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The husband generally doesnt have a minhag how to light candles. Why would the new wife adopt her husband’s mother’s minhag?
OOmis its simple. You dont like fleishigs in the morning because it would make you felishigs for most of the waking day. You wouldnt be able to have a regular coffee etc… (and as a result after years of avoiding mean in the morning the idea of eating meat doesnt sit well)
Goyim obviously dont have this concern thus grow up eating “fleishigs” for breakfast.
I would go for the more traditional milchigs meal instead of the modern fleishigs.
WIY, Unless you are fasting Shabbos day, you do in fact eat lunch.(As you should be so don’t feel bad)
nem621
Aderaba! In Al hanisim all we mention is the military victory there is no mention of the nes pach shemen. (At best there is an indirect mention of “vehidliku neiros bechatzros kodshecha” but the thust is clearly on military)
DY, agreed!
So technically as Live right heard on the news that “we celebrate Hannukah to commemorate the strength and bravery of the Maccabim” Is in fact correct, as Ive pointed out to him/her. Although granted that it reeks of “kochi v’otzem yodi”
DY Not quite, (though we may be arguing semantics)
Thanking Hashem for the military victory is inherently celebrating military strength.
Lets use the nes pach shemen as an example since it is less politically charged.
would you say
“Thanking Hashem for the oil lasting 8 days is completely different than celebrating the oil lasting 8 days.” (I’m using your words
I absolutely did ask him, and this is what he said and I quote verbatim:
?. ???? ??? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ?? ????? ????? ??? ??? ????? ???? ????? ????? ??????. ????? ??? ?????? ????????? ?????? ????? ????? ?? ????? ????? ??????. ??? ??? ?????? ??? ?????? ?????? ??? ???? ?? ????? ????? ???? ??????? ??????? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ??????? ?????? ??????? ?????? ??????? ????? ???? ??????? ??? ?? ?????? ????? ????? ?????? ??? ?? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ????:
?. ??????? ????? ?? ??????? ?????? ??”? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ????? ??? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ??????? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ???? ?? ????? ????? ??????? ??? ????:
?. ????? ?? ?????? ????? ?????? ???? ????? ????? ???? ???? ?????? ?”? ?????? ??? ???? ????
…
Becasue of the above (ie the military victory and the nes pach shemen) we celebrate days of SIMCHA and halel.
Live right, I did ask a rabbi. His name is Rabbi Moshe Ben Maiman. You dont need to be a yeshiva bachur to hear what he has to say. His works are available in English, even online.
Sorry it was meant for Liveright (Thogh you agreed so feel free to answer too)
s/he said “did you guys all know that we celebrate Hannukah to commemorate the strength and bravery of the Maccabim???? that’s what they’ve been saying on the news. so if you agree, go talk to a rabbi. whos Orthodox”
To which I replied:
I did know that; it is a beferish Rambam. See the very first 3 halachos on chanuka. Why, did you have another more “correct” celebration in mind that isnt mentioned in the Gemara or Rishonim?
LAB
I did know that its a beferish Rambam, the very first 3 halachos on chanuka. Why did you have another more “correct” celebration in mind that isnt mentioned in the Gemara or Rishonim
um cherrybim chazal made the connection, Im not sure why your rav didnt pick up on it.
The theme of chanuka is, as we say in al hanissim, “lehodos ulehalel” Which roughly translated mens to GIVE THANKS and praise
I do
I heard from R’ Reisman beshem R’ Tzadok of lublin That why is the best thing we can do to cool off gehenom, you’d think by being so careful youd’ avoid gehenom?
He explained these people are very annoying so they are going to gehenom, but because it is leshem shomayim as a reward it is cooled off
Here to help!
“What the heck is a Chinese auction”
Its when “bidders” buy raffles for a chance to win the prizes, thus they arent actually bidding n anything.
“and how exactly are they Chinese?”
They arent
” Do the Chinese traditionally practice this form of auction”
No
“(which might mean it’s a practice of the goyim therefore some might think that we should abstain”
It wouldnt, but anyway it isnt
Once you are financially comfortable enough that you (and your children) are not a burden on society/others then it is appropriate to learn half a day and work half a day
WIY
with 800,000 + people at the levaya the odds of there being a few loons is 100%
Jewishness, 2 things
1) There are many Jewish values I’m not sure why you are focussing on two particular ones. Open a navi They didnt spend the bulk of their time preaching about the values you focus on. Helping the poor almanos, etc comes first.
2) The torah does not consider abortion murder, thats the catholic view.
To answer OP’s question:
No, sadly
Im not saying those people are right, but your argument is silly.
why do people say Lam instead of lamb or wimen instead of women
chest pain that lasted a week wont get you seen in the Er right away. In their view (rightly or wrongly) If it waited a week it could (and will) wait several more hours. You will probably get an EKG right away someoe will glance at it and asuming their are no obvious changes (which is most likely the case) You will have a long wait. You are better off going to your PMD.
Yes to almost all your questions.
There is a wide spectrum of orthodox jewry out there. It doesnt sound like yeshivish is for you.
Be happy for your friend. Mazel tov! what is done is done, now they are getting married wish them the best.
May they build a bayis neeman biysiroel.
As for your kids if their old enough to ask they are old enough to know. Doesnt mean its a good idea B”H it worked (so far) for them may it continue.
I think you overpaid. My esrog came with a free cardboard case. And I have a lulav case that probably cost $2.
This discussion is absurd. Of course the Gemara is roundabout and long winded. If you want to see what an abridged version of the gemara would look like turn to the back look at the similarly laid out pages written by the Rif. Part of what he is doing is removing the shkla vetarya and leaving just the conclusions behind.
If he doesnt like the “give and take” (depending on his age)encourage him to learn something more direct. PErhaps halacha is more his cup of tea. There si a big Torah out there, there is somehting for everybody
doverin
According to almost all kofin doesnt mean you can force, it means beis din.
secondly speaking of midas sedom, please dont justify trespassing. You are in a rush and dont care about rules governing private property? Gezuntehiet. Please dont drei the Torah to justify it
Since Tashlich is a Minhag performed, how can one be over gezeila [an Issur mi’d’Orraisso] by parking on someone’s private property, just to fulfill a Minhag of Tashlich?
That’s funny 147 I for one cant fathom how anyone can compare an eruv tavshilin which occurs at most a few times a year to eating a daily breakfast
Im glad we can agree. I’d end with the following:
This isnt about which is worse, neither to society and certainly not to the indiviudal (even sight seen I’d feel uncomfortbale saying who was suffering more). The discussion is about which is more terrifying and to that end I’d say cancer is both because it’s prevelance (proably incidence is what is really terrifying) as well as how it affects all age groups. This is part of why the mere mention of the disease sends fear into anybody’s heart probably more so than other diseases and why some in our community wont even mention it.
Writer soulit doesnt need one. The question was whetehr it was warrented or if cancer just another disease like pneumoina or depression.
To that end I pointed out that cancer (actusally a collection of different diseases) is worse than other diseases for two reasons discussed earlier. ESRD is not among the leading causes of death in children while the boy you know is obviously a very sad case it has no relevance to the two points i mentioned earlier
writersoul, what differentiates cancer is one its pervasive nature (which is cheating because cancer is more of a group of diseases than a disease, it is more comparable to kidney disease than to ESRD.) Cancer is among the leading causes of death in ALL age groups. ESRD isnt nor are ALS depression and other diseases mentioned thus far.
PErhaps what causes cancer to stand out even more than the above is how it often will presnt with vague or even no symptoms. Nobody wakes up one day and has ESRD it is a long process of kidney faiure (generally). Some cancers such as pancreatic cancer present as vague abdominal pain perhaps some weight loss, and next thing an otherwise healthy 50 year old is told he has(on average) less than a year to live. I dont think it is ahrd to understand why this helps make the thought of cancer terrifying to the point that it has this stigma associated with it.
Im not saying it is good that it has this stigma, but that it is understandable and even deserved
moi
“cancer is just like any other sickness. “
while a nice sentiment, however it is simply not true. Unfortunately I have had to tell quite a few people that they have cancer. Not once has the reply been “Oh so you mean its like I have pneumonia but different”
charlie so support is ok but not critiscm? I think that is a double standard.
Does this rule apply to all countries or just Israel? Was it ok to protest the former USSR’s refusal to allow Jewish Emigration or if I felt strongly should I have emigrated to teh Soviet Union and gotten involved in politics there?
Of course people can and SHOULD speak up when they oppose a foreign governement’s decision or policy. This is true of any country and any policy.
Charlie, “If American Jews feel that strongly about things, they should make aliyah and get involved in politics in Israel” Did you feel the same way in 2001 when several hundred thousand americans showed support for Israel? Why the double standard
mdd
You are cute, and I suppose you expect anybody to beleive that you oppose gay marriage, becasue you care so much about goyim and want to avoid their destrcution.
LOL
whats in a name, Obviously what you are saying is the truth.
I think this is part of what scares us (as perhaps it should), to the younger genration it isnt even a debate. Gay marriage is a done deal maximum ten years. The way we (well most of us) view interrarcial marriage is how our children will view gay marriage. This is a problem since it is called Toeiva so while of course there is nothing technically that would change if they are “married” or not, the issur mishkav zachar is completly independent of whether they c;aim they are “married” it is the accepting attitude that is fueling the misguided battle.
A greta example of this shift is opinions on “dont ask dont tell” It was originally suported by Democrats and opposed by Republicans who wanted a ban. a little over a decade later it is supported by Republicans and opposed by Democrats. The tide is shifting and unstopable and scares many.
Gitmishege
1&2) not always for many it is non-jewish babysitter vs job (To be clear not for me)
3) If you had real stories or even one as anecdoatal and silly as it may be to genaralize based on it, you would have a point (though you would still be wrong.)To generalize based on what you “are sure of” is beyond absurd and speaks volumes about the understatement that is your name.
Gitmishege
1&2) not always for many it is non-jewish babysitter vs job (To be clear not for me)
3) If you had real stories or even one as anecdoatal and silly as it may be to genaralize based on it, you would have a point (though you would still be wrong.)To generalize based on what you “are sure of” is beyond absurd and speaks volumes about the understatement that is your name.
mdd
Dont speak for all, Ive asked many in “Torah-true” TM communities all have replied along the lines of “Oh that is different of course we must protect free speach yada yada yada”
(Be wary of no true scotsman before you reply)
Another thing, Im not sure how amny frum people are actually pro-gay marriage.
I for one have been accused of being progay marriage, while actually I am merely not anti. I dont think it is our buisines and Im not sure how much resources (if any) it is worth expending to at the MOSt delay the inevitable by a year or two (maximum 5)
“I am sure there are countless stories where Yiddishkeit has been jeopardized because of the nanny”
Well if git mishege is sure I guess frum people should just quit their jobs and hope for the best
I’m curious how many would support a law calling for birchas hashem to be illegal?
DY
That’s crazy if course it won’t. I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I thought it would.
The disagreement was two fold: 1. whether ignoring the fact that with 300 dates for 115 girls, many still suffer from “infrequent dating” by adding more guys two not date those girls would help at all. And 2 if it is at all logical/realistic (as opposed to simplistic) to view the dating field as a stagnant field with x number guys and girls, and then the doors being locked with nobody in or out.
Of course the 2 are linked.
Girls going first was just one idea to even the dating field and try to resolve the “infrequent dating” suffered by many, in spite of the fact (and this is key) that there are more than enough dates to go around. If it won’t help, fine let’s try something else I am not invested in this one point.
DY
I havent denied it because although it doesnt seem true to me, since I assume there is some truth to it since it is assumed by so many to be a given.
What exactly do you need explained, I think I have explained it in detail, but I am happy to explain it to you again
DY
ARe you saying every talmud chacham is smarter and more logical than every body else about evertything? what a strange demonstrably wrong notion, in fact this very example proves your notion wrong (or that they are not actually talmidei chachamim)
BTw you can claim you are not appealing to authority but you are whether you mean to or not, otherwise leave refrences to unnamed talmidei chachamim and gedolim out..
At any rate it doesnt matter since I completly reject the notion that two unamned talmidei chachamim understand this better than I. In fact in this situation it is laughable since the “age gap” is simplistic silliness
DY
how did you get “not value their opinion” from what I said?
I asked do they (the two that you claim agre with the age gap “theory” understand demographics better than most? human psyche? what is it that gives them a bar hachi on the age gap theory more than me?
DY
“I think if he disagreed, he shouldn’t gave signed, and your one exception doesn’t indicate to me that the rest of the signatories were similarly disingenuous”
I am sorry but you did in fact call the R”Y of one of the biggest yeshivas in america “disingeneous” you only denied that the others were “similarly disingenous”
As to appeal to authority, Unless you mean The Ribono shel olam you have the wrong religion, every gadol in the world could support the “age gap,” they dont as ive pointed out, it wouldnt make it any more true. And certainly random “talmidei chachamim” agreeing with it wont make it true.
My point in bringing up the anecdote with my R”Y was not just to stress his opinion but the general metzes, he didnt just say HE thought it was silly, but that ANYONE who bought it was “simple minded” He assumed (or Knows) that the other signatories dont buy it either, as I dont think he wouldve called the all “simpleminded”
(This is assumption on my part since I didnt ask him specificly what he thought his colleague’s opinion on this silliness was)
DY
Im confused calling gedolim simpleminded is not ok but disingenious is?
I dont get you reference to the two talmidie chachamim. Do they have a better grasp on demographics than most? On human psyche? What expertise do they bring to the table?
And even if they did how is this anything more than an appeal to authority?
DY
Im sorry I didn’t recall that. I just assumed you agreed with articles you cited. Please accept my apologies.
As for Gedolim, one of the signers told me “of course it is nonsense and only simplistic people would think otherwise” He went on to explain that if signing it would help some of those “simplistic” (his word) people who buy into the “age gap” get over their hangup about age then what is the harm
(He completly disagreed with my concern of pushing immature boys to get married).
MY point being that just because they sign it doesnt mean they buy it.
After all why would they, unless you think they are “simplistic”
DY
Feel free to change your mind, when you relaize your position is untenable but please dont accuse me of doing somehting wrong.
Here is the EXACT introductory quote from the article YOU cited “It is the best of times and the worst of times in the world of shidduch dating. Anecdotal evidence suggests that most single men in the various circles of Orthodox Jewry today have long lists of potential shidduchim and continuous dating opportunities. At the same time, many single women struggle with short lists and relatively infrequent dating. This imbalance represents a looming tragedy within the community as ever-increasing numbers of women are marrying later in life or not getting married at all. But what’s behind it?”
This was his indtroductory comment to a peice on the “shidduch crises” This is how he identified the crises. I do not recall you ever disagreeing with the very identification of the crises in the article YOU yourself cited in support of your position. (at least not until much later,)
It may not be how you defne the crises (at least not anymore), but it clearly is how Halpert defines it.
DY
Early in the last discussion on the subject you guoted a lengthy article by an Ariel Halpert, he defined the crises as “At the same time, many single women struggle with short lists and relatively infrequent dating.” At the time you agreed (or pretended too).
You can now call this angle a “narrow definition” That does not make it less true, and there is absolutely no way to solve the next step (marriage) while skipping the first (dating.
No chidushim here, we discussed this at length last time.
Just because Roshei Yeshiva support it doent mean they agree with it. Ones supporting Rosh yeshiva told me “of course it is nonsense and only simplistic people would think otherwise” He went on to say that NAsi would only help obviously people shouldne be caught up on age (or any of seeral other silly hangus) If this will reomve an obstacle form some girls getting dates then great! The quoted part is an exact quote rest is paraphrasing)