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  • in reply to: Aveirah Song #990671

    Full lyrics:

    A song without an introduction

    is like (our school) without production

    Dum dum dum

    My menheles just looked at me and nodded

    i think she wants me to get started

    Testing testing ein svien dri

    I eat cholev yisroel every bite

    My tznisdik skirt is quite a hielege sight

    You think i stack my dishes

    Dont even wonder

    I say tehillim for my grandmother

    I walk behind my bashert

    I say shir hashirim to get married

    I never sing zmiros at the shabbos seuda

    Besides kol isha its a boosha!

    I have a date in the hotel lobby

    Ill so my best to not act snobby

    Every day i get inspired

    Running to shiurim i never get tired

    I spoke to my yeshivishe friend named shprinzta

    She helped me write this little stanza

    We sing it out in a tziniusdik way

    Now listen to what we have to say

    Hes in yeshiva he has no plan

    But thats just how i like my man!

    in reply to: Why Do People Speak This Way? #1008342

    This isnt unique to jews but why do people say i could care less, theyre saying it does matter to them instead on i couldnt care less meaning it doesnt matter

    in reply to: Aveirah Song #990667

    Funny cuz i think it can be just as funny with mitzvos. (Like put in chumros and real mitzvos just like here)

    For a school thing we wrote a mitzva song as a parody

    “A song without an introduction

    Is like (our school) without production”

    “My menaheles just looked at me and nodded

    I think she wants me to get started

    Testing testing

    Ein svien drien

    I do mitzvos dont even wonder

    I say tehillim for my grandmother

    My tznisdik skirt is a hielege sieght

    I say shir hashirim every night”

    “Hes in yehiva he has no plan

    But thats just how i like my man!”

    Im missing lyrics so doesnt completely make sense…but read it in the same yiddish accent and then it sorta rhymes 🙂

    in reply to: Anyone going to camp? #959715

    Syag-

    I WISH!!!! Packed some of my stuff (and now have no clothes to wear lol) but still have tons more to pack. Today was my last day of tests so its the first night i can stop thinking about school 🙂

    Jewishfeminist-

    I was actually going to go to Vegas with a few friends to run the day camp there and stay by a nice chofetz chaim family. But then i got into Nageela so there goes that!

    in reply to: How to Deal with Teenage Baalei Teshuva #959969

    most kiruv shabbatons ive been to the rule is no public chilul shabbos. at an aish shabbaton, i was walking through the halls late friday night and yes i can hear the TV on and radio in other rooms, but barging in and making sure?

    in megillas rus it naomi pushed rus away by explaining all the halachos of yichud and tchum shabbos, etc. paying close attention, after pushing her away exactly 3 times and rus still persisted, naomi did not continue mussairng her with nitty gritty halachos as to not overwhelm her. once someone makes the commitment now we welcome them with open arms and first let them see the beauty before what may seem to “diss” them. save that for when they value the reasons for such delicate halachos. i think you could have let that go….

    in reply to: Famous Rabbinic Personalities #958926

    writersoul

    just curious what was your question?

    in reply to: Teacher appreciation #959380

    Rebdoniel

    Sorry, i didnt specify, she wasnt learning gemara with him, just some seder, not sure what it was but probably something tanach based since that is her area of expertise. Yes i do understand that a moters role is the nurture and love but i find it beautiful that this is how it is expressed. At her table all her children say their sivrieh torah which their rebbe or teacher really prepared. I an see my teacher theough and through as I watch her family question their 9 year old brother and look up his little 4th grade dvar torah in the Rambam to clarify something. Yes, my teacher doesnt HAVE TO instill these values and e the one to bring this into her home but she is doing her job. She nurtures her kids and this is how she does it. They are walking copies of her in the way they think and learn. Is this a bad thing? Should a brilliant woman not instill her love for learning (and when i say learning i mean tanach very very in depth as well as sifrieh mussar)?

    in reply to: Bishul Akum Shaila #958931

    ???? ?? ???

    in reply to: Teacher appreciation #959377

    Jewishfeminist

    Respect yes, but respect as someone to learn with? Who else do you know learns with her 20 year old son?

    in reply to: Famous Rabbinic Personalities #958922

    Awks i meant how many names of gedollim can we all list together

    in reply to: Teacher appreciation #959374

    Ah same here! A teacher and I learn every erev shabbos and another and i already made a deal for this summer.

    One beautiful thing I learned from a teacher was when I was by her for Shabbos and I saw her learning a sefer with her 20 year old son! That just struck me as wow, for a mother to have such respect from her yeshiva bachur son that he finds it worthwhile to learn with her….was beautiful!

    in reply to: Famous Personalities who are Jewish #1027140

    PBT we are in the same boat 🙂

    Somehow my gedollim thread didnt really take off thoigh

    in reply to: Famous Personalities who are Jewish #1027117

    Wait why are we just being proud of all the not frum ones?

    What about our awesomely famous and incredible gedollim to be proud of?

    in reply to: Famous Personalities who are Jewish #1027115

    Adam Sandler (funny observation, Jews are funny! So many comedians are Jews. So many of our speakers are funny…)

    in reply to: Teacher appreciation #959371

    A teacher once said “at a certain point in my life i knew more names of actors and singers than of gedolieh torah.”

    We have a publication in school we put out for yom tov and theres a section which girls quote inspiring things teachers say. So a friend of mine quoted that but wanted to ask her permission before printing. So time went on and we were both under the impression that the other had asked. The day came when the magazines were printed and we both realized neither has asked. I approached the teacher and asked her permission and se said she would rather not since doesnt reflect her class material. I said i was really uncomfortable but it was already printed. Without missing a beat she smiled and said “oh well then bH it was bashert, someone needed to read that!”

    I LOVE HER!

    in reply to: Anyone going to camp? #959696

    dancestar:

    a debate which probably will never end…… for you its oorah for me its nageela. before choosing i spoke to so many people involved in both and conclusion this one was best for me but i am sure girl zone is best for you. i guess i sort of started this little debate though lol

    in reply to: Promoting Shabbos #957994

    thank you ms. critique

    there is a wonderful sefer i learn with a teacher of mine called nefesh shimshom: shabbos maklkusah and r’pikcus goes through all the beautiful aspects of what shabbos really should mean. it’s such a basic yisode but as we all see not really such a part of the newer generation’s lives.

    your grandkid’s school is doing it right but i’m asking now what, kids didn’ get that and now theyre in high school- doing that won’t work anymore we have to step it up, how would you instill the same ruach and love for shabbos to high school students who are lacking it in the first place?

    perhaps kiruv professionals can help out here? how do you get an adult who never kept a shabbos in his/her life to see the beauty of what can potentially be in some people’s eyes as solitary confinement?

    in reply to: To the Recently Married: #957898

    make it or break it for me is a smoker…. thats a conversation i will have to have

    in reply to: Who does V'ahavtah L'reiacha Kamochah Apply to? #958060

    SecularFrummy

    yes you’re right so if you want another thing which won’t help you but connects, i heard rebbetzin heller say something really cool. she said that rabbi akiva says that this is “klal gadol baTorah.” Well Ben Azia says that “Zeh toldos adam, zeh klal gadol baTorah”

    So what does toldos adam mean? it means the generation of the people. so she said that Hashem is infinite and therefore His tzelem Elokim in each of us is just a tiney winey piece of Him, so the only way to fully “get to know” Hashem is by loving all people since every person has a different tiney aspect of Him.

    pretty cool…

    in reply to: Promoting Shabbos #957988

    WIY you actually bring up a good point cuz the way a certain teaches hilchos shabbos is by introdcing the subject by first delineating the arbah misos bais din and explaining EXACTLY what would happen if you happen to be mechalel shabbos and you’re right it does rock cuz skilah here it comes….

    so now my goal is to undo that damage. to most teens shabbos is a boring thing, a time when theyre not with friends, only with themselves and it scares teens since many of them aren’t comfortable with themselves yet. takes some self esteem and awareness to not be afraid of hanging out with yourself. i once came home from a school trip late at night nad my family wasn’t home that night they would be back that sunday morning and my friends were like “you’re gonna be home alone tonight?” and i was fine with it (they werent asknig from a safety perspective but from “omgsh ur gonna be soooo bored”) because theres nothing wrong with having some time to think and be alone (dont worry im not antisocial)

    so anways i digress…. so teens are afraid of shabbos for that reason and really shabbos is a time for growth and sleeping through it is the worst way to spend it….so whats a good way to initiate a program to get that awareness out?

    in reply to: Who does V'ahavtah L'reiacha Kamochah Apply to? #958057

    i heard chevi garfinkel say “everyone talks about viahavta lirayacha kamocha- they should start talking about the kamocha part”

    in reply to: Most important Jewish (Torah) values to impart to your children #958251

    -Hashem LOVES you

    -You are gonna only be compared to yourself

    -Mesillas Yisharim says life is about getting pleasure from Hashem (now the question is how you define pleasure) so as many ppl will say “live by the Torah, don’t kill your self over it” (i.e. make things reeaallly hard for yourself)

    in reply to: Anyone going to camp? #959689

    NAGEELA! (sorry dancestar we’re your competition but know people going it will be amazing for you!)

    in reply to: Looking for deeper meanings to psukim in aishes chayil (Mishlei) #957736

    just had a test on part of eishes chayil.

    just one idea i want to share from rabbi leff. he says “eishes chayil mi yimtzeh?” saying its very rare right? but contradiction “rabos banos assuh chayil” so in class we learned it means that an eishes chayil fulfilled all 18 aspects while a chayil fulfilled some. well rabbi leff said something better (in my humble opinion)

    he says, its rare to find someone who is a natural eishes chayil, but most women assuh chayil- work on it.

    he gave the moshul of an oyster, which sometimes has a pearl and sometimes doesn’t so its a gamble, you open it up and maybe its there maybe its not. how does a pearl come? by sand seaping in and agonizing the oyster- a pearl comes through something unpleasant=> assuh chayil means you change you work on it and yes its hard but its achievable….

    in reply to: Boys school like Ohr Naava? #958416

    By Ohr Naava you’re talking specificlly about Bnot Chaya Academy, The high school? The Seminary is a different ball game.

    in reply to: Struggles with guys #957556

    Guys- can you answer a simple question. When speakers like R’Orlofsky, R’Mechanic, R’Wallerstien, etc come to speak to us girls they bash how terrible guys are amd thats why we shouldnt talk to them….so what do they tell you?

    in reply to: Comments on Tests – for the high school students #957197

    I always read comments. A teacher of mine gives the best comments, she writes things like “yay queens people we are so smart” and stuff. Not all comments have to be corrections, a teacher once wrote she never knew that (in a report i wrote)

    Once a teacher wrote please see me and i did and turns out she loved an example i gabe and has a sefer which connects to that topic. Guess what now we learn it together! Teaching isnt just lecturing and grading and by these teachers i see that more and more

    in reply to: Pictures before or after the chuppah #957079

    What about the minor detail that before the chuppah they cant touch each other so the pictures would be just more vort pics so they take them after the chuppah

    in reply to: Bnos Yaakov High School in Brooklyn #983127

    I met one of their teachers at a Project Inspire Shabbaton. She spoke there and was this adorable lady who i cannot imagine ever not liking. Wish she taught in my school! (Her kids are soooo cute too!) she teaches a class called Drachim, very hashkafa/life skills type of class but fun and interactive too.

    Her motives are very sincere and genuine. She really teaches for the greater good of klal yisroel- she never used to be a teacher, ha a different job but realized te need so went into the field. Cute, approachable, inspiring, the whole package.

    Thats just one teacher but if they had the good sense to hire her maybe the others are just as amazing!

    in reply to: Ten things your teenage babysitter wishes you knew #1098575

    Sorry i am a good babysitter for real i really love kids but there are just some pet peeves especially when you are all “my kids are angels and happy” and then they cry on you for a few hours!

    10) if you want me to feed your kids please have food in the house. (These people lagit have nothing! NOTHING!)

    in reply to: SEED program #953410

    In Bronys defense, its true people have a streotype for frum Jews (especially those who live out of NY and highly Jewishly populated areas. One of the main reasons i wanted to go on SEED was to make that kiddush Hashem of showing people that frum Jews are normal enjoyable people to be around. Its about making commections with a whole family and community. Thats one thing i like

    More vs just being im a camp like Oorah or Nageela…

    in reply to: Writing and Sniut #953124

    Lol thanks for pointing that out. Thank G-d for the proofreaders!

    in reply to: Non-Jewish Music #953583

    Funny, i went through the same thing recently.

    For me it was a machshava for a while but something i was scared to vioce since i knew once i said t outloud i would have to follow through.

    For me what happened was i was sitting in the train my non jewish music blasting in my ears and i was contemplating a shiur i was on the way home from. And thats when it started to make no sense! Im thinking about this relationship i want to have with Hashem and at the same time listening to some guy sing about some superficial relationship he has with a girl?

    So i pulled my headphones out of my ears and went the rest of the ride silently. Untill i got a chance to delete my iTunes library and put jewish music on i just never took headphones with me anywhere. I once heard Charlie Harary say “you have to burn the bridge” meaning you have to make sure you have no way back. For me cold turkey worked though i know a lot of people say take small steps.

    Yeah its still hard. When you’re in a store and that song is playing and it used to be your favorite its hard! I cant say i hate non hewish music and have no taayva for it. But as someone said above, your taste does end up slowly changing. You know there is some really enjoyable jewish music out there too!

    Good luck!!!!

    in reply to: Writing and Sniut #953121

    Me and you are in the same boat:)

    I write random articles for the Jewish Press and have a serial in my community’s local jewish paper. My mother was a little uncomfortable with me taking this position as a young girl so she really wanted me to use a pen name but i felt that this is who i am and how i want to be identified so i dont care if people read and know its me.

    Sometimes i do feel funny when i write an inspiring article on some hashkafic topic and people way older than me are reading it and they dont know how old i am so it doesnt matter but theres still that funny feeling of me inspiring people decades older than me!

    But the important thing is Hashem gave me this opportunity and He gave it to you as well. Take it!!!!!!! Oppurtunites dont come every day. If its really something which bothers you the. Like someone said use a pen name but if you really have the time and will power take it! (Or i can lol;) )

    Good luck!

    in reply to: Women Shtieging on Shavuos #951677

    all those against women learning stam, take that up with sara schnier, as far as im concerned there is NO problem with women learning tanach and yes even with the meforshim. oh wait maybe there is a problem….well there goes like those hundreds of bais yaakovs all over the world. you’re right we sit and stare at the walls and call it learning…

    i wasn’t asking if women should be learning gemara all night and getting down that hard sugya- but for a woman to love the Torah which defines our nation is such a problem?

    PBT- thank you thank you, totally agree with you! Rebbetzin Heller. Rebbetzin Jungries. Rebbetzin Assaf. Rebbetzin Twerski. Rebbetzin Anyone- they don’t pick a sefer up in their lives!

    in reply to: Women Shtieging on Shavuos #951665

    agree with all you guys, i always hear people saying things like, “its not a women’s chiyuv, they don’t need to.” So i just wanted to see what people’s opinions are since cummon, on the night of matan torah=the epitome of judaism go that extra mile and show Hashem you care and love what we have…like if we are always in line with what we are “chayiv” to do it’s like well that’s all judaism means to you? a list of rules???

    So women all over the world, it doesn’t mean we have to literally sit with a gemara all night long, but maybe just a few hours after the meal take the megillas rus and read through it with some meforshim, read a nice english sefer, go to a shiur, set together with some other women for a little while. We are the only religion in the world who has something so unique. they all chase some guy who woke up one morning with some crazy idea. we have a mesorah! we have the truth, why not show some pride?

    Happy Shtieging!

    in reply to: Letter circulated in Brooklyn about Motzei Shabbos hangouts #950840

    @squek

    Im not saying there isnt anything wrong with the motzieh shabbos theme. Dont worry i would be the first one to vote agaisnt girls and guys hanging out!

    The thing is that by usin threats and force they arent going to stop the situation. There is obviously something much deeper which is wrong. I dont know, im no rocket scientist but usually you look for the root of a problem to get rid of it. The root isnt that these kids dont realize their menhahel disapproves! The root is much much much deeper, probably touching things like messed up chinuch, hashkafos skewed in their mind, lack of loving teaching ingraining these values in them, etc.

    By using negative reinforcment they accomplished 3 things:

    1) made kids who already dont love Judaism and Rabbis HATE rabbanim

    2) made kids put their parents on the black list if they arent already on it since now its not just their Rebbbe giving them mussar but their parents telling them where to go

    3) moved the hangouts to somewhere else

    I dont see anything fixed by this, do you?

    in reply to: Nerves Before Speaking #950299

    writersoul- i beg to differ, public speaking is NOT a waste of time of a class. there is sooo much to know about speaking and there is no way to even dream up half of what goes into it. I never thought i was a bad speaker till i took public speaking and woah i now notice sooooooooooo much more the things speakers do which are really not so great. can’t say im an incredible speaker yet but i improved a ton from taking that class and think everyone whether theyre going to be public speakers or not should take such a class- just general communication skills, you know?

    in reply to: Letter circulated in Brooklyn about Motzei Shabbos hangouts #950834

    I just dont understand how threatening people will stop the issue. I usually have a great respect for Rabanim

    But I dont understand. They didnt stop anyone from talking to the opposite gender since every kid will just find a different way to do it and getting a letter isnt going to be a miraculous “oh yes i totally didnt realize i was doing something so different but thank you rabbis now i realize.”

    All they accomplished is have these kids continue and on top of that hate rabbanim

    in reply to: Drug addicts in yeshiva #951334

    Question to the OP: if you’re writing a book for teens wouldnt you need to be very familiar to their lifestyles? Doesnt seem like you do if you need to ask about the realistic level of your example? I mean no offense, just curious…

    in reply to: Describing Differences Between Jews #973558

    Please please please dont describe our religion through Christianity!

    Ummm we just interpret the Torah differently? We stem from different roots so different traditions remain? I dont know but just not the baptist route…makes no difference to them anyways so its imporatant to make sure you give off a positive answer since ultimately thats their understand forever…

    in reply to: R Avigdor Miller Shiurim #943594

    Torayanytime.org has pretty much anyone and tons of free downloadable shiurim! You can watch/listen/download (probably cant watch r’miller but in general) and its all free (though they can use donations so not a bad idea!)

    in reply to: Rebbetzin Heller #943592

    Wow! Sounds incredible! Thanks for all this information!

    (She really is an incredible speaker- how in earth is she giving 3 speeches in a row??? WOW!

    Anyone know of anythin perhaps in the evening during the week? More in the heart of flatbush? Queens?

    Thanks!

    in reply to: Ideas for Elective Classes? #935928

    my school is offering “foundations of lifecouching” this coming year…thats interesting one!

    in reply to: Gateshead #935687

    amosphere in streets is unpleasant because of the very open antisemitism there which bH we dont get in the US as much.

    if i would want to apply for next year where do i get more info and application and stuff?

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1182377

    Chloqueen- check out rabbiyy.com or theshmuz.com those are two rabbanim i know for a fact care about their students! They both will take time out of their busy schedules and talk to you as much as you need. Email them that you want to talk and im sure they will answer you. I am in touch with both.

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1182368

    True when it comes to those kind of questions the answers arent so satisfactory…as i said beause really if you just take away all the results of te problem theres no way to actually fix it properly…if you get killed for asking a question ask rabbanim these questions about emunah, they have great answers for that…

    And WIY what i was saying what as teens thats our biggests thing agianst that because its a rationalization and that its not right aince at the end if the day we are being close minded, not saying anything about what any ine actually is and as you said it is off topic

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1182361

    Wow- im 16 actually…but its different maturity wise with girls…

    S1- k so heres my theory: we are all so aguanst “yeshivish” ppl..whats their crime? Being CLOSE MINDED! So my theory is that your religous level and close mindedness dont have to corralate… So in realty, arent we bein so closeminded of them???? We have to see where they are coming from and we hve to be open to hearing their side of it and we have to be open to listen.

    What helped me change? Well honestly i said this beforebut it was actually asking! I decided i have nothing to lose if i ask all those questions and guess what it helped!

    I have dedicated a lot of my time to help friends in similar situations… I always tell girls that taking on a kabbala such as “i am no longer going to talk to guys” is plain stupid. The yetzer hara LOVES situations like that. He knows where we are weak and its basiaclly like going on a no carb diet which works for a few weel amd suddenly youre off and gain it all back!

    You’re stopping the little effects of the true root of the problem. Theres a root much deeper amd it results in us talking to guys, listening to not jewish music, watching movies, etc. Stopping those wont help since the actual problem isnt THAT! The problem is a lack of connection and a lack of belief.

    I stopped talking to guys like 80 times. It didnt work a million times. What changed?

    So at one point last year i was already bein called “rebbetzin” but i noticed at some point i sort of platoued…i got to a point but wasnt going higher anymore…then i got into a mess with the guy i was talking to and i stopped tlking to him…and magic! I started to grow more. And now whe. The yetzer hara creeps into my mind at night saying “wasnt that a joke u wudve txtd him?” Im like “yeah but as much as i could just go find his number i dont want to cuz wen i talk to him hes basiaclly a spiritual barrier and hes holding me down at a certain level” theres NOOO way to grown past a certain poin if you talk to him. The meas is all cleaned up and amd any day i could text him but i dont even want to…

    See just stopping cuz i was caught up in the whole elul spirit is t enough… If you want to fully understand how the yetzer hara plays mind games with you i would really reccomend to reach “bate plans” by rebbetzin tziporah heller and sara yocheved rigler.

    Emunah issues are a normal thing for girls our age…its not thinking too deaply its just cLled having your head skrewed on! I dont know whats normal in your school, mine is pretty open so asking these questikns dusnt get you in trouble. Most schools have Rabbi Mechanic come in 11yh grade and he answers basic questions like “how do we know we are right and theyre wrong?” “How do we know God exists?” So if you are in 11th grade the. Look foward! I am deinately excited!!! If youre past that then review your notes or maybe his approach wasnt it and there are ither rabbanim with different answers…for me my rav did it for me because hes not your typical long beard rabbi. He is so full of personality and life and can relate to everyone and he was just a ray of light cuz i realized being frum doesnt equal being in a box… If youre younger than me im just gonna say that around 10/11th gr we really grow up, by that point if you still tlk to guys youre probably going to continue and i you stop its cuz u rlly changed. Most my friends did the guy thing in 9/10th but by the end of 10th either stopped or are off completely or from modern families…

    You seem to WANT the truth so thats good…wanting to want is. Huge step and ur past that alreay!

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1182354

    Well i wasnt nearly as off and many other people who have answered similar kinds of posts sound like they were

    .1) I was still in a bais yaakov and most of my friends were bais yaakov girls. That was one of the amazing aspects. I had friends who cheered me kn for thr tiniest things i did. From 9th grade till now, looking back i was no tzadiekes though they made me feel like i was the best person they knew. But b”H there were times when they were honest and harsh but its always different coming from a friend vs a parent.

    2) i still was OPEN to hearing it…see i find amongst some of mu friends that they ask and challenge not bc they are looking for an amswer but because they want to prove it wrong. So when my teacher stTts answering they dont even listen of think about what shes saying. Many teens have some hashkafa problem but they dont neccasarily want to fix it=> the problem sort of valiadates them not doing it and if they do get it answered then they will have to stop.

    So i wasnt scared of hearing the answers. That was another saving grace. My friend reccomended me a rav and i emailed him. My major “problem” was boys and not really a question if belief, as the guys i talked too. Youd be surprised how muh hashkafa they learnt from me. My rav sort of helped me through the whole stage. It was LONG i was on and off from elul through purim (with the main guys) and then till shvuos with another one who i just kept rationalizing as “doesnt count”

    I wasnt scared to read the books and hear the speeches, but i know many people are, i thibk i posted this before but someone in school said “im afriad they are going to inspire me.” AFRAID!

    And i just got so caught up in te shuirim and sforim and i sort of had less time for the movies and tv- no i didnt just stop it just wasnt a priority. And i eas thibkibg about it this elul and came to the conclusion if uts not a priorty and i can go so ling without it without noticing till im sick in bed and bored then what do i need it fir at all? And the music i stopped bc i was on my way home from a shuir and listening to music and it felt wrong to listen to this shtus right after such an amazing teshuva drasha so i had recorded the speech on my phone so i listened to it the whole subway ride and the next thing i knew i deleted my entire itune lubrary amd stared over…

    Im not sure how the whole fire thing works bottom line, bc there were times i couldnt control my yetzer hara but its still in me now though i feel like the taayvos for all the past things it drove me to are gone…but then there are so many ither areas it tries tripping me up.

    So i dont know and really it wont be something you can do.

    My parents had little to do with it they just started to realize what i was doing now that i stopped…

    I dont think this really helps since my situation is sooooo different but alll i want to say is that the yetzer hara can be defeated as long as theres a will inside to fight it…and u cant put the will inside your son he has to put it in himself

    Have a restful Sukkos and you are so lucky to be in Eretz Yisroel for the yom tov!!!

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1182343

    Wow stuff sounds intense…one thing i want to add is there is never anyway to tell how our teenager minds work and what the yetzer hara tells us…dont try getting into your sons motives and thought processes usually it doesnt make sense!

    So last year it was elul and the whole vibe just got to me and i decided talking to guys is wrong. I call up the guy who frankly i had my life planned out with and had a very long conversation about it and ended pur relationship. Somehow succos came and suddenly i found myself at his house. But i’m a good girl i dont talk to him and it was on and off. Evryother month it was yes or no.

    I cant even describe the feeling. I had a bad day and just want to talk to him but i wont. And im lying in bed and my yetzer hara is like “who are you kidding you know you want to talk to him. You did it to yourself just call him whats the big deal??” And the hardest part is trying to answer that when honestly you have no answer.

    There are so many things going on in a teenagers mind its so hard to do the right thing and thats not an excuse but if he came for neillah that means that was the one second his yetzer tov answered back well…it means he has something hot and fiery inside flickering and yearning to grow into a hige flame but at the same time theres too manny winds smoldering the little sparks.

    Every fire is fed with twigs and then gradually bigger pieces of wood…dont throw a log too big at once…obviously there is something inside so let him e the one to feed the fire…just show you let him play with matches and support him no matter what

    Guess what, i havent spoken to that guy since purim time! Thats a long stretch! Why? Because im in a different place right now…im not a lonely girl in love but im a girl with values and a reason to live! With a connection to a religion!

    Give him a little time…its so hard and i cant inagine what its like and i daven for your son and the many other people in the same situation!

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