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I know that this isn’t going to be of much help but, as a parent, when my young kids would make a mess, make noise or otherwise just be children, I reminded myself that there people who would love to have such problems.
It doesn’t actually solve your problem (Lord knows it didn’t get my house clean 🙂 ), but it always helped me to keep things in perspective.
The Wolf
Wolf the gezeirah of David was yichud penuya. Yichud isha is d’oraysa.
Fair enough, but my understanding of a live-in maid is that they are usually single, no? If married, wouldn’t they live with their spouse?
Essentially any Derabbanan is a Deoraysoh of Lo Sasur.
While that is technically true, it is not applied for practical reasons. If you actually applied that reasoning, then there would never be *anything* that is d’rabbanan. You could never apply the rule of “safek rabbannan l’hakel” since every d’rabbannan is also d’oreisa.
The Wolf
It’s a d’oraisa
Considering that yichud was instituted by Dovid as a response to the Amnon/Tamar incident, how can it be said that it is d’oraisa?
The Wolf
I’m pretty sure that it’ll be just as applicable in 2014, 2015…
The Wolf
I think I heard somewhere that the elementary school is on Avenue I. :p
The Wolf
Personally, if you’re going to tip, the best way to do it is to wait until they’re nearly asleep, then sneak up behind them and give them a big shove.
2. If he feels that his workers did a great job then he should tip them! They are working for him, not me!!
In all seriousness, do you also not tip waitstaff at a restaurant based on the logic that the server works for the restaurant and not you?
The Wolf
BTW, The Be’er Heteiv on this siman in Shulchan Aruch, discussing “sichas Chulin” during Chazaras HaShatz states that one should not sing along with the Shatz.
I have been guilty of this.
Perhaps therefore, it is correct that I make it a policy to never rebuke anyone for talking in shul, even if it disturbs me.
The Wolf
I believe the doctrine is called “fruit of the poisoned tree.”
In any event, punishing the cops isn’t necessarily a possibility as often, the parameters of what is a valid search/seizure is decided by a court — often years after the fact. I don’t think you can (or should) punish cops for doing their jobs in a way that, at the time, was understood to be legal.
The Wolf
Analogy:
A man owns a factory that produces widgets. The owner hires a foreman to actually run the operational aspects of the factory.
While the foreman is the one responsible for physically creating the widgets, it’s still the owner who decides how many widgets get made each day and in what colors and sizes.
“Holding the keys” may not mean that He physically does it, but rather that He makes the decisions as to when and where the rain falls.
After all, when Eliyahu held the keys, if he would have decided that it should rain, he wouldn’t have had to physically create the rain, but rather simply decree when/where it should fall.
The Wolf
Not everybody here knows what they are talking about (Halachically or otherwise).
True, of course. But I make it a policy to treat everyone as if they are smarter than I am (because, in all probability, they are). So, if I’m davening Ma’ariv on Shabbos and someone is saying Kabbalos Shabbos loudly next to me and disturbing my davening, I just sit and cope as best as I can. If someone’s discussing sports next to me while I’m davening, I just try to tune him out as best I can.
The only exceptions are: (1) my own kids and (2) if someone tries to involve me. In the latter case, I tell them that I’ll be happy to talk with them after davening. That’s as close as I’ll come to a rebuke of anyone.
The Wolf
I, for one, am equally annoyed when people daven so loud that I can’t concentrate.
I complained about that once on these boards. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I had no right to complain about someone else davening loudly and disturbing my davening, even when he wasn’t even in the same part of davening as everyone else.
That’s part of the reason that I no longer rebuke anyone for talking during davening, laining, or, for that matter, for anything else. I just accept that if I’m ready to complain then I must be wrong and it’s better that I just keep my mouth shut.
The Wolf
those who cant help but learn during davening?
What the heck does that mean? Is someone holding a gun to their heads and saying “learn, or else?” Are their Roshei Yeshiva going around saying “I’d better see you learning during Chazaras HaShatz…?”
The Wolf
1. Talk during Cazaras hashatz and krias hatorah.
Why would you do something that is basically disrespectful to HKBH, Jewish or not?
The Wolf
Why do you assume all Ravs in the world speak English?
Let me guess… you also wonder why all the actors in Les Miserables are speaking English when they very clearly should be speaking French?
The Wolf
If it were discovered that I were not Jewish, every Rav in the world would probably say “good riddance.”
Unfortunately for them, I am Jewish.
The Wolf
6 – 10. See 1 – 5 again.
11. Adults needlessly repeat themselves.
The Wolf
6) please tell us where the food is and/or which food we can eat, especially if we come around dinner time. we don’t enjoy rummaging thru your cabinets to find stale pretzels.
7) if you plan on staying out very late (definition varies, but i’d say passed 11pm), then tell me BEFORE i accept the job. maybe i have a test or school the next day? and for goodness sakes, dont call at 11:30 and say you’ll be back in 15 minutes and then don’t come home for an hour. at least tell me your stuck in traffic
8) please call 5-10 minutes before you’ll be home. i’m not doing anything terrible, but its common courtesy. this gives me time to hang up the phone with my friend, gather my books, wake up if i fell asleep… or at least knock before you come in.
9) i watched your kids, maybe even fed them, put them to sleep etc. pay me at least as much as you would your cleaning lady. if you’re not sure what the going rate is, just ask. chances are its more than you think.
As a former babysitter when I was a teen (and now, as the parent of a teen babysitter), I have to say that these truly resonate with me.
The Wolf
Talking during davening is one of my pet peeves. Few things bother me more.
However, I don’t admonish people about it. I just sit there and bear it. The one time I actually said something to someone about it, I felt incredibly guilty and bad about it. I will not being doing so again in the future. Instead, I’ll just do what I usually do — sit and do a slow burn.
The Wolf
As I get older, I find that it is increasingly difficult to stay up all night after a near full day of work.
As a result, I’ve adopted the practice of sleeping about a half an hour or so after the seudah on Shavuous night (waking up at about 11:00 or 11:30) and then staying up learning the rest of the night.
Yes, I understand that this is not the proper way to observe the minhag, but I find myself the victim of advancing age. Yes, some of you will admonish me that there are people older than I who can do it and that, therefore, I must not be trying hard enough. If that’s what you want to believe, I can’t stop you.
In this event, I would think that performing the minhag improperly (as I do) is better than not doing it at all. If you disagree, then so be it. I’m not going to stop learning through most the night just because some feel that if I can’t stay up the entire night then I’m better off not doing it at all.
The Wolf
hence that the Yeshivos should be closed on all legal holidays
Well, not all.
My kids’ schools are off on almost all legal holidays, but they still have school on Christmas. 🙂
The Wolf
Without mentioning names, in a recent molestation case, the family of the victim was hounded, threatened and pressured to retract the accusal by people of importance. The family of the victim righfully did not want to see other children molested, so they did not.
Even worse, in this particular case, one prominent Rav not only defended the person who ended up pleading guilty, he even went so far as to publicly accuse the father of the victim of committing the crime.
The Wolf
Wolfish, I don’t know why someone should take you to task for using that website you really should be taken to task for making supper!!!! You said your wife enjoyed it what in the world are you doing making supper? As the man of the house you should not even chas vsholom know your way around the kitchen.
You joke about it, but there was someone on these boards who actually insisted that it was forbidden for me to cook meals for my family.
The Wolf
who or what is garak?
If you don’t know who Garak is, then you are no resident of DS9. 🙂
The Wolf
You’re Garak, right? Plain, simple Garak.
The Wolf
These women should either learn the sugyos of tevila b’iyun or not make these halachic determinations. I have come across a few stories (first and second hand) of Mikva Women making terrible halachic mistakes with potentially grave consequences.
I fully agree with your point that women (and men) should be well-versed in halachic areas in which they rule. But the fact remains that we *do* allow women to rule in these areas.
The Wolf
I don’t see how there would be a problem with a woman trained in these halachos answering shailos for other women, and such a system may have a lot of benefit for the mitzvah of taharas hamishpacha.
Especially inasmuch as women today *are* making halachic decisions for other women in certain aspects. The main one I can think of is when a woman immerses in the mikvah, another woman makes the halachic determination whether or not the immersion was halachically valid. They also make halachic determinations regarding chatzitos before immersion as well.
The Wolf
It’s funny, because nobody ever seems to actually take you to task on the issues where you claim they will.
It’s pre-emptive. 🙂
The Wolf
My mother was a clever woman, she only had 15 kids because she heard that every sixteenth kid born in America is an Indian.[Jackie]
Reminds me about the old joke about the guy who told his friend that whenever he went on an airplane, he would bring along a bomb.
“What?” the friend asked, astonished. “Are you nuts? Do you want to blow up the plane?”
“No, of course not,” the man explained. “I’m just playing the odds. What are the odds that there would ever be *two* bombs on a plane?”
The Wolf
Last night, I was looking for something new and different to make for dinner. I found a recipe on Epicurious* for boneless chicken with lemon, cumin, garlic and mint. I wasn’t sure how it would come out, but apparently my wife and sons really, really liked it.
For a side dish, I simply took some mushrooms, onions and string beans and sauteed them with some oil and garlic salt.
The Wolf
* Yes, I know some of you will take me to task for being on a recipe site that has non-kosher recipes. I don’t care.
May you and your wife have many times that number of years together in good health, Wolf!
Amen! Thank you for that wonderful bracha Oomis. 🙂
The Wolf
Stop shouting.
By policy, I refuse to read anything that is in ALL CAPS.
No matter how important or true your statement is, it does not become any more important or true by using ALL CAPS. All it does is make it harder for the reader to read.
The Wolf
Nearly 36 years and counting, B”H.
Ah, you beat me too it and took my answer (although, in my case, it’s only 25 years).
The Wolf
Whose idea was it to allow (and even encourage?) something as disrespectful as putting pins through seforim just so that someone can show off how well they can memorize a set of images?
The Wolf
Do your IRL friends generally agree with you that you are a horrible rasha, or are they like us and disagree?
Considering I haven’t posted anything along those lines in at least half a year…
In any event, I don’t know what other people think. I don’t generally go around asking people “What do you think of me?”
The Wolf
A few people here know who I really am. It doesn’t bother me.
The Wolf
I wasn’t referring to the 12 Mazalos of the zodiac. I was talking about the seven heavenly bodies. We would have to switch Mars for Earth.
Ah, I misunderstood. My apologies.
It would be a bit more complicated than simply switching Earth for Mars.
Firstly, of the “planets” of antiquity, the moon was first because it was closest to Earth. An observer on Mars, of course, would not find this to be so. In addition, since the Moon orbits the Earth and not Mars, I’m not even sure how it should be represented, if at all.
In addition, Earth would have to be third and the Sun fourth.
Lastly, Mars has two moons and they are very different from Earth’s moon. Unlike the “planets” of antiquity as seen from Earth, Phobos rises in the west and sets in the east.
The Wolf
Which Mazalos do they count there, ShaTzaA ChaNKaL? In what order?
Actually, the constellations on Mars would be the exact same as the ones on Earth. The distance between Earth and Mars is not great enough to change the shapes of the constellations.
However, there would be two major differences.
First, the North Star on Mars would not be Polaris, as it is here on Earth*. There is no true North Star on Mars — the celestial North Pole from Mars would pass through a point between Deneb and Sadr.
Secondly, the path of the Zodiac is slightly different than here on Earth.
The Wolf
* Yes, I know Polaris isn’t exactly on the celestial North Pole, but it’s close enough for everyday purposes.
More to the point, who are you to decide whether I need something or not?
As many of you know, I have a photography hobby. Some of you have seen my pictures and know that I can create some very nice images with my camera gear. You can often find me walking in the street with $1500+ of camrea gear(camera body, lens, tripod, flash, filters, etc.).
You may say to yourself “why does he need such expensive gear when you can get a simple point and shoot camera for $70? Lots of people take nice images with point-and-shoots.” But who are you to make that determination for me?
The Wolf
Wolf: Good question. It may be that Yaakov was alive (physically) in Mitzrayim and that’s all well and good, but spiritually, disconnected from his father, which is a type of death.
I think you meant Yosef.
But in any event, it doesn’t answer the question. You said that the Avos had the same Torah today and that they understood on levels and planes that we can’t. That’s all fine and well, but still, Ya’akov was able to read, correct? If he had the same Torah that we do, (and with a much greater understanding) then why didn’t he know Yosef was alive by a simple reading of the pesukim.
The Wolf
The Torah of the Avos is the same Torah as today. Part of the answer may lie in the fact that the Avos had a very unique and perceptive ability/intellect (far beyond ours) which could “see” or “experience” different realities.
So, again, the question is put to you: Ya’akov Avinu could “see” or “experience” different realities in the Torah with his perceptive abilities that are far beyond ours and yet but couldn’t read the pasuk that said that Yosef was alive and well in Egypt?
The Wolf
Confession: The Second Amendment is a little out of date and should be taken out of the Constitution altogether.
In what way is that a confession? Did you cause the Second Amendment to go out of date?
The Wolf
Full disclosure: I am not, in fact, a wolf. I am, in reality, a cross between a cicada and a rhinoceros.
The Wolf
popa_bar_abba: While it’s true that we name the eidim involved, I have never seen or heard the words “to the exclusion of …” (or something similar) being stated, which implies that anyone *close* enough to the Chupah (and clearly not related to chosson & kallah) are witnessing the event.
The mesader kidushin by my wedding did this.
The Wolf
Oh, wait… swiet is Joseph?
Well then, that explains it — for he is a completely unrepentant liar and fraudster as evidenced by the use of multiple screen names.
The Wolf
Swiet,
How about if, instead of harping on the fact that you won’t get caught (on which you’re wrong, but let’s leave it for the moment), how about telling us how you justify it with regard to the prohibitions on lying, theft and fraud?
Or are you so amoral that everything’s okay with you as long as you can get away with it?
The Wolf
“No” is an answer too.
In other words, they’re promising an answer (which they can’t) with the fallback position of “it was answered — no” which you (and they) have no way of knowing whether it is true or not.
The Wolf
FWIW, I, too have a paid Yahoo account. I’ve had it since 1999. I’m a digital pack rat and have every email ever sent to me*. I’m certainly not switching now.
The Wolf
* To clarify: If a person sent me an email that was not distributed to an entire list (i.e. my shul’s Z’manim list, for example) or spam or strictly commercial (like from stores whom I allow to send me email), then I keep it.
It doesn’t follow you.
You just don’t get it, do you?
Leaving aside from the moment that you’re wrong about no one ever finding out (HR people talk, even if off the record), there’s just the fact that it’s flat-out dishonest and wrong. M’dvar Sheker Tirchak doesn’t stop at one’s resume. Prohibitions against fraud don’t stop at one’s resume either.
The Wolf
I’m talking about applying for a national/international company not a heimishe one. So your point about YK and forgiveness is incorrect in this case.
The ease with which you justify lying for financial gain is disturbing. I wasn’t aware that M’dvar Sheker Tirchak only applied between Jews or only applied if you thought there might be future consequences.
The Wolf
The gemorah discusses each of these cases, IIRC (Megalgalin). From what I have learned, according to the Shittah of Torah Chasumah Nitna (that we are assuming), the question was one of applicability (meaning if the Halacha as will be tought should be applied at that point), not of knowledge.
That’s very difficult to say when the pasuk explicitly states that the manner of death penalty for the Shabbos desecrator was not explicitly stated.
The Wolf