WinnieThePooh

Most yeshivos don’t have off on chanuka, maybe just erev shabbos or Sunday.

Not all girls schools are off on Sun. In E”Y, Sunday is a regular school day – and work day- for everyone.
There are girls schools in the US that have some classes on Sun as well.
For those that don’t:
On Sundays, boys do not learn secular studies, AFAIK. As others have said here, girls chiyuv for learning Torah is not equivalent to boys, and they have a different curriculum and do not need the Sun hours. I don’t think they davka give off Sun so they can study and do homework, although I think they do have more homework. assignments, projects etc than the boys, and I remember using many a Sunday to do mine (Having off erev shabbos afternoon and shabbos was not for that purpose). But if the default in the US is to close school on Sunday, then there has to be a good reason to open it – which is there for the boys – limud Torah, but not necessarily for the girls. Also keep in mind, that the girls’ teachers are women, often mothers with young families, who really need that day off. In E”Y every teacher works only 5 days a week, and gets a day off some other day during the week instead.

TalmidChochom, where did AviK compare himself to Rav Chaim Brisker in his post? How was he mevazeh chochamim? What he did was melamed zchus on those who daven quickly by saying that for some, it increases their kavana, and backed it up with a source from a noted talmid chochom. Aren’t we supposed to learn from the hanhagos of the gedolim and try to emulate them?

Neville, I also have always thought that having a hechsher for shatnez on clothing would be great, and the situation we have now is like it used to be years ago with food when people just read the package labels and ate it if they did not see any obvious non-kosher ingredient.
I think though that it’s because every piece of clothing can be different, if they run out of material, they can use any scrap so one jacket by manufacturer A would be ok, and another not. It’s less uniform than food. You would need a mashgiach in the clothing factory to check all the materials present and make sure the wrong combination is not used on the entire product line. You would also have a hard time convincing clothing designers to pay for supervision- the frum clientele is too small to make it worth it, while kashrus has a wide appeal even among the non-frum since people assume it means better quality.

Some people are not very good at figuring out who might go with whom, I take it whitecar, while meaning well, fits into that category.
question- how do you know if people are trying to help their single friends or not- you wouldn’t know about every suggestion or date that goes nowhere.
Practical suggestion- throw a shidduch party. Get together with other marrieds and everyone must present an eligible girl and boy, usually without mentioning names. Then people can brainstorm and try to come up with ideas of people they know who might fit with those that others present.

If you unscrew it, you may not need to toivel it at all- although we’ve never done it (we do it the way Nechomah described) I heard that if a Jew takes apart an appliance and re-assembles it, it is as if he made it and no longer requires tevila. Heard this from a handy layman, not a Rav, so not sure if this is halachically acceptable, and it probably voids the warranty.
A water mini-bar with hot and cold water is a great solution too.
I grew up with the whistling type of stove-top kettle. Also great for shabbos, esp shabbos following yom tov, can be left on the blech without needing a special shabbos urn.

He’s upset because his wife showed up at borchu but the toddler at korbonos.

Not necessarily, knaidlach, you only get what the friends, teachers, neighbors perceive to be that person’s or his/her family’s values and hashkafa, which may not reflect what the person actually feels and chooses not to share. It’s always a good idea to talk about these important things directly, and not just rely on what others think (e.g. does he really want to learn full time, long-term, or is that just what his rosh yeshiva wants for him? She looks tznius in public, but maybe she actually struggles with conforming to tznius standards, and will find it hard when society is not looking and judging her? He wants to grow/take on more halacha/learn more than he has until now, and more than is the norm in his current circles/enviornment, etc.)
If these are important topics to you, they will come up naturally in the course of the conversation (you may express how you feel about learning, then gauge her reaction, comments; you can talk about the way your Rebbe is mechanech his kids, and ask what she feels about it, discuss how you are bothered by, or passionate, about x or y or z, and see if she feels the same. Don’t turn it into a checklist or interrogation.

“Sorry, that’s just not a good reason to ignore the disparity, or tell people that they they’re demonizing women, they’re in denial about other issues, or that there isn’t a shidduch crisis, etc.”

The explanation for the above is that there will always be some people who will respond with aggressiveness and cynicism and argue for the sake of arguing. It has more to do with personality than the topic at hand, so I would just ignore those type of people and focus on what is important.

The age gap theory makes sense number wise, but it is not the only contributing factor, and sometimes it feels that those promoting it are ignoring other issues that also need addressing- and these are not side issues. So people who are not going for the age gap theory are not in denial that there is a shidduch cirsis, or however you want to define it, they are just being more open to other valid explanations. If every single boy was married and only girls were left, then the age gap would explain it all.
But…
The fact is that there are plenty of older boys not married as well. The age gap does not address this fact.
The fact is that older singles do get married (not all, but a lot) but not until their 30s perhaps, meanwhile suffering for years, and losing out on a family they could have had. The age gap does not address this fact.
When I started dating nearly 3 decades ago, the boys also had lists of girls that outnumbered the boys 10:1, there were unmarried older singles, and this was before the population explosion.

Why does it take so long for some people to find each other? As ubiquitin stated, what part of the process is going wrong? Is the problem in the networking, getting the right names? The actual dating process? The attitude to dating/marriage? For different people, there will be different answers. We need to figure out what goes wrong and how to solve it- better preparation, dating coaching, helping youngsters figure out who they are and what they really need in a spouse before they start dating, improved networking- especially for OOTers and those who wouldn’t be getting redt shidduchim otherwise, maybe making use of databases.

The good thing about all this discussion, is that it shows that people care and that singles should not feel ostracized or alone.

“And from personal observation (others here are welcome to share their own) I’ve noticed that among unmarried older girls, there’s a much larger representation among them of girls who pursued a higher education and/or are in high earning fields than among the women who got married (younger). ”
Cause and effect?
The older singles are single because they are in high earning fields/have advanced degrees or they are in high earning fields/have advanced degrees because they are single?
Perhaps the unmarried older girls, rather than just sitting at home waiting to get married, being depressed about not being able to fill their tafkid in life, bored with not much to do, instead tried to do something productive with the time that they did not expect or plan to have and pursued higher education and entered high earning fields, while the girls who B”H did get married young were busy with their families and by default could not do those things.

are you hosting them for shabbos or checking them out as potential shidduch candidates?
Be aware that depending on who else is at the table, seminary girls may feel awkward sitting at the table with the husband in between courses when the wife goes to serve, so they will all get up to help.
If there are a lot of them, they will talk among themselves and spare you having to engage them at the table. But if you are looking for topics of conversation, then you can ask them about the learning style in their school, subjects they learn, chesed projects, trips etc.
As is true for any guest you may be hosting, it is reasonable to check what kashrus standards they prefer, if there are any accommodations needed for allergies or food preferences, and to try to fill their requests.

I have always wondered about this- maybe someone in the CR knows: why is a (theoretical) cleaner who comes to my house once a week for 3-4h considered my employee while a plumber or handyman who comes to work in my home is an independent worker who offers a service and charges a fee? If it is the fact that one is regular and one only once in a while, then what about those who have someone like a personal trainer or massage therapist who make home visits and come on a regular basis? Why can companies have employees work on 1099s or as contract workers by the hour to avoid paying benefits, but a householder can’t do that for a cleaner?

It sounds like you need something real simple.
Just spread your favorite BBQ sauce on top, roast at 350F covered 1h, uncovered for 30 min or until browned and crispy.
Another easy one is to place chicken pieces in pan, place sliced onion rounds and diced garlic on top of chicken, and then sprinkle on generous amounts of paprika and curry powder. roast as above.

Eli, I can’t talk for Chabad and their policies, but I think you are missing the point. It’s not about knowing Hebrew- it’s about learning Torah. You can’t separate the Mitzvos from Torah, and Torah cannot be learned in translation- translations are good for a start, and as an aid, but are not a replacement for learning Torah as it was given in Loshon Hakodesh. Each morning we say in davening “eleh devarim” where we discuss various mitzvos and their rewards, and the conclusion is “talmud torah k’neged kulam”, learning Torah is equivalent to all of them. I’m wondering why you are so angry at the chidon for discouraging your son from learning, but not at his school for not giving him the proper tools to do so.
By the way, it’s ok for a 12 year old to not want to learn extra in his free time. But he should be developing the skill set so he can do so when he wants to as he matures.

I would like to repeat the gist of a conversation I overheard at work- a place filled with university educated people who tend to lean to the left politically and have very little to do with religion. One mentioned a talk she went to where the speaker said that if you want to know whether a person was a leftist or a rightist, ask them if they define themselves as Israeli or as Jewish first. The rightist answer Jewish. It is telling that the right has dominated to government in the recent past. A Dati Leumi (RZ) women then gave her opinion that the leftist don’t think of themselves as Jewish at all. The others sitting around the table- all secular, Chilonim. strongly disagreed and resented that conclusion. They said that although they would identify as Israeli first, they are proud to be Jewish as well.
To me (who remained quiet during this conversation) that was very encouraging- even those who seem the furthest from their heritage still want to be Jewish and have that connection. I think this is the attitude that MrSL613 is referring to.

” Certainly the understanding of Scripture is more profound if learned in Hebrew but it is far greater than nothing to understand what you can in English.”

True, but unless you are dealing with a learning disability, this should not be an acceptable standard for a student – and it seems many of his classmates- who are attending a yeshiva and should be taught how to learn inside in Loshon Hakodesh, whether their parents can help them at home or not. The chidon may be a fun way to encourage kids to learn, but it is not a goal in itself- being able to learn Torah is the goal.

I would like to point out that it was Mr. Sarah Levine commenting- a he not a she (there was a post on another thread that explained how he opened his own account so as not to hijack his wife’s account)
Also, there are several posters here who do live in E”Y and are posting from their various perspectives.
Carry on now…

This thread is way too controversial. The mods should close it before it gets to page 23- if they don’t forget.

For many Frum Jews, how someone relates to Israel and treats its people is very important, and is a barometer of how he relates to Jews in general. We know your attitude about Israel, Joseph, but most frum Jews outside of Satmar put Israel policy high on the list when judging politicians.
But I do agree with you about regretting voting for Clinton. And I didn’t like his approach to Oslo either.

Mishpacha magazine had a feature article on the community of Guatemalan Geirim who have helped former Lev Tahor members who have been expelled. According to the article, as I remember it, they were interested in Judaism and when the Lev Tahor people dropped into their backyard, they were excited by the opportunity. They learned from and were misgayer by Lev Tahor, but soon after they realized what was going on there and left or were expelled en masse. But as their interest in being Jewish was real, they went through a second proper giyur by a mainstream US beis din. So if you are referring to these geirim, the answer is yes. Your question as to the validity of a giyur done by a Lev Tahor beis din still holds though, especially since the group had to undergo a second geirus.

Haimy- while I am a big believer in conducting our lives and actions with tznius- not just as a dress code- and doubt that these public and sometimes over-the-top menorah displays fill the mitzva of pirsumei nissa, to what extent does your recommendation of performing the mitzvos out of site of our sonim go? Should we not wear our tzitzis out, yarmulkes in the work place, walk to shul in shtreimels, gather a minyan at the rest stop along the highway? There were times in America that few would do these things in public. Should we hide our mitzvos as the Marranos did? What is the balance between doing the mitzvos proudly and not flaunting our lifestyles?
There will be antisemitism no matter what- as history teaches us, those who don’t look particularly Jewish have not escaped being persecuted as Jews.

APY, et al
The challenges we face face today are in essence an outcome of our successes.
When the frum community was small, it didn’t matter so much what your background was, it just mattered that you were frum. That was an improvement over the previous generation- my grandparents’- when there were so few frum people that it was no so uncommon for a frum person to marry a non-frum person.
Now that there are so many of us, just being frum isn’t enough- the pool of potential matches has to be narrowed to be effective, so people create the differences and nuances in types, schools etc.
Although there were good things about the olden days, we cannot reverse the clock, and we have to deal with the reality today, as nice as nostalgia is. (Also, don’t fool yourselves that there was no discrimination in shidduchim back then- I don’t think you would often see a Hungarian-Polish intermarriage, for example; there were factors back then that did matter that we would not consider important criteria today.)

Another thing, considering how many we are today, how mobile and inter-connected, a problem that affects even a small percent of our society translates into a large number of people, a critical mass that becomes very visible, hence a “crisis”. So even if the same percent of our community is not getting married as 40-50 years ago or 100 years ago (I don’t know if this is true- does anyone have data comparing today to back then?) it’s a lot more individuals.

Are you serious Laskern, you never heard of a latke until recently joining the CR?
What did your wife A”H make?

Laskern and ZionGate: Fried raw potatoes are latkes, fried cooked potatoes are kremzlach. Or at least according to my Hungarian-Czechoslovakian heritage.
RebYidd, you must have missed my vote above.