WolfishMusings

On the other hand there can be very bad consequences for a couple who didn’t pay the shadchan.

Heck, that’s probably why that couple I set up got divorced — because I wouldn’t accept the shadchanus. At least they got three wonderful kids out of the deal first.

The Wolf

Disagree.

Then we have to agree to disagree.

Obviously there must be some semblance of order in a school, but a school should still allow its students to follow their own individual spiritual paths and not smother them with rules, regulations, and conformity. A little bit of flexibility does not automatically create anarchy.

I agree that there should be some flexibility. But allowing a student to miss an entire hour every day is beyond what the school should accommodate, IMHO.

The Wolf

Then if he told you to wear techeiles (on a one time basis) then you presumably you would wear it?

Maybe… I don’t know. There is a difference between a temporary suspension of a law and an interpretation of whether a component of the mitzvah is, indeed, that component.

I’ll tell you what. Get me Eliyahu and then I’ll worry about it.

The Wolf

It appears that I may have misread your position. I thought that you were opposed to an hour-long SE in principle (“It should NOT take an hour to daven Shmoneh Esrei every day”, period); but now you seem to be saying the problem is only that such a long SE will interfere with classes. That is a different argument than the one I thought was taking place.

I’m not opposed to it in principle. However, it must be acknowledged that it *is* unusual to take an hour to daven Shmoneh Esrei and, like anything else that is unusual, if it intereferes with normal routine activities (such as going to school), then it *does* become a problem.

However, I still disagree with you. The mornings in our school system are spent in Avodas Hakodesh, and there is little Avodas Hakodesh a person (particularly a girl who is not mechuyav in talmud Torah) can be doing that is as productive as davening.

I disagree. A school has a program and a cirriculum. A school cannot make customized schedules for every girl based on their own peculiarities. They have to schedule classes at a time that’s convenient for them and they have to have all the girls conform to that schedule. You cannot run a school if one girl feels that her davening will allow her to skip the first period or two and another girl feels that her chesed mission is more important than class and a third girl feels that she’d be more spiritually accomplished by learning sefer X when the class is learning sefer Y. That’s not a school — that’s anarchy.

The Wolf

Why not? What is wrong with spending an hour a day (or 6 hours a day, for that matter) davening?

Because she has a schedule to keep that prevents her from doing so.

Umm… religious rights?

A private school is not under any obligation to make religious accommodations. Or do you think that her yeshiva should allow her to start her day at 1PM if she wants to spend six hours davening?

Yes, it can be done out of SE… but why should it be?

Because it’s interfering with her school schedule.

The Wolf

What Im questioning is why no one likes to walk in those areas. Theyre such beautiful blocks.

I already told you why. I go out at night and no one wants to risk being mauled to death.

If the community would get their act together to get rid of me, then people would go out again at night.

The Wolf

in what way are you wolfish?

I’m furry, undomesticated, bite people and steal and consume sheep.

The Wolf

Mazal Tov. May you continue to see nachas from your children and grandchildren.

The Wolf

can you guess what it might have to do w/ my name????

Because you can flap your wings 90 times per second?

The Wolf

wolf- sorry for using you as a korban- just an easy one.,…

No need to apologize to me. I wasn’t complaining that you use me as an example. I was just puzzled about your conclusions based on my name, since wolves are not large.

The Wolf

i feel it is proper to insert those feelings in then.

It is. But that doesn’t mean that you have to spend all that time doing so while you’re saying Modim. You can spend quality time thanking Him beforehand and then refer to that in thought while reciting Modim during davening.

The Wolf

my s.e is not mainly spent on my needs and is also spent for thanking Hashem for all i have and what He does for me

That is wonderful. However, it can also be done *outside* the context of SE. How about spending 30 to 60 minutes *before* davening (or at some other time) contemplating how wonderful He is to you and how thankful you are to Him?

The Wolf

F has an eruv.

Please let’s not start this here….

The Wolf

Additionally i tried to come to school earlier but then you have everyone coming in after i have started and that creates a distraction that doesnt help either

If people moving around and talking disturb you, how did you handle it when everyone else had finished davening and you were still davening SE?

The Wolf

if you never davened a VERY long Shemone Esrei you have no idea what the poster is talking about

I have, on occasion, davened a very long Shmoneh Esrei. The OP, OTOH, makes it sound like that’s the everyday norm for her. That’s quite different. It should NOT take an hour to daven Shmoneh Esrei every day and the school certainly has no requirement to accommodate her unusual davening habit.

The Wolf

for ex- do you think the wolf is really this big tough guy or a nice quiet guy who just chose that name?

I opened up this thread just to say that my name says that I’m wolfish and that I like to muse. I had no idea that I was being used as an example.

In any event, wolves are not large creatures, so I don’t know why you’d think that I am large based on my name. In any event, I am neither large nor tough (on the contrary, in real life, I shy away from confrontation almost 100% of the time).

The Wolf

The Steipler frequently asked people who were experiencing shalom bauis problems or fertility problems if the shadchan was paid.

Ah, so that’s why that other couple I set up got divorced… because I didn’t want to accept a gift from them.

I knew it was my fault somehow. How could I have been so selfish? 🙁

The Wolf

How do you refer to your parents and to your in-laws when speaking to your spouse?

I may say “Mom” or “Dad,” or I may say “My mother” or “your father” depending on the situation and context.

The Wolf

Several years ago, I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard my co-worker refer to her mother-in-law as “Mrs. ‘Smith’. I thoughr that was little too formal for my liking. Can’t say I have ever heard any Yidden do that.

I called my in-laws “Mr. X*” and “Mrs. X” until my wedding day. After that, it was “Dad” and “Mom.”

The Wolf

* No, not “X.” You know what I mean. 🙂

I boycott hard liquor in general.

The Wolf

When is the earliest and latest you can daven Shachris? Mincha? Maariv?

Shacharis: sunrise, 4th hour

Mincha: half hour past noon, sunset

Maariv: not certain about earliest, sunrise

Are there different shittas as to when shkia is?

No. Anyone can look at the horizon and see when the sun sets.

The Wolf

Is it possible that pre-sorting the laundry is enough trouble that if she has to do it for you, then she wouldn’t need you to fold it?

For example, if she has bad arthritis (I don’t know that that’s the case — it’s just an example), she may be unable to pre-sort the laundry for you without a great deal of difficulty.

For whatever it’s worth, I can guarantee you, there is no tznius violation if you fold her husband’s underwear for her as a chessed.

The Wolf