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kodesh-
I remember being taught that while you date you should look out for all the negatives…Once you are married you should only look for the positive things about your spouse.
That being said…if there is a real problem (not just a feeling that you settled for less) then it needs to be taken care of.
Like everyone else said (oomis said it best) you should definitely see a marriage counselor, and the sooner the better.
The Goq-
Some people (actually many people) dont think before they speak. She probably had good intentions but take whatever she says with a grain of salt.
I am shocked by this thread.
And I’m also offended.
And I cant understand why this thread is still open. How many sufferring couples hearts are you going to stick daggers through?
I love how nobody is even bothering to argue with popas ridiculous post abt childbirth. lol just wait till he watches his own wife in labor. I know lots of husbands who are in tears watching their wives suffer
popa-
lol, I like that story
I remember being a little nervous for DY but it was no big deal. Little did I know that a few years later I’d be going for fertility treatments and getting blood tests 3 times a week. I can tell u now…Its sooo not a big deal. These are the easy things in life : )
I’m doing it too – it costs us abt $2,000 a month. And I feel like we have everything we need
yentingyenta- I have the same issue. I finally settled on a canon powershot 100 HS. It doesnt have a viewfinder though…
and the rebels are nice…but i want a 60D
Bar Shattya- You and pba are waaayyy to obsessed with skinny girls. I think it would be pretty funny if you marry a skinny girl and she gets fat after her first baby
coffee addict-
I also forgot! And here I thought I was the only one who lost out on the promotion….
Im assuming the answer is Joseph because he’s operating under many many screen names
Ramat Eshkol also has the menorah shul (torah utefillah) – its on maavar hamitlah right next door to gurelitz bakery
and bnei torah is also in the park- on the way down to bnei hayeshivos
not sure what times they daven though
that shteeble on ramat hagolan that lemony snicket is talking about davens at 9:00 on shabbos morning
and maalot dafna has a 9:20 shabbos morning minyan if u ever oversleep…
Go to Belz and watch the Rebbe light menorah. Its really beautiful
Mazel Tov! B’Chasdei Hashem I gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl right before yom kippur!
“At the end of the day it seems that there is nothing wrong with it……”
Our Rav told us that if it will be easier for you or you will lose money, then it is perfectly muttar to buy things beforehand but you should be careful to put it away and not tell people about what you bought. This is because if there is someone who ch”v doesnt have children that sees you preparing for your baby before you have it, it could be an ayin hara.
So you can do what you have to do but dont flaunt it
happiest and fan of pd-
The difference is that yesterday everyone CHOSE to disconnect. Not like Shabbos and Yom Tov when you dont have a choice. The point is to be able to control your addictions
I think it was a great deal- it’ll teach her a little independence. Its not good for someone to be hanging off their mommys apron strings at that age. 21,000 bucks is not a bad price for your daughters maturity.
Shes been there at most 2-3 weeks…it takes most girls until Chanukah before they arent homesick and then they dont even want to go home for pesach because they love it so much.
Dont worry so much. When the year is over she’ll be crying to go back…
I asked one of the mexicans who works there if he yaalilis; he said he doesn’t know what it means but he saw the video…
I heard from a prominent Rosh Yeshiva in a shmuess, that there is no english word for fargin.
WIY-
It probably makes her nervous. Everyone has something that grates on their nerves and this must be what gets to haifagirl
It poured on a few of the dates that I went out on with my husband and boy did I have frizzy hair. At some point I just put it in a pony and guess what? He married me anyways
As far as the argument about complimenting girls…in some circles its accepted and in others it isnt. I dont understand why you even bother arguing. You are obviously both from very different circles, so while the girls Middlepath dates will appreciate a compliment, the girls that obaminator dates will not. Everyone should just do what is accepted in their circles.
Obaminator-
A good guy will take his gemorah along with him when he goes out of town
Never give up! Of course you’ll get married. You’ll go much farther with a good attitude than with a depressed one. Just daven and believe that Hashem has your best interests in mind. Maybe take on a chessed or something that will give you extra zchusim
“However, if I was the shadchan and a guy said that, I would know he meant “looks”. “
I agree. If he’s talking about chemistry so soon it means he doesnt like how she looks
Adorable-
They probably learned the halachos of what is muttar to read on Shabbos and it could be that those magazines dont fit in that picture. (I know there are halachos about this that are widely ignored)
“Where can you find out what time chatzos (halayala?) is? Are there any websites that say? “
Myzmanim.com
They have all the zmanim for all over the world.
funny to see how many different Josephs there are in this thread
yeah you can go on kevarim tours, kayaking, banana boating, horse back riding, ATVing, biking around the kinneret, night boatrides in the kinneret…enjoy!
me
As long as the mods only delete your threads and they dont block you, its fine
I find your posts quite entertaining
That thread made me think that maybe you are one of those older singles who feel like nebs when given gelilah and thats why you were so steamed up about it
Actually, my israeli kitchen door has a window also
And I dunno…the windows definitely do not let in enough light to be able to use the bathroom without turning on the bathroom light
Dont worry adorable, I think your right also but as I said before, there isnt as much of a problem for people who socialize with the opposite gender in other settings anyways
Fix it up-
“And cmon, hus goiing to sit there thinking that the other wife is more attractive or wtvr?”
“But I dunno, i think that husband and wife should trust each other enough to know that they arent going to be “looking” and “comparing”
I think you’re being a little naive. Sit down and ask your husband for a little chat to explain to you how Hashem created man. Its not a matter of trust – its automatic and its a natural behavior that man has to fight
Wolf-
“Baloney. I have never cheated, or wished I could cheat, with any guest who has been to my house.”
Im sure you havent but I presume (based on your posts) that you did not grow up in an insular little box the way many yeshivish people nowadays do. Its very different for someone who grew up open minded in a setting where its accepted to speak with people of the opposite gender, than it is for a couple who never dealt with anyone from the opposite gender besides their spouse. For them it is much more dangerous
(This was not meant as an insult or to say you sinned by growing up like that- quite the contrary- I’m explaining why for you it may be ok but for others it may not be. You have to know who you are and who you are hosting)
Another point is that young couples married for a year or two should be focusing on their own relationship – not hosting another couple that may cause jealousy and discontentment, when their relationship is not yet solid. For older couples who are already off the rocks it isnt as bad, especially if there are a bunch of children joining the meal as well.
For those touting the hachnosas orchim shpiel- there are plenty of other guests that you can have over- bochurim from a yeshiva, siblings, your grandparents, older lonely people…there is plenty of opportunity to do hachnosas orchim.
Adorable-
I would suggest you do whatever you can to break that habit right now so that when it comes to finding your bashert it isnt a torturous decision
“sounds more Israeli to me”
lol- I was just going to say that. But the menu sounds suspiciously israeli to me also…so the name will fit right in
“I’m honestly getting scared.”
I think thats the point…We are supposed to be terrified enough to do teshuva since it obviously wasnt happening without all the scary stuff…
“And how do you think the women inside would react to your son’s presence there.”
Women bring their sons into the ladies room with them all the time. I’ve even seen boys that look to be 10 years old. No one ever seems to mind so its not a problem at all
How many times a day are you going to play the Unity Song??????
“News I get from the mikvah”
lol- a real BPer
groupon.com
jewpon.com
but woot.com is the most entertaining
Hi, anyone know what plug-in I need to download in order to play YWN Radio on Mozilla Firefox?
I married someone with a funny name and I’m proud of it! In the beginning my family and I would make fun of it but once the dating got serious, not only did I not mind it, I actually liked it.
It was a refreshing change for me though- I have a very common first and last (maiden) name and I know a whole bunch of people with the same exact name as me. My husband is the only one I know with that name
“whatrutalkingabt
what are you talking about? 🙂 “
oh absolutely nothing ; )
“I’m enjoying every second of my single life right now.”
Thats the right attitude! Take advantage of the time now and iyh you’ll find your zivug bkarov!
BPT-
“Is your friend 2nd rate because she has divorced family members?”
No she is not second rate at all but would you want your son marrying into a family that isnt a family and having to deal with all the issues that may come along with having divorced in laws? Do you want your grandchildren growing up without having another loving bubby and zaidys warm house to go to? I hate it as much as you do, but if you think about it from a different perspective, why get involved with all that if you dont have to?
“That statement galls me. The “names” are people, not satistics.”
It galls alot of people but thats the reality. Its no secret that the way our shidduch process works is less than ideal
Observantteen-
“But I still want to share my simcha with my friends…I hope I’m not annoying!”
Its very hard to be conscious of how much you speak about your chosson because you probably have your head in the clouds, but for your friends sakes and your own, try your hardest to keep it minimal. I would talk to this friend privately and try to give her chizuk and tell her youre davening for her. Also, your world just doubled- now you can help find her a shidduch because you know all these new people that your chosson and his family knows
Oomis-
“Is it HER fault that her parents couldn’t make their marriage work?”
No its not her fault but thats where Hashem put her and thats her nisayon right now. Its not someones fault if they have a mental illness either but you say that they can probably get any regular shidduch?
bombmaniac-
“name me ONE good reason why someone from a broken home is incapable of themselves building a loving home?! “
No one ever said that someone from from a broken home is incapable of building a loving one. There are a lot of other things involved other than the boy/girl themselves. most people are also looking for a nice warm loving family to join instead of a broken one that may place great stress on their lives in many areas. They also can never understand their spouse fully, having never known what a childhood like that is like. People like to marry someone with a similar background. Men and women have enough differences that its worthwhile to look for someone from the same background to minimize the differences and help shalom bayis.
“Baruch Hashem I’ve shtieged over the year and its even less nogeiah now then before.”
Havent seen her around lately anyways…Maybe shes also shteiging ; )
“It isn’t tznius for rabbonim to teach women about tznius. Turns me off big time.”
Well in order for some women to get it, it has to be spelled out for them by a man. We had a man in seminary explain to us what was so bad about being untznius. (He didnt say anything inappropriate for single girls to hear) It scared a lot of girls who honestly did not know what they were doing wrong because it was never explained correctly in high school.
In high school all they did was have some 18th century looking rebbetzin get up and tell everyone how its so beautiful to be tznius and dont we all want to be tznius so badly? Frankly speaking, we didnt.
“Ah, so that’s why that other couple I set up got divorced… because I didn’t want to accept a gift from them.”
Its one thing if you didnt *accept* the gift that they offered you. Its quite another thing if they dont offer anything at all.
There are many very freaky stories where the shadchan was unhappy with how they were paid (either very little or not at all) and the couple had difficulties until the debt was paid. This is really serious business
“make my shidduch and I promise to pay you”
That was the best line on this whole thread
I agree with you 100%, but just bear in mind that a man’s standards of whats insulting is different than a woman’s.
It may be that they kid around like that all the time (even though its wrong) and it doesnt hurt their big guy egos
Popa -why dont you just ask her if she really cares or if this is part of her job requirements ; )
That should send her for a loop