say every Beracha from a siddur like the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, and I’m going to see Gadlus Habore in every creature, like Reb Avigdor Miller.
Actually in reality most people have no idea what Kabalos they took on during Neiloh! And the lucky people that do remember, probably don’t do them anymore.
Additionally, how can you even take on Kabalos? That would imply that you are less than perfect! And if you are less than perfect, aren’t you anyways going to be the recipient of the Kelalos in Bechukosai?!
Rav Dessler writes a piece called ‘Nekudas Habechirah’. He says, imagine a guy who is so Frum and holy and special and he has one Nisayon (any Nisayon) and he fails, if he comes from a background where people should know better, than he is worse than a Jewish Mafioso who was brought up in the Mafia, who decides one day to only break the legs of five people instead of his usual ten.
Because the Mafioso was brought up in a Mafia home, he may have no idea that it is wrong to break people’s legs. So for him to overcome his nature and upbringing and utilize some self control, he maybe greater and closer to Shleimus than the other person who was brought up knowing right and wrong.
Ok, I feel I’ve trashed your misconceptions about Yiddishkeit enough.
No one in Kiruv says that you ‘don’t have to keep Shabbos’
Here is something we might say.
Ok so you are anyways going to drive on Shabbos, why should that stop you from lighting Shabbos candles! That’s beautiful.
Just because someone does something wrong or they struggle with Shemiras Hamitzvos, does that mean they can’t make tiny baby steps to come close to Hashem!? Where does it say that only if you keep every single Mitzvah are you worthy and if you can’t keep them all then don’t do anything? It’s garbage. Every little tiny bite sized piece of effort makes you closer to Hashem.
Ask any woman. She is only interested in a husband that cares. A husband that just buys jewelry and flowers but does not show interest or care about his wife’s needs, his wife will have no joy in anything that he buys.
So too with God. Only showing care about what He thinks is important, will develope the relationship, just ‘doing’ Mitzvos, doesn’t mean very much to Him at all.
Dear OP, I quotes your statement above, “I need advice from all you CR experts out there”
I am deeply offended. This implies that some coffee room members may not be experts. Anyways I believe that if we are not experts, why would you be coming here for advice instead of going to a professional. The very fact you came here in the first place hows that you trust us with your most important decisions, such as those affecting your family and home.
Sorry I just had to get this off my chest. I do realize that you are no closer to knowing what to do about refinancing your home, after reading this!
saw them at a youtube wedding!
nice!
Yeah wake up early enough before the Selichos that you can have your coffee.
Say Brachos etc and feel good about yourself before you even start Selichos.
Then your Selichos will be said with Zest and Geshmak, as will your Davening.
Then your day will simply fly by in a pleasurable state of bliss! Well maybe not that perfect but it helps the whole day if you start it out right.
Oh and another trick a Doctor told me. GET TO BED EARLIER!!
“Peacemaker” Have you ever given birth?
I haven’t either but from where I was standing for the birth of my two children, I was pretty happy it wasn’t me having the baby!
Joking aside, it means whatever you want it to mean. Mitzvos, health, birth, etc,
As my Chassan teacher told me, a woman’s body changes more in 30 days than a man’s does in 30 years!
Who is to decide what Halachos are applicable or not!
A Rebbi of mine told me that he was learning Hilchos Pesach before the Yom Tov. He was doing the part where the Mechaber discusses what to do if you forget the Affikomen.
He thought that this Halchah is irrelevant because how can you forget the Affikomen in a house full of kids! So he skipped it.
Anyways, two night before Pesach his wife gives birth to twins. He was in the hospital the whole night with her.
The next whole day an night he is busy doing all the last minute things himself, arranging places for all his kids to stay, last minute cleaning, Bedikas Chametz etc so he had no sleep again. Erev Pesach he was again running around.
He sits down to the seder all by himself. Sure enough after two nights of no sleep, and the busiest 48 hours of his life, he finishes Shulchan Orech and Bentches, forgetting to eat the Affikomen.
With his eyelids weighing as much as a loaded Airbus A380 (or 747 for the old folks) he drags his body to the shelf to get a Mishna Berurah to see the Halachah.
That was his lesson to us never to skip over any Halachos claiming they are irrelevant.
The reason why gas prices are going up is for the most important reason in sales.
Supply and demand.
In other words, you pay the most money possible for everything you buy. Your ipod that cost you $150, cost apple to make, market, sell, etc etc about $1.75. The reason they charge you so much is because “you will pay for it”
Same is the cost of apples, manicures, and light bulbs.
They charge you the absolute maximum you would pay for it.
Same is with gas, until people refuse to pay these prices, they will continue to increase.
The concept “inflated price” is an oxymoron. If someone will pay the price, it cannot be inflated.
Look at house prices in Manhattan. you can buy something 76 times the size for a 53rd of the price in Kentucky. The reason it is so expensive, is because someone will buy it! (and when people stop buying houses, the prices drop, as we are seeing over the last 3 years)
Scissors,
I feel you may be revealing a lot about your identity on here.
I have noticed this over the last couple of weeks.
E.g. In your OP, you said “I don’t want to disclose personal details but suffice my example, to say, my father was of one cultural background and my husband is of the other type.”
and then a few posts later “Everytime my husband uses his harsh sefardic tone of voice”
I hope I have not offended you!
About changing people………
People basically do not change. (don’t take this personally but I can guarantee you that your husband would like you to shed some pre-marital notions that you definitely have not yet got rid of)
Reb Yisroel Salanter said that it is harder to change even the smallest Middah than learning Shas.
So if your husband has not yet finished learning Shas, he probably has not yet changed his habits.
But let me tell you a secret your Kallah teacher did not tell you. Ready? Are you sure? Sitting? Ok, here goes. “He is normal”
Hmmmm I did not state the situation where Rabbi Breitowitz or Rabbi Leff hold an abortion is permitted!
I said that in a case that it is, then it should be done by a Jewish woman Doctor.
Do you remember when computer screens were about 18 inches thick? You remember?!
I did not mention anywhere what Rabbi Breitowitz himself holds.
It is true that most Poskim do hold like Reb Moshe that it is similar to Retzicha. However, when it comes to a Shailoh, the Rabbi has to take all opinions into account, including all the ones mentioned above.
I did not say how I would pasken, how R’ Brietowitz would Pasken, or how any other Posek would Pasken. (not that I would Pasken on anything besides what goes on in my own house)
I merely stated the Shittos, ranging from R’ Moshe of Retzichah to Chavalah (probably the most lenient).
This is a Talmudic discussion, quoted above are all the main Shittos (I hope!)
Bad Bad news folks, I only have ‘words and names’ but no ‘exact sources’
However every word is mamash, Doleh Umashkeh from Poskim and Beki’im (as I said earlier, these include Harav Zev Leff Shlit’a and Rabbi Dr Yitzchok Brietowitz Shlit”a)
Reb Moshe and others hold it is like Retzicha.
It can only be ‘like’ Retzicha for many reasons. Hasra’as Safek that it’s a Tereifah, or Mechusar Shiur Chai.
Tosfos in Niddah holds it is only Issur Miderabanan to abort. (some ask on Tosafos, that if you could be Mechalel Shabbos to save an Ubar, how can it only be Asur Miderabanan to kill?)
Chavos Yair, says it is only issur of Hashchasas Zerah.
Some say it is a Chavalah, causing a wound, either to Mother or Baby
Possible Heterim would be as follows.
1)Tzitz Eliezer says that the Issur of abortion only applies after 7th month. It has been mentioned here that he was a Daas Yachid. However many Poskim did rely on this Shittah in very exceptional cases.
2)Tosafos that holds abortion is only Bittul Piryah Verivyah, and combining with Chinuch that no Mitzvah Peru Urvu by a Mamzer, so in case of rape (of married woman) or incest, you could abort.
3)Reb Yackov Emden holds that you could abort a Mamzer/es, because if a woman is Mezaneh, we would kill her if she even if she is pregnant, and Beis Din do not have to wait until the baby is born, so you could abort in case of voluntary zenus.
4)Chavos Yair that it is Hashchasas Zerah, that is only Assur Shelo Letzorech, so if we can find a good reason to abort, then it is not “Levatalah”.
Most cases where these Shailos come up, the Poskim need good reasons to abort. Morning sickness is not a good enough excuse, sorry 🙁
Situations where they might allow maybe, in a case of a teenager being raped (unlikely scenario because she is not likely to get pregnant), or abuse from family member.
Maybe where the Doctor’s can determine a genetically damaged fetus that will come out completely deformed, brain damage etc.
As always, these cases should be Paskened by a real Rabbi, not us bored rabbles in the Coffee Room.
Stamper, Guilty as charged.
Off I go to find my yellowed, dog-eared, withering, smudged notebook!
BRB
Hello99, a Daas Yachid that almost all the Poskim use (including Reb Shlomo Zalman) when they felt necessary!
Hello99, you are incorrect on this one, and indeed the Halocho states that a Jewish Doctor should do the surgery.
(obviously because we, the Poskim are telling someone to do the surgery, therefore we must tell the person to whom it is less of an issue to)
I heard this from the mouths of Rabbi Zev Leff and Rabbi Dr Yitchok Breitowitz.
Also I believe you mentioned that abortion is only permitted in cases of life threatening importance.
This is not correct.
My next post will have these sources!
Thanks
I was by Reb Matisyahu’s house and he was “Shraying Chai Vekayom against it.
I kept my mouth closed because the Yeshiva I was in had done Kiddushin that year, and we only got until Daf Zayin(7) in a whole year!
Cue the jokes.
Someone came to Telz for a Farher. Rav Gifter asked him what he was learning in his previous Yeshiva. When he said “Yevamos”, Rav Gifter said, Ok, Open to Daf Samech(60)”
He said, “Erm we didn’t get that far”
Rav Gifter said, “Ok, Daf Nun(50)”
etc etc
Rav Gifter said, “Ok, Daf Yud(10)”.
He said that we didn’t get that far!
Rav Gifter said, “So what do you want me to Farher you on? You didn’t learn anything”!
On their way down to Mitzrayim, Rashi says that Yackov sent Yehuda ahead to open up a Beis Hatalmud (Genesis 46,28 Rashi)
But why Beis Hatalmud, why not Ponevizh or Mir?
The Mefarshim answer that if Yosef was still doing the same sugya for the last 22 years (Eglah Arufah) then he was probably learning in Beis Hatalmud!
Jokes aside, when I was learning in Yeshiva, we learned very slow, 10 daf of Gittin, and 6 of Kiddushin in two years!
I was able to finish those Mesechtas many times throughout the year with putting in a lot of spare time. (Ok you can stop slapping my back now!)
hello99, you wrote “yacr: better to tell a Goy than to do it yourself.”
Were you referring to abortion or Chillul Shabbos? The former should be done by a competent physician and NOT BY YOURSELF!
Let us make that clear before there are any lawsuits!
As we said, it is better if a Goy does not do it, as for him it is a Chiyuv Missah and for a Jew there is no Chiyuv Missah.
HaQer,
I really should get the sources for these Halachos!
We do find similarly by stealing, that a Goy is Mechuyav Missah for stealing, whereas a Yid is not.
We said in a case that it is muttar!
For a Goy you are being Mattir a Chiyuv Missah and for a Yid, an Issur without a Chiyuv Missah!
Similarly, if a Melochoh has to be done on Shabbos, it is better to get a Katan to do it than a Gadol, (obviouxly in a situation that there is NO advantage using a Gadol) =No brainer.
I remember as a kid, my brother needed stitches removed on Shabbos. My father told me to bring the equipment from the Hatoloh guy’s house to ours! (Fun times, holding this box under my arm-Shinui!)
Since a Ben Noach is Chayav Missah for killing an Ubbar (fetus) and a Yid is not (its Assur but no Chiyuv Missah), a Goy should not do it (this is obviously when there is a Jewish Doctor of equal ability available to perform the surgery).
You are incorrect about it being muttar only in life threatening situations (ain kaan makom le’harich)
I will try and find you the exact Mekoros later (buried somewhere in my notes!)
This was told to me by Reb Zev Leff (however its pashut!-i.e. very straightforward mekoros in Gemara)
HaQer,
No a Ben Noach is Chayav Misah on abortion.
Therefore the Poskim hold that (in a case that abortion is Muttar) it should be done by a Yid.
Furthermore, it should be done, if possible by a woman, as according to some, abortion is a problem of Hahchosas Zerah (of which there is no Issur for a woman)
So a female Jewish Doctor is your best choice for an abortion!
I would like to throw a shailoh here!
What if they are using their own money to buy bread, milk, eggs, etc (I’m assuming most families do purchase these items) i,e, approved items, and then buy Cheesecake (unapproved I assume) with their WIC card.
Would that be a problem?
Possibly not 100% integral but is that called stealing?
Hmmmm
I will let you scholars decide!
Peacemaker, I believe the answer may be that women know things because they sense or feel that they are happening (that means even if they see something, it is seen as a feeling), as opposed to men who see things by seeing them happen.
If you have a mother or have been married for at least five minutes, you will know what I’m talking about!
Therefore ‘Witnessing’ has to be based purely on vision without any feelings or emotion or sensing.
Not always is warming liquids Assur.
If the food is a solid that contains a small amount of liquid, rhe Rama holds that it can be warmed. (Reb Moshe is Machmir, if you would like to know)
If there is liquid that will ooze out during the warming process, that is Muttar to warm according to almost everybody.
Using a hot plate, acc. to Reb Shlomo Zalman and Reb MOshe is no problem of Mechzi Kemevashel, and if you cover it with aluminum, you can take food out the fridge and put it on your hotplate on shabbos.
Reb Elyashiv says that you should put your food onto an upside-down foil container but you don’t have to go like him, if you don’t want.
You should not push away Halacha for Sholom! Absolutely not!
You can find heterim for Bedieved situations like this and not everything that you are Machmir for at home (although recommended), makes food Assur to eat.
(i will try and post sources for everything later)
The Mitzvah to remarry your ex-wife, would be a “kiyum” of not marrying her if she had married someone else after being divorced from you, or marrying her before she marries someone else and then becomes Assur.
I beleive the Gemara calls it a ‘Chessed’
So yes, it is a Mitzvah (I can’t remember which number, when I find out I will let you know!)
According to Reb Zev Leff Shlit’a, Reb Elyashiv said it is a Sakana to give birth at home and he holds it is Assur.
Nebech Nebech will I feel bad for a woman who chooses a home birth and then something very simple happens, like the cord being wrapped around the baby’s neck (about 1 in 5 births acc. to our DR.)
I’m scared to think what would happen to the woman who does this to herself. She will be traumatized for life while she regrets the stupidity of her decision.
The information that having a home birth is safer is irrelevant. I will explain.
Imagine the following. (Its just an imaginary example)
In USA, 1% of people die in car accidents. In the UK, its 0.25% but .50% die because of murder.
Where would you choose to live?
The answer is obviously, in USA, because the deaths in the road in the USA (even though it is more than the death rate overall in UK) are part of life as oppose to an extreme violent unnatural reason.
Same is with birth.
You can give birth in a hospital where they are prepared for almost any normal thing that goes wrong. You are in a safe environment (with a 1% chance of death for whichever reason, be it infection or whatever ) with people to help you in the natural most normal way of the procedure.
Having a home birth, you are unprepared, and to watch your baby die in your arms (and the wife, because of bleeding etc etc) that THIS scenario would’ve been prevented in the hospital, is one sad situation I would not want to be part of.
Great story!
Some people really believe in Moshiach.
B”H
(what does this story have to do with Ohr samayach?)
Just to throw in my two cents.
Although I do believe there is something inherently wrong with a same gender union (be it in or out of marriage), there is a Torah point I would like to raise.
The OP wanted to know if there is an issue with Same gender relationships outside of Halacha. A valid Question.
Reb Yochanan (I think) says (brought in Rashi somewhere in Devarim!) A person should never say, “Pig is disgusting”, rather it is probably delicious, however the Torah forbids it.
I think that the reason for this is simple.
If we don’t do something because ‘we feel’ then we can change in a second.
Ask the average American if he believes that murder is Ok.
He will hopefully say “of course not”
Then ask him why is many countries, murder is considered good.
If you wanted to be a good German in the ’40s, you had to believe in killing Jews.
If you want to be a good Muslim (according to some) you have to want to kill Jews/westerners etc.
Therefore, ‘I feel’ that murder is wrong, could easily change.
If not by you, then maybe your children or grandchildren.
So if we say that “gay unions” are disgusting/immoral etc etc, that is a short lived feeling.
Saying the Torah forbids it, means, it will NEVER be permitted because the Torah will never change.
I hope I have explained myself clearly!
Thanks for reading!
bpt: “I could not imagine what life would be like were I alone”.
Rabbi Tatz describes the life alone.
You grill a burger, open the yellow pages and place burger on yellow pages.
When you are done, rip out the page and throw it in the garbage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s the single life!
I think the correct understanding of the Halacha goes as follows.
The only reason we are allowed to go to the Doctor is because the Torah allows it (V’rapoh Y’rapeh)
Meaning, if you are feeling sick, you should not be going to the Doctor because Hashem has made you sick for a reason.
However, he does allow us to go to a Dr (I will attempt to explain why in another post, as I have understood from my teachers)
The Torah only allows us to go to the Dr for healing not for other reasons.
Therefore, cosmetic surgery would be a medical procedure that serves no health benefit and therefore Ossur according to the poskim.
Reb Moshe did not allow going to a Dr for cosmetic weight surgery (liposuction). This does nothing to help with health issues and is purely cosmetic.
Getting a ‘band’ around the stomach (or similar) is clearly a health benefit and the weight loss will help a person, lowering the risks of heart disease etc.
Does this Drashah make sense!
Good Night!
Mod-42
Why would anyone buy it when you can download it from youtube for FREE!!!
I generally prefer my wife to wear just a touch of make-up. However if a woman wants to slap on a couple of coats of paint before she leaves the house, I don’t really care!!!!
Is the OP for real?
Can you tell me how many of the many thousands of people who became frum over the last 40 years, would’ve become frum if they had no help?
Maybe we close Aish And Ohr Somayach because the BT’s should do their own work and get no help.
Maybe we should even get rid of all English Torah material, because if BT’s want help, they should go to the source.
No one ‘makes’ anyone frum. You can show and assist. But ‘make’ someone frum? ridiculous. Stupid. Do I need to go on!
There is a Jewish tradition (probably from the Gemoro) that we do not bury suicides inside the cemetery, rather just outside.
However Reb Moshe does pasken that all suicides today are considered ‘Shotim’ (not mentally retarded but mentally incapable) therefore are buried within the cemetery.