Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
If you pick games like scrabble, make sure you are matched in skills, it doesn’t do much for a relationship if one side always feels like the loser. or if both are very competitive.
LU, everything you said about seminary in Israel is true, it’s an experience that is life changing and wonderful.
But there are some girls whose parent can’t afford it- think about how much it costs, x however many girls there are in the family.
Also, some don’t feel it is right for a single girl to be on her own, far from her family, even if in a supervised dorm. Some girls grow and mature, and some don’t handle the freedom well.
Mostly, chasidim feel that way and don’t send their daughters to learn in E”Y.
These are legitimate viewpoints, and girls shouldn’t be made to feel second class if that is their circumstances.
If more girls stayed, there would be more options in the US, just as the options in E”Y have expanded with the increased demand.
Women are about half the population. 17-18 yr old girls is just 1/80th or so of that half (assuming 80 yr lifespan). They may be over-represented on this forum, however.
It sounds horrible…but there are certain types of kids- kids who have no fear, don’t follow instructions, have lots of curiosity and run off every time the parents turn around, or even when they don’t turn around. It is especially difficult if the parents have other kids with them too, who also need their parent’s attention. For those types of kids, it is protecting them to have them on a leash, and lets the parent go out without worrying about what might happen to the kid.
Joseph thanks- that answered a long-standing question I had. It seems a bit unfair to those whose parents lived in states like Florida that they are excluded.
There are plenty of seminaries in the US, even more now to fill the need of those who don’t go to E”Y. I’m a bit out of date on them, but you can see the adds in the frum nagazines/newspapers. The need for dorms will depend on whether the student body is local or not, and whether the community can board students or not. But I don’t think that a dorm makes a seminary.
But I guess this is what Alizgit means that “going to seminary” means different things to different people- ZD, to you it means moving away from home to a school with a dorm.
I don’t think that it was the monetary value that triggered the massive search- since as ZD said, the search probably cost way more than a new pair.
Nor what is it for the sentimental value, or the fact that they may have historical significance.
It is the fact that tefillin are tashmishei kedusha and should not be in a garbage dump. Even if they were ruined.
In the zechus of all that was done to preserve kavod shem shamayim and kedusha, may those involved in the search be blessed!
Yes, expatriots vote in the last state they lived in. I always wondered about the next generation- the children who get US citizenship because their parents are citizens, but were born outside the US and never lived there. As citizens they should have the right to vote. Do they take on the state of their parents? Which one? Actually, it’s a bit strange that someone who never lived in a country can vote; on the other hand, since laws made there do affect them, I guess they should have a right to chose the lawmakers.
There was recently an English translation put out. I think though that since girls/women are educated more than they were in Europe and learn Chumash inside with meforshim, that there really is no need for tzeena ureena as there was in the past. It’s out for nostalgic reasons.
Here’s a low-tech solution- play the music and mark down the time of the word cues. Then set up a timed presentation, with each slide coming up at the appropriate time. Go to transitions, you can chose the timing options there, to advance slides by click or after specified time. It may be tedious, but I think it can work.
First of all, it is good that you realize that such decisions cannot be left to heart/emotions alone, but are also using your logic.
Don’t know the right answer, if there is one, but here are some questions for you to think about:
Are you expecting him to change to be more like your vision of what you want to marry?
Would you be disappointed/frustrated if he doesn’t?
Does he feel the same way you do- sounds like he liked the girl you set him up with, is he even thinking in the same direction that you are? Having a friendship with a girl he grew up with may not mean anything to him.
Lots of girls date for years, and in the end marry someone they were not looking for, who didn’t have what they wanted but had everything they (didn’t realize that they) needed. Maybe this is such a case, but you have to honestly answer the above questions first. Others do marry the type they wanted, but then life circumstances change, and the plans/goals change accordingly, and they end up living very differently from what they had wanted. In your situation, you had least would not face such a surprise.
Hatzlacha!
Joseph- your quote actually does not suggest that they are enforcing the edict- after all, you mention that “they pull them by their hair” to the police station. If they have hair, then they have not shaved, so why are they being punished for breaking the edict? Sounds to me like just “ordinary” tormenting, not spot-checking and punishing the law-breakers. Unless there was something missing in the beginning of the quote?
Mammele- Americans in Israel vote by absentee ballot. Supposedly they are only opened and counted if the vote is close enough to make a difference. Assuming this is true, then they would not be counted towards the popular vote.
kj- I agree with LU. The OP was asking about seminaries, not about the shita of zionism. when she mentioned a zionist seminary, she was not talking about secular zionism, or a place that teaches kefira, but about a frum school that emphasizes ahaavat eretz yisroel. What exactly do you think goes on in such a school that she needs saving from? They will be taught that it is a mitzva to live in EY and they will say hallel on yom haatzmaut. It may be a bracha l’vatala according to many shitos, but I would not call it kefira. We know the satmar shita on zionism; so do the Religious Zionists and note that their rabbanim have not changed their shita in all this time. So there really is no point bringing up the Satmar shita when it was not asked for and will not be heeded.
Rubashkin did not go to prison over the illegal alien issue- those charges were ultimately dropped. He went to prison for bank fraud, supposedly the length of his prison term was proportional to the amount of money involved (although I think the bank actually benefited from the deal and went along willingly). I think in his case the huge publicity and support by the frum community back-fired- the judge wanted to make a point that she could not be influenced by the pressure and made an example of him by giving down a harsh sentence. and anti-semitism played a role as well.
I don’t think Trump would have a problem with shady business practices.
I think the take-home message is that it was so unlikely that Trump would become president (he probably never meant to get this far either and it all started out as a game for him) and his statements and behavior would have knocked out many a candidate, since bullies do not usually get ahead, that clearly you can see the Yad Hashem orchestrating it. Whether Hashem wants him there for our good or for our bad remains to be seen. If the latter, then tell your kids it is a wake-up call for us to remember our status in galus and what we are supposed to be doing.
Ubiquitin- my point is that as much as you don’t want your children to think that the bully wins, you also don’t want them thinking that lying is a means that justifies the end. Trump didn’t win because he bullied people into voting for him. I think he won despite his nature, because the democrats put up a really flawed candidate against him. Almost any other mainstream Democrat would have for sure won against him.
In any case, sadly, being president doesn’t mean you are automatically a role model, and every frum kid should be told that our morality and code of behavior is based on the Torah, and not on who is sitting in the White House.
It is interesting that the line of how do you explain to children how Trump could be president has come up over and over. Is this the first time an immoral/indecent person has become president? How would people have explained Clinton, a person who for decades has been under suspicion of corruption? How did people explain to their children why Bill Clinton was impeached? Or Obama’s extreme narcissism? Keep on going back..Kennedy, Nixon, etc etc. Middos Tovos and moral convictions have never been a consideration for someone’s electability. The only difference is that today there is social media to spread their garbage publicly.
Here is the explanation to give our kids: B”H we as klal yisroel are on a higher madreiga than our surroundings. America has low moral values, and their president reflects this. This is our challenge of being in galus that we have to remember who we are and what we strive for despite our surroundings.
In a nutshell, while a lot of what is wrong with believing in Yeshu came about after his death from his followers/early Christians (probably the divinity part of it), in his own lifetime he was clearly a sinner- a false prophet who tried to influence other Jews to deny the Torah. You can call him a teacher, but he wasn’t teaching Torah according to the accepted Mesora (tradition). In fact, the Sanhedrin (main Jewish court) condemned him to death for these sins (although since they were under Roman rule at the time, this was merely symbolic, and they did not have the authority to actually carry out the sentence. The Romans had him crucified because they considered him a rebel).
Now that Clinton is B”H out of the picture, wouldn’t it be cool if Trump steps down (he could blame it on Melania, that she prefers Trump Tower to the White House), and we get Pence for President?
Yeah, I know, wishful thinking, would never happen. But lots of people said the same thing about Trump winning…
you’re best bet would be to call Touro and ask them. In general though, non-matriculated students can take college courses but they pay more per credit. I don’t know if this applies to specific master’s programs.
It just reminds me of a story about a kid who “ran away from home” all the way to his grandmother’s house because he was upset when his mother punished him by taking away his kugelach. Grandmother could not understand how mother could be so cruel as to deny her son a piece of kugel.
Here goes:
Coffee Toffee Chocolate Pie
preheat oven to 350F (180C)
Crust: 1 1/4 C rolled oats
1/3 C margarine (I use oil)
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C ground pecans or walnuts
1 oz (28 g) grated chocolate (I use potato peeler to scrape a square of baker’s chocolate)
1 tsp vanilla extract
combine above, press into 9 inch round springform pan or tart pan. bake 15 min.
Toffee filling
1 C margarine (I use oil)
4 oz (115 g) bittersweet chocolate
4 eggs beaten
2 C confectioner’s sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
Melt margarine and chocoalte in double boiler. stir in beaten eggs, slowly stir in sugar until smooth. remove from flame, then add vanilla, stir until smooth, pour on top of crust. freeze until firm.
Topping
1 8oz container parve whipping cream
1 tsp coffee, dissolved in 1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 Tbsp vanilla sugar
beat the whip until soft peaks form, add in coffee/vanillas. smooth over the tofee, refreeze.
decorate with crushed Viennese Crunch, shredded chocolate or chocolate curls.
Enjoy and don’t forget to save a piece for lightbrite.
So what will his cabinet look like?
I imagine Christie will be Sect Transportation, because of his fondness for bridges.
Guliani Homeland Security or Attorney General
Any other suggestions for the President Elect Donald J Trump?
kugels in cupcake holders are kugelletes not kugelach
minyan gal – do you really want the recipe? It is quite long- there is a crust and then the toffee part and then a coffee whip cream on top. Right now I don’t have the time, but if you really want it I will post it tomorrow IYH.
“hen you connect to the site your ip address – a number that’s associated with your internet connection – is registered. It can be easilly set up that no one can open a second account from the same ip address, or that if they try to do so the mods will be notified. “
What if two or more family members using the same internet connection or even same computer want to have separate accounts?
Anyone who has an aversion to parve desserts has not tried my coffee toffee pie (an old Mishpacha recipe). so rich and yum, you can barely finish your piece!
There are posters who post outrageous statements just for fun or to start interesting threads, but it is usually pretty obvious that they are not for real – PBA is a master at that- but I don’t think that is what you meant by faking.
I think MA just implicated himself…
I really am curious though to know if she makes it thru her courses and actually becomes a pharmacist.
maybe she will peek in here at some future point and update us (assuming the rest of us are still around)
All she has to do us use H”H and we will know it is her- it’s sort of her personal signature or fingerprint!
“I sometimes pretend to be smarter than I am. “
But is anyone convinced?
1. remove ice cream sandwich from freezer
2. unwrap
3. remove top cookie
4. with spoon, scoop out ice cream and put in bowl
5. replace upper cookie
6. eat cookies with ice cream on the side
problem solved!
Just wondering…there are many things that my very litvish outlook finds puzzling about chasidik practices, and I could never see myself being chasidish, but I don’t think that they care what I think, or what anyone else thinks. Is there toeles questioning someone else’s minhagim? They will follow their own leaders and poskim, even if other poskim disagree, which is what they are supposed to do. If the poskim want to argue about it, great, but how does it exactly change anything if some anonymous litvaks discuss how they think a particular minhag is wrong, other than to increase division among klal yisroel? I don’t think this falls under hocheach tocheach.
I though one person could not have more than 1 username?
I am wondering about the premise of the OP’s question- i assume you are referring to emails made public. Is it a question of to whom the email belongs to, Jew vs non-Jew, or is the question whether an email is considered private mail? Does it matter what server it was on?
Princess- I think this will be a habit that will take more than 8 h to break. Keep up the good work.
I noticed that co-workers usually avoid the crude language when they were in my presence, which goes to show you that who you hang out with will affect how you speak. Try to stick with friends with refined speech, you will find yourself talking like them.
Neville- unless you are doing an express next day delivery, it’s sometimes very hard to predict when something you order will arrive. if you choose the free shipping option, then you are usually given a range of several days for expected delivery, or you are told they will deliver by certain date. sometimes they surprise you and deliver earlier than the expected date. sometimes your order is broken up into different shipments that arrive on different days. the delivery person is probably not Jewish, and you are not asking them to deliver on shabbos. Wouldn’t it be similar to hiring a goy to do some service for you (say fix your computer), as I remember the halacha, if they decided to do the work on shabbos, that is their choice, it is not a problem, as long as they could have theoretically done the work a different time. Meaning, you could not bring in your computer Fri afternoon and expect it back Sun morning, but if you brought it to the store on Wed, and they could have done it Thurs or Fri, but chose to do it on Shabbos, that is ok.
maybe she is busy with midterms.
maybe her account was closed (I seem to remember some comment by a moderator recently about such a possibility)
I agree with shopping that there is no reason to worry.
To follow up on LuL’s post, in a way, the word crisis is self-fulfilling. Girls know there is a shidduch crisis, so their whole approach to dating is more desperate even when they are just starting at a young age. Maybe they will start dating younger that they would really want to, so as not to “miss the boat.” maybe their decisions about who to date and who to marry are compromised by the thought in back of their mind that if it is not this one, maybe they won’t get married at all. And if they are not married by 21, they begin to panic that they becoming one of those infamous statistics, and that just activates the crisis mode even more!
health, when people say shidduch crisis, I don’t think they are talking about older previously married adults with kids who want or don’t want to get remarried. Or are you referring to older never married singles whose choices are limited since the divorcees/widowers of their age do not want to remarry? I don’t have any statistics, but I would guess that divorcees/widowers who want to remarry far outnumber those who don’t.
I would not use the word crisis to describe, say, widows in their 60s or more who would like to get remarried but can’t find anyone. Sad and lonely for them, yes, but not a communal crisis.
I don’t think Rabbis telling women they don’t have a chiyuv to get married is a reason for the shidduch crisis- it wouldn’t be a crisis if the singles want to be single and now have an excuse to do what they want. the crisis comes from the fact that women want to get married but can’t for many reasons that have been discussed here multiple times.
Happiness is a state of mind, it has to come from within you, and not be dependent on your situation. That is obviously very hard to achieve when you are not where you really want to be- married with a family. R’ Ezriel Tauber once gave a talk on this issue- I am summarizing what he said, the way I understood it and the way it helped me when I was still single- everyone davens for their yeshua- whether it is to get married or have children, and sometimes the answer is “not yet”. Until that time comes, instead of thinking of your current life as just a waiting time until your tefillos are answered, you have to realize that you are exactly where and who Hashem wants you to be at that moment. That doesn’t mean that you give up on the dream and the tefillos, it just means that you are ok as you are, for the meantime. You have to find your tafkid/fulfillment now.
And by the way, marriage does not always mean happily ever after. It’s not a happy ending, but a new beginning and it can bring its own sets of challenges and issues. Unfortunately, older singles who married late can still have other problems/challenges as a married, just like everyone else. But once you figure out how to be happy despite what life throws you, you can face those challenges too. maybe that is an advantage of being an older single- you learn how to face challenges and overcome them.
Theoretically, there could be 2 benefits to it:
1. would solve the problem of there being more girls than boys of dating age.
2. would solve the problem of the working mother- one wife would work to help support the family (as a second income, or so husband can learn) and the other wife can raise the kids.
But…it would never happen.
Aside from the fact that it is illegal, the practice does not just depend on the man-and what woman would want to become someone’s second wife? Singles are reluctant to do so even now when the first wife is deceased or divorced, can’t imagine they would want to when she is still in the same house! And what wife would want to share her husband with a “tzara”?
Sparkly, when you go to a shadchan they will ask you to describe yourself, who you are and what you are looking for. Can you really answer those questions honestly? From the things that you have posted here, just a few months ago you described yourself as MO who was looking for a very smart doctor, didn’t matter if he was shomer negia as long as he didn’t smoke. A few weeks ago you told us that you “frummed out” and are now yeshivish and want a yeshivish guy who is learning. Now you told us that you can’t be yeshivish since you are gothic. I don’t know what you mean by that- the word gothic to me reminds me of types of architecture or literature, I never heard it used for a person/personality before. You really need to know who you are and where you are headed before you can date. If you are still in transition, which is very normal at your age (19-20?) you need to wait a bit so you don’t end up marrying someone who is good for you now but may be different from whom you will be in 6 months from now.
In terms of shadchanim, when you are ready, you need to turn to sources for the type of boys you want to meet- for example, if you want a serious yeshivish learning type in his low-mid twenties, you will not find him on dating websites. Figure out the type of yeshiva that fits what you are looking for, then find someone who knows guys at that yeshiva. Or you can ask married friends whose husbands might have friends that fit the bill. Or your parents’ friends who have children of dating age. Same applies for college guys, or any other type.
My shidduch advice: first figure out who you are, deal with any issues you have (like depression…), where you are standing hashkafically before you start dating. Like lilmod said therapy or a life coach can help, and seminary is a great place to grow/mature/find out who you are.
Sparkly-edited The more you write, the more I agree with others that you really should be working these issues out with a competent therapist, ASAP. Perhaps that would be the best tribute to your friend, and something positive to come out of this tragedy- to help yourself so that you can live a happy, productive life, I”YH.
“However,to imply a important Enactment for the Klal was due to personal tribulations is to cast aspersions on the whole Mesorah.”
Why? I understood it that his personal experience led to the realization that it was not beneficial for klal yisroel to continue this practice, not that it was a reaction to a personal problem.
Why would it be any different, say, for example, than a Rav who personally saw how exposure to the internet negatively affected his family, would not press for takanos against internet use?
In most cases, medicine heals people, or they die despite the medicine. There are rare cases of fatal side effects or drug interactions. Maybe the pharmacist can prevent/minimize these.
If you are referring to intentional overdose, you can’t blame the medicine or the pharmacist or the doctor. They are still there to help people. It is sad that the person who ODed could not be helped, that his pain was so great that he saw no other options. At this point, Sparkly, you need to try to remember that Hashem is in charge and that His plan for us is good, even if we don’t see it at the moment. Also, remember that you are studying to be a pharmacist to help people, to cure disease and alleviate pain and suffering. You may not have been able to help your friend, but you can help others in other ways. You have a purposeful life ahead of you. Try to keep that in mind, and it may reduce the sadness and loneliness you are feeling.
frumnot yeshivish- I don’t understand your reasoning. How can you separate halacha from hashgacha? All hashgacha agencies have a rav or rabbonim who decided the halachic standards of their supervisions. They have halachik expertise in the area of kashrus. The mashgichim are enforcing/gauranteeing these halachic standards.
I don’t know if you can use a Marcus Lehman story as historical proof, but according to his “Meor Hagola” story in the book “Five Novelettes”, his life was endangered by his disloyal second wife. The implication is that the cherem stemmed from his personal experience.
I believe it was meant to last 1000 years, and was only meant to obligate ashkenazim.