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October 31, 2010 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm in reply to: Depressing Conversation With 7th Grade BY Girl #736891vnishmartemmeodMember
Apushatayid: How about volunteering to help a neighbor, say, with twins? Or baking or making something cool to put a smile on an elderly neighbors face?
WIY brings up an important issue. And don’t go knocking it down with all those “rayas” because that itself is part of the problem: the people that may have some influence on children (parents, aunts/uncles etc.) don’t encourage GIVING of themselves… as a fun and fulfilling thing to do(think, chessed, something that meshes with that particular kids personality…)
Based on my own experience growing up… whenever I was into helping someone else, I stayed out of trouble… otherwise my mind probably wandered to the wrong place “what can I watch” etc.
vnishmartemmeodMemberI am one of the freqent limerick contributors
My amazing talents to showcase, of course
No boasting, I’m too humble
Oops… I’m starting to bumble
I better just get back to my chores
vnishmartemmeodMemberivolunteerny.com recently expanded to Brooklyn; friendly visitation to holocaust survivors/seniors. You can contact them via their website…
vnishmartemmeodMemberoomiss – with you on that, totally 😉
October 31, 2010 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm in reply to: Molesters: Why Do Some In Our Community Cover For Them? #711697vnishmartemmeodMemberWe are not talking about automatically accusing someone the second a child mentions something… we are talking about taking it seriously, investigating, reporting to police to further investigate… and as soon as there is sufficient evidence deal with them like a suspected criminal!
Aries, you have my full respect and utmost appreciation for the work you do… and the eloquent post above.
Popa – I’m sorry to say, your approach to this issue is horrendous… supporting so right, when he is (or even in your mind COULD BE) SO WRONG!
MG – I think I know EXACTLY who you are talking about… I saw the documentary (Canada?) and personally know a parent why cries all the time about what he did to her teenage son, who is unhappy, thinks he’s gay, and suicidal… no thanks to this “ran-out-of-town, nobody-believed-he-could-do-it-or-still-does-it” CRIMINAL “Rabbi”!
vnishmartemmeodMemberin it for the money
October 31, 2010 5:11 am at 5:11 am in reply to: What happened to Hakoros Hatov & Derech Eretz in the CR ? #705057vnishmartemmeodMemberDittos from me!
I am fairly new here. Originally, I thought I’d pop on and just have my say…and get right off. But then the atmosphere here was just so wonderful… normal, respectful and fun!
And here I still am.
(BPTotty – you absolutely are for the books!!) 🙂
October 31, 2010 4:07 am at 4:07 am in reply to: Molesters: Why Do Some In Our Community Cover For Them? #711675vnishmartemmeodMemberSo right: what more “proof” do you need, that when a kid comes telling his parents (best possible scenario in worst possible situation, although mostly kids keep it in for a long while) – having NEVER seen a therapist in his life – and talking about things that he/she would never be able to “imagine/make up” UNLESS someone was MOLESTING him, or perhaps, grooming him for future abuse?
The saddest part of all this, as some others mentioned, there are big chances that those molested and don’t get proper help themselves become molesters… think about the ramifications. It’s alot like a malicious virus, that infects not only your computer, but then unleashes the virus to friends/contacts’ computers… which then multiplies by sending to all THEIR contacts and friends… out of control, harmful, viruses… that eventually shuts the computer down… this is similar to how molesters in our community are wreaking havoc.
ramat: Unfortunately – that is NOT the best response – as now that they have run the perpetrator out-of-town… he’s free to go to the next town and cause unimaginable harm THERE. WHICH IS EXACTLY how it’s been happening. Hopefully, in this internet age, and intercommunity relationships – that the threat is reduced somehow – because this is a very ill-concieved tactic… the criminal has to be prosecuted. Simple as that.
October 31, 2010 3:57 am at 3:57 am in reply to: Molesters: Why Do Some In Our Community Cover For Them? #711673vnishmartemmeodMemberSo right: what more “proof” do you need, that when a kid comes telling his parents (best possible scenario in worst possible situation, although mostly kids keep it in for a long while) – having NEVER seen a therapist in his life – and talking about things that he/she would never be able to “imagine/make up” UNLESS someone was MOLESTING him, or perhaps, grooming him for future abuse?
The saddest part of all this, as some others mentioned, there are big chances that those molested and don’t get proper help themselves become molesters… think about the ramifications. It’s alot like a malicious virus, that infects not only your computer, but then unleashes the virus to friends/contacts’ computers… which then multiplies by sending to all THEIR contacts and friends… out of control, harmful, viruses… that eventually shuts the computer down… this is similar to how molesters in our community are wreaking havoc.
ramat: Unfortunately – that is NOT the best response – as now that they have run the perpetrator out-of-town… he’s free to go to the next town and cause unimaginable harm THERE. WHICH IS EXACTLY how it’s been happening. Hopefully, in this internet age, and intercommunity relationships – that the threat is reduced somehow – because this is a very ill-concieved tactic… the criminal has to be prosecuted. Simple as that.
October 29, 2010 9:17 pm at 9:17 pm in reply to: Molesters: Why Do Some In Our Community Cover For Them? #711658vnishmartemmeodMemberMW – would you consider “proven” when a normal 11 y.o. child has exact details what this molester did to him and asked him to do to others? (Suggestions to try what he did “in the mikvah” to him, to try it on his 2 sisters and brother etc.)
Yes, there is a fine line. I agree that it is a horrific scenario when a divorce starts getting ugly like that… We’re not talking about someone that has an axe to grind. We’re talking about normal children – that one day “wake up” and say – this guy that is completely unrelated to him in any way, never crosses his path except for (fill in the blank here, but in the above-mentioned scenario it was the local mikvah) did this and this to me.
vnishmartemmeodMemberSac asks right… How DO you KNOW he didn’t get insulted?
October 29, 2010 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704866vnishmartemmeodMemberI don’t think it’s “proof” that is available. Rather, an intellectual understanding if we dedicate time to study and try to understand. Not IF, it’s our obligation to. There IS a limit to how much we can understand… How can we UNDERSTAND everything(have beyond a doubt “proof”)… we’d have to be like G-d to…
But we can infer. Each to his own intellect, and pursuit of “the truth”. But the truth is within everyone’s grasp… just not “beyond a doubt”… we do have to have some faith. But it’s much easier to when we ASK the right questions, dig deep… and don’t let those why try to quash that delving succeed.
We should not fall into that “foolproof” trap – because many have been lost to yiddishkeit because of that false/unprovable claim…
vnishmartemmeodMemberWhat is it about limericks that enhances your (my!) creative thinking process…? I’m intriqued… as tired as I’ll be, I could still squeeze something out of my brain if I’m doing it via limerick…
vnishmartemmeodMembercould it be that his rested mind
automatically knowlege did find
by tapping into innate ability
and outputting it with facility
ignoring studying myths of mankind
vnishmartemmeodMemberAre you looking for support, or concrete info? Either way, check out this jewish org – http://www.facialfacts.org – it may be the closest to what you’re looking for…
October 29, 2010 10:18 am at 10:18 am in reply to: Is it unTznius for a girl to ride a bike, razor, ATV? #817166vnishmartemmeodMemberI happen to think a bike has other tznius issues besides for a skirt one…
October 29, 2010 10:16 am at 10:16 am in reply to: NY-LA via Coach Bus, only one seat left on each #785690vnishmartemmeodMemberThe MO bus. For kicks. That’s why I’m traveling, no?
vnishmartemmeodMemberBPtotty – you got some chassidish relatives, don’t ya? Admit it…! (otherwise it’s too scary to contemplate how perceptive you are… and a male to boot!)
vnishmartemmeodMemberHe’s not a TB, I’ll vouch for that. His english is waaaay too good for THAT!
vnishmartemmeodMemberLike a squirrel to acorns
And a two year old to newborns
I am quite attracted to
This limerick-le-do
Like a bee to a rose among thorns
October 29, 2010 4:14 am at 4:14 am in reply to: Is it unTznius for a girl to ride a bike, razor, ATV? #817162vnishmartemmeodMemberI don’t think riding a bike and riding a scooter should be asked as part of the same question. One has very serious tznius issues (the bike, that may or may not easily be dealt with), while the other (Scooter, standing up) is just part of “should a girl be seen outside doing something other than…” kind of thing.
Never mind the driving a car – I get so mad when I hear it lumped into a “tznius” issue… (How much more covered up while outside can one get than being boxed up in a metal transportation mechanism)
The “ripstik”? Now that’s a whole other parsha. THAT is something that I think is the epitome of “untznius” – I hate to see even boys use it, but I absolutely would not allow my daughter to… for those who are not familiar with it, it’s a kind of a skateboard that to move forward you have to move your hips in a gyrating motion (think Michael Jackson!). And yet, I see the kids use it all the time. I think it’s really sad that none of the parents think twice about buying or letting their kids use it – especially older girls (tweens!)
vnishmartemmeodMemberinn keeper (yeah, yeah, I meant innkeeper)
vnishmartemmeodMemberBPTotty – you seem to understand the female species a little too well for not being one of ’em… pretty cool!
vnishmartemmeodMemberDon’t get personal here…?
vnishmartemmeodMemberforegiveness granted for chopping my name
after all it is only a game
as long as you do not slack
and remember to come back
besides, I’m not looking for fame
October 27, 2010 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704840vnishmartemmeodMemberMinyanGal: It COULD be a lifestyle choice… but that’s just a different side of the problem. And exactly my point.
Why shouldn’t they see CHOICES within the Torah world, when clearly, it’s there? Who says you cannot be a frum fireman? Or cop? Or doctor? Or ANYTHING that is not going against halacha?
I think that we’re starting to dig in the right place… and beginning to formulate the “problem”. Which is quite heartening… because as soon as we start getting to the real root of the problem, we can start brainstorming for solutions that can actually have a chance to work. And I’m not even thinking “big picture” here… I’m thinking more along the lines of “with our own families, how can we avoid the pitfalls, how can we be successful in raising children that are “real” and “strong” in their beliefs… and know there is flexibility in their choices within our frum/Torah world…
October 27, 2010 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704839vnishmartemmeodMemberMoq, all I can say is “Wow”. Definitely heartening, your story… And everyone else that weighed in, good points…
I agree that we are living in an age of superficialities. Both the secular and the Torah world are suffering from the lack of “realness”…
There’s another scenario too: What about the children/teens that are “fine with the system” and actually go for the superficialities (levush, going to a Rebbe, etc.) but then what happens when they start maturing, thinking for themselves… and figuring out that some of it is a sham? Will they too throw away everything once that realization hits them?
October 27, 2010 2:19 pm at 2:19 pm in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704836vnishmartemmeodMemberBest line I’ve read in a long while >>(I can even picture the angels scratching their heads as they try to figure us out so they can defend us properly.)
vnishmartemmeodMemberI gotta save the limerick thread
It’s on the bottom almost dead
If no one is going to write
It’ll go down without a fight
There, I done it before going to bed
vnishmartemmeodMemberKid loves to go on the table. Mother constantly telling him: You’re not supposed to be on the table – “Shulchan domeh lmizbeach”…
Mother sees the kid again on the table. Gives him a stern look. And he says “Oh, don’t worry, I already said “Shulchan domeh lmizbeach”…
vnishmartemmeodMembereffort duly noted
October 27, 2010 3:20 am at 3:20 am in reply to: Your theory what Mosherose true motivation is? #704431vnishmartemmeodMemberdontcallmewave: I would love to know what the halacha is regarding talking what could be considered loshon hara on an “online persona”… (I’m not being facetious, I truly want to know.)
October 27, 2010 3:12 am at 3:12 am in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704824vnishmartemmeodMemberI don’t know about you all, but this story bothers me to the core. And it’s only the tip of the iceberg. (That, and my curiousity is what makes me seek the details…)
Think about it: Did you read Smile E Face’s “am I typical/normal” post? And the responses? So many admitting to having questions, and trusting no one close to them to ask or get answers from. So some are lucky… but others? Fall through the cracks. And I’m sure there are other scenarios… causing this OTD disease. It really is one… an epidemic in fact.
Mishpacha had an article this week that I think was so timely, and hit it on the head: We are losing our young ones to “emptiness”. And when feeling empty, yet with a good head on ones shoulders… it is quite difficult to stay in “the system” because that must feel terribly suffocating… and unfortunately, “the baby gets thrown out with the bath water” and EVERYTHING gets thrown out by the person feeling “EMPTY”.
Appreciate ye’all reading my ramblings… I’m tired, but I did want to try to get a point across anyway…
Would love to spin off this thread into: How can I raise MY children, to feel a strong connection to Hashem, and the Torah… as opposed to just doing things by rote, and possibly falling prey to this disease called OTD, otherwise known as “feeling empty, giving it up”.
vnishmartemmeodMemberHusband was told: shave your chest hair
He thought that was entirely unfair
It wouldn’t make a difference
And what was the inference
Obviously true ahava wasn’t there
Oh, this isn’t the limericks category? Oops..
October 26, 2010 10:18 pm at 10:18 pm in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704820vnishmartemmeodMemberThe numbers I heard were 6 to 8. And that the divorces actually happened in a 6 month span of time…
vnishmartemmeodMemberSmile E Face – like others have said, it is impressive that at your age you’ve gone ahead and done all that.
I’ve recently learned with my “partner in Torah” a wonderful lesson on “Divine Providence”, about the necessity of intellectual pursuit of truth… and why we may not be able to resolve all our doubts… bringing all sources together on this topic, from the Ramchal, to Rambam, etc.
Here’s the link – it may make you feel alot better:
http://www.jewishstudies.org/courses/foundations5/information.asp
There’s a limit to our “time” (lets put aside intellect for now) to delve into concepts to resolve our doubts… and sometimes, even if we get to resolve, layer by layer – by the time we get to study/learn/delve into it again – we may have lost what we gained last time (and we’re almost back to sqaure 1.)
vnishmartemmeodMemberHealthier than ingesting pesticides? Yes. Absolutely essential? Probably not.
But if you are looking to be more careful with what you eat, then it’s a good choice.
PLUS – you know for sure it’s not “genetically modified foods” GMO’s… about which there are still many questions how it affects one’s health… and some studies have shown potentially terrible consequences in the NEXT generation (infertility!)
Otherwise, not all GMO foods are clearly labeled. If it’s a concern for you – as it SHOULD BE – you can find a non-gmo shopping guide by googling that phrase…
vnishmartemmeodMemberSmile E. Face – you do what (most of us?) good BY girls did… never admitted to our questions… but did our own research. Learned on our own… And b”h came out stronger for it. (Duties of the Heart/Chovos Halvovos worked for me… among other seforim) Bezras Hashem by you 🙂
October 24, 2010 11:00 pm at 11:00 pm in reply to: Your theory what Mosherose true motivation is? #704422vnishmartemmeodMemberActually Helpful, I read the Mod’s response to him as completely dripping with sarcasm… (albeit in a beautiful way, “just in case”).
vnishmartemmeodMemberI think doctor’s don’t recommend warm humidifiers any more… (safety issues) – only the cool-mist ones. Which aren’t that expensive either… and work equally well.
October 24, 2010 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm in reply to: Time For Truth: Why Won't You Date A Ba'alas Teshuva? #709958vnishmartemmeodMemberI’m not in shidduchim.
But I will tell you this: I’ve heard hesitation in accepting a BT shidduch suggestion because “so many BT’s have gone back to their old ways”… Not because I agree with that, just figured I’d throw it out there for you to chew one. (You DID ask…)
On another note: Do YOU consider BT’s as shidduch suggestions? (Besides the fact that I’m curious if BT’s sometimes prefer non-BT shidduchim, I also happen to know of a great guy with a BT background… I know this is a wild idea… but hey, ya never know)
vnishmartemmeodMemberNow it’s time to say thank you
To BLINKY who gave us the cue
To start rhyming limericks
It sure has given us kicks
And an outlet for expression too
October 24, 2010 3:48 pm at 3:48 pm in reply to: Your theory what Mosherose true motivation is? #704415vnishmartemmeodMemberOP revisiting thread here… so far only a few came up with interesting theories. Some defenders (Oy vey!) Posts of a poster that begs such questions…
In any case – Haleivi – your theory sure wins for “most original” in my book!
On a more serious note: If someone would be ultra-frum, and sincerely so… it would come across in his posts. And most everyone would respect that. (And respectfully disagree when appropriate.) Mosherose, is neither frum, nor sincere, imho. No one that is THAT naive, (truly) and with THOSE hashkafos, would come online posting such silly posts or comments. I’d be willing to bet my last dollar on that.
vnishmartemmeodMemberminyan gal, to you I must say
Kudos for coming to play
In this sandbox of ours
Building castles and towers
From words as if it were clay
vnishmartemmeodMemberDid I hear you say “rare disease”
I beg you to reconsider please
This is more accurately a pleasure
Of the very highest measure
Now don’t you go be a tease
October 22, 2010 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm in reply to: Are the Reform and Conservative Still Jewish? #755255vnishmartemmeodMemberWithout reading any responses to the original post first, I think it is a very sad question. It’s not up for debate. Being Jewish is a factual thing: You were either born Jewish (to a jewish mother) or converted halachacilly… If you live a Torah life – is up for questioning… You cannot “decide” to become unJewish. (Based on his actions a person may lose is chelek in Olam Haba, maybe even Olam Hazeh too…) but the fact that he is Jewish – how’s that a question?
vnishmartemmeodMemberMinyan gal, I wanted to mention
thank you for the specific attention
for taking your precious time
to respond by limerick rhyme
and releasing some of my pumpkin tension
vnishmartemmeodMemberI’m really impressed with this thread
I can’t get the thought out of my head
what really good clean fun
Think, type and done
And no lashon hara gets said
October 21, 2010 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm in reply to: Spooky: FDA says no right to choose what you eat? #702519vnishmartemmeodMemberHomeowner – just as a helpful note – most if not all bakery challah is made with margarine.
vnishmartemmeodMemberPumpkins are good for a pickin’
And in pies for finger lickin’
But on halloween
Some think it should not be seen
In a nice frum Jewish kitchen
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