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none, another thing you may have misunderstood or may have sadly experienced, is that you have to be perfect. My post may have seemed like you gotta be perfect and keep everything G-d says or else… But no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, we all fall down and find ourselves in places doing things that are wrong. We have bad days, we have bad weeks, we commit aveiros by mistake, we commit aveiros with intent. In no way are we expected never to err. And again, this is another thing that individualizes us. We accomplish differently, we fall differently, we struggle differently. And G-d intrinsically created us with the ability to refine ourselves, fix our mistakes, and return to Him. Life is full of ups and downs. Life is full of mistakes. And G-d, in His Kindness, gave us the concept of teshuva, of return, with which we can undo the bad that we’ve done. He gave us the ability to do teshuva, because in creating us, He knew we would fall, He knew we can’t possibly be perfect, He knew humans are full of flaws. Yet He also knew that we have the ability to grow, to yearn for more, to advance in Yiddishkeit in all different ways.
Hashem loves us. He gave us the Torah because He loves us. And we can maintain and strengthen this love between us and Hashem through keeping His Torah. None, your perspective of the Torah is that of a soldier’s handbook – all the rules a soldier in an army must abide by, all he must do, all he mustn’t do. All that is expected of him, all of his tasks he must fulfill. Yet the Torah isn’t a soldier’s handbook. It is Life’s Handbook. It is a way to live life to its utmost potential. Life is good; life can be full of happiness, accomplishments, successes, internal fulfillments, family, love, meaning, joy… all good things. And Hashem, Who created this world, knows the only way one can achieve such a life. And that is by following the Torah. The Torah gives us many positive commandments and many negative commandments, yet they aren’t merely commandments; they are directives for life. If you look deeply and learn about just one of them, you would see it bursting with meaning, with depth, with the ability to strengthen love between you and your Creator. Not only do mitzvos create a happy, meaningful existence for you in this World, they additionally, and more importantly, give you life in the Next World. They give you eternity. They change you from being a mortal human being into being part of G-dliness, into having a life that is forever.
Many people have a difficult time relating to mitzvos in this way – because they don’t seem meaningful, they don’t seem to be improving our lives in any way, they don’t seem to contain any benefits, they don’t seem to have much depth … And many times people feel this way because they are doing mitzvos out of habit, or because of social pressure, or because they are human! It is normal, and entirely okay for one not to feel connected through doing a mitzva. But one should always be yearning, be striving, to reach a point in which they do feel depth, connection, and the strengthening of their relationship between themselves and G-d through fulfilling His Torah.
What we need to do is OWN our mitzvos. Take one mitzva that doesn’t seem to mean anything to you, and learn about it, connect to it, understand why you’re doing it, why Hashem gave it to you, and what you can gain from fulfilling it; and then do it with intent, with feeling, with love. Every single mitzva brings you closer to G-d, and every single mitzva strengthens your relationship with Him. You are not a soldier following rules. You are a human being serving your Creator, fulfilling His wishes, and living life in the best way you possibly can.
None, again, I would like to reiterate that what you’re saying seems to be coming from a place of bad experience, or from unhealthy exposures. Torah, Yiddishkeit, and frum life aren’t bad, constricting, or shallow as you seem to think they are. Hashem created you. He created the world and everything in it. And boy, should you trust Him when it comes to how to live life in His world in the best possible manner. That doesn’t negate the fact that it is difficult to recognize and believe all this. Following G-d blindly isn’t a simple task. But even if one isn’t at that point yet, the first step is to WANT to reach that place. Begin by DESIRING to trust G-d throughout life, and WISHING to believe that His commandments will only improve your life and bring you closer to Him. And one day you will, with the help of G-d, reach that great point. You have to WANT. And even if you don’t want, you have to WANT TO WANT. If you want to come closer to G-d, to see how His Torah, His Mitzvos, are only for your benefit, He will help you, He will be with you, He will hold your hand, and He will help you reach that place.
One last time – all of us, me, you, we’re human. I make mistakes. You make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. And through our mistakes, through teshuva that we hopefully do, we become closer to G-d, we strengthen our connection to Him, we reach higher and greater than we ever imagined we could. G-d gave us a Yetzer Hara, and we fall once, we fall twice, we fall again and again. And he gave us a brain, He gave us שכל, to realize how we can get back up again. He made us human, with flaws, with desires, so that we can keep His Torah with feeling, with effort, with love, and not out of rote. G-d gave us His Torah out of everlasting love, and he wants us to keep it with love. If you are not yet at the point of recognizing and believing that, at least know that it’s the truth.
May you continue to see Ruchniyus success and happiness throughout your life.
none: You have sadly been misinformed that Judaism is a box and that every Jew must fit in. You have been told that there is no individuality, and that those who differ from the norm are complete outcasts. Well I’d like to enlighten you with the truth.
The Torah IS non-negotiable, every Yid must adhere to its laws and commandments. There are positive commandments and negative commandments written explicitly in the Posuk, and additionally, there is Torah shebaal peh that interprets what’s written there. Torah Shebaal Peh was told to Klal Yisroel by Har Sinai, only not written down. Torah shebaal peh has the same significance as Torah Shebichsav (besides for very specific circumstances), and thus we must follow all that it says. We weren’t given Torah Shebaal Peh so that we can be “contricted” further, or so that we would be “limited” in more ways, but so that we can follow the Torah on a true and correct path, of which we wouldn’t be aware of without Torah Shebaal Peh.A Yid is born with the tools and כוחות necessary to fulfill his תפקיד in this world; the ability and strength to follow the Torah. Some people don’t naturally seem to have the strength to fulfill certain mitzvos, but if only they would believe, understand, and recognize that Hashem created them with the strength, they would push themselves beyond the limits they seem confined by. Yes, many people have a hard time waking up for Shacharis, and no, it isn’t easy to part with a tenth of your salary, or refrain from talking about certain topics that are considered l”h… It isn’t easy to forgive someone who wronged you, it isn’t simple to adhere to all hilchos shabbos … the list is endless. We have a Yetzer Hara for every mitzva. Some people have a bigger Yetzer Hara for one mitzva, and a smaller one for another. Some people have an easy time with Kibud Av, but find it extremely difficult to be dan lkaf zechus or vice versa…
And thus we have individuality.
With these unique natural strengths and weaknesses we possess, we each serve Hashem in our own individual way, along our singular path of avodas Hashem. We can expand and go beyond in areas that we have a naturally easier time doing, and we additionally work on mitzvos that we struggle with and have difficulty keeping. Not one Yid should be feeling that Hashem wants him to be identical to his friend; not one Yid should think that the Torah is something he must conform to in the exact way as any other Yid. Every person has their own Yetzer Hara, their own life circumstances, their own family, friends, past experiences, and talents. And with all Hashem has given him, you, me, we adhere to the Torah and follow all it says – in our own individual way.
In Judaism, there are 2 different aspects: the יחיד, the individual, and the ציבור, the group, the entirety of our nation.
The יחיד – each and every one of us – has יחידות, individuality, a unique tafkid, purpose, in this world. We each serve Hashem privately and independently, refining our middos, controlling our desires, working on all different areas of Yiddishkeit in our own unparalleled manner.
The ציבור – all of us as a whole – has the strength and power and zechus of everyone in it, as well as a responsibility for those included in it, We each add to, and enrich the כלל with our individuality, our talents, and our abilities.If one thinks that differing from the norm is unacceptable in Yiddishkeit, he is right and he is wrong.
– If one differs from Torah Shebichsav, Torah Shebaal Peh, from Halacha, from the guidance and instructions of Gedolei Hador, then that is completely and entirely – not only unacceptable, but – wrong.
– If one differs in how they fulfill Torah Shebichsav, Torah Shebaal Peh, or Halacha, in a manner that aligns with Ratzon Hashem, then not only is that NOT unacceptable, it is welcomed and admired and accepted in every way.none – You seem to have experienced quite the opposite, which is extremely unfortunate. My wish is that you will one day recognize and understand how individuality is something cherished in Yiddishkeit, and that in no way does Hashem want us following Him in identical ways to those around us.
Hashem is Perfect. The Torah is Perfect. The Mitzvos are Perfect. For one to say that a certain aspect of the Torah doesn’t work for them, or is too hard for them to fulfill, is terribly mistaken, and should receive guidance as to how they can shift their current mindset. And again, Yiddishkeit is not “sit back and relax, you’re on vacation toward עוה”ב”. We’re here in this world to work hard, to go beyond what seems naturally possible for us to do, and to do Hashem’s Ratzon in any and every circumstance.
People tell themselves, “If I stretch myself too far, I’m gonna snap” – and while that is true, that doesn’t mean you can’t stretch at all.
lace shaitels are completely asur
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