WolfishMusings

A godol hador told me he was in someone’s home and was disturbed to see that they hung up their kesuba on the wall. (He didn’t tell me whose home it was.)

But *why* was he disturbed?

The Wolf

FWIW, neither my degrees nor my wife’s hang in the house. Neither for that matter, does anything that we, ourselves, worked on (we do have a wedding picture, some Jewish art and a fake kesubah). However, Eeees now wants to hang up one of my pictures.

The Wolf

Sam, if so, r”l, I retract my earlier comment to Wolf.

Why? It’s abundently clear from Chazal that *everyone* — from the biggest tzaddik to the worst rasha, are rewarded for the good they do. Why should he be any different?

The Wolf

Let’s also keep in mind that he’s not doing this for private gain, but rather to raise money for tzedakah. That’s got to count for something too.

The Wolf

The Wolf: Maybe after Dovid was stillborn – There were twins remaining in Rivka’s womb.

Are you claiming that Rivka went into birth, gave birth to a stillborn, *then* ran off to receive her prophecy, and then returned to give birth to the remaining twins?

The Wolf

Dovid Hamelech was originally supposed to be the oldest sibling but he ended up being a stillborn.

That directly contradicts the verse which states that there were twins in Rivka’s womb.

The Wolf

I’d say that fathers prefer sons,

Well, again, this father does not.

I wanted a son first for one particular reason — absent that reason, I wouldn’t have cared. I also wanted at least one of each — beyond that, again, I would have been equally happy with sons or daughters.

The Wolf

IM confused, you have pictures of us???

Yes, we stalk you 24/7 with our advanced surveillance equipment. By the way, you have some sauce on your chin. 🙂

Seriously, the reference is to my photography.

The Wolf

They went to a rabbi, got a blessing and exactly one year later they had a ….. BOY!!!!

so the answer is yes. boys are more desirable than girls.

Let me get this straight… because a couple got a bracha from a rav and had a boy a year later, that proves that boys are more desirable than girls? That’s proof?

The Wolf

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

— Attributed to Mark Twain (but probably not actually by him).

And if you like Groucho, then there’s this classic:

“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”

The Wolf

Hey, if you ever think you know me in real life, don’t be shy. Feel free to ask. I’m only semi-anonymous anyway.

The Wolf

WM, I think he was referring to the mass execution of the witches of Ashkelon.

I was well aware of what he was talking about — and yet, you still have to deal with the same SbS who was frustrated that he couldn’t do anything about someone whom he knew to be a killer. If he could punish extra-judicially on a whim, why was he so frustrated?

It should be noted that in the case of the witches and in the other case quoted in the Yerushalmi above, the procedures and executions were still handled through a Bais Din. Yes, they may have fudged on the procedures somewhat, but it wasn’t one person unilaterally declaring that so-and-so should be killed and then going out and having it done. The case that we are dealing with here is one person declaring that a person who does this or that should be stoned. No one today, no matter how big a gadol, has the right to do so and, unlike in SbS’s time, there is no Bais Din that can be convened today to handle such cases.

That might explain why SbS could do what he did with the witches but still be vexed over his inability to punish a known murderer.

The Wolf

Do a gadol have the right to actually execute people without proper adjudication? Even on a hora’as sha’ah basis? I don’t think so.

The Wolf

Yes. Ayin Shimon Ben Shetach.

You mean the very same Shimon ben Shetach who expressed great frustration at his *inability* to execute a killer whom he knew to be guilty?

The Wolf

I miss WolfishMusings.

The Wolf

Murderers all plead insanity

That’s not true at all. Insanity is used as a defense in a tiny minority of cases.

OTD teens all blame Rebbeim

Some do, but I think it’s far from all.

As an aside, what does this have to do with Gedolim? The prohibition against hitting someone applies regardless of the gadlus of the person. Even hitting someone like me would probably be forbidden – no matter how much you thought I deserved it.

The Wolf

Proposals almost certainly count as those situations.

Except that you’re missing one important part — intent.

The chosson knows that he’s going to do an actual kiddushin later by the chuppah and that he doesn’t mean for this to be a kiddushin.

The kallah knows that she’s going to receive a ring for kiddushin under the chuppah and that this isn’t an actual kiddushin.

The people viewing the event know that there will be an actual kiddushin under the chuppah and that the engagement ring is not being given l’shem kiddushin.

Since everyone involved knows that this is not an actual kiddushin, it seems fairly clear that giving an engagement ring (as is commonly done these days) is not an actuall ma’aseh kiddushin.

The Wolf

Buy her flowers, and pay the florist to deliver them to the Yichud room. That way you can be done with it quickly, so there’s one less thing to think about.

I disagree with you here.

When speaking to chossonim and kallos, I often tell them not to let the wedding drive them crazy. While it is an important day, it is only one day — one day out of the many that they will spend together for the rest of their lives. As important as it is, it’s still only one day — and it’s not worth spoiling the ones that follow just for that one day.

However, when it comes to a gift for the yichud room, that’s something that she’s going to remember the rest of her life. As a result, you want that memory to be a good one for her in the years to come. So don’t just pick flowers because it’s expedient and “one less thing to think about.” Pick something that’s meaningful. Put more effort into her gift than you do into your suit, the choice of music or who gets which kibbud. Your suit will eventually be worn out, the music will be a passing fad and who got which kibbud will be unimportant in your future life.

If she adores flowers, then by all means, get them. But don’t do it just because it’s easy. Go for meaningful over easy. You’ll win every time.

The Wolf

Think outside the box.

If she’s not into jewelery, then find something else. Who cares if it’s not “traditional.” Does she have a favorite classic book? Find a first edition of it. Does she enjoy hiking? Buy a nice pair of hiking boots.

The point is this: choose a gift that will show your kallah that you thought about her and the type of gift that would please her, and that you’re willing to buck conventional standards for her.

The Wolf

Getting on one knee is an Issur D’oraisa of Chukas Akum.

I didn’t know that. I’ll have to find a new way to tie my shoes, I suppose.

Interesting story: Eeees and I had been dating for a while, but neither of us were yet ready to get married. Nonetheless, one day, I was in her kitchen and she had her back to me. I said to her “Eeees, I need to ask you something.” At the same time, I had bent down (and got down on one knee) to tie my shoes. She thought I was going to propose at that moment, but the question I intended to ask was completely unrelated (I knew we weren’t ready to get married yet).

We still like to joke about that many years later. When I did actually propose, it was not on one knee.

The Wolf

I don’t see why this must be one or the other. For some people suffering strengthens faith while for others it weakens it. It probably depends on the personality and makeup of the person.

The Wolf

We actually mevazer and endanger a sefer torah just so the olam shouldn’t have to wait while we roll it from parsha to parsha.

While I understand your point, I fail to see how taking out another sefer is a danger to it or is a bizui of that sefer.

The Wolf

I don’t understand.

When it comes to shukling, it’s not okay to disturb your neighbor, but when I complained about someone too loud right next to me (and not even davening the part that the tzibbur was up to), I was told I have no right to be upset at him and that he was in the right even if it meant that I couldn’t daven properly.

The Wolf