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Popa
Actually for me Maariv felt like tonight was Yom Tov and there would be a third day tomorrow.
Lots of couples see stars after marriage: she throws things at him, he sees stars.
I honestly dont believe the Berditchever had to come back to this world.
Popa
“They don’t care; they don’t even live here anymore.”
Well if they do care then you were using aravos gezuloh. The entire set has to be Lachem.
I think its important to know if one is speaking to a male or a female and besides, there are some people who may be makpid to not even talk online in such a forum to women so if you (or any other member) are a woman pretending to be a man or vice versa you are causing people a michshol. Additionally, I don’t believe it is Halachically ok to lie to people for fun or whatever you want to call it.
You are a female? I always thought you were a male.
popa
You are a Rabbi with female friends?
Interjection
In non chassidic dating where there are 6 or more dates before engagement and usually dates are 3 hours minimum sometimes 4-5 hours a certain level of “comfort” should be established. If that isnt happening then theres no chemistry and that can be a very strong indication to look elsewhere. Yes, like you said above the goals and values must be in sync but thats not enough to get engaged on. The personalities have to click.
Interjection
Its just a way of communicating that we understand each other its guy talk. Im sure girls have their own version. I am sorry if it offended you. I have no problem if the mods remove it but I am not asking them to and I dont know if they will anyways.
Menucha
Very hard not to when you hardly see any Muslims speak out and condemn terror attacks.
There are 1.5 or so Billion Muslims, how many have denounced terror and how many are truly bothered, sickened and disgusted when they hear that Jews or “infidels” were butchered?
I do agree that not all Muslims are radical but too many are and even those that arent, if you dont condemn it then you approve of it and you deserve to go down with the ship.
Theres always last minute stuff to do…
Popa
Thats a lot of “uneshalma parim sfaseinu!”
Loving the scholarly debate keep it coming.
blackhatwannabe
If you intend to eat it should be in a Succah or there should be one you can use for the eating segment of the date.
frummy
So its fermy in the termy? Or I lost you someplace?
interjection
Thats not locker room talk. You should know that most guys (over 99% lol) care very much about the way their date, kallah, wife looks and a guy shouldnt have to feel bad for wanting an attractive girl and for wanting his kallah/wife to dress well. The way some girls look on dates is a chiddush they get a date in the first place. Make an effort my gosh! Dont you know anything about how guys work?!
Oh and for the record many girls are this way as well. How many guys get “dumped” because they dont look so “put together” or because they are too short or too tall or some other feature the guy doesnt like. Lets admit it we all like someone who is attractive to “us” regardless of how others may perceive them and theres no problem with it.
I have no rachmanus on someone who doesnt bother trying to look good for a date. You are going on the most important job interview of your life, try to play the part!
dafbiyun
Smoking in general is an issur deoraysoh. Its a chillul Hashem that you see young yeshiva bochurim both chassidish and non chassidish smoking.
Why hasnt my post posted? Do I not have freedom of speech here?
wii like nintendo wii lol.
More 2
If you heard reliably that the guy has a history AND HAS NOT CHANGED or is still very shaky and can easily fall back into his past then you have an obligation to get involved, however the best way to do so would be to first confirm the info and ask a Rabbi how to go about it. You dont want to be the one to do it alone without guidance.
I personally know of a very good frum girl who was redt such a guy. While they were already dating the family had some people make phone calls and they heard some really bad stuff about the guy. Baruch Hashem we were able to save her.
She stopped dating him and a short while later he got engaged to some girl and within a few weeks she divorced him. The guy was just bad news he wasnt able to grow up and put his bad stuff behind him.
So in essence I do believe someone with a past can marry someone who had no past but that is only if his or her past is totally bygones and not current or likely to come back into his life.
I know of other stories where the guy was on drugs in the past, got off drugs, promised to not use again, got married to a great girl and then bang started with the drugs again.
Unfortunately you cant be too careful these days. If you hear that he or she had a past do extremely thorough research to save yourself, your friend, or relative from a horror story.
Well the Islamists want our bodies (dead) and the Christian Fundamentalists want us to be be slaughtered and converted and bring on the second coming of you know who. Then you have the Evangelicals who missionize and attempt to rob us of our souls and make us Christians. They are both evil. The difference is that the Islamists have no problem slaughtering us, and for the time being it isnt in vogue for Christians to kill Jews so they will have none of that.
shein
As if in shidduchim nobody talks about looks and how the guy/girl dresses.
Quite a story. Hatzlacha and may you no longer need food stamps!
Good thread idea. Thanks mods and a gut gebenched yuhr to all mods and the coffee room gang.
I would like to ask Mechila of anyone I have insulted or hurt in any way. Please be mochel me. I am mochel bleiv shaleim everyone here.
Have a gmar chasima tova!
Its both.
Sam
I already explained to you that an eved kenani is different. They have mila, tevilah and are chayyiv in some mitzvos knashim. I dont think halacha or kabalah equates a non Jew with an eved kenani so we have no precedent.
Sam
It is very common to have things that al pi halacha is mutar but al pi nistar it should be avoided. I dont think that nistar is saying assur just saying strongly that one should avoid it. Thats not a stira. A stira would be if shulchon aruch says flat out that a non Jew may be in the succah and nistar says no he may not be. However in our case halacha didnt say one way or the other so taking on the nistar aspect is recommended when possible.
I just want to clarify that I am not racist or bigoted in any way and I make sure to treat non Jews with respect as human beings however I do recognize that “ata vechartanu mikal hoamim, ahavta osanu veratzisa vonu veromamtanu mikol halshonos vekidashtonu…”
Rav Chaim Shlita never said what is being quoted in his name. Stay tuned for the update on YWN tomorrow.
popa
😉
Toi if you are going to tell such an offensive joke let it at least be funny.
Sam2
There are things that shouldnt be done because they dont conform to the letter of the law, other things because they dont conform to the spirit of the law. There are things that shouldnt be done due to sensitivity to the spirit of the law.
I dont know why you shake off “inyanim” “chassidus” and kaballa. Halacha is the nigleh of kaballah. Whether you like it or not when we wave a lulav and esrog it keeps away the bad ruchois. That is a fact that isnt halachic but you must know that the halacha is just the outside but theres a lot more going on than what meets the eye. Maybe take the time to learn some nistar and get in touch with pnimius hatorah.
Does anyone have an update?
Oom
What do you mean about female motivation?
The Goq
Aloof usually = never opened a shulchon aruch or bothered to learn Halachos pertaining to business and honesty.
Some people are very makpid about other areas of Torah but when it comes to business they have their own Torah they follow. People have to realize that we are obligated to keep the laws of the land. Dina dmalchusa dina.
Interjection
Not true at all. Boys have more mitzvos and obligations. We have a chiyuv to learn Torah and to be a good boy a boy has to excell at his mitzvos as well as his learning at the same time not give in to all the yetzer horas that pull at us. A girl has to dress and act w tznius and also not be into movies. Women do not have the yetzer hora boys have for the opposite gender. You will never understand even if I wrote you 10 pages worth. The yetzer works much harder on a boy in all areas and especially in that as well as in the area of bittul Torah. It is brought down in sefarim that girls are born on a higher level or more perfected level and therefore are closer to Hashem and more spiritual by nature also girls usually dont have an ego problem as many men do which makes it difficult to submit to another and do what someone else (meaning Hashem) tells us.
One example of the differences between boys and girls is that it is very easy for many girls to Daven with kavannah and emotion and to even cry by Davening and feel close to Hashem (unless they did a whole bunch of things which puts up a blockage.) For men such a thing takes a LOT of work to be able to get emotional and feel Davening.
Ok I may be all over the place here and not so coherent but bottom line it really is a lot harder to be a good boy. Im not saying there arent challenges for girls. Im sure there are, but since less is obligated of you the challenge must be less and the Yetzer hora doesnt have that much to bug girls about. If a girl doesnt actively look for trouble trouble wont usually find her. By a boy the yetzer hora is constantly harassing us to do or not do various things.
Iced
We may in essence and potential be better in that we have a Neshama and they dont so we come from a higher place from under the kisei hakavod and we have a greater mission in life and all that…but that doesnt mean in practice that every Jew is better than every non Jew. There are many non Jews who keep the 7 Noahide laws and many Jews which are OTD and dont keep the Torah so the non Jews who do what they are supposed to do are better than the Jews not doing what they are supposed to do. This is an important distinction. There are and have been plenty of Jews that are very bad evil cruel people that have murdered molested robbed and done other terrible things and they are worse than a non Jew. It is easier, way easier to be a good non Jew than to be a good Jew.
Sam
Do did you ever hear about the “Ushpizin”? Do you say the Tefillah in the machzor about the Ushpizin? Do you believe that the Avos come visit us in our Succah? Do you think a goy “belongs” there?
Furthermore, Rabban Gamliels eved was an eved knani and is chayyiv in mitzvos (like an isha) and has a bris milah and his eved was a talmud chacham, dont compare an eved knani especially Rabban Gamliels eved to a stam non Jew, I think you are more learned than that!!!
One of the pettiest threads I have ever read. Just saying.
Sam2
There are many people who are makpid on kabbalahdik “inyanim” especially those with a chassidish background.
Sam2
Due to the extreme holiness of the Sukkah, it is proper not to invite non-Jews to enter the Sukkah. (See Shach Al HaTorah Parshas Emor and Kaf HaChaim Siman 639:6)
From Halachafortoday
This is not a halachic issue but more an inyan, however strictly al pi halacha it is mutar.
iced
Some people dont eat vinegar, some dont eat horseradish and some dont eat either of them. These are minhagim and everyone should do as is their family minhag. Live and let live.
akuperma
Nobody says they didnt have challenges, but we have much stronger spiritual challenges. I have heard that Rav Mattisyahu Salamon Shlita thanks Hashem every day that he wasnt born to be a teenager in this generation. The nisyonos today are very powerful and all over the place and unfortunately many people are not coping well.
iced
I asked a Rabbi about this one, he said rather say it slowly and with kavanah and not finish each piyut, than to rush to say it all without kavanah. When they say Kel Melech, wherever you are holding, say it with them. There’s no need to go back and make up what you missed.
yekke2
Cashews are nuts so one should avoid them on Rosh Hashanah.
sbeph
I saw in the Mishna Berura that with regard to saying along with shliach tzibbur during the year (not Yomim Noraim) is assur and it is yuhara (gaiva) I believe were his words. I assume this din should still apply by Yomim Noraim but I cant pasken.
bamorga
I remember seeing in a sefer that a non Jew shouldnt enter the succah as the succah is the “kanfei Hashechinos” and he doesnt belong there.
Additionally I heard in a shiur from Rav Moshe Meir Weiss that one should be very careful about this.