WolfishMusings

Do minimum wage laws not apply to camp workers?

The Wolf

-Delaying speaking until after davening (especially refraining during kaddish). Please let your “neighbors” in shul in on it and you’ll be the catalyst for their schar as well.

I was not aware that there was an inyan to refrain from talking before davening. Yet another group of sins I need to atone for. I did not know that I should be waking my children on Shabbos morning for shul wordlessly. 🙁

The Wolf

Why is this ok?

I don’t know of anyone who said that it was.

and why do ppl. do it

People do wrong things for lots of reasons. I don’t think that a single line answer will really suffice for this phenomenon.

The Wolf

Firstly, thank you for thinking so highly of me that you wanted my opinion. It’s nice to be thought of as someone who has a positive contribution to make.

Secondly, I almost skipped this thread. I don’t normally read every thread (there just isn’t enough time). If you want to make sure I read the thread, feel free to send me an email alerting me to the thread (you can find it just by Googling my username)

Thirdly, as for the content of your letter itself:

I think Aries said it best — the problem is not with you, but with those with whom you are choosing to associate. I don’t know if the problem you are having is with this one person (or a small group of people) or, perhaps, the entire community. If it’s just the one person, perhaps it’s time to find a new friend.

If it’s the community, and you want to remain a part of that community, you may just have to learn to accept the fact that you may never *truly* be one of “them” and that they will always look upon you as one who is “slightly outside” the norm.

There’s an old prayer called “The Serentiy Prayer” that goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

And wisdom to know the difference.

You cannot change the basic fundamental attitudes of the entire community. If they always think of you as “the outsider,” especially after all these years, then it is unlikely to change in the future. Accept the fact that this will not change, as much as you may wish it to.

Please keep in mind that being thought of as “the outsider” does not meant that they reject you or do not love you. It just means that they recognize that there is something different about you (in this case, your upbringing) and, in some ways, it sets you apart from them. But that’s fine. You can still be an active, participating member of the community, even if you’re viewed as “slightly different.”

I’ve spent a good portion of my life as “the outsider” too, and I know how it feels. But I’ve learned something over the years. Rather than be embarrassed about your difference from the rest of community, simply accept it and, perhaps, even embrace it. It’s a part of you — you can’t excise your upbringing any more than you can excise a part of your soul. Instead, take that difference and make it a strength — that you can see things in a different perspective that other people might not, or that you might have certain insights into problems and situations that might be oblivious to others in the community. In other words, look upon your background not as a weakness, but as a source of strength.

Keep in mind that in any large enough community, you’re going to come across people who are boors, snobs and stuck-ups. And in any large enough community, you’re going to come across people who will recognize that your differences shouldn’t cause you to be branded as an “outsider” or “not truly one of us.” I don’t know what branch of chassidus you belong to, but I’d be willing to bet dollars to donuts that there *must* be people who are willing to accept you as you are, good and bad (as we all have within us), and not view you as “not *truly* one of us” because of your background. Search out and befriend the latter types and either dump the former, or learn to accept their attitudes.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck and happiness.

The Wolf

Thinking about who he’d marry worries me less than thinking there’s no one left.

Thinking about who he’ll marry is perfectly normal.

His thinking that no one is left is probably based on an innocent, mistaken assumption of his. Bring it up and show him (gently, of course) that he’s wrong.

The Wolf

I did not ask.

The Wolf

wolf- did you make it or you just watched EEES doing it? (or did you buy it and then youre a cheater!)

Not only did I not watch Eeees do it, but I didn’t even get it out of a cookbook or other recipe. I invented it on my own (although, admittedly, I did use another mousse recipe as a partial model).

Eeees is a very good cook, but I’ve been known to be able to prepare dishes in the household. One shabbos, while Eeees was studying for exams, I prepared everything for Shabbos, including the challah (from scratch). It was the first time I was ever mafrish challah.

The Wolf

Now you ask about whether or not your allowed to stay with your wife because you started the relationship in such a tumahdik way.

Because you were silly enough to ask a silly sha’aila, does not require me to do so.

The Wolf

Is that a hieku?

To be a haiku

Five, seven and then five more

Syllables must be

The Wolf

Ask yourself two questions:

1. Is it from the prohibited activities of the three weeks?

2. Does it give you excessive simcha?

If the answer to both questions is no, go ahead and cook.

The Wolf

I always thought that it was the ability to multi-task vs. concentrating on one thing for hours. Sinai vs. Oiker Harim.

If that was the case, then it would again be forbidden for me to learn Gemara. I’m very good at multitasking.

The Wolf

If it was intelligence based, then it would be forbidden for me to learn Gemara.

The Wolf

We all gotta work to get everyone back together!!!!!

Everyone? Surely you don’t mean that.

The Wolf

All I can say is that my mother and mother-in-law’s names were on our wedding invitations and, unless my kids object, we plan on having my wife’s name on our kids’ wedding invitations.

The Wolf

They are throwing the dice.

We do that every day of our lives with just about every decision we make.

They will probably marry another divorcee (if they ever remarry) who has their own divorce baggage.

That’s true, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be happy in their second marriages. I know quite a number of divorcees who are happily remarried.

The Wolf

They often end up a sad and lonely divorcee.

They also often go on to find second husbands and wives with whom they are happier than they were with their first spouses.

The Wolf

You should ask a snails if a marriage begun in such a wrong way should be allowed to continue.

I should ask snails? Or did you mean a sha’aila?

I’m not asking a sha’aila if I’m permitted to remain married to my wife.

The Wolf

Or do you think there really is another way?

Again, I don’t know that it was the only way in this case — or if it’s possible that kidnapping and beating someone is ever the “only way.” In the end, it doesn’t matter — I would still not beat someone up. Period.

And you didn’t address my other point. Does the Gemara also authorize calling up the recalcitrant husband’s father and extorting $100,000?

The Wolf

He didn’t do this because he cared

I was responding to your question of “do you care about the woman…?”

So yes, if you can help someone and you don’t, it shows you don’t care

Is kidnapping someone and beating them up the only way to help?

The Wolf

Why not?

Do you care about the woman he is torturing?

Why? Does “not willing to beat him up” = “not caring?”

What if it was your sister?

Which part of “I would not beat someone up” did you fail to understand?

Would you beat a guy up to prevent him from killing someone? How about to prevent him from burning down someone’s business? How about to prevent him from molesting a child?

Don’t be silly. Direct threats to life and limb are not the same as refusing to give a get. Much as I abhor people who withhold a get from their wives either to gain leverage or for petty revenge, it’s just not comparable to the cases you’re presenting.

The Wolf

it may indeed be a fraud, but unless you are familiar with the type of communication with an autistic child called “facilitated communication” that would be a pretty uninformed statement.

personally i am skeptical of the technique but am not certain.

I’m not calling it fraud because I’m not familiar with facilitated communication. I’m calling it fraud because I don’t believe a child wrote this… period. It’s just not the way a child speaks/writes.

The Wolf

it leads to cheating/infidelity %100 or wishing you could.

Baloney. I have never cheated, or wished I could cheat, with any guest who has been to my house.

The Wolf