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One more thing to add to LB’s comments. There is a concept that Hashem “looked into the Torah and created the world”. If there is a particular issur against a relationship in the Torah, then the world/nature does not contradict that since the Torah came first. To question how can the Torah or Rabbis say something is forbidden when it goes against human nature and tendencies, and Hashem could not possible have meant that, is looking at things from the wrong perspective. Hashem made a mitzva/assur, and created the world accordingly, which means that human nature can and is supposed to try to achieve that ideal, even if it is challenging for a particular individual.
I can appreciate LB, from reading your posts here and on other threads, that it is far easier for a ba’al teshuva to stop eating non-kosher, keep shabbos, etc. than to change a mindset and feel comfortable with Torah-true hashkafa. Kol Hakavod on your efforts to understand.
It’s not clear why you don’t want your parents involved. They don’t want you dating yet and you do?
It’s quite normal (non chasidish circles) to start dating at 21-22, even 23 for a boy. Considering that, I would not consider mid-twenties for a guy to be an older single. Not when there are so many guys in their 30s and older still single.
Menachem
Shilo
Yinon
Chanina
Sorry, only came up with 4.
Concepts about the Neshama are way beyond my undestanding, but there is one point I would like to make- halacha has always said that a girl is obligated to do mitzvos (ie become a Bas Mitzva) at 12, just as a boy becomes a Bar mitzva on his 13th birthday. That is not a “relatively new thing.” The party, whether for a boy or girl, is just to show that we are happy about that and value the new status, and how we celebrate it changes with the time/place/community.
Glad we agree, LB, it’s been fun philosophizing with you.
Why do you think that chabad has an exclusive on shabbos and Judaism?
I think every frum home has a Jewish calendar with shabbos lighting times and other halachic times that are important for davening, determining ends of fast days, sunset, etc. Many organizations send these out, especially if you donate to them, but you can also buy them in Jewish stores at the beginning of the year. Candle lighting times can be found in these calendars, or in Jewish magazines/ newspapers, or in shul bulletins.
If I need to convert a date, I use whatever site comes up first on google.
I can see how text alerts about candle lighting time can help you plan your erev shabbos earlier in the day, but I don’t see how they will help much close to shabbos or for determining when shabbos is out, when presumably people have turned off their phones. I personally would not remember (or trust my memory if I thought I did) the time shabbos was out if I had seen it the day before on an app. As it is I check the calendar about 3 times as shabbos ends until I remember it correctly!
LB you are 100% right about the beauty of the world and how we have to appreciate it. The Ramabam you quoted is one that I have always thought a lot about and it holds very true for me. But when Hashem made the world, He made it for Mankind, particularly for Yisroel who would keep the Torah. We are not merely the top of the food chain. Adam is told “be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and rule over it”. As rulers, we have a responsibility to the earth but we can use the earth’s resources for our own benefit.
Hashem gave the beaver sharp teeth so that he could chop down trees to build his home. Hashem gave humans a brain and the creative ability to make tools and materials so he can build his home. When the beaver builds his dam, he is not thinking about biodiversity, but how he needs a nice home for his beaver family. When we build our cities, we are thinking about how they will benefit humankind. Unlike the beaver, we can think about the consequences of our actions, and can come up with solutions to remedy them. But we cannot lose site of the fact that Hashem did not create the world and then abandon it to its own devices. Without His constant hashgacha the world would not be. So it is presumptuous of us puny humans to think that our physical actions are what is preserving this world.
Other than Torah learning, of course, as we are told that the whole creation was in suspension until “yom Hashishi”, the sixth day of Sivan when the Torah was given. And as the mishne in Avos says, the world stands on 3 things: torah, avoda (service, tefilla) and gemilus chasadim (righteous deeds).
So as a growing Jew who cares about the world he/she lives in, the best way to preserve it is thru learning Torah and doing G-d’s will.
I am not an economist, but I assume that there are grain reserves so that prices don’t plummet when the supply goes up. If prices dropped too much, farmers would fail and we would all lose out since our food supply would be threatened. I think that the failed communist experiment has proven that without a profit motivator, people do not produce.
And by the way, when Yosef stored the grain for Pharaoh, he did not give it away to the hungry during the years of famine. They had to pay for it, and when they ran out of money, they traded their cattle and land, and then finally when nothing was left, they sold their own selves to Pharaoh, who then had to feed them since they were his property.
Zahavasdad- I am not disagreeing with what you say and I think we do have an obligation to take care of our world. the question is to what extent and from what perspective. Hashem still runs this world, not us, and He gave us permission to rule over it and use it for our benefit. We might mess up, but Hashem sustains this world and can figure out how to keep it going even without our help.
A side point that I never understood- why is it that when a beaver family moves into a new river and builds a dam, thereby flooding the area and creating a new habitat, it is considered an amazing thing, even though the previous habitat was destroyed in the process, but when humans come in and clear land to build a new habitat (a new city) environmentalists consider it destructive?
pretzel chicken
I assume there would be a difference between a shul opened and owned by the rav (i.e. shtieble style), and one where the shul board hires the rav and pays him a salary?
Frum Jews in Switzerland import their meat from other European countries. It’s not all that far away (a lot closer than Israelis importing their meat from S America), but obviously more expensive. I don’t think the anti-shechita ban promoted frum Jewish immigration from Switzerland. More problematic will be when they ban bris mila.
LB, how did the Chabad Rabbi explain how environmentalism is connected to the 7 mitzvos bnei noach? The prohibition of ever min hachai (eating an animal alive)? – that isn’t exactly promoting environmentalism. Perhaps he was trying to make his words relevant to a secular audience by focusing on things that he knew was important to them?
One more thing about environmentalism, animal rights activism, etc. When viewpoints and morality are not based on Torah Hashkafa, they are easily warped. So you see that animal rights extremists are so worried about an animal being abused that they will commit violence against people. Or how about EPA rules that destroy people’s livelihoods and homes in order to protect some bird’s habitat. Things need to come from a Torah perspective, and what we do (e.g. dispose of our waste in a proper manner so as not to make our living space impure) or don’t do (e.g. chop down fruit trees) is based on halacha, not on what makes us feel good.
“Are you trying to say that if they care about tznius, they can’t be animals?
Or are you trying to say that if are animals, they can’t care about tznius?”
This reminds me, “had the torah not been given, we would have learned tznius from the cat” (Eruvin)
Catch yourself, why are you quoting me without permission?
enabler
request
“Well all can say this, for b’nei Yisrael is not only the children of Yaakov but also known as the children of Yosef. “
Really, where is this known?
Yosef’s descendants are lost among the 10 tribes exiled by Sanherev prior to the destruction of the first Temple.
LB, here is my take on these issues: we have mitzvot against wasting our resources, not being cruel to animals. We also have concepts that we should appreciate the greatness of Creation, as well as the things that he provides for us. Yet, we also know that there is a Creator who is constantly recreating His world and taking care of it. So while we should not destroy the world on purpose, it is not our job to make sure that the world does not self-destruct. that was the mistake/sin of the generation of Haflaga (dispersal). they were afraid that every so often, some catastrophic event comes along to destroy the world. So they gathered together to build this fortress to protect the world. Chazal tell us that they were rebelling/fighting against G-d when they did this. They took G-d out of the picture totally, recognizing only their own powers. I think this is why frum people don’t make a big deal about environmental causes. G-d can take care of his Creations.
LB- this is the first time I ever heard about the number 98 being significant, and I have been frum for more than 4 decades.
Numbers can have symbolic meaning and significance, but halacha does not follow superstition. Don’t worry about buying something that ends in .98 or living on the 98th floor or having 98 people at a party or being friends with someone born in the 1980s or 1998.
“He took the Achrayus, now it is his Yeshiva. “
So GAW, according to you, that means that he gets to decide now what masechta they are learning each zman, which talmidim get accepted, who gets to head a new chabura, who should give shiur or be mashgiach, is responsible for the spiritual growth of 6000 talmidim and after 120, his son(s) replace the current Roshei Yeshiva?
If the answer to the all of the above is yes, then he is Rosh Yeshiva. If not, he is CEO.
By the way, I should have clarified that my sleeping friend added a candle after asking a shaila. So clearly not a case of oines, as people here explained.
LU- I know someone who fell asleep late Fri afternoon for a short nap and woke up after shekia, having never lit candles. She added one candle after that.
Health, I thought by now my point was obvious and I didn’t need to post the same thing so many times, but I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I’ll sum it up in 2 words, kavod Hatorah.
Geordie – I have a question for you. If the Rosh Yeshiva decides that his responsibility for the financial support of the yeshiva is best met by hiring a professional administrator who can do a better job than him in raising and handling the money, does that mean that he is relinquishing his title of Rosh yeshiva to his employee? I think that is what is being implied on this thread about BMG.
GAW (and now Health, since you have joined the discussion) my issue is not who owns or runs the Yeshiva, but who gets the kovod of being the Rosh Yeshiva- the one who actually teaches Torah. Ner Yisroel is a better example for what you are arguing since R’ Neuberger actually founded the Yeshiva together with Rav Ruderman in the first place and was instrumental in running it. Yet despite the fact that Ner Yisroel would not exist without him, R’ Neuberger never referred to himself as the Rosh Yeshiva or considered himself a gadol hador, but rather its President, a position filled by his son today. When it comes to BMG and its CEO, al achas kama v’kama, since R’ Aharon Kotler (the second) was only brought in later, did not found the Yeshiva, and started working for the yeshiva more than a decade after the current roshei yeshivas were appointed.
No GAW, that is not what I am saying. Yu is a university with a head who runs it, as in any university. one part of it is a yeshiva with rosh yeshiva who has no say over the other schools.
BMG is a yeshiva, and like many yeshivas, its reins are passed down to the most qualified within the family. It currently has 4 Roshei Yeshiva and 1 CEO. And even though the money is obviously important and the yeshiva could not survive and spread Torah without it, the priority of any Yeshiva is its Torah learning, and therefore the most kavod is given to the ones who teach it, ie the Roshei Yeshiva. And that should be true no matter who is “calling the shots”, for example, when it comes to building a mall. Suggesting otherwise is denigrating to Torah and its teachers.
Do you know the song we sing at the end of the seder- Echud Mi Yodea (Who knows one)?
here is a popular kids’ version/translation of the original (Uncle Moishy I think?)
“Who knows 4? I know 4? 4 are the mothers and 3 are the fathers and 2 are the luchos that Moshe brought..and One is Hashem, one is Hashem, one is Hashemmmm… in the Heavens and the Earth…ooh, ah, ooh ooh ah…”
LB, you’re welcome. and not just that it has value, but should be encouraged.
Yosef is not one of the patriarchs, Avos. There are only 3- Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov.
It is actually interesting, because despite Yaakov’s preference of Yosef over his brothers, and giving him the firstborn’s right to a double portion (his tribe being split into 2 and getting 2 portions in the Land of Israel), aftwerwards, other shevatim become more prominent- for example, Levi as the leaders in Egypt after the passing of Yaakov’s 12 sons, culminating of course in Moshe and Aron, and kehuna. And then Yehuda, the tribe of royalty, and of course, Mashiach. They are represented in the ushpizin too- as Moshe, Aron and Dovid.
GAW: “Besides, in all honesty, what are the chances that any one of the titular Roshei Yeshiva would be a “Rosh Yeshiva” in Lakewood had they not been a grandson or grandson in law? Halacha says they get the title, but nothing else.”
The yeshiva belongs to the Kotler family, obviously a relative would be named Rosh Yeshiva. And would R’ Aron Kotler have been chosen as CEO had he not been a grandson?
“I’ll take Rav Shach over an anonymous internet person any day.”
This is not just an anonymous internet person deciding who is R”Y. It seems everyone but you refers to R’ Aron as the CEO, and R’ Malkiel, R Shustal, R’ Olshin and R’ Neumann (sorry about the original mistake, I meant to write R’ Neumann all long, I don’t know how it came out wrong…) as the Roshei Yeshiva.
I don’t know the psak that you are referring to, but based on what you wrote, it would not apply to R’ Aron Kotler (the second), since he did not create the yeshiva. And if only one condition applies, based on what you wrote, that would mean that the fundraiser is automatically the Rosh Yeshiva in any yeshiva.
Traditioanlly, the one who opens the yeshiva is the Rosh Yeshiva and is responsible for raising the funds. But, and especially as the yeshiva grows, this can become an impossible task and is often delegated to a fundraiser. Does that mean he relinquishes his position as R”Y when he does this?
The Richard Joel comparison is not so precise- he is the president of Yeshiva University, which puts him in charge of RIETS and every undergrad and grad program in YU. RIETS is the yeshiva division of the university, and has its own Roshei Yeshiva. And by the way, Joel is actually stepping down, to be replaced by R’ Ari Berman.
And this one thru mine…
Od Yosef Chai, V’hu melech b’mitzraim
Yesh lo 2 yeladim, Menashe V’Efraim
Meno- not a joke at all. we had a package exactly like that recently. For the first bag in the pack, I just thought that it was over-stuffed and something made a hole. But then I tried to rebag it in another and another. It was so much fun watching my garbage end up all over the clean floor.
We like to go to Osher Ad and buy the Kirkland (!!) brand. Maybe more expensive, but you end up saving money by not having to double-bag when the first starts to leak. And you can fit much more garbage in compared to those that you have to first knot on one end to keep the garbage inside.
And for a long time, Q-tips were one of those items I took back on visits to the US. But those were in the days of 2x70lb suitcases.
“amateurs setting up this nice person with that nice person who both seem to and say that they want the same thing, and seem to be a good match in theory.”
many shidduchim have been made exactly the way you described, LB
When I dated, I always preferred the suggestions that came from people who knew me than from a professional shadchan, who often had some preconceived notion of whom I should marry without knowing me or even meeting me.
No matter where the suggestion comes from, it should be checked out personally.
If the shadchan feels that they are not competent to do more than suggest a name, and they can’t handle the follow-thru/advice that is needed, then a third party can be enlisted -say a dating couch or other mentor who can be the one to talk to each side, and help the relationship progress as necessary.
But I would not personally set up some anonymous person online knowing nothing about him.
GAW: “You haven’t said anything new. The Golden Rule states he who has the Gold makes the Rules. Although some grandchildren/in-law ended up with the title rosh yeshiva, only one person runs the yeshiva. Hence the head of the Yeshiva is HaRav HaGaon Aaron Kotler Shilitah, whether he gives a shiur or not.”
This is quite cynical, and frankly I feel it is denigrating to the actual roshei yeshiva of Lakewood. Those “grandchildren/in-law who ended up with the title rosh yeshiva” got those titles years before R’ Aharon joined the administration to bail the yeshiva out of its financial crisis. And giving inappropriate accolades to the one who runs the business without even bothering to mention the Roshei Yeshiva by name is even more insulting to Kovod haTorah. For the record, and to rectify this insult, the Rosh Yeshiva of Lakewood are R’ Malkiel Kotler, son of the previous R”Y, Rav Shneur; and R’ Dovid Shustal, R’ Yerucham Olshin and R’ Yisroel Friedman, all married to granddaughters of R Aharon. I have purposely left off the fancy titles since they are bandied about too often these days and say nothing about whether a person is a talmid chochom/gadol.
“The annual number of candles for baal teshuvahs could be in the thousands. “
Not if she missed because she didn’t know at that point, it would be considered annus, I believe, as iacisrmma pointed out, meaning it was not her fault that she missed all those weeks.
In any case, even if someone missed due to her own negligence, considering she would be obligated in 2 candlesx52 weeks/year, the annual number would only be 104, not in the thousands.
Lightbrite, there are 2 separate issues- one is going to the police to report someone who may be dangerous, and the other, which is the topic of conversation here, is whether one can sit on the jury hearing this guy’s case. In the former, if the victim does not report him, or press charges, he may very well get away with harming more people. In the latter, the case will go on whether or not the frum Jew sits on the jury.
It might help to think about their titles and their real Hebrew names:
Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov are called “Avinu”, our father, as in Avraham Avinu, since they are the 3 forefathers. It is their names that we say in davening “G-d of our fathers, Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov.”
Yosef is called Yosef Hatzaddik, the righteous, since he overcame his Evil Inclination when in an immoral environment (Potiphar’s house in Egypt).
Yosef had 2 sons, Menashe and Efraim, born in Egypt. They actually took over his place as one of the 12 tribes- his tribe was split into 2, for example, for purposes of inheriting portions in the Land of Israel (each tribe’s descendants got their own portion as part of that tribe, as did Efraim and Menashe.) The names of all the descendants of the original 12 sons as they go to Egypt is listed in this week’s Parsha, each extended family is recognized as a tribe of the same name as the son of Yaakov from which they descend.
It is a great time now to catch up on these facts, since the recent and coming parshiyot that we read each shabbos in shul deal with Yosef and his brothers and sons.
Geordie, after Bill left the White House, the Clintons moved to NY so that Hillary could run for the Senate seat that was opening up there.
LU, I agree with you, and I was going to correct him and present the names of the actual roshei yeshiva, but then I thought that maybe GAW was being sarcastic.
To BYL, I would second from LI’s advice about dorming. It’s been a long time since I have been on a college campus, but even in my days, it would be very uncommon to find a frum girl in a secular college dorm. And that was before the movement to make mixed gender dorms and get rid of separate gender bathrooms. I doubt any seminary would be happy with you dorming at a secular college, even if they support the idea of going to college. They would probably encourage you to find some nice, frum girls to room with off campus if you must go to an out of town college.
Regarding M’s post, I don’t think that getting a good education in seminary requires that the teachers be huge talmidei chachamim who learned gemara for many years. I think wise women can be more effective in teaching young women, can serve more as role models while still being able to impart lots of knowledge, whether it is chumash or hashkafa. Like LU said, there are many highly educated, very smart women teachers who know a lot of chumash and hashkafa, maybe more than the average man. And considering all things, it is much better/safer to have a close mentor-type of relationship with a female teacher, v’hameiven yavin. While it was once common in certain seminaries to have male teachers/talmeidi chachamim, I would not be surprised if this model is not changing. Note that many seminaries will have a notable posek/rav for their halacha classes, though, even if the rest of their staff is female.
LB, if you are really worried about the siddur issue and there is an eruv in your community, then bring your own siddur from home. It may even help your davening, if you mark places beforehand, insert notes to explain things, etc.
As far as seats, there is a concept about having an established seat for davening. And it is hard to know that if you are not a regular and cannot interrupt the person in the next seat to ask. But generally, women’s seats are assigned only for Rosh Hashana/Yom kippur, and at other times, they sit where they want to. Maybe the front row is reserved for the rebbitzin or other important women. Naturally, the regular shul goers usually will sit in the same place, so it kind of becomes their seat unofficially. But women’s sections are not full as many women do not come since they have little kids to take care of, so there will probably be extra seats. Take one in the back, and you probably will be ok, or get there early enough when talking is still allowed and you can ask where you can sit without offending anyone.
LB, people I know all use dish soap, and rinse well.
I am glad you have the book, just follow its guidelines. I doubt it says that peroxide is necessary.
LB, I am not a posek, but based on what I learned:
you can’t have anything in your mouth while davening. Eating/drinking while davening would not be permissible, but if there is a medical need, then a shaila should be asked about when it is permissible. I don’t think a Rav would have any problem with someone bringing a water bottle to shul, as long as there is an eruv for carrying it outside. many shuls set up food/drinks at the back for kiddush after davening, so there is no issue of bringing food/drink into the shul.
As far as the post about pages in siddur, it all depends on where in the davening you and the other person is up to. There are parts that you are allowed to talk, and parts you are not, parts that you can interrupt with a gesture, parts that you cannot. Shemone Esreh and birchat Shema are more stringent in terms of interruptions than pisukei dezimra.
As far as the last siddur issue, someone will get the last siddur, why shouldn’t it be you, especially if not having it means you will not be able to daven.
Most Israelis believe owning an apartment no matter where it is, is a security, even if they don’t live there. Why would she think that she won’t be able to rent it out? The renters should be paying the property tax (I assume she means arnona) and any other fees and utilities. property values in EY continually go up, although Arad is not a central high value area, there is such a housing crisis in the country and shortage in available apartments, that young couples go further and further afield to find anything affordable. If she feels that Arad is not the best location, then she can sell and buy elsewhere, although she will probably not be able to find something comparable in the center of the country for the money she will get. But if she doesn’t buy something else, the money will end up slipping away. real estate in Israel is considered a good investment, both from a financial point of view and an emotional one.
Lightbrite, check with your Rav, light accordingly, say the bracha on the candles, and then feel free to add all the bakashot that you want to, for all your family members. It is a very special moment, take as long as you want, shed as many tears as you need to, connect to all of your family and the long tradition of Jewish women lighting shabbos candles throughout the generations. And don’t forget to pray for yourself as well.
I’m going to throw a little more fuel on the fire and suggest that RZ wasn’t a movement either. Zionism was a movement. Then there was the frum community’s reaction to that- those who embraced and applauded it (Mizrachi), and those who opposed it (Agudah et al). Meaning that the splinter in the frum world was based on Hashkafa and also the old standby, politics. The differences in the communities as they are now I think stem from that original stance- joining and working side-by-side with the secular Zionists to build the state, or fortifying the community against the outside influences of the secular builders of the state.
Now feel free to discuss, dissect and disagree….
“I just remembered when I first started to really realize that the Chilonim use the term “chareidi” to refer to anyone who is fully frum. “
Actually, when the chilonim want to refer to chareidim, they often use the term “dosim.”
peroxide on food that you are going to eat?
Are you doing this to remove dirt, germs, pesticides or bugs?
There are halachically acceptable ways to clean and check veggies and fruits, some don’t need any checking at all. There are books about what you have to do for what veggies/fruit. There are also bug-free versions of veggies out there for the most problematic (like broccoli). I think you may be going overboard.
Uh, lightbrite, fruits and vegetables don’t need kashering.
The only kashrus issues would be bug infestation, since bugs are assur to eat. Each veggie/fruit has its own ways of dealing with bug-removal, which can include soaking in soapy water. There are some that are so difficult to check and remove bugs that we are told to avoid them altogether.
The other issue, which is not a kashrus issue per se, applies only to fruits/veggies grown in Eretz yisroel, and that is that they can’t be eaten until terumos/maasros are taken off (tithing) and fruit can’t be eaten first 4 years from when tree is planted (orla and neta revai).