Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
quark2
Would you eat a sandwich that is made up of kosher meat but ALSO has a slice of ham in it, but you aren’t interested in the ham, you pay no attention to it, but it just happens to be in the sandwich which you are eating?
(Its not a perfect analogy, because the movie can be assur and is not Kosher even if there is no nudity or no women in it at all)
adorable
“every time I think I can trust myself I fail. so frustrating”
That is the reason why we Daven every morning that Hashem should protect us from nisyonos, (Velo Liday Nisayon…)
Also, it is advisable that in an area that you know you have a problem, you must put up syagim, fences. For example a food addict who has serious issues with food should NOT walk in to Walmart or some other supermarket and an addicted gambler shouldnt walk into a casino.
Moderator-80
You are welcome 80 😉
Quark2
The love in the movies is fake. That’s not love, that’s called LUST. If you don’t know what it means look it up. Hollywood tries to brainwash people into their ideas of what the ideal man and woman is and what the ideal marriage and life is. Remember, every time you watch a movie you submit yourself to 2 hours or more of Hollywood brainwashing or should I say brain dirtying!
613nisim
This guy can actually get away with an insanity plea…
How about no texting this Shabbos?
My gosh!!!!!
Don’t you guys get it? The kids have no feeling for Shabbos. They are bored and dread Shabbos, that means they have NO CLUE what Shabbos is, what its all about and what its for. Likely that stems from the parent having no feelings for Shabbos. If Shabbos is just a day off, a day to take it easy relax schmooze with your buddies, fress and sleep and get drunk for some (kiddish clubs) then Shabbos has no Kedusha and if it has no Kedusha your kids will take it to the next step and be mechallel Shabbos.
Kapusta
You can check out my thread
Quarks
It seems like you came here to “stir the pot.” Hopefully you will get bored of that soon…
zahavasdad
“There are plenty of people especially in the summer with the long days who just need some activity.
Is it better to play Basketball , hang out with members of the opposite gender or Text on Shabbos. While it might be admirable to say neither and one should learn, Its just not happening for many (Kids are voting with their actions )
I have seen very few real solutions to help teens pass the time on Shabbos that is both fun and meaningful for most.”
What did people do before cellphones? I know when I was a teen I never dreamed of being Mechalel Shabbos even though I was no angel!
Kids today just keep pushing the envelope. Why do kids have to have cell phones?! Why are they given Iphones and Ipod touches and Ipads?!
Bottom line, if parents dont “parent” your kids will fall through the cracks. Dont put these devices in your kids hands or you will regret it guaranteed.
Quark2
As someone in his upper 20s who quit watching movies, I can attest that the are all full of filth and dvarim assurim.
Nudity in rated R films and sometimes in pg13
Foul language, cursing…
Talk about sex, drugs and other inappropriate topics
Violence and brutality
Non Jewish music
Introduction of themes that promote non Jewish ways of life, promote crime, drug uuseviolence… (ways of life that most adult mature non Jews would agree are bad and immoral…)
Chein
I hope and wish you could be right but not so sure that you are realistic, we have an issue with kids texting on Shabbos you really think most kids never watched a movie?
Quark 2
Satmar in your eyes is equal to the requirement to be an authentic frum Torah Yid? We must live by the Torah, we don’t do what we want or what we feel like. Unlike the nations, we have clear instructions from Hashem on how to live. Our problems stem from us not living according to the dictates of the Torah. We are not like the other nations and we can’t live like them. Their entertainment is NOT our entertainment. What they pursue and value are not our pursuits and values.
Jewishness
“It seems to me that the study of ethics can remedy in part a issues. There needs to be an upward thrust of fear of Heave May G-d protect his people.”
Please see the thread I started
happiest
“I felt like I had no connection to reality and to the outside world. Checking my messages one time every shabbos helped me a lot. “
Im not judging you chas veshalom, but this is a fundamental mistake that people make. The “outside world” is NOT reality. The world of technology and business and all that….its not reality for a Jew, its a DISTRACTION from reality.
Reality is spirituality, reality is being alive, feeling alive, which comes from being connected to Torah and being connected to Hashem.
Gashmiyus only gives temporary enjoyment or allows us temporarily to get lost and forget that we have a soul.
The road to true happiness is getting in touch with your inner self and connecting to Hashem. Gashmiyus blocks all of that and one can never get to Hashem if he/she is steeped in Gashmiyus and his/her entire enjoyment in life is his gashmiyus and whatever his/her money can buy him/her.
zahavasdad
“By that standard walking the streets of NYC in summer is halachily assue, Almost everyone dresses Untzniut.”
True, one has to watch his eyes at all times, but in the street, one has no choice, he has to be there but even in the street one can be very careful and look downwards and not see anything untzniusdig. Watching a movie is willingly looking watching and listening to things that are assur and kenneged the Torah way of life. No hetter whatsoever.
Adorable
He is there to help and if you have a genuine problem that he can help you with, then that’s what he does, he makes himself available for people who need his help. Trust me, I know that there are plenty of people that have taken up his time on unimportant matters. If your issue is real then don’t worry, he will be glad to talk to you and he will not see you as a burden. He’s just hard to reach don’t see that as a reason to give up.
Josh31
It doesn’t work that way. Halacha dictates what is a risk and there is a clear process of determining risk. Theres a big difference between inconvenience and risk. When in genuine doubt if something is a risk ask a qualified Orthodox ordained Rabbi.
p.s. Crossing the street is a risk so I advise you not to do so and Im sure you would never drive a car as that is risky, as well as flying in a plane, or even eating non pureed food, you might choke…
As you so wisely said, “If there is the slightest risk we even defer the most stringent positive commandments”
mommamia22
I am a male and I wear cotton Tzitzis and I know first hand that the amount of heat it contributes is negligible. Its very thin. Frankly its hard to take someone seriously when they suggest that a pair of cotton tzitzis caused their son to have heat stroke, or overheat, especially when the most likely reasons are much more major factors like not drinking enough water, lack of nutrients (kids tend to skip meals or eat junk food and drink soda and other junk) or being out too long, or overexerting himself outdoors by playing too much ball…
Sorry not trying to knock you but you have to realize what it sounds like to suggest that the cotton Tzitzis is the cause.
mommamia22
Before jumping to conclusions that its the Tzitzis, maybe the boy wasn’t drinking enough water, isn’t eating nutritiously, is staying out in the sun way too long…it really is ridiculous how people look for excuses not to do mitzvos. Its like me saying I have a headache maybe its my Yarmulke? Maybe I should stop wearing a Yarmulke?
Mommamia22
Forgive my bluntness but your emotions are clouding your judgment. If you can’t handle being friends with her there’s no way you can handle being there for her in a crisis which requires a greater intimacy than regular friendship requires. I don’t think this is a good move. Please talk this over with someone older and more removed from the situation and see what they think. This can be very messy for you.
Basket…
It sounds like you are really bothered by the fact that there are very few Torah influences in your community. Well maybe there are people who can do something about that if we knew which community you were talking about. Listen I live in Boro Park so its hard to know what its like to live in such a place but if we knew where you lived and if you think that the community would be interested in some Kiruv work done there maybe something can happen if we knew where you are talking about.
always runs with scissors fast
Extremism is very dangerous…like running fast with scissors in hand 🙂
The Mishna is Avos said over 2000 years ago that everyone should have a Rav for guidance. All the more so a BT who needs even more guidance as he/she doesn’t have the Torah upbringing and background that a typical FFB has. I can’t stress this enough. You should really find a Rebbetzin who you can click with. She doesn’t have to be chassidish, she just has to be someone who has a sympathetic ear and can understand you and give guidance when necessary.
Something I personally have found very rewarding is to listen to shiurim online on the various Torah topics that interest me. Please check out Torahanytime.com Im sure you will find many Ravs and Rebbetzins there to be very entertaining as well as spiritually nourishing and uplifting.
As I said, Im an FFB but with that being said, due to some mistakes I made many years ago, I find I need constant reinforcement and must constantly keep my head in my Yiddishkiet to feel fulfilled. Im sure as a BT you have a similar need for spiritual nourishment. Hatzlacha with everything and I wish upon you that Hashem grant you clarity and menuchas Hanefesh so that you may constantly grow in your connection to Him and be zoche to actualize the true expression of your innermost being.
adorable
You are welcome. If you think he can help you and he told you to call then leave a message. He will be glad to talk to you, he doesn’t always answer on the first try. I had the same experience a while back, but don’t stop trying to get through and you can’t lose from leaving a message. Make sure you reference your email in the message so he knows who you are.
Hatzlacha!
basket of radishes
Why don’t you ask your Rabbi before making such a decision?
P.S. If the chassidim can go dressed up the way they do here in Boro park in 104 F heat then you can wear a pair of cotton Tzitzis!
Derech HaMelech
I find myself agreeing with you often. There is no Inyan to cause oneself distress. We have a Torah which tells us how to live. Hashem doesn’t want us to make up our own commandments and devise imaginative ways to serve him.
“I stoppped dreaming about the sculptures I’d make, or the tapestries I’d embroider.”
Im an FFB and I never heard of the commandment “Thou shalt not make tapestries or sculptures” yes there are certain sculptures which may be a halachic problem, so find out which ones are permissible.
And what’s this business of not riding in the front seat? Being a BT doesn’t mean you should be an extremist. Hashem wants normal healthy Jews who keep the Shulchon Aruch. Don’t make up crazy chumros that will make you miserable.
Im baffled that people prefer to ask anonymous people as opposed to asking a Rav their Shailos. We are not Rabbonim and we have no right to Pasken any Shailos for you, yes we can tell you something that we have a source for in the Mishna Berura…but any real shaila must be asked to a LOR. For those who don’t have one it is highly recommended to get one asap!
Usi inflCharlie
We are referring to contemporary pop music which one can hear on any fm station. Todays non Jewish music is made with one intention and one intention only…
Momma…
Don’t allow yourself to be guilted into helping her. She obviously has serious issues and unless you are a trained psychologist you are in no position to help her, she will just bring you down into her misery.
I would say most frum Jews give up many things on a daily basis to be frum. We give up hours of our time to Tefillah and Torah and chessed, we give of our money…
Alwaysruns…
Im going to keep it brief please forgive that.
Firstly you have to realize that most BT’s stick out and it takes them a very long time to properly integrate. That is in a non chassidish circle. In chassidish circles its much harder because chassidim are very clicks in a way that is each chassidus has an “us vs them attitude” “we are stamar” “they are bobov….”
Chassidim are harder to integrate with because you also have to learn the language. If you don’t look and sound 100% chassidish you stand out. Its the same way that an American stands out in Eretz Yisroel. Israelis can sniff us out from a mile away even before we attempt to mangle the Hebrew language…:-)
Honestly, if you want to fit in, you have to play by their rules. It goes that way with any society and group. Nonconformists stand out…
Another point is, just because you are a BT doesn’t mean you have to dump your past. There are many BT’s who have used their past to better Jewish life like Rabbis and teachers who have advanced degrees in education and other areas…
If you like art and have a talent for painting pursue that. Hashem gave us talents to use to reach our potential and to find happiness and fulfillment in life. Every skill can be used in a positive way in a Kosher way.
Personally, I think what’s most important for a person to be healthy is to seek self actualization by pursuing that which makes them happy and that which they have a passion for. Stop living to please others. They arent worth it. Your emotional health is most important for yourself your husband and your kids. Trust me, you will be miserable if your focus on pleasing other people. People will respect you for living a life that’s true to yourself regardless of what others think. It takes courage to be that way, but it takes courage to be a BT so tap into that courage and use that for finding fulfillment in actualizing your abilities.
zahavasdad
“The local Rabbanim in my neighborhood took makus on themselves for not doing enough about abuse.”
I think they should allow those who were abused to give the malkus….
40 Days To Rectify The Aveira Of Meraglim
Today Am Yisroel is in danger all over the world. The Gemara in Shabbos (33a) says, “Because of Nivul Peh there are many troubles and bad decrees are enacted. Young men die and orphans and widows cries go unanswered.” Rav Chaim Kanievsky has said that Nivul Peh includes rechilus, loshon hora, and cursing others.
From Revach.net
charliehall
There are many examples. Think of some of the old niggunim. For example any of Yossele Rosenblatts songs or any of the old chassidish songs like Koh Echsof…
Songs that are spiritual and bring one closer to Hashem.
adorable
Rabbi Wallerstein is an EXTREMELY busy Rabbi who dedicates an unbelievable amount of time and energy to suffering young people. If you have somethingto discuss with him that you think only he can help you with I would say you should email him and mention that in the email and ask if he feels you should call him and when you should call. If your intent to call him is just to talk to him because he is “Rabbi Wallerstein” that’s unfair to him and he doesn’t like being thought of as a celebrity. He’s there to help those who need it.
Adorable
I agree I think he had a mosherose moment lol
Iusebrains
Amazing idea, I wish you much Hatzlacha. It will be tough to implement because goyish songs and styles have so permeated the Jewish music industry that I don’t see how it will ever get out. However if you try your best to make sure that none of the non Jewish songs are used at the minimum like some famous ones used at almost every simcha from various Zonohs like “lady” gaga and other trash…you will certainly have Hatzlacha and Hashem will be will you. I also think you will have many Gedolim on your side who will gladly recommend you to their talmidim so make sure to get your name out amongst all the Roshei Yeshivas.
Sarah
I must mention that Rabbi Lefts book is only on the Shemoneh Esra but it is truly the most thorough book I have ever seen on the Shemoneh Esrei. Very profound if you really want that its for you.
Derek HaMelech
So what is three, four and three syllables like the one presented here by Ken Zayn?
A Teiku 🙂
sarahbarah2
Rabbi Zev Leff has an amazing book on Tefillah that came out not too long ago. It is very thorough.
2qwerty
YW. Just stating my opinion.
observanteen
You are welcome, I wish you much Hatzlacha.
observanteen
This is an important issue and unfortunately I know stories of young girls not much older than her that lost their innocence. I think you should speak to someone experienced for guidance with this matter.
Considering that this girl made you aware of the situation and keeps bringing it up I think its a sign from Shomayim giving you an opportunity to get involved in this and possibly saving her future.
How much are you responsible to do? I have no idea and Im not qualified to answer, but I think that you must do something (more than just asking our opinion).
I personally think that if one starts a thread asking for help they should respond to particular replies that they find relevant and helpful.
Droid
I heard from a # of Rabbanim that the mishnah is no longer applicable to most people bizman hazel as this mishnah is an “ideal” and most people today don’t fit that requirement. However from what I understand there are still many chassidim who get married in that age range and have good marriages, however in the non chassidish velt its just not as practical
Do you mean stories about our grandmothers?
In the old days a man was mature enough for marriage at 18. Today the age has moved up to about low to mid 20’s for the men. Although there are exceptions and some guys are ready at a younger age and some may not be ready until they are high 20’s or even 30’s as maturity is not dependent on age.
Observanteen
I think the best move would be to find either a head staff member or one of the morahs or mechanecheses or whatever they are called in these camps and explain the situation. I would recommend speaking to one who you think is openminded and understanding and will not try to get the kid kicked out of camp and will also be able to talk to the kid and maybe explain what’s wrong about what she is doing. The person you speak to must have a good understanding of Chinuch and be able to understand the kid and where she is coming from…
That’s what I recommend. If you don’t think there is anyone in camp who can help her then contact someone from out of camp like Rabbi Wallerstein…
Hatzlacha Rabbah with this situation. I respect that you care enough to want to do something about this and I hope you will be Matzliach in saving this girl from messing up her life.