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Ihear
To a large extent men are taught that it’s not manly to cry thus crying is not an option and whenever tears could come the emotion is quickly and forcibly squashed. There are men who can cry and I think that a man who can feel others pain and cry for them is actually a very special and mature person. If you read about how the gadolim of previous generations daven ed and if you read seforim about the inyan of tefillah they all talk about crying to Hashem in tefillah. So it’s quite normal for a Frum male to cry and I think there’s a lot of value on working on yourself to the point that you can get so emotional by tefillah that you can cry if you so choose to. Granted some guys here may have no clue what I am talking about but I can say from personal experience that one can teach himself to come in touch with his emotions to the point that he can cry and be OK with it.
Rabbitofberlin
Sorry I dont see any chumros on my streets. I see frum women and girls nebach not keeping basic laws of Tzniyus. In a few years time only the frumest Chassidish and Yeshivish will be covering knees I see it coming. I see regular women married to kollel guys with troublesome lengths to their skirts these days and the styles keep getting shorter.
Oomis
I hate to break it to you but Tzniyus as a whole is not doing well. On a recent Shabbos here in boro Park we had a chassidush man w white socks walking down the street with a wife wearing what was almost a mini skirt. Many inches above the knee were revealed. Everyone was looking. Going back to the summer there were a lot more knees revealed than ever before. It looks like we lose a few mm a year and we are at a point that many girls and women from regular frum families while standing have their knees showing. Its easy to imagine what a show occurs when these people sit down. Then the whole pointless tug of war occurs which is a losing battle because a second later the thing is riding up again. The issue is quite out of hand and quite bothersome. I see no solution and I only see things getting worse due to the lack of leadership and lack of yiras shomayim so prevalent in our society today.
Zahavasdad
You should copyright that story about the Piacezna Rebbe because its a work of fiction. Never happened. There is a story that elie wiesel tellsover of howhe was present when 3 regular Jews put Hashem on trial. I certainly dont believe they had a.right to do so but I wont judge them. So im pretty sure as things stand it is quite outlandish to think we can judge Hashem. There is a story of the Shpoler Zeide where they put Hashem on trial to bring about a miracle and end a famine. But this is obviously not about judging Hashem but rather a method for great Tzaddikim to precipitate a neis. If the story with the piacezna ever happened you need to provide a source. I asked someone who wrote a few books onthe Holocaust and he neverheard anything of the sort.
Zahavasdad
You should copyright that story about the Piacezna Rebbe because its a work of fiction. Never happened. There is a story that elie wiesel tellsover of howhe was present when 3 regular Jews put Hashem on trial. I certainly dont believe they had a.right to do so but I wont judge them. So im pretty sure as things stand it is quite outlandish to think we can judge Hashem. There is a story of the Shpoler Zeide where they put Hashem on trial to bring about a miracle and end a famine. But this is obviously not about judging Hashem but rather a method for great Tzaddikim to precipitate a neis. If the story with the piacezna ever happened you need to provide a source. I asked someone who wrote a few books onthe Holocaust and he neverheard anything of the sort.
Its been a while since ive had a potato burka lol.
Lakewood
Big difference. A human has no intrinsic right to rule over people. He happens to be king and people must listen to him. If he is cruel and they thus rebel then certainly the king is awar.criminal for.punishing them. However Hashem is the creator and the True king. He is All Good All Kind and All Loving. He created humans. He made them and keeps them going every second by that very fact they are all beholden to.him. If people rebel against such a King do they not.deserve to cease being given the right and undeserved privilige provided (provided by the King) to survive?
Lakewood001
First of all Hashem created that baby and gave it life. Why did that baby deserve to be born? It.didnt! Hashem is.the big boss in the sky. He is the Melech meimis and. mechayeh at His will. Your comparing Hashem to a melech basar vdam is really off the mark. I think thats where a lot of peoples questions stem from. First realize Who and What Hashem is and what He is not.and then you will understand many things clearer.
Another point is that you need to understand did Hashem bother creating this world. It wasnt so people could sit at their computers munching on pretzels and spouting kefirah. He created this world for spiritual attainment. Everything is about klal yisroel Torah and Hashem. Let me ask you, why is it different killing a baby or.killing 13 year old for.not keeping Shabbos. The.same way He can say that an adult must die for.being mechallel Shabbos He can say that that adults child has to die. Again He made this world based on His rules and His rules are all spiritual rules.because.He is kulo ruchani.
Leyzer
Sometimes the medicine is harsh. We take for granted that Hashem is Rachaman but He is not a vatran and there is a middas Hadin and there comes a time to pay your dues. Think about it. Al pi midas Hadin the second any person does one aveira as small as it may be he should instantly drop dead because Hashem would stop allowing his heart to beat. But this never happens. Nobody likes to think about this but we all should have died the day we turned bar mitzvah and chayyiv in mitzvos. If you keep this in mind you have no questions about when Hashem allows the middas Hadin to do some cleansing. The absolute chutzpah us humans have to go against His will and smack Him in the face and then after doing it to Him a few thousand or million times and He sees that He must punish us instead of accepting the mussar we say how dare He!
DaMoshe
Just because you slip up after yom kippur doesnt mean your Teshuva wasnt sincere and accepted by Hashem. We have a yetzer hora who works 24-7 to trip us up. In those times as well im sure many people slipped up a short time after yom kippur.
Torah
Some Rabbanim tackle issues that the typical bachur doesnt need to hear about. I wouldnt recommend Rabbi Wallerstein for example to every yeshiva bachur.
Popa
Once upon a time if someone had a tayvah he had to actually put in some serious hishtadlus to either look at shmutz or do something bad. Today all he needs is a phone ipod or computer. Basically almost any electronic device with a browser puts an insane amount of shmutz at ones finger tips. I read an article about a recent study done online that found that 30 percent (30%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) of all data transferred across the Internet is shmutz the bad stuff. Theres just so much of it online and a lot of it is free. Its all set up to lure people in to this intoxicating tayvah and get them hooked. Popa you should really never know. I know people in chinuch and i have a younger brother who tells me whats going on out there. Its very frightening. I dont think there is one bachur out there who had access to unfiltered internet in privacy that hasnt been nichshol in seeing things that are major issurim and wreck ones kedusha. Theres no need to elaborate. But if we had a problem last year the issue has likely gotten worse by now. Im not sure that many people have gotten filters. The order of business has to be to protect the kids. Im waiting for yeshivas to get some guts and actually do whats necessary to make a zero tolerance policy smart phones. Basically we find it we break it and your loss. I know Rabbi Bender does this. Halevai more Menahalim actually cared about their students nehsamos enough to do this.
Live right
I have been told that its best to shed our tears in front of a siddur or Tehillim in prayer to Hashem when possible. Tears can accomplish much when used at the right time and channeled properly.
There are many. Go to Torahanytime.com
Rabbi Frand, Rabbi Wachsman Rabbi Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Rabbi Orlowek, Rabbi Rietti, there are many wonderful speakers out there.
I happen to agree as well.
You mean they used the #4?
OOM
Why would Rav Moshes psak (and the shittah of practically the whole yeshivish velt) not be relevant to this.discussion. She does claim to.be a bais yakov meidel and a Rebbetzin.
They better cut it out.
Harri
Obviously thinking about gehennom is not working for you. A.better. idea whould.be to make up.your mind you will try very very hard to stop and be mindful of it. Whenever the urge comes to bite just tell yourself “theres.no need to bite it now ill do it later” basically by pushing it off as.much as you can u will end.up.doing it much less. This will definitely work for.any thing that is a bad habit. Just push it off. Dont tell yourself that its assur and you can NEVER do it. It.just.makes you feel trapped and you give up fighting. Just push it off for.an hour or.whatever and distract yourself.by getting busy with something else. This really works.
Sharp
Right trademark.
Way to go popa. Hold strong.
If you do teshuvah and stop for good then no. Really discuss this with a Rabbi.
Lost1970
Its hard not compare but you should know that envy is an illusion. You shouldnt compare yourself to others and in most cases you are better than you think and are likely better quantitatively than the person you are comparing yourself to. I learned that on yom kippur. There was a guy in my shul who I thought was such a good Davener he was praying so loud and seemed so into it. I decided to switch my seat to sit next to him for Mussaf. I was shocked that he had his head down by the silent shemoneh esrei so missed praying with the congregation. Then when he picked his head up he tried making conversation with me in middle of the chazzans repetition of musaf. This guy was so far from being into it in a real way. So really stop thinking that you arent that goodand that everyone is better because its simply not true.
Ash
Whats the best way to filter an android phone?
Yitayning
What is some belief?! I believe in G-d 60%? Or only on Mondays and Fridays? You either believe or you dont. Half an apikorus or kofer is still 100% a kofer and apikorus. Emunah comes from the word amein which means that its true and you believe it. If you dont believe it fully then you dont believe it.
Are we discussing hashkafically?
42
Great name for a drink no? Im copyrighting it.
Ikno.and syag
There are people that have serious psychological issues that make it difficult to apologize. Google some.
Popa
Thanks for introducing new chumras.
This name
Im sure he has asked his why broccoli on at least one occasion. Lol.
As Kosher as Tropicana gets.
Tonight I drank both orange juice (aren’t Jews?) and water.
SanityIsOverrated
Its a chidush to me that women are people and that it would be assur to shame one.
Marty g
It doesnt matter if you define yourself as a ben Torah or a working guy (not to say thatyou cant be both) or whatever if.something is assur its assur for everyone. Nobody gets a discount. Your cousin is.no different thana stranger in thisregard since you may marry her if she isnt married yet. If youmust talk to her keep it as brief aspossible and be mindful of yichud laws. If anything theres more danger in talkingto a cousin because you already feel close. Its.dangerous.
Sanity
Maybe pitch the idea.to. artscroll.
Damoshe
+1 This.was.the straw that broke the camels backfor.me. I made up my mind that next year its with money for me. I want no part in this aveira I have enough already.
Sally
I also remember it. Thats quite irrelevant. I remember it being an exciting outing.andan opportunity.to.see other boys I knew from other yeshivos. I also.remember.being amazed.by the sheer.amount of.people. I dont remember much else.
Eclipse
I have been posting here from my phone the last few weeks and the word memory and predict thing is messing up my posts that’s why there’s lots of typos and poor grammar lately. I occasionally edit and try to fix it but it’s just too much effort from a phone.
Eclipse
Aww I like it. That’s what it should mean. May you be zoche to have that type of marriage.
If your kids are old enough and you feel the will understand then it may be a chinuch opportunity to explain how these 2 met in an inappropriate way online. If they are too young to get it don’t bother. Either way your kids won’t ask how they met because they would assume it’s the normal way through a shadchan of some sort(if you are a more right wing family).
Why did I say yes
Torahumadda
According to the English sefer/book guidelines to tefillah if you don’t have kavannah by davening you are not yotzi. He brings from the Avudraham and halachos shelomo in 2 places as well as the Gemara in brachos Daf 6.
By Shema you are certain not yotzi as well as first bracha of shemoneh esrei. I’m sorry but there is no excuse for someone over bar mitzvah to be davening without knowing what he is saying. Today there’s many types of artscroll translated siddurim as well as translated into siddurim that have been translated into Yiddish and other languages. Same goes for not learning. Theres seforim and books translated into every language. Laziness is not going to cut it on Yom kippur or @120.
Lost1970
Although your past may not have been ideal it doesn’t make it a waste. Theres certainly many things you learned that others may not know and these things that you learned both about life and yourself will help you to make the most out of the rest of your life.
Huh? There’s lite point in making a asifas tefillah of people who have no clue what they are saying. Tefillah is avodas shebelev. Without knowing what your saying you won’t be activating the shebeleiv aspect and therefore you are just shouting out words. Might as well be screaming out some prayer in Chinese.
These asifas are almost pointless because the kids have no clue what these kapitlach tehillim mean. It would be so much more meaningful to get older bochurim and baal habatim together for a Tefilla asifa.
If you do aveiros after Tashlich and kaparos do you have to do them again?
Oomis
I do kaparos with a cow.
The problem is that parents give kids enough money to buy cigs. They are $10 a pack now. A serious smoker needs at least $50-$60 a week to feed his habit. Even a casual smoker will need about $30. This is all extra spending money that the parents are giving the kids. There are so many stupid Frum parents out there. It may sound harsh but I think many parents do what’s called stupid chinuch. They enable their children to do everything wrong (spoil them with money and electronics) and then wonder why their kids don’t turn out that well. Hmm. Maybe don’t spoil them rotten?!