Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
potpie
I would say that the reason is because theres a limit to how many tabs they can have on top and they felt that for now its more important to have the Monsey and Catskill tabs up there.
I wonder if he or she is related to squeak
HaLeiVi
Possibly. It does say Shemoneh esrei Lechupah. As long as a boy has the right hashkafos and is mature enough he should get married younger. However sadly I have seen young couples in public settings where the boy was 19 or 20 tops (chassidish) and he was ignoring his wife. She looked miserable and was just looking around the place like someone please notice I exist. Many boys just dont know how to be in a serious relationship at that age.
Oneofmany
Do you assume every thread is about a problem? Lol.
Oneofmany
“Syag: Because both of them are promoting justifications that are not grounded in reality. Boys display sociopathic behavior up until marriage and then become kind, sensitive snowflakes? If you don’t have a boyfriend before marriage your reward (seriously?!) will be this awesome guy who will love you and be devoted to you for all eternity–just by virtue of you being such a good girl? In my (humble and inexperienced) opinion, this is not the type of thinking that fosters healthy marriages.
All that is beside the fact that the actual problems with having a relationship outside of marriage are hirhur, negiah, and etc. Would two well-adjusted thirty year-olds be allowed to have a romantic relationship? What is the point in building spurious and potentially harmful ideas? If a girl has trouble accepting the basic halacha as it is, try to find her other emotional (or dare I say, intellectual) outlets.”
No boys don’t display sociopathic behavior before marriage and then become anything. The point is that teens go through certain changes during those years that cause their hormones to rage I cant be explicit here but those hormones lead a boy to have very unclean thoughts and very overpowering desires. Now these crazy drives normalize at around 20 +- a few years.
Now in general every typical male has strong desires, even post teens but theres a big difference between the teenage surge and the post teen surge in that your body calms down a lot. You cant compare the crazy energy and drive of a 17 year old to a 23 year old.
Also, when you are in Shidduchim you are older have matured and grown as a person, have likely learned more about relationships and what marriage is about and your head is on marriage and having a real relationship. You are set on finding that one person that you will spend your life with, build a family with and all that. Yes most guys will still care about the physical attraction and that is part of how we are wired but at 22 or 23 we are able to put that at the back burner and not make our marriage decision based totally on that. As a teen dating has zero toeles. The boy has one interest and one interest only, to enjoy the females physicality. Theres no relationship. He doesnt go home with her. They dont live together. He doesnt have to BE THERE for her. They just hang out and chill together and he is only there for the fun stuff, the second it stops being fun the boy hits the road. You know that you don’t need the girl because if things dont work you just say good bye and find another. If anything the girl is desperate to keep the boy and tends to fall for him and out of her desperation to keep him will do things she will live to regret later. Once you give the boy what he wants what is his motivation for teh relationship?
In shidduchim (by shomrei Torah) there is no touching and no chance you will get any of that before marriage. Your focus is much more grounded on reality, you dont intend to marry her get divorced find another get divorced….You want this one to work.
squeak
“A baseball bat is just as good.”
Depends on what your goal is.
writersoul
Context is everything.
Oneofmany
I disagree theres plenty of factual information to be found on non Jewish relationships. (Who is lying about them? Jews?)
“Do you believe what the Internet says about Gerrer marriages?”
Actually a lot of it is true.
I have also heard from non Jews that I have worked with and from things I have read or heard in shiurim from Rabbis who were campus Rabbis and spoke about all the trash that goes on in college campuses. Females in the non Jewish world get used for something. I will leave your imagination up to figuring out what that is.
One of many
Go google raging hormones and the effects it has on teenage boys and come back. Also google what goes on in college and all that. Most of it wont be allowed by your filter if you have one. Theres plenty information online about non Jewish relationships pre and during and post college.
writersoul
I guess girls are smart until they decide to be thickheaded.
“You can never ever trust a boy”? “Every boy is a liar, a pervert, a jerk”?
That line doesn’t mean always in all situations. It means that when it comes to boy-girl teenage relationships a boy will say or do anything he can to get intimate with you. He will say he loves you and talk nice to you until you will let him have his way with you.
OneOfMany
1) You are right I omitted the one (or 2 or 3) night stands.
2) Teenagers have raging hormones edited. Additionally because their brains are still growing and maturing, which doesnt complete until the late teens or early 20’s certain things go on in the brain which causes lack of maturity in the the following areas: goal-setting, priority-setting, planning, organisation and impulse-inhibition. You can google to get more info. on these things.
If they apologize doesn’t that say that they don’t believe their staff who deny the kids did anything wrong (or very little, nothing even close to warranting the response of being kicked off a flight)and that they also would be accusing innocent kids of wrongdoing? All for what? It wont change a thing about how the anti-semites already look at us trust me they will find a way to see the apology in a negative light. Why risk insulting and alienating your teachers and students who at the end of the day are your #1 priority? Its not a simple thing.
pou_bear
Ask a real Orthodox Rabbi about it and let us know what he paskens. Why dont you call up the beis horaa in Lakewood and ask them its free and anonymous?
OneOfMany
You understand NOTHING of what the typical teenage boy is all about. They run on hormones. I will also add that most teenage girls are too immature for a relationship as well and are using the boys in their own way for their emotional needs. Its not usually about being in a giving relationship as much as “I need a boy it will make me feel good…”
crisisoftheweek
Really? This goes on in the goyish world until the man in mature enough to love a woman for who she is inside (approximately age 35).
By goyim this is how it works very often, boy and girl meet at some random bar or what not, boy convinces girl to be intimate with him after a few dates sometimes less. They date a few months. If they like each other enough they move in together. After 3-5 years girl brings up marriage. Guy pushes her off 1-3 years. Girl then tells guy “I WANT TO GET MARRIED STOP PUSHING IT OFF” guy says “I don’t really think we are for each other.” Girl breaks down and cries and lives in heartbreak and depression for many months or even a year and after some intense therapy she picks herself up and starts dating again.
My point is that unless a guy is mature and ready for marriage which means responsibility and really taking care of his wife with all that entails its just a selfish relationship where the guy uses the girl for whatever he needs and once the relationship becomes inconvenient for him in any way, like she starts being demanding on his time or whatever he dumps the girl and moves on to the next.
dafyomi2711
I always try to do it. Shulchon aruch says its a chiyyuv.
Toi
A Rav would have a field day with you.
danish123
It will take a lot longer than a month to get “out” of listening to non Jewish music. Realistically it can take 6 months or longer for it to be really out of your system and you need to be cold turkey with the non Jewish music across the board. You cant have it in your car or at home or on your ipod or whatever. Delete any non Jewish music you have and make it as unavailable as possible.
danish123
To be honest it is highly questionable if it is even possible to find any contemporary non Jewish songs that are kosher. If its Kol Isha you have that problem and if its a man you still have a problem with the lyrics. Even if its not a love song it is very likely that some of the lyrics will still be problematic either for foul language, or hinting to inappropriate things, or just because the hashkafos (whatever the theme of the song is) discussed in the song are bad and anti Torah.
Theres nothing wrong with listening to Benny Friedman and if you go to mostly music you can listen to samples from every genre of Jewish music until you find some wholesome artists you like.
shnitzalltheway
You are so welcome!
Many people in the music industry are lost souls theres nothing else I can say. They need help and guidance. Its truly sad that they can so embarrass contestants. I saw the most recent episode and am shocked at how they clearly have no problems laughing at and hurting peoples pride. The fact is you CANT have such a show without hurting and disappointing people. Its impossible to make such a show in a mutar fashion.
wanderingchana
You don’t apologize if you did nothing wrong. Unless of course you are the state of Israel, in which case you must apologize at every opportunity you have for existing and living on your G-d given land and defending yourself against barbaric baby killers.
jewish source
Some people think its a chillul Hashem for frum Jews to exist. Some people think its a chillul Hashem for a chassid to wear chassidic garb in public….
etnazr
I was going to write that but refrained.
jewish source
Just because they look different than you and come from a different background than you makes them bad? Trust me theres a long laundry list of things that bachurim from “top” yeshivos do wrong so will you draw the same conclusion that “This is a direct result of the school they are in?”
Toi
Thats not halacha lemaysah its an oolay. Lemaysoh we hold only 4 amos.
I think its pashut theres nothing left to add. Its a davar sheyeish lo matirim theres no reason to rely on any heteirim for anything here.
playtime
You are welcome.
yehudayona
“doorways, by the bookcase where the siddurim are, in the hallway that leads to the bathroom”
They have no business being there. Additionally people have no business davening in aisles. One may only Daven at an official “spot” an aisle is not a spot. You cant just “pull up” anywhere and drop a shemoneh esrei. Halachically you may walk in front of such people and even lift them up and move them out of the way. But its best to try not to start a fist fight in shul.
Google The Aishes Chayil Style.
yichusdik
I either believe they are stupid and naive, in which case I can’t trust anything they say anymore or I believe that they are purposely covering something up because they somehow perceive that it is for the greater good of the Jewish community. Theres no good, its just a lesser of 2 evils. Id rather believe the 2nd because it makes some sense even if its wrong and crooked and still allows me to not write them off as fools.
Health
I really don’t think all of these Rabbis actually believe that he didn’t do it. Theres something else at play. Something very misguided. If you think about it you can come up with some good reasons why they want everyone to believe that this stuff doesn’t go on in Lakewood.
Shopping613
If you truly get bored and love spending time online I recommend listening to shiurim by Rabbi YY Rubinstein. He is very funny so you get a great shiur plus entertainment. I kid you not he has a great sense of humor and is quite entertaining. Go to Torahanytime.com
playtime
There are a few cds out there. You are looking for whats called “nusach” cds. Try either the one from Moshe Sklar (check for this on mostlymusic you can listen to samples) or Shabbos With Shlomo Simcha (my personal favorite).
Hatzlacha!
rebdoniel
True, thats why its important to marry someone who is “as good as can be” and not settle because that person may get even worse!
interjection
Many people who watch movies, or go to movies, or listen to non Jewish music or do other things they shouldnt are embarrassed to tell the Shadchan that they do that and want a girl ho is ok with it. Thats where the problem starts.
Toi.
4 amos check O.C. 102:4.
broom and shovel
Considering that many people who recite kaddish recite it like its a chore and likely dont have a blazing clue what they are saying and that there are adults and sometimes even choshuv looking ones talking during kaddish I have a hard time blaming an 18 year old for talking. Hes just going with the flow. SADLY.
147
As far as I know there is no such halacha. I believe that it is actually 100% mutar to walk in front of someone saying kaddish. A lesser known and almost universally violated halacha (yes I know there are some shvach shmeteirim) is the walking infront in the 4 amos of one davening shemoneh esrei.
popa
Good.
Sam2
Why should we be someich on heteirim like kol deparish when its a davar sheyeish lo matirim by waiting 6 hours to eat it?
Sam2
You should really say that “I sam2 think based on my limited understanding velulei dmistifina that Rashi didn’t see things that way.”
frumscientist
If you don’t have a strong passion for medicine then forget it because its very difficult so to go forward with such a thing at the age of 25 with 2 kids is only smart if you want it want it want it, because if you arent strongly into it and your main motivation is just a nice parnassah you will probably burn out and drop out.