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Women light 2 candles, 1 for “shomur” and one for ‘zochur”. There is a custom to add a candle for each child born, the basis for this is that if a woman missed lighting candles (which she would have done when hospitalized, or in the olden days, confined post-birth) there is a penalty imposed that has to light one extra from then on. Now, even when the woman does not miss lighting post-birth, she still adds one for her new baby.
Single girls/women living in their parents’ house generally don’t light (with the exception of chabad where girls light one), unless they are on their own and there is no one else to light in the house. The mitzva is that the candles need to be lit in the home, preferably by the woman of the house, but if she is not there, anyone can and must light.
One point, if you have consistently lit a certain number, it may be considered a neder (vow) for which you would need hatara nedarim (annuling a vow) to change the number.
I assumed that only citizens get child allowances at all, but you are obviously smarter than everyone else, or at least me, and taught me something new.
I just checked the website- and it says that the savings plan are for any child who is entitled to a child allowance. If you are entitled to that then you get the savings plan too. According to the site, you get child allowance if you are a resident of Israel, or if you live in Israel as a salaried employee with a work visa for at least 6 months. If you move back, child allowance only continues for the first 3 months.
To pick up his money at age 18, he and his parents have to sign a withdrawal form. If it is after 21, only he has to sign. I don’t know if it has to be done in person. But keep in mind, if he only qualifies for a couple of years of payments because he leaves the country, the flight will cost much more than any money earned!
“When it comes to Hashkapha ,We have traditonally stayed away from Rambam”
Umm.. aren’t the Ani maamins and Yigdal based on Ramabam’s 13 Ikarim? I would call that Hashkafa.
Yes, the Rambam was controversial, especially in his own times, his works were even burned. But I wouldn’t say that we stay away from his Hashkafa altogether.
CT, if only all politicians followed that model. kol hakavod to CT. Maybe NY could learn from their neighbor?
ZD, I would say that your generalities are characteristics that apply to a majority, but not necessarily a definition. For example, the lvush- chasidim have very different lvush than litvish chareidim, and Israeli daati Leumi dress very differently than American Modern Orthodox, so I don’t think that the Lvush itself can be used as a definition, although for sure it is true that Lvush is different.
I might be repeating what came before, but here is my take:
Chareidi is a term used in Israel, where the categories were chiloni, daati leumi and chareidi. The differences between the groups were obvious. Chareidism wasn’t a movement, but applied to the old yishuv as well as other frum people who came to the country later on who did not identify with the tzioni/daati leumi society.
In America, at first there was just frum and not-frum. To be more precise, the frum could be divided generally into modern orthodox , chasidish, yeshivish (maybe also baale batish – for those families where the father was not learning long-term in yeshiva but did not fit the other categories). Growing up I never heard the word Chareidi. Now it has been imported from Israel and I think is used instead of yeshivish and chasidish.
I don’t think chareidism is a movement anymore than Orthodoxy is. Just a term that became necessary when other types emerged.
wow, utah, did you run for re-election the next year?
Nechomah, you are right, but as CTL says, sometimes there is no choice.
I remember once when I decided to try a different country for dating purposes for several weeks. I spoke to many shadchanim and anyone I knew in the area, checked out lots of possibilities and had one date for sure set up before I got there, and other possibles. By the time the first did not work out, I had others being set up. I actually got into trouble once- I went out with one guy and was sure he was not for me and said no to the shadchan. Then I went and called the next shadchan to set up the next one. After that was arranged, the first shadchan called me back to reconsider my no; basically she made me go out again against my better judgment. So here I was for the first time dating two guys at once! I felt horrible about it, but I figured that I was only going out again to please the shadchan, and would concentrate on the second guy. Turns out the second guy did not work out at all, and the next date with the first guy was better, and we ended up going out several more times before we decided no. So marathon dating can be problematic, but I can say that all’s well that ends well, because I went back home and eventually did meet my husband there.
I don’t think anything that anyone added about fruits vs vegetables contradicted the basic tenet of what I was trying to say, that Chazal has a separate definition of what is a fruit (pri haetz) and what is a vegetable (pri haadama) from botanists or cooks or the dictionary. By the way, what about the banana- it has seeds in it, grows on a tree-like plant high above the ground, would be considered a fruit by botanists and culinary experts, yet it is ha’adama because the tree is not permanent. My point is that we do not decide what bracha to make based on the botanists’ definition of fruit/vegetable.
By the way, LB, Blueberries and blackberries grow on high bushes that last from year to year and are Ha’etz, unlike strawberries.
Orla only applies to halachic trees.
AvramMD: “So pri seems to refer to the edible parts of plants.” or maybe pri just means “product of”, as in “pri bitna”.
Exactly, CT that was just what I was referring to, although Australia might not be a typical destination. Hatzlacha and all our brochos to her.
Abba_S- I know many shidduchim that happened (I mean couple got engaged) when someone went to a different country on vacation or for some specific purpose like a simcha, and they met their spouse when they were there. Others purposely took an extended vacation to some new destination for dating purposes (true, not everyone can do this, but there are many singles who work in the school system and have off summers, or people who can telecommute for a time). Still others who were “stuck”and decided “meshana makom meshane mazal”, did pick themselves up and move, finding a new job and new place to live, and many of those did B”H get married to someone they met in the new place.
Utah, were you able to keep those promises- the teachers actually gave less homework and longer recess?
LB: “It is important to note that true love also comes with respect and the voluntary ability or choice to give and receive. Giving to someone wouldn’t be enough if it comes with unhealthy behaviors and such.
I mention this because it can be confusing when someone both gives to and hurts someone a lot. It can look like love from the outside but inside it’s quite different.”
Yes, obviously you are correct. I wasn’t trying to suggest that giving was the only thing in a relationship, but that it is a first step to develop the emotional connection that is commonly called love. Of course there is a lot of follow-up, as you say. The common practice of trading presents may be part of this at some superficial level.
I would like to add something to AviK’s post. He is talking about whether we learn science/medicine from Chazal. When it comes to halacha, we follow chazal even if modern medicine contradicts it. A very simple example- the tomato is scientifically classified as a fruit, but we say a haadama on it. We don’t say C”V that chazal did not know enough science and got the whole system of classification wrong and therefore we should say ha’etz. Rather, we say that chazal follow their rules on how to classify vegetables and fruits, and it does not have to follow the scientific definition.
LU, different friend- mine doesn’t have any brothers. But probably a common enough conclusion.
Smarter- I assume you mean that the child is an Israeli citizen. I think on the website they said that payments are only made if the child lives in Israel. but I assume that anything already paid into the system remains there until withdrawal at 18 or 21.
By the way, payments start in Jan- but I think the notice said that we have until Jun 1 to decide on what plan to take (or was I confusing that with Jan 6?). If we don’t decide, the default is the investment options (for younger kids), picked randomly from among the choices. Once that track is picked it cannot be changed to a bank track. So my question is, if we don’t decide by Jan, where does the money go in the meantime until we decide? Even a temporary stay may cause both halachic and tax problems.
oh, LB, thanks, I’m blushing…
Didn’t mean you of course, CT, don’t get insulted please. Your motives are purely to contribute your talents to your community.
It was meant tongue in cheek, the way people make lawyer jokes or mother in law jokes. I don’t think any lawyer or mother in law really believes those jokes are about them.
I have also heard about the bank option and US taxes. The bank option is paying out interest (3 different tracks- fixed rate, variable rate, or fixed but linked to inflation, anyone know which is best?), same as any closed savings account. When you have an account in the bank there is a heter iska with the bank that takes care of the ribit issues. I don’t know if that is automatic here, but I assume you can always arrange one with the bank personally if it is not automatically set up thru bituach leumi.
One should realize that one does not pasken halacha (for example whether it is ok to lie) based on a story about a gadol’s behavior (for example, Rebbe lied to his mother that his brother was alive). every individual situation would require asking a shaila from a rav.
speaking of lying about one’s age for shidduchim, a friend was once told that since “everyone” assumes that people lie about their age, they will automatically add a few years to whatever age they are told, assuming that will be more accurate. So if you really are 29, and say 29, they will assume you are really 32. So it would not be lying to say you are 27, since then they will get the age right! A bit of a joke, of course.
Abba_s- people can go to a different country for an extended vacation, a chag, in between jobs or when recently graduated etc. While they are there, they can go out, and if it works out, then they have to figure out the long-term logistics.
It works both ways- basically if someone has been dating in one place for awhile, and has seemed to have run out of options, they will try a new place where there are new connections and new people to meet. That is true whether they live in Israel or outside of Israel.
Maybe you have only heard/read of those that go to Israel because it is more dramatic and inspiring.
I can see the potential confusion coming from this thread, and these are very important issues.
The Torah is meant to be literal, to the best of our understanding, unless there is a mesora stating otherwise. In other words, when the Torah mentions the Hand or Finger of G-d, etc., we know that is not literal since chazal tell us that Hashem has no form. when the Torah tells us to take “an eye for an eye” we know that is not literal because our Oral Torah tells us that it means the monetary value of the limb. But the stories are real, the people existed and are not symbolic, although obviously their lives and actions have an educational relevance for us and are not meant to only be historical figures. when we say “ma’aseh Avos siman l’bonim”, we mean that their actions are both a guide and foreshadowing for the children’s future experiences, but not that they themselves were merely symbolic. To rephrase the quote from R Miller above, there is a huge difference saying that Pharoah was a title referring to multiple actual kings (which comes from Chazal), much as we would use President or Czar or Caesar, and that Avrohom and Soro Chas v’shalom did not exist.
In terms of midrash, some are literal, some are not, one need to rely on talmudei chachamim to understand them and not pick and chose and decide on your own.
This is a not such a good example for the issue of how to understand chazal when their words purportedly contradict modern medicine/science, because what the woman’s Dr was saying about her case goes against basic medical knowledge as well. In this case there is no contradiction between Chazal and medicine, just what 1 doctor is reportedly saying about 1 particular exceptional case. But it is a very good answer to the issue, nevertheless.
“Do you know anyone who made Aliya and then moved back the US for a shidduch?”
Yes, it has been known to have happened.
By central you mean the Tel Aviv area? How about Holon, nothing especially spiritual there, but there are some interesting museums and parks, like the Egged bus museum, many of which are very kid oriented, but an adult can enjoy them too.
There is Hertziliya and the marina there, Caesaria and the ancient port and a lot of old archeology (Roman in origin, though), Rehovot, which has a museum dedicated to the war of independence and the Weizmann Institute, which has a visitor’s center, and science museum. The outdoor things might not be such a good idea in this weather though.
good middos of politicians
Many would say that is an oxymoron
Avram in MD, the sentiments in your post are beautiful. I think you summed up what true love is.
Anyone remember that song from Fiddler on the Roof “Do you love me?”
Mrs. Tevye gives a long list of things she has done for her husband for more than 20 years, and concludes, “if that’s not love, then what is?” There is a lot of truth to that- forming an emotional connection is all about giving to and concern about the other person. In fact, you don’t have to rely on Tevya and his wife- Lehavdil, Rav Dessler states that love comes from giving. So if a couple sees that they are at the point where they want to give to each other, and are prepared to do so, then they can be assured that the emotional connection will come.
If paternally you eat Kitniyot on Pesach, that means that your father is sefardi and that makes you sefardi. You should be praying all tefillos and brachot in that nusach- nusach edot hamizrach (as opposed to Nusach sefard, which is not really sefardi, but the version that Hasidim use). Many baalei Tshuva end up taking on the customs/minhagim of whomever they learned by and helped them become religious, but that is because they don’t know what their family’s minhagim are. If you are lucky enough to know, then it is amazing that you can follow your family’s customs and be another link in the family chain of tradition.
Lightbrite, you are on a journey, and there are a lot of confusing questions/issues that come up. It’s impossible to decide these issues based on feelings, no matter how righteous your heart it. There are probably many things you do not even realize are questions. Do you have a Rav/mentor/Rebbitzin that can guide you, answer your questions, and give advice on what you take on and how fast?
No LB, but we have to ban pot bellies and white beards (I don’t have to mention red suits, since that B”H never crept into our customs).
Simcha613- I believe it is actually the opposite, sefardi shechita has more chumros than ashkenazi, but Ashkenazim don’t actually realize it. But again, not all sefardi heshsherim are equal, and there are some sefardim who won’t eat certain sefardi hechsherim.
There are two things one needs to know about a hechsher- a. the chumros/standards it follows, which is why certain kehillos will use a particular hechsher, while another equally frum kehilla will only use another one. and b. the reliability of that hechsher to ensure that its standards are being carried out on the scene.
It’s hard to answer your question if we don’t know what you already did.
Wandering various neighborhoods in Yerushalayim is always nice- the Old City, Nachlaot, the shuk, Yemin Moshe, etc.
Or take a hike in one of the country’s many nature reserves.
If you want to warm up, hop on a bus and go south to the Dead Sea or Ein Gedi.
lesschumras, Why are frum sefardim not included among the default chareidim? They adhere to halacha, respected talmeidi chachimim and Torah learning. I don’t think anyone here is defining chareidim or chareidi lifestyle as a mode of dress or type of accent one uses during davening or a style of learning.
Does anybody know the Rambam that I referred to above that discusses Moshiach’s sons? Perhaps a direct quote will clarify some of the confusion on this issue.
Without going into specifics of any particular hashgacha (I agree with LU)
There are differences among Sefardi and Ashkenazi psak halacha when it comes to Kashrus- one well known example is that sefardim do not rely on the leniency that having a Jew light the fire takes away the problem of bishul akum. Other issues apply to Shechita. Because of this, it is more common that an Ashkenazi can rely on a Sefardi Hechsher than vice versa. But, many ashkenazi hechsherim have taken on extra chumros and their shechita too is according to the Beis Yosef (meaning R’Yosef Karo, not the hechsher of the same name), so that Sefardim can rely on them.
That said, there are hechsherim that are considered more reliable and hechsherim that are considered less reliable, so that among both Sefardi and Ashkenazi hechsherim there will be those that everyone “holds by” and those that some people will avoid.
“Meno & Bluhbluh +1. That is why we have Rabbanim and we are supposed to ask sheilos to Rabbanim and not posken from books/sefarim..”
..or the CR.
yes but my sugar cookie recipe comes from my Bubby, who got it from her mother…while my chocolate chip cookie recipe comes off of the Nestle chocolate chip bag.
I was just trying to remember what kind of animals were in the package, other than the animals that we usually eat. I guess giraffe was a bad example.
LB- about school choice. From your post, I don’t think you understand the chareidi yeshiva system in Israel.
I am talking about sefardim trying to get into ashkenazi Yeshivos anad chadarim. This is not one or two individuals with extenuating circumstances (such as special needs, handicap accessibility, remedial education etc), but a widespread phenomenon. To the point where the sefardi leaders send there kids to these yeshivos (and have no problem getting in).
Most of the factors that you mentioned do not apply to the chareidi cheder and yeshiva system (boys only, minimal or no secular subjects, expected to stay within the yeshiva system, no internet use policies), so they are not a part of the consideration of where to send the kid. I am talking about when there are decent sefardi yeshiva options within the neighborhood, and still they prefer the ashkenazi schools. Tuition is minimal in all chadarim compared to the US, should be similar whether sefardi or ashkenazi, similar schedules/hours and will have similar hashkafos except for the obvious difference that one will stress sefardi halacha/minhagim/style of learning and davening and the other ashkenazi. Factors that will differ from cheder to cheder would be quality of educators, discipline policies, facilities, but again being sefardi or ashkenazi should not affect these factors. So it boils down to parental bias, community bias and who they want their kid to marry.
LB, to break up your conversation with yourself, here’s some terminology:
In general, when someone says Chareidi, they include both Litvish Yeshivish and Chasidish, and of course Sefardim can also be chareidi.
Litvak means someone coming from Lithuania, Litvish is the adjective. It is used to refer to someone who is not chasidish, even if he doesn’t hail from Lithuania. When chasidus started, mainstream Judaism was very much opposed to the movement, and those who fought against the early Chasidim were called Misnagdim (opposers). But now since chasidus in its current form has been accepted as a halachically valid approach to Torah, the term misnagdim no longer has any meaning, so non-chasidim are called litvaks. The Litvish approach is different from the chasidic one in many ways- too long to go into now.
Chasidus was prominent in Eastern Europe- Poland, Galicia, Russia, Hungary but not where Sefardim lived (Mediterranean, Mid-Eastern, North African countries)- so historically sefardim are not chasidim. Those who are (e.g. there are a lot of Sefardi Breslover Na-Nachs) have adopted a culture and minhagim that are not originally their own. Litvish Sefardim is a contradiction in terms, since they both refer to geographic areas. Sefardim can be chareidi, yeshivish, modern, traditional (mesorati) or anything else.
Easy solution- you install a timer, and set it to go on a bit before you normally take a shower. In the winter, when you cannot rely on the solar boiler for hot water during the day, you can set it to go for 1/2h stretches every few hours so that you always have hot water.
There are also instant hot water mini-boilers that can be connected to faucets so you don’t have to wait.
For the good or the bad, the gashmius aspect of living in E”Y has changed drastically over the past decade or 2, there is a lot less “sacrifice” to make aliya than there used to be.
I vaguely remember learning a Rambam that discusses the role of Moshiach’s children. From that, I gather he is married with kids. Anyone know better what I am referring to?
Correct answers must have exclamation points, of course, for emphasis.
LB: Do all the people answering the phone on emergency calls understand English?
In my Israeli experiences, I panic and call out for help in English. Hebrew takes too long to formulate in distress.
I wonder what happens when people need all three? Who do you call then?
B”H I have not had reason to call the emergency numbers, but I know what you mean about forgetting how to speak Hebrew when under a lot of stress. I imagine at least someone at the call center has a certain level of proficiency in the common languages spoken for those who do not know Hebrew – like Russian, Arabic, English.
It is a good question about whether you have to call all 3. If you call an ambulance for a traffic accident, do they automatically call the police to come too, or vice versa? Anybody know?
I don’t have peyos, but the men/boys in my family do. Just sideburns, no curls and not wrapped behind their ears.
Yes, LB, the type of peyos has to do with what community the boy/man belongs to. Halachically, it is assur to cut the corners, ie sideburns of a certain length. But how long, leaving more hair and curling it, before ear, behind ear, etc is minhag.
Froggie, how can you be in two places at the same time?
Yes, LB, the kosel is open 24/7. And there are probably people there at all times. For a real moving experience, I suggest you go at chatzos- halachic midnight and catch a Nishmas minyan.
Unlike in the US where every emergency is consolidated thru 911, there are 3 separate numbers for police (100), fire (102) and ambulance MDA (101) in Israel. For a medical emergency, you want to call an ambulance, MDA or for a quicker first responder, Ichud Hatzala (1221). A good hint to remember the MDA number- raise your hands next to your head for help. each arm is like a 1 and the head in the middle is the 0.
dictionary.com: Diabolic
“having the qualities of a devil; devilish; fiendish; outrageously wicked”
origin of devil:
person1- thanks for the vote of confidence.
They get wet. And every so often, a cleaner comes around and sweeps them all up. But I believe they are disposed of in a respectful way- I think they are buried.
LB, I have heard that chabad is very makpid about not having non-kosher animals around- not even in picture books or as toys. So instead of teddy bears, the kids will have stuffed lambs or cows. I don’t know if they eat animal cookies. You don’t find that among other types of frum Jews, although many will not have an impure animal as a pet. I don’t think anyone (other than maybe Chabad?) has an issue with animal crackers, no matter what age the child. My kids do not confuse eating a lion cookie with the real thing.