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In Skver they have a saying, “if the father in law goes to the kiddush, they make havdala with him”.
How do bonds work? I thought that when interest rates go up you lose money on previously purchased bonds. Is that wrong?
Dunno much but happy to join a conversation.
I agree with RabbiOfBerlin. Ner Yisrael is fairly unique in that there is no official yeshiva ideology set by one person. If it was set by one person, the person wouldn’t be Rabbi Feldman. After he become Rosh Yeshiva, he pretty clearly diverged from the path set by the previous Roshei Yeshiva, R’ Kulefsky, R’ Weinberg, and R’ Ruderman. But most of the hanhala is closer in ideology to the previous manhigim.
Gavra_at_work said: “I have no idea what that means. Mind going back & asking him?”
This is a feature, not a bug.
When I was younger, I had unique opinions but I took it on faith that other people were smarter and I was often wrong. Now I realize that I was right all along.
“Where can I find vidui with additional aveiros?”
I think they give them out as needed, after you do the aveiros.
Shalom bayis based on a lack of tznius is not shalom bayis at all. /my10thgraderebbi
I was married for three years, and when it seemed that it was unlikely to work out, I called the shadchan and had her text my wife. Meanwhile, I was on a plane to Chicago because I had been set up with a girl that sounded incredible – wealthy, beautiful, and smart, while at the same time down to earth and torah-dik.
OP spelled Yeedle wrong.
There is nothing so vapid as a Jewish music lover waxing poetic about Jewish music. Looking at you, Shopping613.
I know someone who died laughing, so no one should ever make a joke.
Interjection, it’s not a statement about whether what they want is legitimate. It’s a statement about being shallow and therefore not getting what they want, or getting a “lesser” version of what they want. I’m also not insulted, either personally or on behalf of my friends. I’m just pointing out that it was a stupid thought process on the part of these girls.
This is the perfect book for people who want to go from an indefinite point where they have not made any concrete progress to a slightly different indefinite point where they have not made any concrete progress!
Whenever I tried drinking away a bad date I inevitably ended up drunk dialing
the shadchan of course.
I agree that Chaim Walder’s books have a common voice, but I was always done l’calf zechus that it is because they are translated.
This thread raises an interesting issue that kind of infuriates me, and I’ve seen it happen more than once. I have two friends who were in Yeshiva until their mid twenties, and then left to go to law school while they were still single. One was in yeshiva with me and was known to be a metzuyan. I got to know the other one later, but he got semichah before he left yeshiva and was moser nefesh to be midakdek in halacha while he was in law school in a God-forsaken town. Both were extremely bright and went to Ivy League law schools.
I attempted to redt them shidduchim several times. I heard from several girls’ families that although their daughter/sister was planning to marry someone who would work after a few years, they were interested only in someone learning full time. I urged them to be a bit more open, since these friends were accomplished masmidim who were well on their way to sufficient parnasah as well. But my suggestions fell on deaf ears.
I don’t know who most of the girls in question ended up marrying, but I know that at least one married a very nice boy who was still learning in BMG at the time they were engaged. He is a fine baal middos, though he wasn’t such a strong lamdan, and in fact was paying a yungerman to learn with him while he was in BMG. A year after the wedding, he was beginning to work in property management.
I have no complaint about the outcome – both of these friends have met their basherts and this girl undoubtedly is married to the husband who was right for her. But I am disgusted by the process, especially since it led her to reject a legitimate talmid chochom in the name of marrying someone who is still in yeshiva.
Oomis, I almost feel like I’ve heard that story before somewhere. Oh, yes, it was on page one of this thread, from two years ago.
Skipping the whole thing is good advice, but it would create s new shidduch crisis, since half of women only get married to have a wedding.
Sober as a judge bro. Lotsa people can’t handle my mad logicizing doe, so don’t feel bad.
Benignuman: Your OP is clever superficially, but it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. The belief in science that we profess every day is different from belief in Torah that is demanded of us (at least in this generation). Belief in science is purely utilitarian. Sure, past performance is not inherently indicative of future results, but I am not proclaiming past performance as king. I am saying that this has worked in the past, and I choose to do it again because I think it will work again. The minute it doesn’t work, guess what happens? I adjust my “beliefs”.
When you talk about believing in the Torah, in contrast, there is no utilitarian explanation. You are inventing both the cause and the effect, and demanding that I believe them. But if someone doesn’t believe that Hashem told him to kiss the mezuzah, and ALSO doesn’t believe that if he kisses the mezuzah blessings will rain down on him from heaven, then he really has no excuse for kissing the mezuzah, unless he believes in a vacuum that the asserted facts are true.
Cat fights?
*starts unintelligent thread*
*limits participation to intelligent statements*
I think it’s like sheidim. If you believe that you have to listen to them, then you have to listen to them.
I hold that eating Chinese food is mamash znus.
Lev Aryeh and The Frum Guy: As someone who has listened to too many arguments on WFAN about whether Eli Manning is an ELITE player, or merely an EXCEPTIONAL player I completely agree that there is such a thing as a bad sports argument. And one of my favorite pet peeves is when someone says “I guarantee that if CC Sabathia had been on the ’97 Yankees, they would have won the world series”, which makes no sense because you can’t guarantee something that is by definition hypothetical.
But there are also many potential good arguments to be had about sports, even arguments that employ hypotheticals. For example, people talk about how a hypothetical player e.g. Declon Thames is not as good as another hypothetical player, e.g. Mike L. Riordan, because he has fewer championships, or because he had to go find other superstars to team up with. But as it turns out, Mike L. Riordan happened to have two other hall of fame players on his team each time he won a championship. At the same time, people say that, e.g. Ike Crown is not a good coach because he’s only ever done anything with Declon Thames on his team. But no well known coach has ever won anything without a superstar on his team (except for a hypothetical coach named Barry Crown, who won with the Michigan Solenoids), and those same people will be quick to tell you that Declon had no supporting cast and that’s why he had to take his talents to East Shore. In that context, hypotheticals can be useful. And as with the visceral pleasure from watching a game, enjoying such arguments need not be defended.
(Singing) I’M SO FRIIIIIIM! I don’t even know who is Derek Jeter! (/singing)
When I was a kid, I used to argue about this all the time – about why it makes sense to follow sports, that is; not about sports. Then as I got older, I realized that not everything has to have an explanation. Some people get immense visceral pleasure from music, others from torturing cats, others from making music that sounds like torturing cats (I’m looking at you, Ludwig). The point is that it’s a visceral, rather than moral experience, so it doesn’t require explanation.
Of course, as with any other form of pleasure, we should choose to pursue the ones that are positive rather than neutral or negative. But that doesn’t mean that it makes sense to fiddle with one’s beard hairs and question wisely and sanctimoniously how it makes sense to care so much about these SHKUTZIM because THEY don’t CARE about YOU!??!? (Thinking of my 11th grade rebbi here, not you.)
The idea (and your question) reflects poorly on our society, but I bet you guys would have fun. I don’t think anyone would sneak in, except for Popa Bar Abba, whom I’ve heard does a very convincing Kate Middleton.
I have never had any benefit from talking to teachers, even those who had a reputation for being good to talk to about particular things. I think that having a good relationship with the advisor is a precursor to getting a meaningful benefit.
And yet, WIY, it seems we do…
There’s no such thing as good furniture anymore.
I think you should bring poor people to your work so that you can give them money during your bored moments.
PBA, your criticism is both inappropriate and incorrect. Supporters of charedim have no right to determine the validity of other people’s concern. But even if they did, it’s simply wrong to assume that the concern comes from some sort of unjustified dislike of charedim.
Nor is this “vilif[ication] of an entire community base [sic] on the misdeeds of a few.” The frum media universally misrepresents what the current government is asking for. The frum media is not “a few”, they are seen to speak for charedi leadership. There is also the often raised but never refuted argument that rabbonim are perfectly capable of standing up for things that bother them, and in fact do so all the time when people do things like ride bikes, get phones with text messaging, and open competing batei din. That no mainstream frum rav has seen fit to address any of the above infractions says something about where their concerns lie.
These ridiculous public lynchings are meant to create the illusion that we have some sort of social justice in this country. As long as there is a media outcry about someone using the N-word, the media can sleep peacefully at night although police are listening in on all your conversations and arresting black men with the assumption that they’ll plead guilty to something to avoid a jury on hyperinflated charges. And the worse the police get, the more outraged the media will be at the stupid football player.
Wait a second, does everyone on this board know each other IRL, except for me?
Jewish feminist, I don’t want to rain on your parade, and I wish your husband the best of luck. But it’s not true that “f you go to a halfway decent law school and get halfway decent grades… you can easily get a job in public interest.”
Unless you define a halfway decent law school as Columbia-Georgetown (following the US News rankings), and even from those schools, it is very difficult to find a job these days. Furthermore, even if it’s true that you could find public interest jobs, a frum family is unlikely to subsist on a public interest salary. Local clerkships are not much better. What opportunities are there for people finishing up local clerkships? It seems to me that other than federal and state supreme court clerkships, they just buy you time to find a random low level job while still collecting (some sort of) paycheck.
Complicating matters further, Biglaw jobs are only viable for a few years because most firms practice some version of “up or out”. The better exit options are in corporate law, at which frum people supposedly have a disadvantage because of shabbos.
Undoubtedly, frum law students can achieve good, even amazing outcomes by going to law school. But equally certain is the massive risk that law school entails for most frum students. Two people with identical abilities, resumes and LSAT scores can work equally hard, get equal grades, and have an equal number of interviews. But because of factors completely outside their control or knowledge, like a firm going under, or an interviewer having already called back two students with yarmulkas, one can be well-to-do and the other begging after five years. This is not a doomsday scenario – it happens all the time.
I have immediate experience in this realm and if your husband wants to contact me he can get my info from Popa Bar Abba.
Well, perhaps the yeshivas that you went to were more sane than the ones I went to. Seems to have worked out for you – now I’m skeptical of everything a rabbinic authority says, and you’re Moish Temimus.
Zahavasdad: Starts debate
Notsuchalamdan: attacks ad hominem, claiming that all Zahavasdad wants to do is rip, rip, rip.
Sounds like maybe your not such a lamdan, bro.
This goes back to the issue that was brought up in passing on the previous page. How many shmuzen do regular yeshiva guys get about how terrible zionism or lubavitch, or YCT are, despite not being shayach to those topics at all? Discussion is a worthwhile endeavor even if it will not directly lead to solving the problem under discussion. For example, in reaction to all the shmuzin I got about lubavitch, zionism, and YCT, I became a lubavitch zionist woman rabbi.
What have you been wearing until now?