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real-brisker
I have given some thought to your post and I now agree with you very strongly on one point. The way parents talk to babies and young children. Besides sounding pathetic, you teach your child poor vocabulary and grammar I have heard parents call things by the name the baby calls it and its a mistake. The kid is to young to properly pronounce it so they say for example gape instead of grape, but they “think” they are saying grape or at least are trying to. If you always ask them “do you want gapes?” you reinforce bad vocabulary and make them think that the real word is gape and not grape.
There are many kids in the 1st or 2nd grade who still use baby words because their parents didnt realize at the time that calling blanket blankie, or bed “bettie”…was going to stick…
eclipse
You tip $5 and with a bounced check?! Have you been out of your house recently? What the heck can you buy with $5?!
frumladygit
In my home (im unmarried) my mother cooks for Shabbos on Thursday and Friday, she does some shopping during the week and my mother works but she doesnt have to deal with little kids.
Heres some ideas:
Sit down with pen and paper and plan your Shabbos like so
1. How many people are you cooking for?
2. How much food do you really realistically need. (No you dont need to make 3 different main dishes!!!!) Keep things basic + a few extras that you want to add but dont go overboard
3. Figure out when to do the shopping and how to get it done in as brief amount of time as possible.
4. Figure out when the best time would be to do your cooking so you get the most done without the kids on your head or underfoot.
5. See if you can cook in bulk and put away in the freezer so that you make one big soup that can last a month…
Now as for the mess, do you have any older kids to help clean up?
Does your husband help out? He can do some of the shopping as well as helping out with the cleaning up around the house and picking up toys.
Im sure others can contribute to what I started here…
smartcookie
You should know that the answer to that is confidential….
sms007
Heavy women can have a great marriage. But just like women expect men to be sensitive to whats important to them, they need to be sensitive to whats important to us.
Its very important to compliment, but only compliment if its authentic. Insincere flattery is assur and will likely achieve the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish.
oomis1105
“My daughter also wrote my husband and me each a truly moving and beautiful letter of her tremendous hakoras hatov for our raising her, and for all that we had done for her all her life and in bringing her to her chuppah. it was filled with love, and is making me tear up even as I write about it.”
Thats beautiful! When did she give it to you? At the wedding?
Compliment freely? No but I charge a low fee.
Seriously though, yeah I compliment as often as I can.
Mod 80
Thank you, I admire you too as I understand you made your own journey in becoming a BT. I have the utmost respect and admiration for any BT especially those who made the decision at an adult age and while they “had it all” so to speak.
Sacrilege
Don’t misunderstand me, in regular life I’m a happy upbeat person with a sense of humor, I just take my Judaism VERY seriously. I had to work hard to get to where I am.
Like I said in this thread and other threads, I used to watch movies and tv shows, listen to non Jewish music, read non Jewish books, follow sports and go to games…I changed my life around.
Once I started changing my sense of honesty and yashrus told me I can’t go half way. I can’t live a lie. I realized that there was a whole list of things I used to do that at the time I thought “I need to do it” “can’t live without it” “there’s no way I can stop…” its all baloney excuses.
Change is hard and humans seek the path of least resistance. There’s a beautiful saying “you can’t get anywhere if you don’t get moving.”
Ok I’m going to drop the bomb, when I was doing all the wrong things I wasn’t matzliach in my personal endeavors and I wasn’t happy. I thought “Hashem hates me!” Once I started changing I realized that the reality was “I hated Hashem” and thats why nothing went my way.
If you truly let Hashem into your life He will give you so much Siyata Dishmaya you’ll be overwhelmed by how different your life is.
(The rest will be in my upcoming book IYH…just kidding lol)
Sacrilege
You don’t know me. I’m a very sincere person. I try very hard I don’t need to go into details proving it but I really care about my own spirituality as well as my fellow Jews and therefore I often post here regarding Torah related topics so I can help others in their personal observance and relationship with Hashem.
Humor is fine as long as its not out of line. That rhymed I know. There’s a very narrow line between humor and Leitzanus which is assur and something we “klap” for in Ashamnu Bagadnu. We also Klap al Cheit on Yom Kippur for Tipshus Beh, and Blatzon (leitzanus).
Leitzanus Achas doche Meah Tochachos. Humor is a powerful tool. One needs to be extremely careful not to abuse it.
Tzippi
I guess you are technically correct that there are extenuating circumstances. However I am strongly of the belief that you can’t be matzliach and you won’t have a siman bracha by being involved in anything which requires you to lower your standards of observance. Heterim Shmeterim. Hashem runs the world and He decides who to give Parnassah to and how much. Its illogical to think Hashem will reward you with Parnassah for lowering your standards of Yiddishkiet.
BPT
The way things stand now, I’m way too intense for her, I’m a really frum guy and the Frumkiet standards I expect in my home to be would be too demanding on her sense of freedom and desire for expression of individuality. It wouldn’t work trust me. I need a girl on my level.
Sacrilege
I see you seem to view things in the framework of “stars or demerits” that’s not the idea. I just try to focus on being a better person every day and trying to get closer to Hashem. I don’t focus on how much schar or onesh I will get for doing or not doing something. People who have anxiety are the types that worry, oh no I did an Aveira I’m going to get punished now I may get hit by lightening…that’s not how we are supposed to live our lives.
I think the best route to growth is to focus on building a positive relationship with Hashem by having a positive relationship with and towards yourself and others which will automatically pave the road to a positive relationship with Hashem. By doing Aveiros we are hurting ourselves which automatically means we aren’t having a positive relationship with ourselves, and don’t really love ourselves enough to do what’s in our own best interests this in turn will be an impediment towards a relationship with Hashem.
The purpose of life is a relationship with Hashem, not just to “play by the rules” or “play it safe.” We should strive to make Hashem part of our lives. Not just to follow the rule book and view Hashem as the govt where we don’t want to fall afoul of the law so we obey. Hashem is our best friend, He loves us, He is our father. He loves us infinitely more than our human parents ever will and ever can. Our work or challenge is to learn to “love Him back.”
Actually, in Shema when when reciting Shema Yisroel or rather before hand, one should have in mind I am being Mekayem the Mitzvas Aseh Deoraysoh of Ahvas Hashem as well as the Mitzvah of Kabolas Oil Malchus Shomayim. When reading the paragraph Veohavta, one must focus on being Mekayem the mitzvah of loving Hashem. The words are amazing but most people don’t dwell on it. Veahavta Es Hashem Elokecha Bchol Lvavchah Uvchol Nafshecha Uvchol Meoidecha amazing no? We have to love Hashem with ALL our Heart ALL our Nefesh which is soul and all our Meod which is our wealth as well as resources talents…
HolyMoe
With all due respect to OORAH that song has annoyed the heck out of me countless times and I have often had to switch radio stations or turn off the volume just not to hear it. I am not exaggerating, it is one of the most annoying songs or “jingles” in existence.
Sacrilege
I know I agree that I am not required to stuff my ears…but it bothers me when I catch myself drawn to the tune and actively listening. I guess I hold myself to high standards…
Sacrilege
Its ok. Just keep it up and do your best. Eventually you won’t even be that interested in it but it takes time. You know what’s still hard for me? Supermarkets or other places playing non Jewish music, I have to fight not to listen, sing along or hum along or just move my head to the beat…
Popa
Maskim, most people (excluding the tiny % that have a condition that can’t be regulated by pills) are fat because they eat too much, eat the wrong food, don’t exercise…
I personally don’t either have that much pity for fat people as I have also lost weight in the past. If there’s a will there’s a way. its about motivation and will power.
Sacrilege
I’m impressed. That’s fantastic, you are doing an excellent job! Don’t be down on yourself if you slipped up once. I guess it would be easier to plan ahead and always make sure you have Jewish music available. Keep strong.
Sacrilege
I think BPT meant the oen by the Troggs.
Sometimes I’m a dairy dreamer sometimes I’m a non dairy dreamer. I love me a good ice cream 😉 but also a good steak of course! If I wasn’t Jewish Id be so fat. Lol!
Sacrilege
You still cold turkey on the NJ (no not New Jersey) Music?
ChanieE
Ok well I don’t know if all fat women would be comfortable shopping in the fat womens store. Many women are self conscious about their weight and I think they would find shopping in the fat store degrading.
Mod 80
You guys are like the NSA or something :-p
I don’t cook but I want to thank you for your persistence in putting up these recipes on a daily basis.
BPT
By the way thanks for letting me know of where to keep Heterim. Its always confusing figuring out which pocket to put them in. 😉
Tzippi
Let’s get real. Some of the wealthiest Jews are Chassidim, I know of quite a few who have the full Chassidish garb, long beard Rekel…one fellow I’m thinking of can’t even speak English clearly he is so Chassidish yet he sits on Board Meetings with non Jews and they respect him. Look at of our grandparents who didn’t give in to the nisayon of working on Shabbos all of them had Parnassah and many become big time millionaires!
You don’t gain by sacrificing your Yidishkiet.
Maybe I’m wrong but would frum women feel comfortable shopping in a store (if it were local in our neighborhoods and busy avenues) catering exclusively to plus sized women?
Mod 80
If its such a great question what’s the answer? 😉 (I won’t ask you to reveal the user IDs)
Well yesterday I had Benny Friedman’s Ltav Ovid playing through my mind. I often hhave Matisyahus One day song in my head. In my opinion one of the best songs in a long time.
BPT
Todays kids have “big Hasagos” I don’t know the % but there are girls that go on midwinter trips to Florida, or skiing tripps or whatever. If you plan a multi day trip its going to cost money and a lot more than $100 per person !!!
My question is were any of the Mods regular members posting on the forum before becoming Mods?
haifagirl
It takes a lot to do permanent damage to the chords, more like daily abuse…an occasional scratchy note here and there will not cause any damage.
haifagirl
Yeah sometimes they strain, but I think thats mostly live and its because they are nervous. On CDs you dont often hear strain.
Homeowner
Its possible there was a committee in the story I didnt get every exact detail down to memory. Thanks for the correction.
Moderator-80
You guys are great. Keep up the great work. Although I do agree it would be helpful to get a grip on the hours around here so we know when to expect our comments not to show up for 1-3 hours.
Moderator-80
I heard the training to be a mod is extremely rigorous.
Homeowner
Maybe I got a few details wrong, but that was the bottom line of the story and how it happened. Im not so familiar with how law firm hiring works so maybe you can fill me in.
Ill have to ask my boss what he thinks.
ramateshkolian
You want someone to burn their house down for the sake of a Chanuka game?!
Feif Un
If you are talking to me with “So basically, you think everyone should always follow the more machmir shitah”
then I would respond that a person should go with the Roiv or mainstream Shita. A heter is usually a das yachid or a few yeschidim and usually those shitos themselves will always add disclaimers like its best to be machmir but bshas hadchak….
Lets face it, in most situations the Heters we look for are just to make life a little more convenient. Its nothing really necessary. Im not talking about a case where you already did something and now need a Heter to make it ok. But Lchatchila to look for Heterim on things as your mahalach in Yiddishkiet, thats bad news.
blueberrymuffin
A Harry is usually a term for someone who isnt “with the program” his mode of dress, and the way he acts and the things he says are just off. Its often referring to a modern guy who became Yeshivish but didnt make the transition “smoothly.” Or to a Yeshivish guy from out of town who hasnt properly made the transition to typical Yeshivish. For example its a harry thing for a guy to walk around with a backpack or napsack or certain types of hats…
Lets make it pashut…
Greasy usually means the guys skin or hair is greasy and oily, which is usually because of lack of showering. Usually an ultra masmid yeshivish guy who has “no time” to shower will get the term greasy. He will look like and probably smell like he hasnt showered in a number of days. He will look spaced out and probably will be lost in thought thinking about some Reb Baruch Ber on a shvere sugya….
His English will be mostly Yeshivishe Shprach with a few mispronounced English words thrown in for good measure. He may have poor posture and stand hunched over.