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When he got home he had a message waiting on his machine from about 12:45 PM. It was a person who sells sheitals, whom he had sent his wife to buy herself a shaital (before she left). His wife paid, but never picked it up. She wanted to return the money.
Exact price/refund: Seven hundred and fifty dollars. He had me listen to the message.
I figured I may as well throw out a divorce story after knocking divorces..
BTW, where do you get your statistics on divorce? You talk about it a lot. Please bring a source that shows that shidduch marriages last longer (just because you threw it out there).
Lets see. What is the divorce rate in Western society? 44-55%
Is that true about those who go through Shidduch dating?
aries2756
TBT, did I say I don’t like shidduch dating? Where did I say that???????
What are you saying here?
That is probably one of the problems with shidduch dating. If two people meet on their own and like each other they usually don’t find these things out until they have already become friends and realize they want more than a friendship. By that time they know the whole person and don’t look at them as a disease. It just comes along with the territory.
On the other hand, with shidduch dating, you turn over every stone to get the scoop on the prospect and their family so if one toe is longer than the other you will know about it and nix the shidduch.
We are illogical when it comes to these things.
aries2756:
You may not like shidduch dating. That’s fine. Please do realize that the divorce rate is much lower amoungst those who do shidduch dating. People meeting on their own may be more “open minded” about whom they date (and marry), but are much more closed minded about with whom they STAY married to.
I am a mandatory reporter and I have, and will continue in the future to report distribution of alcohol to those under 21. Even on purim.
Two rights (wrights) may have made an airplane, but two wrongs do not make a right
However, it is really not a worthwhile root for those who have not divorced. Almost all regret the divorce.
s2021: Hello. On other threads you’ve mentioned that you are unfortunately divorced. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out for you. May you merit much happiness in the future.
I feel very uncomfortable attacking divorces, on your thread, when it may cause you pain.
I’d rather be someone sure of him/her self. What does brains add. What do ‘a million’ friends add.
Agreed. Being able to utilize/maximize our unique abilities Hashem has created us with, is really the right and biggest blessing. We are each unique in our own way.
Billions of people on the world. Yet, no two look exactly alike. So too, says the Gemora, do no two people think alike. I’d understand that, that no two people have exactly the same abilities either.
mechanech: Please state your name. Anonymously making a funny (at best) statement does not give it credibility.
Dr. Meir Wikler, amongst many others, writs very differently in his parenting books.
Most posters can tell you from both, personal experience as well as common sense, that children of divorced are usually (vast majority of the time) worse off.
complicated: Some Sephardim. It was/is an horoas shoe, temporary decree, to fight off a specific problem. The reality is, that those Sephardic communities that instituted it were B”H able to reverse assimilation amongst them… The others..
lol mbachur. I dooped out on this one
Time to bring up the thread about too much coffee
randomone: Well said
Shmuel294: someone can respect others while not respecting hashem
How many of those who respect humans respected us, at all, during the terrible holocaust?
All Mitzvos are because Hashem commanded us. They are just categorized differently when we describe them..
Good Rabbi: Why do jou write CrC? Its cRc
Right on top of the four blue threads, to the left, it says ‘add new’. click on it
There was horrific abuse involved, and I’m glad they divorced before I was old enough to remember any of what happened.
How do you know?
OK sorry.
The second part just adds to the inherent difference between a first or second marriage for woman, and her husband…
The famous gemorah that the second Bays Hamikdosh was destroyed due to sinas chinom
“Lo chorvo Yersholayim ela mipnay shelo hochichu zeh es zeh”
“Lo chorvah ________ ela mipnai shhemidu divrayhem al din Torah”
Besides, the mizbeach is “morid alav dmaos”, “lets down tears on him”. It doesn’t say that it cries for her.
Popa, you flew over my head this time. (Admittedly, not the first).
Are you suggesting that divorce is not tragic for a woman? The Gemora also mentions a huge huge difference in the way a woman will, by nature, value a second marriage.
You also mentioned how a divorced woman can be a fulfillment for ones adulterous desires.
Why are they opting for this profession? Its a profession that can achieve good, or be abused. The reason for choosing it, as well as personal strength of both husband and wife must be considered
This is all in a frum culture. In a goyeshe culture, well, it just depends on the lifestyle you value. The outcome though, is obvious.
reason for the rise is that people are no longer willing to stay inabusive marraiges now that much of the stigma is gone
Lets see: In western civilization, the divorce rate is over fifty percent. The more conservative civilizations are much less. The Hollywood relationship failure rate is about 87%.
By your deduction, western civilization breeds abusers and spouses more susceptible to abuse. OK.
So the more liberal one is, the more likely they are to abuse. Hmm.
Does this math add up?
Brooklyn Yenta: Do you really believe that the ever rising divorce rate is justified, or mostly justified? I don’t (not discussing individual cases)
mdd: That just adds to the terrible tragedy of divorce. Not only will the Mizbeach cry, now he can’t even have another marriage worthy of having the Mizbeach cry! That’s an even greater tragedy.
(Although more difficult, many second marriages DO work)
One day RCV announced mazal tov, the shidduch went through. Asked how he knew and for an explanation, he said the Mishanh says:????? ???????? ??????? ??????, ????? ????????? ????? ???????? ??????? ????????? , he said he subdued his entirely to Hashems in regards to the shidduch, and hasham didd likewise to the mothers… They did get married
kapusta:
The shidduch threads are often full of hope. These are more full of gloom
Brooklyn Yenta: before anyone takes a drastic step like divorce, they think it through very thoroughly.
If people really thought it through, they would figure out a way to do it much more peacefully and expediently. Its usually a whimsical decision of “enough already. I’m going for the greener pastures on easy street”.
I don’t think you have to spend much at all. If the purpose is to increase kinship and friendship, then spending more for less people, or minimal for more people, id go with minimal for more people.
make sure to concentrate only on the musts
And I’d add: Clarify the musts to yourself.
Parents who feel that divorce is the only solution should really be careful about it will effect their children.
he told me he wants to marry me the second time we went out
s2021: Read up about it. See what the frum shrinks say
mdd: If the Mizbeach cries, I would assume its quite a tragedy.
The statistics of what it can do to kids are not so good. Of course many kids do survive and come out strong, but if it can be avoided it should.
Read what the experts say
Very rarely is divorce justified
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/profile/foodluver
Did you post under a different name?
You want to try Rabbi Belsky. Very caring, understanding and knowledgeable.
I called him out of the blue for an issue I was having. It was the first time I spoke with him and he totally involved himself to try and resolve it. He can be hard to reach though.
What I meant from Rabbi Keller is that once a person is fully committed to a Torah life style, then that’s it. They are a Torah/Frum/orthodox.. Jew. That’s it. All else is not relevent
I daven for teshuva and forgivness from Hashem thrice daily. (My parents have also been asking for his for themselves..)
I heard Rabbi Chaim Pinchos Sheinberg describe how, as a public school student, an Italian kid punched him.. down the stairs! The next day his mom refused to send him to school, so she sent him to RJJ. (His point was that we can all be like him.)
I also heard Rabbi Chaim Dov Keller say, back in his day, he was brought close to Torah. That’s it. He was as responsible as everyone else (and was treated that way). Nowadays he would be a “BT”. New rules would be made for him and he’d never have become who he is.
I just got for 15
BTW, there are those who are learning who happen to be poor. If the halochic preferences work out, sounds like two birds with one stone
Those who merit being FFB have more time in their lives to do mitzvos. BTs can never catch up..
Anyone second the motion that shlishi is, yet again, Joseph? Sure sounds like it
How would you define ‘being Frum”? We get credit for every Mitzvah we do and for every aveirah we refrain from. The greatest Tzadik gets rewarded for every small particle of a mitzvah he does. And the greatest roshe gets punished even for the smallest aveirah he does, even if he’s done so many before.
rav chaim said your lucky she was not born parshas puhra.
Quite comical. Rav Chaim Shelita would never, ever, speak this way. On the other hand, a poster named Joseph sure would.
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