Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
GAW
Stop asking me questions that you can answer on your own.
If someone can afford buying an apartment its not indulging by definition, its a very real need and a smart investment.
The size of the apartment and how lavishly it is decorated, thats where indulgence comes into play.
A car is a need, getting a brand new BMW 760li fully loaded is an indulgence.
Theres a Halacha, of buying clothes for Yom Tov, in that case its a mitzvah to buy your wife something nice. Although theres likely a limit to how much one needs to spend on that as well.
Genoiy is the most yeshivish word lol
RSRH
Theres an edit button for a reason. Just saying.
GAW
Ok I hear that the collecting for an apartment is inappropriate but thats not the case for everyone. The minhag to buy an apartment has been around a long time. Its just that prices have gone up big time and now some have to go collecting to afford to pay for it. I agree if you cant afford it then go without it.
Ask a Rabbi if you are obligated to give Tzeddakah to someone collecting for a house for his kid.
GAW
It can be well argued that an apartment is a necessity an an intelligent investment as owning real estate in Israel is a winning proposition especially if you read the recent articles on how the real estate market is booming in Israel.
Designer clothing is most definitely not a necessity! Its totally for Gaivah especially when taken to excess.
BP Totty
Are you trying to scare me out of getting married lol?!
myfriend
Lower mids. Why? What about you?
BP Totty
Main thing is they go with a good chevra and dorm/dira with good chevra. Also, make sure your son doesnt try to be “oiber chuchem” and enroll in a shiur thats beyond his present level of learning because it easily leads to burnout. Another point is he needs good chavrusos, if his chavrusas arents good he has to be ready to switch and not try to stick it out and risk wasting a zman with bad chavrusos. My first zman I had 4 chvrusah switches in the first week! A chavrusah is like a shidduch and if it doesnt match its not going to go. As a former Mir Bachur I can tell you these are the main issues.
BPT
Single malt? 😉
BP Totty
You think Im 20?
I havent seen 20 in a few years buddy. I mid 20’s and lets leave it at that.
so right
I know at the end of his life, thats what I wrote earlier to GAW. Maybe thats the Teirutz.
BPT
Wait you are from Scotland?!
bombmaniac et al…
Rav Ruderman – 613 Mitzvos Doesn’t Automatically Make You A Tzaddik
“I have lived with Lavan (Im Lavan Garti), and tarried until now” [Bereshis 32:5]. Rashi cites the famous Chazal that the word “Garti” (I lived) has the numerical value of 613 (Taryag), indicating “I lived with the wicked Lavan, but I observed the 613 Commandments – without learning from his evil ways.”
Rav Ruderman noted the apparent redundancy in Yaakov’s message to his brother, Eisav. If Yaakov had already sent the message “I observed the 613 Commandments,” what is added by further stating “and I have not learned from the evil ways of Lavan?” Rav Ruderman Zt”l, taught that the inference to be drawn is that one can observe the 613 commandments and, nevertheless, learn from the ways of a Lavan.
Even within the context of a fully observant life-style, a person can wind up looking like a Lavan. Even when an individual’s actions are technically permissible, the person may still be acting like a Lavan. A person can live an indulgent life-style — one that may not technically deviate from the letter of the Law, but one,which is totally foreign from the spirit of the Law.
Therefore, Yaakov clarified: “Not only have I observed the letter of the 613 commandments, I have also not learned from Lavan and have even continued to observe the spirit of those laws.”
From Revach.net
BPT
Nah, from the post you just penned on the “bochurim” thread, I see you and I have a LOT in common, despite our age gap.
I agree with that statement. They say I am wise beyond my years :-p
chad pa’ami
Yes I can, Rabbi YY has the Glasgow accent
Pashuteh Yid
Actually, I think a married woman should go out on the street looking good, but not “too good.”
Her looks and best clothing should be reserved for her husband. Does it make any sense that women look great all day and when the husband comes home and sees her for the first time her make up is off and shes in a house coat, robe whatever looking very “plain”…?
The way things are done today is backwards.
Squeak
I hope you are standing at the ready with that designer label cane of yours 🙂
Wolf
My point is specifically Yishmael who was a well known Rasha in the Torah. As far as Rabbi Tarphons name, well I dont know if it was his birth name but Tarfon is Greek for ‘teacher’ so it makes sense. Antigonus, a Greek name meaning “comparable to his father” or “worthy of his father” also is no problem by me. Its Yishmael that bothers me as we know he was clearly a villain in the Torah.
addicted
Im not saying I have perfected this. Far from it, but by constantly reviewing this concept any time anyone does anything to you that you dislike will make it become more real to you.
Sacrilege
You can have problems with the system and still be a part of it.
Theres no need to distance yourself from a system or group because things arent 100% perfect. Im sure many of the people who are high up in the system agree that the system has problems, that doesnt mean they will throw out the baby with the bathwater.
gavra_at_work
By the way I never got how Yishmael became a Jewish name. There is a Rabbi Yishmael Kohen Gadol in the Gemara. If you have an answer please enlighten me. (Or is it because he did Teshuvah at the end of his life?)
Wolf
You aren’t modernish just Farmished if you say Seuda Shlishis. Its very rare to hear a Seuda Shlishi”s”. Its either Seuda Shlishit or Shalosh Seudot. Or Shahloshudis. Or Shaluhsheedis or Shalsheedis if you are Chassidish.
Pet peeve
It means Moments of Quackery
Squeak
Is this the same as Shallallalashoodis?
No, I believe that may be the name of some Middle Eastern dish though.
Helpful
Totally ridiculous idea. Abolish all titles, no Rabbi no Gabbai no nothing everyone should just be called person. Titles serve an important purpose.
Sacrilege
But your vitriol towards Yeshivish people is unwarranted. You sound like a vegetarian who eats chicken and still wants to be called a vegetarian and when you are called on it you say “but I didn’t eat meat” and blame the vegetarians for not being openminded towards your “individuality.”
Arc,
Yeshivaguy1 also giving embellished tales?
I’m not dissuading anyone from sending their child to Israel, unless they know that their kid is weak and can easily fall in to bad company. If your kid is going with a shatrk chevra of good friends then there should be no problem.
Just don’t be a naive parent and think your child is going to The Holy Land and nothing bad can happen there. There’s plenty of unholy to be found by those who want it and its much more accessible than in the US.
Dunno
I’m not jealous, I work and can easily afford to dress like I’m “loaded” and wear all the fancy stuff but I choose not to and just dress normally without overdoing it because I know if I dressed that way it would be with negative intentions.
Aura
Did they “tell” you your name wasn’t frum enough, or are you assuming that’s why they didn’t use your Hebrew name? Unless you know their reason don’t jump to conclusions. Yes names from Tanach have more holiness.
addicted
Its all a matter of how much you believe it. It works for me because I saw numerous times in seforim how someone who gets angry is like he is being Oveid Avodah Zara…Anger is a really destructive middah.
The Arizal says that before davening one must have in mind to fulfill the mitzva of loving every Jew. What is the connection asks Rav Shimshon Pincus Zt”l. He explains that if we believe that everything that happens to us, whether pleasant or otherwise, comes from Hashem than the people who deliver Hashem’s will are simply puppets. We therefore harbor no resentment against people who have wronged us.
If we want Hashem to answer our tefillos we need to acknowledge that he is the master of our fate and there is no better way to prove we believe that than to love everybody regardless of what they have or haven’t done to you.
From Revach.net
Sacrilege
Hey every community and group has its rules. If you are MO and you start doing certain things they will call you a right winger….
Get with reality you want to be part of the Yeshivish velt you have to toe their line. You cant say “Im Yeshivish” and go and do unYeshivish things and not expect fallout.
bombmaniac
You know what I have? How do you know how I dress? I agree that usually more expensive is better but it levels off at some point. There are certain top quality recognized brands that sell shirts for $80 a shirt. There are other brands that sell for $150, $200 and more. There is no real discernible quality between the $80 shirt and the $300 shirt. But some people want to say Im wearing a Kiton shirt…
I also think that its disgusting how certain young guys think that they have to wear everything thats either Hermes Burberry or Ferragamo. I was in a certain place recently and I kid you not almost every guy was wearing a Ferragamo belt. I was so turned off. Its just uch to me. Dont you get it? Everyone wants to show they can wear Ferragamo belts or shoes…its pathetic. Its not a matter of being stylish, its a matter of everyone knowing what Brand is holding up your pants, or keeping your feet covered.
Wow its controversial subject night here isnt it?
cofeefan
Yes, think that Hashem is testing you to see how you will react. If you realize its a test and you will grow from the experience you will find it much easier to become calm. Every second you remain calm you are controlling your Middos and thats a big thing.
Bombmaniac
So we agree people should live within their means. But many dont, and many want people to think they are rich or richer than they are. Hey we all know who gets all the attention these days. We know that money means the Rabbis come to you, you get all the Kavod, the parlor meetings, the photo ops. Your name on buildings…
I would like to know how many people who have BIG BUCKS would give $1,000,000 or more to a yeshiva and not publicize it and not have their name on the building or anywhere.
mdd
I agree the comments he/she made were unfairly harsh. This is not about looking down on others and putting others down. Its about taking a good but tarnished thing and restoring it to its former glory.
Sacrilege
No I just think that on some level most of us live for other people thats all. For one guy/girl its with money, for the next its with their school choices with the 3rd its their actions or lack of doing certain things because they are scared for “Shidduchim.” Some guys who should be working are still in Yeshiva because “shidduchim” some girls want working boys but say they want learning boys because peer pressure from friends, family…It has different forms but exists in almost all of our lives to some extent. For some girls it will be not going for the job they want or the degree they want…You see what Im getting at?
Im not saying Im immune either but Baruch Hashem I got to the point where I realized I gotta do what I gotta do be me and I dont care if people look at me funny or think Im nuts or whatever.
addicted
Like I said it means something else to everyone….
TheChevra
You obviously have many questions. Why dont you get some books and start doing some quality reading?
bombmaniac
I know someone who I always “thought” was wealthy based on how he dressed, his house and his car and how he “”carried” himself. well somebody told me that this guy is in debt big time his wife wants the glam ritzy life and he goes along with her shinanigans. His life is miserable. He is so broke and yet still drives a $75,000 car.
Its not about jealousy. You dont know how many people try to “look” rich when they arent. Its a big Yetzer Hara to have “status” because we made being rich into such a big “zach” in our communities that people will do anything to maintain that status even if it means stealing from your best friends, brothers, uncles, Rabbis….you name it.
mischiefmaker
You are welcome. Really if you havent read Garden of Emunah give it a read. As far as Davening is concerned, I started Davening from an Artscroll Interlinear translated siddur. You cant compare it to Davening from a plain siddur. As a girl you dont have to Daven in Shul so you can Daven in private. If you Daven from such a Siddur you will know the meaning of every word you say, which means it will have much more impact, additionally, dont be afraid to cry to Hashem, He is your Father, He Loves you more than you can ever imagine, dont be afraid to cry your eyes out to Him and plead for whatever it is that you need and ask to be close to Him. The essence of prayer is recognizing that humans are absolutely powerless to do anything and it all comes from Hashem, when you Daven think that in your mind, think Hashem I fully know, and believe to the depths of my neshama that only You can help me in any situation, everything comes from You, there is no power besides You, You are the source of all good and blessing, please take me into Your loving hands and take care of me, help me…
It says that the gates of tears havent been closed. Which means that tears always go straight up to Hashem.
addicted
You should ask the person who said it what it means because some of these terms are flexible in their translation and mean different things to different people. If you asked me what Yeshivish means, it wont necessarily be the answer you would give me had I asked you.
BP Totty
I am not trying to paint a bleak picture Chas Veshalom. Most boys and girls learn a lot and shtieg and grow and become mentchen in Israel. But we need to be aware of the very real opportunities for kids to seriously foul up their lives there. (I didnt even mention drugs but I can throw that in as well.)
Just be aware, forewarned is forearmed. If you know your child (and Im speaking generally not just to BPT)
is prone to falling in to negative peer pressure be very wary of sending him to Israel.
mdd
You are correct in many ways.
The yeshivos have to “dumb down” the curriculum because not everybody in the class/shiur can keep up with a fast paced learning speed. So the really smart guys or girls for that matter arent challenged and they dont get to fulfill their potential.
Additionally, we accepted too low of a standard as ok. Its just ridiculous.
I really think things need to go back to the old way where there were special yeshivos for the Metzuyanim. There can be Yeshivos for Metzuyanim and yeshivos for regular people but the smarter kids deserve a harder more challenging curriculum geared towards their potential. But that wont happen because every rich guy will pay to have his mediocre kid in the yeshivah, and unlike in prewar Europe the Rosh Hayeshivos of today dont have the backbone to say no you cant buy your way in here.
Sacrilege
“Most people live for others”
I b’chlal dont know where you pulled that out of.
Well Ill explain. If someone dresses for others, buys their car so others should look, builds their house large and makes a fancy outside so people should look, make fancy simchos because they want everyone to see how rich they are and how classy blah blah blah, accept certain or decline certain jobs based on people’s perceptions, send their kids to certain Yeshivos or BY because of what others will think, (dont send their kids for therapy if they need it because “what will people say/think”)
if guys/girls go to a certain Yeshiva or BY Beis Medrash or Seminary because its “good for shidduchim”, do or dont do certain things because its “good or bad for shidduchim” and make all kinds of life choices based on what others think then they arent living their own lives. They are prisoners. Many people in our frum society are prisoners of “what the neighbors will think.” Their frumkiet is fake and only because of “I dont want to look bad.” Or something similar.
Hey thats how it is if you dont agree you obviously dont see whats going on out there but to a certain extent almost everybody is making choices and doing things influenced by what others perceptions of them will be.
I dont need you to agree when its so obvious.
Sacrilege
If a person does things to attract attention be it how they dress, what they drive, the house they build its a lack of Tznius as well as being steeped in gashmius but the need to show off stems from low self esteem and the need to get others approval.
Most people live for others. Some to a lesser extent some to a greater extent.