>The major source of anti-semitic slurs are assimilated Jews.

That’s quite a statement to make, isn’t it?

“But if there is genuinely no question of them repeating the abuse, and this is possible (If they are now severely disabled, for example), then is it our duty to ensure they are punished?”

How about our duty to show the one who was abused that we care about what he went through? To show other abusers that we care about what they do?

The abuser deserves no sympathy for what he did. He should be reported to the real authorities. No more covering this up.

Covering up shows other abusers that if the circumstances are right, they can get away with a grievous action.

Covering up shows the victim that we are disregarding what they went through and protecting their abuser.

Covering up is absolutely disgusting.

What could it be, it’s a mirage

You’re scheming on a thing – that’s sabotage

“as if the preference of one makes the other something at all preferred?”

I make this analogy every time, but I’m going to make it again anyways. In the 1900’s your argument would have been “pick your poison: a white child be raised by physically and emotionally abusive white parents or loving black/interracial couple parents”.

What many are arguing here is that only one of those scenarios is poison.

“[…]IS CHILD ABUSE for WILLFULLY AND INTENTIONALLY denying the child a male father and female mother which the child clearly needs for life”

And this? You define child abuse as and I quote again for effect: “WILLFULLY AND INTENTIONALLY denying the child a male father and female mother which the child clearly needs for life”

Under your definition that you have espoused for us here, divorce is considered child abuse. Further, a single mother is child abuse. Further, the second a mother is divorced and left with her children, she must remarry immediately lest it be child abuse.

What a nonsensical definition of child abuse.

JF02: +1

As someone in a top law school, let me give my two cents.

The real benefit of getting a “regular” degree over a BTL exists, but is short lived. By getting a BA in pre-law type courses, I had the background information to not miss a beat when lectures began.

There were some in my classes who did not have a similar background to me and it took them a little bit more time to catch on.

That said, eventually everyone was on the same page and any differences between us became negligible.

That said, so long as you’re a hardworking individual, it doesn’t really matter what you get your degree in. My preference would always be for a non-BTL because it gave me background knowledge which proved very helpful in studying for the LSAT and the first few months of law school. Ultimately it comes down to personal preference and does not mean that you won’t succeed if a BTL is the path you choose.

“please look up the definition of marriage in the dictionary. It is a coming together of two very different entities (and you can’t get more different than a man or a woman) and making them into one thing”

This can’t be a valid argument can it? Words are socially defined/constructed and have no inherent value attached to them. For instance many if not most dictionaries written recently define marriage as a legal contract between “spouses” (as opposed to man and woman).

I have said this before on this topic, but in the past 100 years, it was illegal for inter-racial couples to marry. At the time, many Americans thought that to allow such inter-racial couples to marry would “imply societal acceptance if not approval”.

The same arguments made against inter-racial couples for marrying are now used for same-gender couples and are ridiculous and unwarranted.

LOL 🙂

But still…where did the lighter fluid come from?

Magic nowadays is just slight of hand. It takes a lot of practice, but it’s nothing “special” aside from that.

Law schools do not care where your degree comes from as a general rule. Ultimately, what matters is your GPA and LSAT [ie. an 85% GPA from Harvard is not worth more than a 90% from Touro]. Maybe all things being equal your university/college may make a difference, but even then, your personal statement will likely be the difference-breaker.

In first year, our classes were assigned and we were not given discretion to switch our schedules. That said, there were enough people to borrow notes from and audio recordings were made readily available to accommodate those who could not attend lecture for religious observances.

In regard to living with no income, you can make it work through applying for a Line of Credit, bursaries and scholarships. If your wife is working, that obviously makes things MUCH easier. If not, budgeting will be a key to your survival off of minimum money. If you can find a cheaper place to live during those three years (such as living with family) though not ideal, that is also very helpful.

“I believe that it is likely that such parenting is THE root cause of MOST children going OTD.”

The problem goes way beyond parenting.

I would suggest the mere fact that we call it off THE derech is problematic as it assumes there is ONLY one derech. Accepting that there is only one derech often leads to ostracizing of the one who is not like the others. This then leads to to feelings of dissonance which will not always and perhaps not even often bring the one who does not fit in back to the fold.

Judaism is not black and white as many families/schools/people believe it to be. Yet we preach and “us” vs “them” mentality almost every day.

I’m certainly not making any suggestions to fix the siutation, but in my mind and as someone who is not a parent yet, I’d rather have a son/daughter who doesn’t necessarily follow every halacha to a T than one who does because their parents/community compelled them to do it and down the line inevitably rejects me as a parent and the community they grew up in as intolerant of those who do not fit the mold.

And JewishFeminist02, though I have not spoken to Toi about this, I think I speak on behalf of Toi when I say your parents should have NEVER provided you with a lock and should have removed it immediately upon becoming aware of its existence.

Oh! The question isn’t even about locks at all!

It’s about privacy and whether children and teenagers should be trusted by parents to be alone in their room because they might get up to no good!

I’m kind of surprised to see a lot of these responses. Most of them seem to suggest that children/teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to go out on their own lest they do something wrong due to a lack of supervision. Is one better off growing as an individual through both success and failure or should they be overly-protected and never have the opportunities to do so? Seems rather obvious…

My view? Rather than not trusting your children (which is inherently messed up), TEACH them what is right and wrong. At least have a conversation with the children as to why or why not they may be provided with locks or not. It seems almost passive-agressive to simply not provide a lock due to a lack of trust. Children/teenagers won’t take anything away from that except “my parents don’t trust me or value my privacy”.

“I think the profession as a whole would be better off without the glut of students who are just lost and looking for a direction. “

What else would you have people do with their Bachelor of Arts? 🙂

To get into Touro Law, you don’t need a particulary good LSAT score (around 151) and a 3.2 cGPA.

50% of applicants are accepted. One can achieve a 151 LSAT score without any practice (seriously).

But to get into a half-decent law school, it has nothing to do with being “smart enough”, but rather how much work you are willing to put in.

If you are still in College/University, work your hardest to end your last two years with a 3.7+ GPA.

If you have already completed College/University and are unhappy with your overall GPA, consider taking a Masters Program which can only help your case for accesptance. Additionally, study study and study again for the LSAT because its worth 50% of your admission.

I reccomend the PowerScore books for LSAT study books.

Just some random thoughts I have when I read these discussions:

I TRULY believe that marriage is cheapened by us everyday when Torah Observant choose to only date a girl/boy based on superficial things such as looks/money/who their family is etc. THIS cheapens marriage much more than those who marry because they fell in love with who a person is.

2. Why are we always picking and choosing what is wrong and worthy of being up in arms about? There are so many Toeivas and Torah prohibitions, and yet where are the masses of members of the Jewish faith to criticize those who are slimy in their business dealings (Devarim 25:13-16).

3. A similar thought, how can you be up in arms against legalizing gay marriage and not be up in arms when they open up a McDonalds in a Jewish area? Both are providing the vehicle by which Jews will be committing aveirahs. One step further, there’s no inherent taivah to eat a cheeseburger, but one who Hashem creates with the tayva of being attracted to the same-sex does have an inherent tayva similar to an individual has an attraction to the opposite sex! I would argue logically that we should judge less those who have an inherent tayva they are born with than one that is so easy not to do…!

4. The saying “don’t throw stones in glass houses” really rings true here. If every Jew spent as much time working on their own middos as they spend on criticizing other Jews for succumbing to their shortcomings we would honestly have a nation of Tzadikim.

It’s so not antisemitism. It’s a chillel Hashem is what it is.

It was a group of 100 teenagers, among who, a number failed to follow the stewardesses instructions (which happened to be basic airline takeoff procedure).

Though the airline may have overreacted, I would never say they were wrong. I was a teenager not to long ago and have travelled with my classmates in large numbers. We were a little rowdy, though no where near over the top.

I could only imagine 100 teenage friends on such a flight. Not saying they were all wrong, but enough to worry the airline.

Jblady:

I strongly agree with much of what you said. The stories make large leaps which definitely do not logically follow.

I could say that I know of two families who were frum and each of them had a son who wore green crocs to Shul on Yom Kippur. A year later, both of those sons were OTD. Must have been the shoes right?

Not really.

“the real message i see from this pamphlet is that we are blaming everything on the internet when there are way more plausible answers to the situation”

I agree with this statement.

I do not post here often, but when I saw this thread, I just knew I needed to post.

I agree with you 1,000,000%. But what can we do about this? Take away their phones?

10952: “If they decided not to, then we know by virtue of them being far wiser and greater than any of us, that that is the correct decision. “

No. Wrong.

They may be more learned than any of us, but they are human and therefore capable of making mistakes. This is why there are different levels of courts/judges in Torah and Secular law. Perhaps they are making the decision that they deem to be the most appropriate, but that surely does not make it the “correct” decision.

+1 to Zahavasdad.

What you have explained is termed as “linguistic paranoia”.

They were unlikely talking about you. We just like to think they are because we have a tendency to think the world revolves around us. This is not meant to say you are self-centered but rather that we, as humans, tend to make sense of the world in terms of ourselves.

More likely what’s going on is: one of the speakers might not speak English, so the other speaker will interlocute in their shared language. Or perhaps they feel they wish to speak about a matter that doesn’t concern those around them and they can only do so in the non-dominant language.

Hi Bpmum,

As someone who’s been there i know exactly what you are going through. I was diagnosed with anorexia 2 years ago and have been fighting ever since. Anorexia may not consume me as it once did, but the thoughts and behaviors associated with my ED will haunt me forever. I know fasting has got to be the hardest thing in the world for you right now. let’s face it, i’m sure you live on a somewhat unconventional diet and gearing up for the fast can be a headtrip in itself. even if you know you will be depriving your body of nutrients for a full 25 hours, you can’t bring yourself to add more than to restricted portion sizes to prepare yourself adequately for this ‘starvation’. fast days are stressful… as it stands caloric intakes and portion sizes haunt you routinely at every hour of the day… how much more so on a fast day when the ENTIRE day revolves around our 2 favorite things. 1)restriction and 2)food. fast days are almost ‘easy’ to those that suffer with an ED.We aren’t forced to a table watching everyone else enjoying food so mindlessly and effortlessly and being tormented to the point of submission when we succumb to eat the food ourselves… the downside to these fast days are that we know we actually like them. not only like them but almost look forward to them. Any rav will agree that not only are you NOT ALLOWED TO FAST you have a mechuyav to eat on a fast day. Not only will fasting set you back into an unhealthy mindset, it is also a sarkanah as you do not have the reserves to nourish your body for a full 25 hour period. If you need to sneak food up to your bedroom or eat at a time when nobody is around…Do it! Unfortunately many people are still are in the dark about eating disorders. if your family understood what you were risking by fasting they would not be forcing this upon you. Remember,you can still gain meaning from tisha baav without fasting by practicing what it is really about. Some people can fast and spend an entire day speaking loshon hora, watching videos and surfing the web. You have the power to take incredible things away from tisha baav that those who are fasting may not have the strength to do.

Be strong! We all support you!

Poppa is on the money. It is rare that two people who have never met will have real chemistry after only seeing eachother twice. But if the guy does not feel himself as being attracted to his date, he will likely not tell the Shadchan this outright.

Soon, when the word “chemistry” becomes synonymous with “attractive”, people will need to come up with a new word to express why they do not wish to see their date again. Perhaps people will tell their Shadchan that they did not feel “synergy”.