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BP Totty
Yes well said. I think the way I would put it is, dont look for a Heter Lchatchila if you can go without the Heter. Heterim should be only after the fact when you either spent the money and cant return it or sell it without a big loss of money (especially on something expensive)…or if you did something and then found out it could be assur then you need a Heter. Looking for a Heter to do something which one can easily go without is Heter shopping and certainly not the proper way a Yorei Shomayim conducts himself.
Not as well informed as WIY
I take it as a compliment but I changed my name to WIY because I realized it was excessively forward to call myself Well Informed even if I think I am, when there are others here who are probably more well informed than I am at least in some subjects.
Cantoresq
You clearly have a skewed concept of Chassidim and Chassidism. Have you actually researched Chassidism?
Every minhag of Chassidim started from the Rebbes of the individual sects. They are all based on various Halachic or Kabbalistic reasons.
No they didn’t just “borrow” things from the non Jews as the essence of Chassidism is to be different than the non Jews and be as distant from them as possible. You may want to either read some accurate books on Chassidism or speak to a knowledgeable authority on the subject instead of spewing stupidity and bias.
Tzippi
One can get a Heter for almost anything, the question is when is it appropriate to ask for one. No offense to BPT but to buy a bottle of bourbon is a pathetic situation to go “Heter hunting” when there are other fine bottles he could have bought which he did at the end.
PointTzippi
Good point. Its an essential understanding to what Lo Sachmod means.
depends on the boy/girl but I would say for a girl no younger than 18 unless she is extremely mature and you know she wont be talking and texting while driving… For a boy I would say not before 19 or 20 and only if you know that he is not going to speed or be busy phoning and texting while driving. If he is a bit wild wait until he is 21.
amichai
Its a Cheftza shel mitzvah that you use 2x a Shabbos as well as every Yom Tov!
If people find an excuse to pay $70,000 for a car when a $28,000 one would more than suffice than they certainly should be willing to spend $12,000 on a mitzvah.
Should I mention the fact that there are families that spend $100,000,- $1,000,000 I personally know of a wedding where the flowers cost $100,000. $100,000!!!!! .If we can splurge like that for a wedding when a person can easily have a beautiful wedding for $40,000 we better be prepared to splurge like that for our mitzvos as well!!!
popa_bar_abba
Actually its not only hilarious but ridiculous. The shidduch velt is full of terms that people throw around and most people dont use them correctly and everyone thinks it means something else which is probably something that leads to a lot of no shaychis people dating each other.
I think my most recent definition is a possible definition to what MY is. Although now that I think about it the term Modern is a bit of a broad term and can extend quite a distance (to the right) from Yeshivish.
1. I can see it meaning a Yeshivish guy who has good Hashkafos and all that but maybe he will wear colored shirts here and there or has a college degree (from Touro).
2. Although it can also be a Yeshivish guy who “dresses very trendy and fashionable” and is very “worldy” but never went to college but he isnt the biggest learner but he learns part of the day decently and he wears a white shirt and is in a good Yeshivah so he is considered “Yeshivish.”
3. But then I can also see it being a more extreme version of 2 where the guy lives a total lie and he misses seder almost all the time and is never to be found in the “Bais” and he is busy with TV Movies, novels, and hangs out wherever by day and by night. But still wears a white shirt and therefore tries to pass himself off as Yeshivish and only his good friends know that he is a totally empty shell, everyone else thinks hes just not that into learning but he is an otherwise good Bachur.
Now I have another question. Is there a difference between Modern Yeshivish and Yeshivish Modern? Do they mean the same thing or is there a difference? Meaning whats the focus, the Modern or the Yeshivish? Does the order change what the focus is and what it means?
Popa what do you think?
cb1
I know lessons are expensive, I have taken some lessons over the years. It only pays off if you practice a lot and practice correctly.
I am thinking of maybe picking it up again. I have the name of a top guy but hes extremely expensive and its a shlep as hes not local. If I had someone tops in Brooklyn I would maybe go.
Can I ask you if you are taking lessons by a frum Jew or by a non Jew?
Is it in Boro Park/Flatbush or Manhattan or elsewhere?
What are they charging you and how long are the sessions?
Thanks!!!
jewish source
I dont know your age or how much you lost and I feel very bad for you even if it was only a small amount. However a number of years back I had a similar story where I did something foolish like you did and sent money to some Chinese scam artists. It was a significant amount of money to me and it hurt bad. Looking back, it was a very valuable learning experience. It taught me that
1. China is full of scam artists which is a fact.
2. Anyone asking you to send money in a way where you have no way of retrieving it if something goes wrong is up to something wrong and it is highly likely he/she is a crook.
3. When doing business on the internet always do extensive research on the company, website…that you want to do business with. Be very wary if they are brand new and just opened and havent been around for a couple of years. If a company is a scam it is likely they scammed others and there will be info on the company that you can simply find by googling the company name and the word scam or ripoff…
4. If the price is too good to be true, it isnt true! Nobody is trying to make you rich or give you the deal of a lifetime. Know the going price range and if it is way below the going rate you are guaranteed it is counterfeit or you will never get the merchandise you are expecting.
Bottom line, you just earned your degree in online business the same way I did. Consider it an investment in common sense. You wont make the same mistake again, and if you do, well…then you are a naive fool who is asking to be fleeced.
amichai
“definitely a time of eis ratzon. supposed to be more important than the whole wedding.”
Hmm, and I always thought Chuppah Kiddushin and Yichud were the most important parts of the wedding….
Snapple
If someone wealthy enough to afford it buys it Lishmah for the sake of Chavivus Hamitzva, to beautify the Mitzvas Aseh of Kiddush (Friday night and Mitzvah Drobbanan by day) and to show his wife and children what money is really given to a Jew for, then not only is it not materialism it is a big mitzvah and beautiful Chinuchand he gets a lot of Schar for it.
Now even if he doesn’t buy it 100% Lishma it is still way better than blowing the money on a fancy watch or other mishegas. Its still a mitzvah albeit a smaller one than he could have gotten.
At the end of the day, the Becher stays in the house, he doesn’t buy it to show off to the public.
Mr or Mrs snapple, please stop being jealous of those who have more than you.
Any update on the rain situation?
TheChevra
Why do I bother trying to help people on this site? (Rhetorical question)
READ THIS!!!!!
http://www.kof-k.org/articles/040108110431W-28%20Lo%20Sichaneim.pdf
Cb1
I dont know who you are but all I could tell you is if you ever want to get anywhere near as good as Shwekey you need to take a lot of voice lessons at a top teacher and practice a lot!!!
jewish source
Did you call Western Union yet? What did they say?
Ramchas
Maccabi means Hammer al pi pashtus.
Heres all you want to know on the subject 🙂
http://www.kof-k.org/articles/040108110431W-28%20Lo%20Sichaneim.pdf
Call Western Union and see if they could put a stop to it. They may be able to put a stop on the money. Call them immediately.
Myfriend
Today if you have a beard they will likely call you Rabbi. I don’t have a beard and have been called Rabbi. It became a term that people use freely. Everyone is a Reb or a Rabbi today. It has lost its meaning. Today if someone is a real Rabbi they call him Rav…
Mandy
The story was said by a Rav in a shiur and told over to him either by the person it happened to or to someone who that person told it to.
This isn’t religious discrimination. A law firm can say they won’t hire someone if they have reason to doubt their integrity. Besides the guy was frum I doubt he wanted to make a stink out of it and let everyone know what a “proud” Jew he is.
You should ask your LOK (Local Orthodox Kabbalist)
frumladygit
First of all its better to call them “non-Jews” than to use the word you used.
Secondly, theres no problem sending them a gift, just include a handwritten card with a thank you….and sign off enjoy your holiday…
Kotzker Rebbe – The Miracle Of Chanuka, From Technically Kosher To Clearly Treif
The Halacha is that “Tumah Hutra B’Tzibur”, when performing an avodah that is for the entire nation, Tumah does not Pasul it. If so why on Chanukah did we need the Nes that the oil should last 8 days. They could have used oil that was Tamei since lighting the Menorah is Avodas Tzibur?
It is said in the name of the Kotzker that while Tumah does not affect the Tzibur under normal circumstances, by Chanukah since this was a new beginning a rededication of the Bais HaMikdash it needed to be perfectly pure without any shred of tumah no matter how kosher it is. This concept is so powerful that Hashem deemed it appropriate to perform a Nes.
This lesson is especially appropriate for Chanukah. The war waged by the Chashmonaim was for the soul of Am Yisroel. While they had sunk to the depths of Chilul Shabbos and no Bris Milah, it didn’t start there. It started with very subtle inclusions of Greek culture into the Jewish lifestyle. After years of debate among the different segments of the population whether these minor inclusions were harmful or not, the culture gradually seeped in with devastating results. This is the lesson of Chanukah. Keep the oil pure even if the alternative is technically 100% kosher. Technically Kosher today leads to clearly Treif tomorrow.
From Revach.net
Does the joke have to be about the French or does the joke have to be in French?
mandy
Its a true story. Besides you really think some recent graduate shnuck trying to get a job would go to the trouble of taking a senior partner of a prestigious law firm to court? If he loses which he likely will he will be in such debt and never get hired by anyone!
I think I have a really accurate definition.
Modern Yeshivish: Someone who grew up Yeshivish (went to Yeshivish Yeshivos…) and comes from a Yeshivish home, yet doesnt dress and act Yeshivish and thinks they are fooling everybody that they are Yeshivish but are really only fooling themselves and everybody knows they are full of it.
FrummyMcFrum
Next time put these things in the joke section. For a minute I actually thought I was going to read a thread about someone who genuinely needs help…
so right
It depends on where he got the Semicha, or rather from whom. I know people who have Semicha who I wouldnt ask any Shaila to…
Moderator-80
Dont be so sullen. Lighten up 🙂
Maybe little boys can be sullen, but men in general…?
Popa
What are you saying? ??????? is bathroom in Hebrew. If I wanted a Beis Hakisei I would hope he would point me to a ???????!
Moderator-80
I dont think men are moodier than women. That cant be true as a rule.You probably have a very upbeat wife and thats fantastic, (and you probably are a good husband and dont give her too much reason to get upset) but as a rule women have mood swings no?
Eclicpse
Oder yu oder nein. There is a tendency by a significant # of women to be “hard to please” or “moody.” This leads to unnecessary broodiness and nagging. Personally I think its a female tendency to project their inner problems or feelings onto others or specifically those around them. Like if she is upset about something, or just feels down about herself she will lash out at her husband even though he is innocent…
Additionally there are women who just have unrealistic expectations. If your husband comes home wiped at the end of a day, don’t bore him to death with stupidities, yes he loves you but he dealt with stupid annoying people all day, if you act annoying its hard not to equate you with the people he has to deal with all day and emotionally shut down.
Another point, many women don’t realize that men need love and affection, they think its only a womans need. Maybe men are supposed to be tough and rugged but that’s not the case these days and if you don’t give your man what he needs emotionally as well as physically he can’t and won’t be a happy camper. You don’t get the male psyche. You put a man down or insult his ego he’s not going to forgive you very quickly because we care about our egos and our “image” very much.
Married men, can I have some testimony to the validity of my comments?
Thanks for posting will check it out Bli Neder.
Cb1
On the odd chance that you are serious please become a singer. We need more talent like Shwekey and less of some other singers I won’t publicly mention!
HaLeivi
I clean up my toys. I learned the hard way. My mother used to warn me she would throw out anything I didn’t put away (and not replace it). I at first made the mistake of thinking she was kidiing…;-)
Real Brisker
Basically I agree with you 100%. When speaking to immigrants I avoid using “big” words and I try to keep my sentences short. They get lost if you use too many words are words they may not know.
When I talk to Chassidim I guage their level of English and base my speech on that. What good is it to use words the other person won’t understand? That’s not communicating.
real-brisker
Well lets see if the Mods answer her question….
eclipse
Thank you for furthering my point. Compliment people on what is really complimentary about them 🙂