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I know that this thread is very old, but I just found it now.
The Michtav MeEliyohu says that there is no point in agonising overly regarding any decisions we have to make – Hashem will give us siyata dishmaya to make the right choice. That is possibly part of the reasons why many chassidishes or Israelis (and even Europeans!) don’t feel it is necessary to go out on a large number of dates – if it is bashert it will happen, otherwise it won’t.
Boy and Girl forced to go on date. It was a non-starter. Fast forward a few years. Boy’s sister gets engaged to Girl’s brother. Ouch
How about this:
“She’s doesn’t want x, and he doesn’t want x, good shidduch!”
Or:
“She is y but doesn’t want y, and he is y but doesn’t want y, good shidduch!”
e.g.
“She has brown eyes but doesn’t want to marry someone with brown eyes, and ditto for him, good shidduch!”
I’ve heard this so many times, and it does not make sense on so many levels!How many times does it happen that when dor yesharim call back, someone else answers the phone? Usually, its someone who shouldn’t know anything!
I know a lady who called her sister and said, “You know that your daughter is looking for a boy like my son, and my son is looking for a girl like your daughter. Why don’t they take dor yesharim, and if that comes out ok, they should try going out!”
I know identical twin sisters. One went out on a date, and realised it was a non-starter. But she redt him to her twin. At the engagement, people asked, “How did he know which one of you to pick?” No one could understand why they both went red!
Sometimes, I think it would be easier to become chassidish and just do a beshow (no dating! 🙂 :-)! ). Until I remember my family friend, who was told by her mother, “Shprintzy, get dressed. Your beshow is in 45 minutes!” This girl, before the end of the day, at age 17, was engaged. She had always insisted she was not getting engaged until at least 18, if not 19!
I know someone who got engaged to their next-door neighbour. I always wonder what would have happened if it wouldn’t have worked out.
Ever heard of the boy who spent his entire date coaching the girl on how to date? They did not get engaged.
Talking about unexpected shadchanim, I heard of a goyta who told the woman she works for, “I think the Friedman boy around the corner is just perfect for your Sorole!” The mother was not impressed, but then the shadchan called that night with the exact same shidduch! Turned out the goyta had said the same thing to Mrs Friedman, who thought it was worth a try and called the shadchan.
The story does not say if the cleaner received any shadchanus.About a year ago, my friend was on a date. They got off the subway and found themselves face to face with a giant dog. My friend, who has an extreme phobia of dogs, took a giant step backwards, the train doors closed, and before the boy knew what had hit him, he was standing alone on the platform. He was still waiting when the girl reappeared, very embarrassed, 20 minutes or so later. Now, whenever they meet a dog, he quips that he had been well warned.
On their way to their second date, the boy tells the girl to choose a CD from the glove compartment. The girl, shaking with nerves, pulls out the top one and proceeds to turn purple as the strains of “Od yishama” fill the car! The boy commented “Ouch, that’s awkward!” and cooly switches the radio on.
A girl was in a taxi on the way to a date (the boy didn’t drive, so it was arranged that she would meet him by the hotel). The cabbie turns to her as she got in and said, “Oooh, you’re dressed up fancy! Are you going to a wedding?”
The girl laughed and replied, “Actually, I’m going to a proposal!”
Cabbie, thinking that she meant someone else’s proposal (goyshe version of a lchaim?), asks if she thinks her turn will be soon.
She blushes and replies in the affirmative, and then the cabbie gives her a lecture on why she should not be so sure of her boy until he actually proposes. By this time, she is nearly hysterical with suppressed laughter!A boy from out of town picked up the girl and then, following his map (yes, he was a little old fashioned!), set off down the main road – right through the centre of the Jewish kehilla! Turning red, he mumbles, “Oops this is feeling a little awkward! Which way should I go?” The girl was also feeling awkward – as they stopped by a red light, her friend had crossed the road in front of them; the friend waved then dropped her arm awkwardly when she saw the guy driving the car! So, the girl directs him out of the area. Unfortunately, he never told her where they were heading so they ended up hopelessly lost. Then he realises the necessary page is torn out of the map book! Bekitzur they end up parking at the wrong entrance to the park and hiking through an abandoned mud trail (the girl was wearing heels!). Then she got worried about yichud so they returned to the car. Unfortunately, she slipped into a mud puddle on the way, so got to the car caked in mud. The boy told her not to worry – the car was usually dirty! They did actually end up going out a couple more times, but it did not work out.
To all those with kohein-divorcee stories!
Little know halacha: a kohein may not marry the daughter of a ger and a giyores.
I know a kohein who was seriously dating a top girl and was ready to get engaged. This girl’s father, a prominent man in his community, was a ger. The boy’s Rav told him to check out the mother’s lineage – the mother had been adopted at birth, so it was not 100% certain she was Jewish. In fact, she had undergone sfak geirus just in case, but as her birth parents had specifically requested that she only be adopted by Orthodox Jews, it was safe to assume that she was born Jewish.
As the adoption was “closed”, it took 3 months (!) to find the necessary information. All this time, the boy and girl were unofficially engaged; they were just waiting for this mere formality to be over.
And then …. they found out the girl’s mother was NOT Jewish from birth! It turns out her mother had noticed that Orthodox Jews treat their kids well and wanted her daughter to have a good life!
Both boy and girl are happily married, and the girl’s mother was actually quite happy to get to know her “real” family.I know someone who went on a date during lockdown. To cut the long story short, the girl sat on a plastic chair outside the car whilst the boy sat inside the car with a plastic tablecloth hanging over the open car door!