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Torah613
If you won’t be seeing any statues and crosses it may be ok but it still feels uchy you know what I mean? I wouldn’t do it but you aren’t me.
Chalilavchas
While I give him credit and I think he is extremely courageous for opening up the can of worms so that these molesters get prosecuted, he is no Tzadik Gammur. He goes about it in a very stupid negative way and he uses filthy language, and has things very mixed up. He paints with very broad strokes and has zero respect for Rabbanim. He did one good thing but I would not be able to respect him because of the way he talks about Rabbanim and his general attitude.
You can contrast him with lehavdil Rabbi Yanky Horowitz. Read their websites and you will see the difference.
I’m not saying Nuchem doesn’t have reason to be angry and all that but he is no Rabbi and I don’t like his mo at all. He can very easily get the job done with less rhetoric and may even find more people willing to help him and approach him.
One is not supposed to look at a cross. Certainly not willingly.
torah613613torah
Online I am sometimes lazy with my apostrophes. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use them.
torah613613torah
Youre Israeli arent you…
Torah613613Torah
How old are you if I may ask?
For a second I thought the title was debating websites.
Please ignore iced maybe then he will go away.
Zahavasdad
That’s not true! In the legal code book of Satmar ethics it is totally mutar! At least so it appears. Now I will be accused of being anti Satmar. I am not anti Satmar. At least what Satmar used to stand for. I am not pro the Satmar that aids and abets molesters, uses witness intimidation and and has apparently chashuv people who run schools wantonly and unhesitatingly perjuring themselves in a court of law. I don’t know what Satmar truly stands for anymore. The chessed they do is amazing however you can’t do chessed and then go molest someone or do chessed and then cover up for a molester. Hashem doesn’t need such baalei chesed.
Baal Habooze
Mine had a creme filling.
Its only ok if the girl is under 18 the younger the better, and that he makes sure to lock the door with at least one lock. Also therapy sessions must be a minimum of 3 hours with an option for a 14 hour car ride to who knows where thrown in for good measure. You want to make sure she REALLY gets better.
Oh and therapy licenses are TOTALLY OPTIONAL.
Frumnotyeshivish
I’m not sure where we are holding. What is your question at this point?
Iced
You are a troll who just keeps regurgitating the same stupidity. You don’t even want to hear anything resembling logic. On every thread you post on you have your mind made up based on your personal bias and whatever else you were fed by fools your whole life. You don’t want truth. You don’t even attempt to hear the other side or to respond logically to anyone who brings valid challenges to your assertions. You want to hold on stubbornly to all of your crooked beliefs.
Frum
” A) They know it is wrong generally, but think that their deity commanded it.”
They are guilty because they should have investigated more and had more education. Rav Dessler clearly says that one is responsible for anything that he could or should have learned. So basically if one changed their bechira point by making conscious bad choices or if he follows a bad path because he neglected to study and look into it more he is responsible. So basically Rav Desslers case of one not being responsible will be nearly impossible to find except by someone who is a prisoner or such where they have zero access to any other info.
Syag
You are welcome. I feel its so important that its worth reading at least twice :-p
Iced
From Revach.net
Rav Shloime Volbe: Don’t Hit Kids Above the Age of… 3
Rav Volbe writes in Sefer Zriah u’Binyan b’Chinuch that even though the Gemara says that it is forbidden to hit a kid who is over sixteen or according to another opinion 24 years old, according to the way things are in our times, he says, one who hits a kid that is only 3 years old transgresses li’Fnei Iver because the child, even at that age, will rebel against his father.
Once upon a time it was possible to hit a child without destroying the relationship between the father and the child, nowadays it is no longer possible. Hitting a child will always destroy the relationship between the parents and the child. The Sefer Minchas Shmuel says in the name of Rav Chaim Volozhin that harsh words do not penetrate or make any positive impact and a parent should only speak softly and with kindness. If in the times of Rav Chaim Volozhin this was the case, certainly it is true in our times and even more so with regards to children.
Times have changed. Rivka was suitable for marriage at age three. Our kids are old enough to rebel at age three.Rav Shloime Volbe: Don’t Hit Kids Above the Age of… 3
Rav Volbe writes in Sefer Zriah u’Binyan b’Chinuch that even though the Gemara says that it is forbidden to hit a kid who is over sixteen or according to another opinion 24 years old, according to the way things are in our times, he says, one who hits a kid that is only 3 years old transgresses li’Fnei Iver because the child, even at that age, will rebel against his father.
Once upon a time it was possible to hit a child without destroying the relationship between the father and the child, nowadays it is no longer possible. Hitting a child will always destroy the relationship between the parents and the child. The Sefer Minchas Shmuel says in the name of Rav Chaim Volozhin that harsh words do not penetrate or make any positive impact and a parent should only speak softly and with kindness. If in the times of Rav Chaim Volozhin this was the case, certainly it is true in our times and even more so with regards to children.
Times have changed. Rivka was suitable for marriage at age three. Our kids are old enough to rebel at age three.
I recommend everyone google the following and THEN come back to discuss if you still feel you have something valid to say.
Weberman trial: How do we know victim is telling truth?
Torah613
Would you say no to a guy if he doesn’t use apostrophes?
Shuychus
The light 🙂
Swimming
I have no words….
Ajewfrommonsey
I’m one of those weird people that can’t stand evil that’s why the anger. I can’t stand that we have Rabbonim and yeshivos that will shelter and cover up for molesters. These things really bother me. I Baruch Hashem was never molested but I was hit more than once by a Rebbe and horribly humiliated and I know what it means to be abused by an authority figure. Its not something you EVER forget. And its almost impossible to forgive them.
I cant remember one time in my life that I was hit by either a Rebbe or my parents that it made me love and respect them MORE.
zahavasdad
No but because most frum Jews are still in the dark ages and think stealing money is worse than molesting someone. Thats why!
torah613613torah
“If you really dislike it, don’t give it free advertising. And whatever you do, don’t ban it.”
If something hurts you you scream OUCH. The Rabbanim have an obligation to scream out when theres Tumah infecting our machaneh.
One of many
PIT is PARTNER IN TORAH google it.
Shuychis
Don’t get it.
Frumnotyeshivish
Rav Dessler was saying that from the perspective of bechira which is something that is between Hashem and man and no human knows or can know where any other persons bechira is holding so he may not be held responsible in Hashems eyes. However in a court of law both Beis Din or a non Jewish court there is an obligation to try him and punish him accordingly. Nobody can walk into beis din and say sorry, this was below my nekudas habechira.
Is sad that this is happening but lets take this as a lesson that the Rabbonim know more than we do and only made a ban for our good to protect us and our children. They saw almost 4 years ago already where he was headed. Unfortunately he is the type of guy that likes to push limits and I’m scared to see where he will be in 4 more years time.
Wolf
Its good to see that chivalry isn’t dead 🙂
Ah freilichen chanukah!
Farrocks
Really? Where’d you hear or see that?
The old popular one is very hard on the voice. Maybe its just me but every time I sing it I get out of breath and feel a bit strained.
frumnotyeshivish
Yes Im aware of that Rav Dessler. He may not have Bechira at this point but I believe the reason he is responsible for what he does now is for allowing his bechira to be taken away by making bad choices up to this point even though technically at this point he couldn’t control himself. Meaning, just like Paraohs bechira was taken away at some point I think after makah 5 so the meforshim ask how can he be punished, and they answer because the first 5 times he still had Bechira and chose not to do the right thing and not to accept what Moshe was saying bsheim Hashem.
I think what Rabbi Shafier means is that even if they were preached to from youth that you must kill “the infidel” internally we all know murder is bad. So if he chooses to kill and ruin his natural good conscience that Hashem gave him then he is responsible for that.
plonis
If you read iced’s the ops first comment “The biggest losers are the children who lose the vital affection from their teachers. Baruch Hashem there are still teachers unafraid to be a teacher and continue displaying all these forms of affection.”
He believes Rabbeim should still be allowed to touch children due to the possible slight benefit of such affection. Zahavasdad and I vehemently disagree and feel that no Rabbeim should be touching kids period. If we lived in a perfect world things would be different about a lot of things. However we live in a world that is very flawed and therefore we have way too many instances of Rabbeim, tutors and such physically and sexually abusing children.
Iced
I would love for you to tell me which Rebbe in this generation is on the lofty spiritual level that he has so conquered his anger that any hitting he will do will be totally Lishmah for the sake of correcting the child and bringing him closer to Hashem? Anything less than that is cruel, evil abuse that is assur and will turn the boy off from Hashem and a Torah way of life and make him look negatively at Rabbeim and any teachers of Torah.
fiddlesticks88
Baruch Hashem our population has boomed and there are many 100’s if not thousands of eligible girls that can be redt to the same pool of guys. A picture is one method of quickly cutting the numbers down. You dont understand, everyone is attracted to a particular look. I can have ten pictures of attractive girls and still only like the looks of one of them just like you can have ten pictures of boys and still only like the way one of them looks. There are just certain looks that appeal to us and there can be someone who others consider much better looking but to you this person is just not attractive to you. We all have a certain “brand” of looks we go for.
interjection
“Those girls don’t realize that guys need beauty for other reasons than do girls. If they realized what you were trying to determine by looking at the picture, there’s not a chance in the world they would give you a picture.”
I recommend you don’t get married based on your shittos because the guy who chooses to marry you will definitely take into the equation your physical beauty, and you will never know how much of a role that played in his decision. Its actually a requirement by the Torah that a man should be attracted to his wife and cant marry a girl before seeing her to see that she meets his approval.
“If they realized what you were trying to determine by looking at the picture”
I am trying to determine if I like how she looks. Is that insulting. I am dating because I am supposed to marry her if I like her right?!
kedushas levi
I had one of those kosher alarm clicks. It was delicious. JK.
I own one. They aren’t that loud and cant be heard outside of the room so I dont know what the problem would be.
popa_bar_abba
What do you mean when you say romantic feelings…?
zahavasdad
“I dont think Rebbes should touch kids in any way shape or form positive or negative.”
I second that big time. Unfortunately I had a abusive big brute of a Rebbe who (for an insignificant reason) “affectionately” smacked the living day lights out of me in one of the younger grades in elementary school. Then when he commanded me to stop crying and I didnt because I couldn’t, he beat me some more in front of the whole class. I was so shocked and hurt that a Rebbe can be so abusive. Baruch Hashem my father made sure that he was no longer employed by the Yeshiva because he threatened to call the cops and make a huge stink.
The fact is if its off limits to touch a kid then there will be less abuse because the Rebbe and teacher know that it wont be tolerated.
One thing I can promise you, one beating can ruin a kids life. Its just not worth it to allow Rabbeim/teachers to touch kids period!
esther
“Wow!
Popa, you’re an Ima????
I never would’ve guessed!!”
It would seem that Mr and Mrs Popa use that account because the way a lot of the stuff is written seems very male and a lot of the Halachic knowledge seems like it comes from a male.
Health
“ready now -“Health- maybe the “husband” was converting too.”
Naw! Sorry! He looked and talked Jewish. (Not the language.)”
Maybe he is a BT or OTD on the way back who married her at some point and she is in the process of giyur? There are plenty of possible scenarios. Im not sure why you so strongly want to condemn people you don’t even know and have nothing to do with!
Can my comment be approved?
Iced
No his going on the stand does not prove innocence just arrogance. You obviously didn’t read up on what was revealed during his testimony. He definitely is no model citizen….
Daas Yachid
So basically since we will almost never catch an abuser on video and since they are usually smart enough to cover their tracks well we should never believe the accuser and always assume they are making up a story right?
Listen, in this case although there is no proof, there’s certainly smoke and quite a bit of it at that and when there’s smoke there’s usually fire. There’s way too much in his modus operandi that makes no sense. Btw did you ever hear of a therapist that went on a private 14 hour trip with their client?! Especially with an underage girl?!
Any updates?
Interesting find on Revach.net
Parshas Vayeishev: Chazon Ish – Bitachon & Hishtadlus, What They Are & What They Aren’t
Yosef was punished with two years additional years in jail because he asked the Sar HaMashkim to mention him to Paroh in the hopes of gaining his freedom. This request, says Chazal constituted a lack of Bitachon. The Meforshim ask that Yosef was merely doing Hishtadlus and trying to procure his freedom through normal ways. Isn’t Hishtadlus not only permissible but required? To understand this we must first understand the true meaning of Bitachon and Hishtadlus.
Does Bitachon or reliance on Hashem mean that when I am faced with a problem I must be confident that things will turn out the way I’d like them to? No, says the Chazon Ish. Bitachon is an offshoot of Emuna, and the definition of emuna is that I believe that nothing in this world is by chance and everything is directed by the hand of Hashem. It follows that no matter what situation you face you must believe the outcome is the will of Hashem, and that Hashem can bring any outcome he desires without anything standing in His way.
So back to our question. If I am facing danger I can’t know if I will be saved, but I must believe that whatever happens is Hashem’s will, and since Hashem only wants what’s good for us, whatever happens is by definition good. There is no bad outcome to any problem.
So then what is Hishtadlus? How can my efforts change what Hashem knows is good? One would reason that the only Hishtadlus needed is to daven to Hashem, for everything else is for naught. So why would I work on my behalf at all? The Chazon Ish explains that Hashem wants us to take action that in the eyes of the the world seem to achieve our goals because Hashem wants to run the world according to the laws of nature. Hashem wants to remain hidden as much as possible and not need to reveal His hand in running the world.
This seemingly logical explanation has far fetched implications in dictating how we must behave with regard to Hishtadlus. Since Hishtadlus means achieving our goals in a perfectly natural way, it rules out any action that has only a remote possibility of succeeding. If one takes action that has little chance of working or doesn’t make too much sense that is not Hishtadlus. Once something falls out of the realm of Hishtadlus it becomes an act of desperation and is forbidden since it shows a lack of emuna. It shows that you don’t believe Hashem can solve your problem and will do anything to help yourself however remote.
The proper way to solve your problems is to daven to Hashem and hope for his salvation. At the same time you should take normal steps to solve your problem. Anything beyond that is a waste of time and a lack of emuna, so don’t take a desperate shot in the dark. It will hurt you spiritually and won’t help you come close to your goal even one iota.
Rav Dov Yaffa says that the Chazon Ish explained that this was the charge against Yosef for asking the the Sar HaMashkim to remember him. A minister of the stature of the Sar HaMashkim is not of the nature to return favors by humbling himself and rehashing his shameful past before the king. Yosef’s request crossed the line of Hishtadlus and bordered on desperation, and for that he was punished.
Always runs
Btw you said you are divorced yet you say you always call him? If you divorced him then that’s it you should move on. You seem to be very attached to him still which I don’t think is good for you because it may stop you from moving on with your life. He chose to mess up his life and make bad choices it his his problem. His siblings and parents should deal with him. He is no longer your spouse and no longer your responsibility. You need to face the possibility that it may take him years to get out of this depending on how long it has been going on. Don’t wait around for him to get help and change. You owe it to yourself to move on and remarry. You can try one time like I wrote above to get him to see reality. But if he doesn’t want to see it then just leave him alone. Addicts live in denial so you will be wasting your time.
Iced
So you are pro all types of abuse?
Always runs
Thanks for the compliment. If he is divorced and still doesn’t realize what he has done to himself I don’t know what to tell you. You can try talking to him and pointing out to him how he has changed over the years and gone from a moral upstanding yorei shomayim who took his yiddishkeit seriously and was close to Hashem to doing what he is doing. Point out how this dirties his neshama how it ruins his personality and how it affected how he feels about himself and how he relates to others. Explain how it brings depression sadness and how it has robbed him of his potential and of his time and peace of mind. Maybe he had certain goals and dreams that he wanted to pursue but ruined it with his addiction. Point out what it did to the marriage, and how he could have been so happy and fulfilled. Point out what it has done to the kids (if there are any I dont know how long you were married and if you have children) He has to realize what he has lost. Think it all through and have it organized when you choose to talk to him about it. I think if you present all of it ye can’t fail to see what he has done. However that still doesn’t mean he will hit that point inside that he chooses to really change. You won’t like this but they say that most addicts don’t decide to change until they hit rock bottom. Meaning his life will mamish have to be lousy lousy lousy to the point of total misery for it to hurt him enough to want to change. Like he will have to lose his job and be broke and whatever…or like get sick from it or something extreme. Like I said above if getting divorced didn’t stop him then he’s pretty glued to this thing. So I dont know what it would take…
Maybe part of his issue is he doesnt want to admit he needs to change because he doesn’t believe he can change. Or that it is possible to change. I think he needs to understand that he can change and there is hope So you should try getting hold of some numbers of top therapists that deal with this addiction and maybe also have a Rav talk to him and let him know he is not alone and many have gone through what he is going through and have gone to therapy and changed and turned it all around and he can do it to. He can have his life back and have his freedom back. He doesn’t have to live like a prisoner chained to his addiction. Hopefully the Rav should be able to convince him to seek help.